May 23 2009 Uh-Oh: Parents Catching On To Text Talk
Can you believe it? Parents are actually breaking the code of "secret" text speak that teenagers use to talk dirty to one another and make plans to *gasp* smoke the marijuana.
Ever wondered what the secret codes that teenagers are bashing out on mobile phones and computers mean?Well, wonder no more.
A list of the top 50 acronyms that every parent should know has been compiled and posted onto the internet, MyFox Atlanta reports.
According to the list, a "Code 9" or "CD9" means that parents are nearby.
The words "I love you" can often be difficult for people to say, but the latest way around is by simplifying the phrase to "143".
143 -- really? I'm pretty sure people have has been using that since before Shakespeare. I mean, I used to use that shit in grade school when we only had pagers. Damn yeah I sold drugs!
Hit the jump for the top 50 "must know" phrases.
Continue Reading " Uh-Oh: Parents Catching On To Text Talk "
May 23 2009 Delicious: The Spoonful Of Cereal USB Drive
This is a USB drive that looks like a spoonful of cereal. And, just like Mary Poppins would say, "a spoonful of cereal helps the....WHY ARE THERE GRAPE NUTS IN MY LAPTOP, YOU LITTLE BITCHES?!?"
Hit the jump to see a video of the cereal in action.
Continue Reading " Delicious: The Spoonful Of Cereal USB Drive "
May 23 2009 He's An Addict!: Mario Buying Mushrooms
This is a new $18 shirt from Threadless that features Mario buying drugs from his little mushroom-headed dealer. As you can see, one star coin scores three whole shrooms, which is a pretty good deal if you ask me. But who's asking me? YO MAMA. Ooooh, burn! But seriously, this reminds me of the time I was duped into buying a bag of oregano for $40 and, knowing good and well what it was, still smoked it. ZOMG I got sooooo crunked!
Hit the jump for two shots of what the shirt looks like on bodies.
Continue Reading " He's An Addict!: Mario Buying Mushrooms "
May 22 2009 Magical Wolf Shirt Receives Rave Reviews
A shirt being sold by Amazon that features three wolf heads howling at the moon has receiving over 500 reviews and seriously increased sales. Most of the reviews mention the shirt's magical properties. Here's the one that got it all started:
This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.
I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women
Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark.
There you have it. The review was so popular that wolf shirt sales have gone through the roof (up 2,300%), with everybody else trying to score a piece of the magic. Hell, the BBC even did a story on it. Now, if you'll excu....*ripping track jacket off* OW OW OOOOOOOOOWWW!! Come on -- who likes it hairy?
Amazon Product Site
and
Joke review boosts T-shirt sales [bbcnews]
Thanks to gizmoduck, The Superficial Writer, pironic, debaser, Mubbly, Ben, Jacob, Danimal, Pete, Yopoleo, Richard Belding, Brett and Ryan, who know a shirt that will get that ladies when they see it.
May 22 2009 Paper Towels: ShamWow's Latest Competitor
This is a short infomercial for Paper Towels. I only watched like five seconds of it before I started daydreaming about who would win in a fight, this guy or Vince 'ShamWow' Shalomi. Then I realized I would kill them both because I ride into battle on a dinosaur holding a smaller dinosaur! Then I went out for a gelati and rubbed sunblock on some hot chicks' chests because I'm at the beach and I DON'T ROLL WITH LIZARD TITS, SON!
Paper Towels [collegehumor]
Thanks to Harry, who once beat a man with his own roll of paper towels for cutting in line at the grocery checkout.
May 22 2009 Retro Gaming Refrigerator Magnet Sets
Looking for some retro-gaming flair you can stick to the fridge? Enter MagnetGames' Etsy shop. Seen here is a small sampling of a 22-piece, $30 Super Mario magnet set. Mario not doing it for you? Hit the jump for some Zelda, Pac-Man and Tetris action. Shit, there might even be an $8 cheeseburger coaster set. And no, I didn't just post this because I threatened the maker with future defamation of character unless I got a complimentary Zelda set. Susan, I hope you're reading this.
Hit the jump for a whole bunch more and link to the store.
