May 20 2009Craigslist: Sword That Killed Goliath For Sale

wow, he's going to get struck by lightning.

It's like one of those cheap swords that come on plaques at the furniture store.

COOL!

No one else is commenting.... maybe I'm the only one left....

WHEW!

Looks suspiciously like a metal fence post...you can even see the welds. FAIL!!

...Looks like he made it out of a bedframe...

I'll pass on this one, samurai swords for me

Well, I was skeptical untill I saw that last picture, thats all the proof I need.

Total Fail!

That's covered with rust, which means it's iron, and they didn't have iron work in the time of David. That's why they called it the Bronze Age. They didn't invent iron swords until, like, 1960.

This wasn't Goliath's sword. It was his drink stirrer.

This wasn't Goliath's sword. It was his drink stirrer.

"SO WHAT WOULD A GIANT BE DOING WITH A 3-FOOT SWORD?"

Good point. It'd be like me walking around with a metal toothpick to jab people as I go past. Which I do, admittedly, but still...

This wasn't Goliath's sword. It was his drink stirrer.

Damn!

This wasn't Goliath's sword. It was his drink stirrer

@11

FAIL! It's Bill Brasky's drink stir. BILL BRASKY ONCE USED A 3-FOOT METAL DRINK STIR TO CURE HIMSELF OF GONORRHEA! BILL BRASKY!

even if the biblical story is even partly true,
even there wasn't any welding VISIBLE,
even if swords are never completely metal,
the "style" and "craftmanship" are off by at least 800 years.

This looks more proto-spanish conquistadorian than hebrew.
Back then it was just a blade and something to cover the handle, like leather or wool strappings. Maybe a hilt if you were rich.

Can't believe this guy is actually trying to pass this as authentic and/or original...

With that guys' wordsmithy expertise, I feel soooo confident the seller is intelligent enough to know the history of the sword.

That's EXACTLY the sword I used. Goddamn ninjas...

wow the sword looks......

Microsoft fail
http://www.epiclosers.com/load/8-1-0-380

I'm just surprised this person had the intelligence to turn their computer on, let alone post this BS on craigslist. "So if anyone is interested in this sword they must do their home work...." Too bad that all you have to do is look at the pic and see the welds and know it's a load of crap! Goliath's wang was probably 3 feet long!
@10,
You hit it right on the nose man! Good job! Didn't take much to reveal that this guy a is a retard!
"Apparently they don't teach writing in St. Louis until 8th grade." LOL! Awesome!

I'm selling the stone from the sling the hit Goliath in the head...

Taking bids now

at first glance I thought it said "IT BELONGS IN A MUSLIM" Oops

@23

Only if David autographed it first. I'm no sucker! I know he signed that shit. It says so right in the Bible. Just after the Mike's Car Wash ad.

UPDATE:

Oops! I was looking at the Yellow Pages again. It's so hard to tell the difference. Now let's see......Corinthians 13:11... AH! Here it is! Buy one get one wings every Thursday. Hmm... These religious guys really know how to get my attention.

Doodz, yu r al gona mis oot on teh beggest craiglest zale evar!!!

im totttaly gona bye teh sord an sel it to the vatican and be a gazilionare

itz mine suckerz!!!

Now what's that mother and child pic doing in there? Is that supposed to be Goliath's widow and orphaned Philistine kids?

Ugh, I guess if he still had a widow, his kids wouldn't be orphans, meh. What kind of a woman would it take to satisfy Goliath, now we're on the subject? I'm thinking that gamer girl from a couple of months back.

aha ha ha suckerz

They must teach metal shop before the 8th grade in St. Louie...... interesting. Now if he had the Golden Fleece from Jason and the Argonauts now that is a piece of must have history. I myself collect pictures of Elvis in velvet of course.

Let's go easy on him... clearly, he was smart enough to skip kindergarten thru 6th grade...

This wasn't Goliath's sword. It was his drink stirrer.

You could take out a foot and a half olive with that puppy!

Mmmm, rusty olive...

@33

Please see 11 & 17. It pays to read previous comments. Keeps you from looking like an ass. Which you are.

This wasn't Goliath's sword. It was his drink stirrer.

Experts claim that the sword described in the Bible, and worn on the back, was a curved blade Sickle sword and not the straight sword normally used by the Philistines. The sickle sword was first used by the Canaanites and, because of its brutal effectiveness, was later adopted by the Egyptians. So, why did Goliath own such a sword? It makes sense that a warrior like Goliath who had no doubt fought one to one battles on many occasions previous to this, would have collected trophies of these victories. Perhaps the sickle sword was one of these trophies.
I also wanted to mention that the Philistines entered the 'Iron age' before the Israelites and so they had far superior weaponry. The Bible mentions Goliath's iron headed spear.The Philistines maintained a monopoly on iron technology until around the time that David became king.
Numbers 35:16, and Deuteronomy 27:5 indicate that the Israelites used iron on a regular basis. I am not saying that they used it for weapons but they were using and valueing it prior to entering the Promise Land and were familiar enough with it to recognize its use in war (Joshua 17:16 ff). I also note that iron was in use before the flood as well (Genesis 4:22)
They had a certain amount of captured or purchased iron weaponry and tools but apparently they didn't have the technology to forge their own.
Yes, they knew all about iron as they were in awe of the iron chariots of the canaanites.
Remember also that the Israelites had just come from 400+ years in captivity and spent 40 years in the desert! A lot of technology that they had would have been lost.
1Sa 13:19 Now there was no smith found throughout all the land of Israel; for the Philistines said, Lest the Hebrews make them swords or spears:

Apparently the ones who 'ruled' over them could also(and did at times) restrict the Israelites smiths and their access and capabilities etc.

