May 28 2009Bottle 'Staches: For Those Who Can't Commit
Can't commit to growing a sweet freaking mustache? Or maybe you just can't grow facial hair? Whatever the case, these Pops Staches from Shane Blomberg, Andrew Reeves and John Healy may be for you. You just pick a style, attach it to your favorite soda, and never be caught not holding the soda to your lips. This just in: work great on 40's too! Awesome. But personally, I rock a traditional handlebar. Which, due to its inherent danger, you must be this tall *flailing arms* to ride. Ladies?
Hit the jump for a picture of the different styles and a closeup.
Shane Blomberg's Portfolio [coroflot]
Thanks Shane, I want some. What -- a little double mustache action never hurt anyone. Or has it? I bet it has.
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Reader Comments
1. changerofways12 - May 28, 2009 12:37 PM
FIRST......
fancy moshestach u has there
2. naas - May 28, 2009 12:38 PM
@1 probably wears one of these things, fail
3. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - May 28, 2009 12:39 PM
Wow, a mustache rides comment... nice one.
4. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - May 28, 2009 12:41 PM
I've already got a sweet Burt Renolds going. No need for this shit.
5. /Eyeroll - May 28, 2009 12:43 PM
@1... a firstard who can't spell mustache EVEN THOUGH... it's written several times in the article. WIN
Side note.... They say that those are for pop bottles but it oddly resembles a cock ring... SALVADOR DALI WEINERS!!
6. McCracken - May 28, 2009 12:43 PM
Lol, thats funny. Your drink has a mustache. lulz
7. STOMPY - May 28, 2009 12:43 PM
I'll put this on my junk so when chicks blow me they can think of it as a mustache ride...
8. naas - May 28, 2009 12:44 PM
^ this is true I've seen the beastly hairy thing. (that didn't sound right shum)
9. STOMPY - May 28, 2009 12:44 PM
@5
Damn, beat me to the cock ring joke.... this isn't over....
10. naas - May 28, 2009 12:45 PM
I should've put an @4 in front of my last remark
11. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - May 28, 2009 12:45 PM
@5 - Now I can't stop laughing at the mental picture of a 'stache cock ring featured mid-blowjob. Thanks for making my day!
12. changerofways12 - May 28, 2009 12:46 PM
-.-
13. STOMPY - May 28, 2009 12:46 PM
you talking about my beastly thing naas?
14. naas - May 28, 2009 12:46 PM
@11 damn, I hope that beats not being able to watch you tube at work
15. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - May 28, 2009 12:47 PM
13 - If you want us to leave your mom out of the comments, stop bringing her up.
16. naas - May 28, 2009 12:49 PM
No I was talking about the 'gandolf' shumway is sporting, not your little stompy heh☺
17. naas - May 28, 2009 12:49 PM
@15 bwaaahaaahahaa
18. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - May 28, 2009 12:52 PM
naas - The no vids at work thing only irritates me on this site. So yeah, that mental picture def was worth it. Hell, lately I've barely had time to lurk here!
19. /Eyeroll - May 28, 2009 12:54 PM
@11 Lol, glad to bring a smile to that cubicle :D
Also... if you shave your nutz right you could totally give
yer cack sideburns and a goatee!
20. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - May 28, 2009 12:54 PM
19 - I dont' have hangly danglies. I have chesticles.
21. naas - May 28, 2009 12:55 PM
Speaking of, I should get back to that work thing - GWs sending hatemail for too many damn comments, he says get your own damn chatroom
22. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - May 28, 2009 12:59 PM
Gandolf? Maybe in another 15 years. For now, Van Dyke will do.
23. Polinodial Cysts' suck ass (aka STOMPY) - May 28, 2009 1:01 PM
What about dildo saggins and all the other throbits?
24. pirhan - May 28, 2009 1:02 PM
@ #7
I'm sorry to hear that your penis has a 34 cm circumference. But hey, don't let that get you down, it's suppose to be the motion of the ocean, right?
25. /Eyeroll - May 28, 2009 1:04 PM
@20 Weiner-stache > Chesticles > Hangly Danglies
26. Milkman - May 28, 2009 1:11 PM
I'm so gonna rock the stromboli
http://www.confessionsofamanwhore.com
27. LSDiesel - May 28, 2009 1:12 PM
Nice.
Mustache = Macho
Macho = Nacho
Nacho = Mexican
Therefore:
Mustache = Mexican
And I shave my pubes.
28. Pew³ - May 28, 2009 1:23 PM
I must still be asleep.
I had to read the article again. I didn't get the 40's thing. I thought GW was referring to the era that these mustaches were worn.
I just got the reference to the 40 oz liquor bottle.
OK, going to take a nap on my desk now.
Send the PEW signal if anything PEW comes up.
ZZZzzzzZzzzz
29. naas - May 28, 2009 1:29 PM
@29 http://s.buzzfeed.com/static/imagebuzz/web02/2009/2/23/21/pew-pew-pew-1137-1235442623-30.jpg
30. cranktrain - May 28, 2009 1:35 PM
I have a real "stromboli" because I committed over a year ago. Ladies swoon. Men covet it. I had to coin a new word because of how many dudes keep saying "Nice 'stache, man." That word is MANVY. That's right. Why, just last night at the local pizza parlor I was told by a guy's girlfriend that she loved my 'stache. He wistfully gazed at it, knowing I would satisfy her more deeply and intensely than he could ever hope to. Now the 'stache has only grown in power and magnificence. Tremble, weak kneed at it's glory, flustered by the thought of a tickle from it.
31. 24-bit whore - May 28, 2009 1:37 PM
That, was beautiful.
32. GLADIATOR - May 28, 2009 1:47 PM
Not as great as Nietzsche's moustache! Now that was a mouch to oogle at!
Come and join the short and easy game mybrute:
http://burpnassker.mybrute.com
33. WWII Vet - May 28, 2009 2:20 PM
I lost a leg for this generation.
34. Gando - May 28, 2009 3:09 PM
Lol any Hitler-shaped mustache available?
35. aids - May 28, 2009 6:14 PM
now i need one to go with eyebrows and a stash
http://std-aids.mybrute.com
36. Cap'n Jack - May 29, 2009 9:48 AM
The whole "Ladies" thing is getting old. Sometimes it's really funny, but it's usually a miss.
And I have a sneaking suspicion that GW is really just the Superficial Writer in disguise.
37. Kelsey - May 31, 2009 5:09 AM
AH WHAT, no HITLER?
38. mary-ann - June 1, 2009 4:00 AM
i'd totaly get one or two. yeahh bay-bee!
39. pro - June 1, 2009 6:01 AM
Yo! if your stache is not out yet you can try a jab of testosterone!
40. jon - November 4, 2009 11:33 AM
very very nice!