May 22 2009 Dude -- Compared To Our Galaxy, We're Just Like, Little Ants Man. Little Ants That Are High
This is a time-lapse video of the center of the Milky Way Galaxy rising over Texas from 9:20 PM to 6:43 AM on April 21-22, 2009, during a star party. Now I have no idea what a star party is, but if it's anything like the last bachelor party I went to, I want in. We could even shoot the hooker's body into space like they did Spock's in The Wrath of Khan!
Tuesday Diversion: The Milky Way Time-lapse [chicagoist]
Thanks to Danny, who reminds you all: shoot for the stars. Even if you miss, you might bag an alien.
May 22 2009 Queen Of England Gets Gold-Plated Wii
The Queen of England was presented with a gold-plated Wii as part of a publicity stunt to hype up new title Big Family Games, which I have the feeling is gonna suck so hard.
BIG Family Games is the ultimate Wii game to get all family members, from grandparents to young children, playing together. The Royal Family is arguably the most important family in the country so we felt that they had to have a copy of the new game ... But we thought that Her Majesty the Queen wouldn't want to play on any old console, so an extra-special gold one was commissioned. We hope that she and the rest of the Royal Family enjoy the game!
Exciting news, huh? What do you expect folks -- I'm blogging from the effing beach. Yeah, and I just had sex with a mermaid! Of course, I was pretty drunk so it could have just been a big fish. Or *crumpling Subway wrapper* a tuna melt. What? OVEN BAKED SUBS NEED LOVE TOO!
THQ sends the Queen a gold-plated Wii [geek]
Thanks to Edwin, van, Riri, Watch-303 and catch22, who don't need gold-plated Wii's because of platinum you punk bitches.
May 22 2009 Fun At The Fair: Animal Hand Paintings
These is a little gallery of amazing animal hand paintings created by somebody who I don't know who is. But whoever they are, they sure did a great job. So great, in fact, I've been inspired to paint my own.
Well, what do you think? It's a robin. That? That's the worm it's eating. Oh -- looks like he's having a little trouble keeping it down! Ha -- you see where I'm going with this? Hell.
Hit the jump for a bunch of others and a link to another gallery with at least 2 or 3x more.
May 21 2009 Cutest Thing I've Seen All Day: Whack-A-Kitty
Whack-a-Kitty is just like Whac-A-Mole at Chuck-E-Cheese except instead of winning tickets you win getting to clean litterboxes and waking up at all ungodly hours of the night. That said, this is the cutest thing I've seen in awhile. And I saw a baby duck riding a bunny riding a puppy at the park yesterday, so that's saying a lot.
Whac-A-Kitty Is a Case of Cruel and Unusual Cuteness [gizmodo]
Thanks to Julian, who once got caught picking up field mice and bopping them on the head.
May 21 2009 Frank Lloyd Wright Architecture LEGO Sets
LEGO has just released the first two of six sets in an 'Architecture' series celebrating the iconic work of Frank Lloyd Wright. Also, I have been to Fallingwater. So yeah, put that in your Guggenheim and smoke it.
The release of the LEGO structures coincides with the real Guggenheim Museum's "From Within Outward" exhibition, which is a celebration of 50 years of Wright's continued influence after his passing.
The first of the sets was released on the 15th to coincide with the opening of the exhibition, and are part of LEGO's LEGO Architecture line of sets, made to "inspire future architects, engineers and designers as well as architecture fans around the world with the LEGO brick as a medium."
Cool, I want them. But nowhere near as much as I want you. Look at me -- don't you think we're sharing something special? I do, and they're called $6 pitchers. Now drink till you love me!
Hit the jump to see a shot of the Guggenheim.
Continue Reading " Frank Lloyd Wright Architecture LEGO Sets "
May 21 2009 Girl Miraculously Escapes Darwin Award Despite Diving In Front Of Truck For iPod
Apparently some 16-year old girl dove into traffic because she dropped her iPod in the street and had already blasted her remaining brains out at level 11 volume.