The fun doesn't stop at that posting - The oil painting in the background is ALSO for sale on the site. Subject is "Jesus Photo, Oil Painting on Board & Print ****pic (St. Louis Missouri, 63112)" and the posting reads "taking offers, to the person who who what the sword and up-set because I will not bow, I only bow to Jesus ". I would pay money to have this person sterilized to prevent future generations from its offspring... well... let's be honest... I don't think breeding is in this shim's future.

FAKE!!!!

This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.

This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never BAck Down where Max was fired and replaced with a homeless guy to resolve a $1.00 bet. Before joining forces with the homeless guy and getting revenge, he met a clean hooker who occasionally has a problem with constipation.

This wasn't Goliath's sword. It was his drink stirrer

@37

:/

I love Bible articles thanks

"everyone knows about the game in collecting and how things pass from hand to hand until one gets the big bucks. "

It is because of ideas like this that the economy is f*cked.

@10

King David was around in the iron age.

@37

Good job but I don't think anyone is going to read that.

the sad thing is that he will probably sell it to some bible f^(%ing retard for alot of money

Too late, his Craigslist ad is flagged for removal. I was totally gonna buy it too and find someone to sell it to for those big bucks he was talking about. Back to hawking snuggies and sham wows for me...

with this sword you even won't be able to kill your grandma.It looks some part of a gate to me.

as we see that sword is just say on the front page, have all done their homework in seeking what they say is not, shame on you even the 7th grader did her research, anyway in 1 Samuel 17 the Philistine giant was measuring over nine feet tall. And we was told that the sword was three feet long any others swords would have been like a hotdog in his hand, and again David held the sword with his two hands lifting it with the power of God' and he was a young boy he out thought the giant, so maybe that 7th grader knows something we don't know THINK ABOUT IT ....

Goliath must've sucked ass cause that sword is a piece of crap

http://std-aids.mybrute.com

@ 48 "And we was told that the sword was three feet long any others swords would have been like a hotdog in his hand."
Interesting How old are you ? They had hotdogs? Or just at special slaying events?

Yep, that thing had to belong to David. See how the handle looks like the Detroit Tigers logo? That's a "D" for David.

Maybe if the moron had done their homework, they would've made it past 7th grade.

"research it yourself and then bring me 7,000 dollars"
Thats my favourite line. I'm gunna use it in all my ebay auctions from now on.

Freakin' liar.

My cousin, Jim and I made that sword from the leaf springs from my Uncle Frank's '82 Plymouth Reliant K-Car, and the handle was from the tie-rod ends.

We put it up on eBay last August, and that dude bought it from us for 18 bucks. He even gave us negative feedback 'cause it was so rusty.

Caveat Emptor, motherscratcher!

This wasn't Goliath's sword. It was his drink stirrer.

How much for the giant's head? He has that too right?

I have a bunch of short & curly hairs that may or may not have been the Virgin Mary's pubic hair! For only $500, they can be yours. Email me c/o the Geekologie writer (he gets a 15% cut.)

Anyone who is into swords (Or happens to get attacked with them a lot, like me, no seriously.......a lot) can tell this is not an authentic sword. Why is it that when pieces of scrap metal are welded together (not even decently) in the shape of a sword the owners try to pass is off as genuine. That fact that it is rusted does not consitute that it is old. Oh well, I have to go anyways, something is cutting into my side......WHAT! Another sword! You have got to be kidding me!!

This wasn't Goliath's sword. It was his drink stirrer.

But where do you mount the spare tire?

By the power of Greyskull!

@58

On the trunk. Where else, silly? TIRE TIRE TIRE!!!!!!!!!!

@37

It is hard to say what kind of sword Goliath would have used, or even if there ever was a Goliath. It was 3,000 years ago. For the sake of argument, that part of the world was an international crossroads, Philistines could have had captured Egyptian, Hittite (the Hittites were the first to use iron weapons), Mitanni. Aegean. Amorite or any of a half dozen other kinds of swords, bronze or iron. Who knows? It's all guessing.

The stories of David were written generations after the fact by people who wanted to glorify the bloody deeds of their ancestors. Then they were rewritten again and again over the centuries by different scribes with different agendas who didn't really understand most of the words they were re-copying (try reading Jean Wyclif's English bible for an idea). and then they were translated into English by people who didn't understand Hebrew all that well and also had their own agendas.

Experts, professors who can read and interpret the cultural context of ancient Near Eastern languages can sort of guess, but they don't agree with each other even on the guesses. And their guesses aren't anything like the propaganda fed to most Sunday school kids.

We can put "Goliath's sword" next to the medieval relics of "true cross", the "spear of destiny" and Blackadder's pipe rack that Jesus made for his dad in the carpenter shop...

Is it made out of candy?

I just happened to have an extra $7,000 lying around to buy that authentic looking sword but damn if the posting was flagged as being inappropriate. Of all the damn luck. Oh well, #23 you still have that stone for sale???

@35

Went right over your head...

and....

This wasn't Goliath's sword. It was his drink stirrer.

Fake to the max. Style's wrong, steel wasn't invented yet (bronze doesn't rust like that), and bragging about your 7th grade education does not help solidify your sale.
What a dolt.