The girl was walking across the street on Tuesday when she dropped her iPod. She went back to grab it in moving traffic and was, unsurprisingly, hit by the approaching pickup truck. She suffered a broken leg, but hey, her iPod is OK!
Now this is the time where I close my eyes and daydream about being the person driving the truck. OH. UH-OH! LADY LOOK OU.... There were no survivors.
Brilliant Girl Jumps In Front of a Pickup Truck to Save iPod [gizmodo]
May 21 2009 This Is The Awesomest Hat Ever Made
And if you could incorporate a beer helmet into it, it would be awesomest hat ever possible to make.
I made this hat for my son - he wanted a mean shark. I saw the dead fish hat pattern and loved the idea - I just varied the pattern quite a lot to make different looking species. And felted it so it looks like it jumped out of the water and landed on his head...
I basically cast 90 stitches onto a size 9 circular needle and winged it from there. I used Patons wool and it felted great.
Okay I have absolutely no idea what that means because the only thing I've ever stitched is my head to the carpet, but if somebody out there could make me one that would be just about the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. Well, besides BYOB night at the strip club. Superficial Writer -- out of my cooler!
Shark Attack Hat [craftster]
Thanks to Towee Monster and Yopoleo, who have both almost been victims of shark attacks but punched the guys before they got hold of their underwear. Good looking, guys.
May 21 2009 Astronauts Drink Urine, Love Every Drop
Well if those aren't the happy faces of three urine-guzzling fools, I don't know what are.
At the international space station, it was one small sip for man and a giant gulp of recycled urine for mankind.
Astronauts aboard the space station celebrated a space first on Wednesday by drinking water that had been recycled from their urine, sweat and water that condenses from exhaled air. They said "cheers," clicked drinking bags and toasted NASA workers on the ground who were sipping their own version of recycled drinking water."The taste is great," American astronaut Michael Barratt said. Then as Russian Gennady Padalka tried to catch little bubbles of the clear water floating in front of him, Barratt called the taste "worth chasing."
"The taste is great". "Worth chasing." Yeah, maybe worth chasing with a glass of battery acid. Just kidding, I'm sure urine is delicious. Like mine, but with less alcohol and cherry pits. *pew pew*
Cheers! Crew drinks up recycled urine in space [msnbc]
Thanks to Jon, who just ordered a case of the stuff because he loves outerspace.
May 21 2009 Dunlop Sponsored Car Sets Loopty-Loop Record, There's A Loopty-Loop Record?
Dunlop, in a move to prove that their tires won't explode even while upside-down, made a giant loopty-loop and had some tiny car ride through it. Not much more to say, except I could have done two consecutive loops. On fire. While banging a dinosaur. In the backseat.
Loop-the-Loop Dunlop World Record [metro]
Thanks to Andy, who once rode a roller coaster with his hands up the whole time.
May 21 2009 Ghost Caught On Film In British Museum
Some BBC employee allegedly took a picture of a ghost at a museum in England. This is the picture, and, quite frankly, I just don't see it. Unless it's an Arab smoking a hookah with a hand down his pants. That I can see.
Mr Sandys, 30, was photographing at the reputedly haunted Edward Jenner Museum in Berkeley, Gloucestershire, and captured the image on his camera.
"It was a bizarre formation of light showing a mystery figure in a doorway," he said. "I am sure it was not caused by sunlight or dust in the air."I checked again and looked in the doorway but I could see nothing."
He went on: "As a BBC employee I wouldn't dare doctor an image or I would lose my job."
Same here, Mr. Sandys -- I would never doctor an image for fear of losing my job. BWAHAHAHAHA! No but seriously, how can you be sure it wasn't the sunlight and dust? What are you, some kind of dustologist? And, if so, is it true dust is mostly fly assholes and eyeballs?
Mystery figure shocks cameraman [bbcnews]
Thanks to Romeo, who would have kicked that ghost in the nuts and stolen its shoes.
May 21 2009 Well It's About Freaking Time: Tetris Soap
Tetris soap is tetrad shaped soap pieces that make a perfect addition to the seashell soaps in your guest bathroom that I'm never sure if I'm supposed to use but do anyway. They're made by Digital Soaps, the same folks that brought us the video game controller soaps. 8 ounces of tetrads will set you back $10, but they also have little Space Invader bars that will run you $10.50 for 24 pieces. Hit the jump to see more of both. Then, go with the tetrads. Trust me: L pieces were practically made for the gooch.
Hit it for a bunch more cleanliness.
Continue Reading " Well It's About Freaking Time: Tetris Soap "
May 20 2009 Lights, Camera, LEGO: Plastic Movie Posters
In the same vein as the famous photo reproductions (and classic video games), this is a little gallery of movie posters made using LEGO blocks. I posted some of my favorites after the jump, but there are 21 in total (some of which were made by Flickr user Craig Lyons)so hit the link to see all of them if you're into that sort of thing. But, if you're into that other sort of thing, call me. I'm talking about sex with bloggers. Hey, a little experimentation never hurt anybody -- it just electrocuted a few lab rats. Ladies -- know what I'm sayin'?
Go on, hit it.
Continue Reading " Lights, Camera, LEGO: Plastic Movie Posters "
May 20 2009 Awesome: The Future According To Microsoft
This is a video of the future according to Microsoft. And, despite not owning a Zune, I would totally live there. In a treehouse, bitches, a treehouse. Close your eyes -- can you see it? It looks like Tarzan dry humping Judy Jane Jetson.
Microsoft's REAL Vision of the Future [gizmodo]
May 20 2009 Human Evolution's 'Missing Link' Found, Surprisngly Not Your Mom. Oooh, Burn!
A 47-million year old skeleton of what is believed to be the "missing link" in human's evolutionary split from tree-swinging, bug picking, shit throwing apes has been found in Germany and nicknamed "Ida".
"This is the first link to all humans," Hurum, of the Natural History Museum in Oslo, Norway, said in a statement. Ida represents "the closest thing we can get to a direct ancestor."
Ida, properly known as Darwinius masillae, has a unique anatomy. The lemur-like skeleton features primate-like characteristics, including grasping hands, opposable thumbs, clawless digits with nails, and relatively short limbs.
Now I know what you're thinking, and yes, I would hit that like a bushel of bananas with a coconut. Ha, what do you mean that's like my great great great great great great great great great grandmother to the thousandth power? AND SO WHAT IF IT IS?
"MISSING LINK" FOUND: New Fossil Links Humans, Lemurs? [nationalgeographic]
Thanks to Matty, Chris, chubo, Andrew, Jon, Dylan and Paul, who have all slept with cavewomen and liked it. Furplay, baby.
May 20 2009 Analog Digital Clock Looks Like Digital Clock, Is Made Of Analog Clocks, I'm All Man
Hell yeah I am too. The Clock Clock tells time using a digital-looking display made up of 24 smaller, analog clocks. It is a pretty neat idea and is best viewed from far away otherwise you might burn your retinas out or go crazy like that guy in that movie that was all like AAAAAAAHH!
Created by Swedish designers Humans Since 1982, the Clock Clock installation features 48 electronically-controlled analog clock hands which automatically rotate into the proper positions to form a giant digital display.
I kind of want it. It reminds me a lot of this clock, which is major badassery. Or Colonel Kickass if you're really digging it.
Hit the jump for a bunch more shots and a video of the clock in action.
May 20 2009 Craigslist: Sword That Killed Goliath For Sale
Somebody in St. Louis, Missouri is selling a sword that may or may not be the one David used to chop that punk bitch Goliath's monster nog off after getting him all stoned. Wow, I should really teach Sunday School.
B.C. sword the question is ? Is this the sword of the giant, that little young David chopped the giant head off ? I have received alot of responds on this sword because nothing like this have never came up in history of antiques, and not to much talked about because no one wants to talk about the Bible, one question why 7,000 and this is just pennies in whats it's worth, and everyone knows about the game in collecting and how things pass from hand to hand until one gets the big bucks. So if anyone is interested in this sword they must do their home work I found the information and only went to 7th grade, solike you say you need more infor you must research it yourself and then bring me 7,000 dollars ... also this sword is about three feet long ..
That made no sense. Apparently they don't teach writing in St. Louis until 8th grade. Also, David used Goliath's own sword to cut his head off right? SO WHAT WOULD A GIANT BE DOING WITH A 3-FOOT SWORD? No, more than likely this is the sword Jesus used to kill the ninjas at the Battle of Bethlehem.
Thanks to Todd, who, IT BELONGS IN A MUSEUM!
May 20 2009 The Original Punch-Out!!: Now More Realistic
Not to be outdone by the new Wii Punch-Out!! game that just dropped, here comes a video of the original Punch-Out!! the way it was meant to be played: with, uh, a bunch of buttons attached to a boxing dummy. While cool in theory, it leaves a little something to be desired in practice. Namely, everything. Still, I do like the sound it makes when you punch a button. Wait, no I don't.
Modified boxing dummy makes Punch-Out a bit more realistic [dvice]
May 20 2009 OM NOM NOM NOM: Beef Jerky Underwear
Beef jerky underwear is $139 underwear made out of untreated beef jerky. It is nutritious, delicious and sexy as all get-out. It kicks the shit out of those other edible underwears because those things taste awful even though they look like they should taste like Fruit Roll-Ups. Plus these ones are meatier. RAWR!
Note the time and care that has gone into crafting this wonderful undergarment. The attention to the properly placed groments that enhance the wearers comfort! We've even "bedazzled" this pair and added our Mixed Species logo on the back next to a heart of rhinestones.
We consider these to be the first in "meat haute couture". They are made to order for each specific customer from the highest quality of dried preserved meats we can find at the closest convenience store.
First of all, it should be "haute meat couture". And secondly, why the hell aren't they available in teriyaki? The Geekologie Writer demands teriyaki flavored draws for his women! Also, blindfolds. I have an internet face. :(
Hit the jump for a couple more shots, including a modeling one.
May 20 2009 Crying Wolf: The Fake Shark Attack Wetsuit
Want to look like a shark attack victim? I know, who doesn't? Well now thanks to a line of wetsuits by Diddo (the same guy that created these designer gas masks), you can. But if shark attack victim isn't for you, what about an anatomical muscle suit? Or wood? Or a rusted pattern? Hit the jump to see all the options. Currently only available in limited editions, the wetsuits will hit full production sometime in the near future. Just don't expect me to fall for the shark attack thing more than once. And speaking of which, have I ever told you about the time I faked drowning so the sexy lifeguard would perform mouth to mouth? His mustache was scratchy.
Hit it for some more worthwhile shots.
Continue Reading " Crying Wolf: The Fake Shark Attack Wetsuit "
May 19 2009 Closer To The Action: Kneeling Pee Bench
The Tenshi no Hizamakura (Angels Knee Pillow) is a little bench designed to get men lower to the action and help prevent urine misplacement. No word if it actually comes with the flying pee genie in the picture, but that would pretty awesome if it did (and also a bargain at $60).
...according to the manufacturer, House Doctor, urinating into the toilet from a certain height results in hundreds of droplets of spray & splash being ejected from the bowl - yes, they actually COUNTED the droplets - and in Japanese households it's the wife who gets to perform the toilet cleaning services.
Ha, maybe America and Japan aren't so different after all. Get it? Because the women do the cleaning here too! Isn't that right, honey? Honey? HONEY?! Shit. Note to self: rerun singles ad. Bigger penis this time.
Hit the jump for a couple more shots of the questionableness that I'll never need because I always sit down.
Continue Reading " Closer To The Action: Kneeling Pee Bench "
May 19 2009 MUST SEE!: LEGO Mindstorm Pirate Movie
NOTE: I embedded the video in high quality so it may take a minute to load.
This is a little movie made using nothing by LEGO Mindstorm NXT sets and LEGO blocks. It is amazing. Plus, it's about pirates, so double whammy. The movie is only 2:20 long, and the rest of the video shows you what's behind the curtain, so you can understand how it was made. Which surprisingly didn't involve magic. Or so the maker would like us to believe. I'm on to you, sorcerer!
Incredible Mindstorms NXT Theater Creates Pirate Battle On Lego Seas [gizmodo]
May 19 2009 *PEW PEW* GLUG GLUG: The Beer Gun
As a man-child who's no stranger to chugging beers and puking on himself and then losing a shoe and cell phone only to find them both in the kitchen trash the next morning, I love beer. Like, love it, love it. But only bottles, not cans (cut me once, shame on you, cut me twice SHAME ON YOU AGAIN, YOU ARE A TERRIBLE LOVER!). Also, I really like guns because the very heart of George 'Sawed-Off' Washington beats inside my chest. So anyway, this 22 Machine Gun Glass stands 18-inches tall and is by far the coolest thing to drink out of besides boobies. *ahem* Ladies -- I'm a little parched over here. What? I WANT STRONG BONES!
Submachine gun beer bong, a weapon for those who must be forced to guzzle [coonessroundup]
May 19 2009 The Future Of Time Is Now: E-Ink Watches
These e-ink timepieces were created by Phosphor Watches and feature patented e-ink technology. What is e-ink? THE INK THAT SITS IN FRONT OF F-INK DURING ROLL CALL!
The principal components of electronic ink are millions of tiny microcapsules, about the diameter of a human hair. In one incarnation, each microcapsule contains positively charged white particles and negatively charged black particles suspended in a clear fluid. When a negative electric field is applied, the white particles move to the top of the microcapsule where they become visible to the user. At the same time, an opposite electric field pulls the black particles to the bottom of the microcapsules where they are hidden. By reversing this process, the black particles appear at the top of the capsule, which now makes the surface appear dark at that spot.
BA-DOOOOOOSH, ELECTRONIC TECHNOLOGY ON YOUR WRIST! The watches come in three different styles and range in price from $175-$225 depending on the model and wristband you choose. Personally, I want mine on a slap bracelet. You know what they say: you can take the boy out of the early 90's, but you can't take the dinosaur out of the boy. Seriously, we're totally stuck together. Got any butter handy? No? BBQ sauce?
Thanks to ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff, whose e ink watch broke and ruined his shirt. Faulty manufacturing, I smell class action!
May 19 2009 More Than Meets The Eye: Transformer USB Drive Is Awesomest I've Seen In A While
What do you buy for the man who has nothing? While you ponder that nugget of vast intellectuality, I'll tell you about this 2GB Transformer memory stick (which is way better than these ones). Probably the awesomest USB drive I've seen in forever, the unit transforms from a normal looking USB ding-dongle into Ravage, a fierce jungle cat Decepticon (which some believe to be a dog, WHICH HE IS NOT YOU WILL NOT RUIN MY CHILDHOOD). Available fro pre-order from the BigBadToyStore, this piece of badassery will set you back $43 and ships in September. But the question remains: shouldn't you avoid trusting a Decepticon with your porno?*
*Does Optimus Prime piss transmission fluid and wipe his ass with corrugated steel?**
**Bumblebee says so!
Product Page
via
Transforming Ravage Flash Drive [ohgizmo]
Thanks to Tank and Julian, who once convinced a Decepticon it was human and then broke its heart with a backhoe.
May 19 2009 I Can't Wait!: A 'Scantily Clad Bodybuilders Running Through Buildings' Video Game
In the most anticipated release since the last homoerotic game from Japan comes Muscle Koushinkyoku (Muscle March) for the Wii Virtual Console. Dropping May 26th, the 800 Wii Point game combines erotic fantasy with Human Tetris like gameplay. And I, for one, can hardly wait. So, in the meantime, who wants to go people watch at the gym with me? Cool, I'll be in the locker room.
Muscle Men, Bikinis, WTF [kotaku]
Thanks to stubags, who once punched through a wall because it was looking at him funny. That was a poster, stubags, you can't blame wall.
May 19 2009 Physics Are Phun!: The Ball Flip Trick
Impressive, but I would have gone with a triple gainer with a twist. Twisted ankle. I'm so clumsy! Now somebody bring me an ice pack, I threw a hip out humping a dinosaur pillow last night -- AND this morning. I AM A LOVEMAKING MACHINE!
Physics WIN [current]
Thanks to Andrew, who once popped one of those balls at the gym and everyone thought it was a terrorist act for a second. It was.
May 19 2009 Baaaaad Idea: Cheap Terminator Costumes
Just in time for the new movie, Toys-Я-Us is selling $13 T-600 (looks more like a T-6 if you ask me) costumes for children. I mean, it's not even Halloween. You let your kid run around the neighborhood with this thing on and it's game over, man! Wait, that was Aliens. Anyway, the costumes were made to compliment the rest of the crap they're marketing to children under 13 who shouldn't even be allowed to see the movie. Just sayin', my dad took me to see the original Terminator when I was 4. It all makes sense now, doesn't it?
Thanks to Reason, who once killed a T-600 with a laser beam and then called its mother Robo-Cop.
May 18 2009 It's On eBay: Your Own 'Show Used' Tribble
Want your very own Tribble from the original Star Trek series? Well you're in luck, thanks to a $5,000 eBay auction behind held by the son of Scotty (James Doohan).
This rare, large, walking Tribble is one of only 6 ever made and was used on the 1967 original Star Trek episode, "The Trouble with Tribbles" . Not only is this Tribble in great condition after 42 years, it actually works/walks. One of these Tribbles is on display at the Science Fiction Museum in Seattle and is owned by Paul Allen.
Nice. Alternatively, vacuum the carpet and then glue your sweepings to a Styrofoam ball. BOOM, Tribbles on the cheap. Join me next week when I explain how to make a Klingon out of a cadaver and model railroad mountain.
Hit the jump for several more shots.
Continue Reading " It's On eBay: Your Own 'Show Used' Tribble "
May 18 2009 Highly Questionable: The Infinite Slinky
The Infinite Slinky may look like a belt sander taped to a tissue box, but I don't think that's what it is (that's exactly what it is). The device was created by Geekologie Reader (and Stupid Inventor) Zachary, who obviously grew up in a one story house. Thanks, Zachary, but I think I speak for all of us when I say Log. Just sayin' -- it's big, it's heavy, it's wood. And wood is good. Especially in the morning. Any lady lumberjacks in the house?
Thanks to Zachary, who keeps it stupid.
May 18 2009 I've Seen It All Now: A Twittering Toilet
That's right folks, a toilet that Twitters every time it's flushed. Because if that's not a sign of the apocalypse, what is? Your mom making out with a robot. Oh, I thought you were asking. What do you mean I said it? LISTEN, I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING! Now, where were we? Right, a Twittering toilet.
@ last user: Great, you clogged me -- about to overflow. Shit on your floor commencing in 3...2...
Twitter Page
via
Twitter Toilet Tweets Your Poo [gizmodo]
Thanks to Julian, clownpounder and Dogless, who don't need Twitter to tell them they should feel two pounds lighter.
May 18 2009 How To: Get Free WiFi During Your Commute
Like this. At least that's how they do it in Moscow. From Russia With Love, baby! Also, with nesting dolls and bacon vodka. Suck it, Mr. Bond, you just got stirred!
Hit the jump for another shot of the girl in action just in case you thought it was fake or something. OH YEAH -- WELL YOUR DIAMOND IS FAKE!
Continue Reading " How To: Get Free WiFi During Your Commute "
May 18 2009 Not A Plane: Winged Submarine Is Confused
The Super Falcon isn't a bird at all. OR IS IT?!? No, it's not. It's a submarine with wings. The brainchild of British inventor Graham Hawkes, the sub is capable of diving to depths of 1,500 feet, achieving breakneck speeds of up to six knots (~7MPH or some really kinky bondage), and traveling approximately 25 nautical miles on a battery charge.
Mr Hawkes said: 'After twenty years of prototyping, Super Falcon is our most advanced and elegant submersible yet, encompassing all the innovations we made in introducing underwater flight from the surface to the bottom of the ocean.'
'It is advanced enough to go barrel-rolling with dolphins, spy-hopping with whales or searching for sunken galleons,' Mr Hawkes added.
Oh hell yes -- I want to go barrel rolling with dolphins and have sex with the Loch Ness Monster! Nessie -- NESSIE! She's a relative of the dinosaurs you know. RAWR! Or should I say WUWW!? That's RAWR underwater.
Hit the jump for several more shots of all the fun to be had.
Continue Reading " Not A Plane: Winged Submarine Is Confused "
May 18 2009 Experiment: Which Dog Do Women Like Best?
This is a video of an experiment called 'Puppy Pulling Power' that helps determine which breed of dog women respond to most. Basically some guy attached a digital camera to a dog's collar that takes a picture every time it detects a smile. Or breasts. Quite possibly breasts. Whatever the case, I'm adopting everything the pound has to offer. Cats too. Ladies?
Hit the jump for some of the sweater yammier images, along with a graph showing the success of the various dogs, and a longer, 10 minute movie about the project.
Continue Reading " Experiment: Which Dog Do Women Like Best? "
May 18 2009 Silent Hill Cosplay Only Marginally Sexy
I mean, she is still a nurse.
Hit the Flickr link for a ton more, all of which are scarily sexy.
Flickr Gallery
via
A Truly Creepy Silent Hill Nurse Cosplay [kotaku]
Thanks to Julian, who would still hit it like a sackful of penicillin.
May 18 2009 Geekologie Reader Make USB Gluestick
Young Geekologie Reader Izzy Slypig went and made himself a 1GB gluestick flashdrive. It rotates up and out of the container as you twist the bottom. That is all. But, if you've ever wanted to steal computer files from preschool, now's your chance.
Hit the jump for three more shots of the drive in various states of twist.
May 17 2009 Another Dorm Used As A Giant Display
This is another video of students from the Polish Wroclaw University of Technology turning one of their dorms into a giant 12 x 10 four-color display. They play all kind of games and animations, so feel free to skip around and realize just how much time was wasted. The group responsible calls themselves P.I.W.O., which is apparently the equivalent of B.E.E.R. in English. Of course it could mean cock rocker for all I know, I'm not Polish.
Youtube
and
Dormitory Turned Into Huge Color Display [slashdot]
Thanks to Mark and Julian, once played Pong against each other on a 2 x 2 display and both lost. And to Emode, who is Polish and informed me that P.I.W.O. does in fact translate to B.E.E.R. and not T.I.T.S., which would have been cool too.
May 17 2009 XBox 360/Zune Mashup Device Coming?
Is Microsoft working on a device that combines functionality of the XBox 360 and Zune? I don't even know what the hell that would be, but maybe.
The project, codenamed "xYz," is said to feature a WVGA touchscreen and a way to play music and movies on both the device as well as the Xbox 360. Basically, it's going to be a connected handheld gaming system with rich multimedia features.
Eh. Also, "xYz" -- what a horrible codename. I can already think of like a million better ones. Including, and pretty much limited to, "Project Zune Liquidation".
May 17 2009 Inventor Denied Patent For Human 'Killer Chip'
A Saudi inventor was recently denied a German patent for what is being described as a "killer chip". What is a killer chip? Cooler Ranch Doritos, hands down.
The basic model would consist of a tiny GPS transceiver placed in a capsule and inserted under a person's skin, so that authorities could track him easily. Model B would have an extra function -- a dose of cyanide to remotely kill the wearer without muss or fuss if authorities deemed he'd become a public threat.
The inventor said the chip could be used to track terrorists, criminals, fugitives, illegal immigrants, political dissidents, domestic servants and foreigners overstaying their visas."The invention will probably be found to violate paragraph two of the German Patent Law -- which does not allow inventions that transgress public order or good morals
If the aliens have taught us anything, it's that the key to successful human tracking is NOT LETTING THE HUMANS KNOW. You embed a cyanide chip under my skin and guess what -- I'm cutting it out. With my teeth. Oh I'm sorry, was that too hardcore for you? Yeah, well one time I ate two of my own toes because I hadn't eaten dessert.
Saudi 'Killer Chip' Implant Would Track, Eliminate Undesirables [foxnews]
Thanks to Dustin and philip, who track people the old fashioned way: by looking for footprints and shit. Literally, looking for shit.
