May 9 2009 Captain Ahab, The Harpoon!: Fail Whale Cake
Twitter user wildflourbakery went and made a fail whale cake for the Lawrence, Kansas Tweet Up. And I can safely say I have no idea what I just typed. Tweet Up? Fail whale? I AM ALL WIN FISH, SON!
Hit the jump for a couple more shots and another, different fail whale cake.
Continue Reading " Captain Ahab, The Harpoon!: Fail Whale Cake "
May 9 2009 Konami Code Shows List Of Coded Websites
Entering the Konami Code on this page displays a list of other known Konami coded websites. I tried out several of them, and they all do different things. One started displaying zombies, one broke into the 'all your base are belong to us' cutscene and others didn't do jackshit. So yeah, feel free to email them if you know of any others. Or, share them in the comments here. But don't go trying to trick me into visiting an adult website, or my mom will take away my internet. And then, no Geekologie. And without Geekologie, ______________.
FILL IN THE BLANK CONTEST!
Thanks to This Is Me Posting and Adubbz, who once beat Contra without using the code. Just kidding, nobody has.
May 9 2009 Kill It!: How A Roomba Cleans A Room
This is the path a Roomba took to clean a room. As you can see, it's pretty haphazard. But what did you expect -- it's just a stupid robot. Honestly, I'm surprised the little deviant didn't spend the whole time pleasuring itself in the corner by repeatedly running over a power cord.
The shot was taken by shutting off all the lights in the room for 30 minutes and taking a long exposure of the path the Roomba took while cleaning up.
While I despise all things robotic, I've got to admit -- whoever took the pic must have balls of triple platinum. Leaving a robot alone in a dark room for a half hour? That's crazy talk.
Long-Exposure Shot of a Roomba's Path Shows Beautifully Organized Chaos [gizmodo]
May 8 2009 Star Trek Band Warp 11 Releases New Album
Just in time for the new movie, Star Trek band Warp 11 has released a new album entitled "I Don't Want to Go to Heaven as Long as They have Vulcans in Hell". It includes such sure to be classics as: Jim Beam Me Up, Betazoid Mind F%%k, Beam into Me, They Put Creatures in Our Bodies, Suds Me Up Sulu (Mirror Mirror), and What Would William Shatner Do? This is the promo video for said album. And, if you can get past the two dudes in the heart-shaped tub, the music is actually pretty good. Unfortunately, it's hard to get past the two guys in the bathub, so skip to 0:20.
BWHAHAHAHA, did I say I say 0:20 -- I meant 0:45. Suckers!
Thanks to Ryan and Steve, who once pushed their bikes up the steepest hill they could find and then rode them down at Warp 12. And to Karl, the man in the tub himself.
May 8 2009 Brotherly Hate: Now With More Lightsaber!
This kid is pure evil -- just look at him. If evil were a Tetris level on Game Boy, this kid would be a 20. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be surprised if, in a few years, I heard he'd brought a lightsaber to school in his backpack.
Thanks to Romeo, who once broke his thumb shooting ping pong balls out of his mouth at his babysitter. Just kidding, that was me.
May 8 2009 Man Builds Scrap Massage Chair For Wife
Lin Shuseng, too cheap to buy his wife one of those $4 battery operated personal massagers (or one of the more expensive ones that looks like a wand that women use to, you know, stir the soup), decided instead to spend 8 years building her a scrap metal massage chair to soothe her painful joints (she suffered in the meantime). Wow, Lin, that's real love right there. Also, the chair from Saw. OMG YOU'RE GOING TO KILL HER!
Chinese retiree uses scrap to create steampunk robo-massage chair [dvice]
May 8 2009 Pillow Laptop: Working Never Felt So Zzzzz
This is a pillow that looks like a laptop. It's nonfunctional (as a computer, fully functional as a sleep aid), but soft. I don't even know if they're for sale, but let's be honest, you wouldn't buy one if they were. Oh you would? *yelling down to the basement* Say, it doesn't have to be sweatshop free, does it? Anyway, I think we can all agree this laptop brings new meaning to the phrase, "passing out on your laptop and puking into the keys and then it catching fire and torching your eyebrows off", doesn't it? Well I think it does.
This Is the Best Laptop in the World (Or At Least the Softest) [gizmodo]
Thanks to trishna87, who once fell asleep on a netbook and woke up in a web. Spiderman is an online predator.
May 8 2009 Computer Repairman Breaks Into Office, Steals Hard Drive, Charges To Fix It
Kevin Andrew Lutes (28, of 2121 Cypress Road, Bethlehem, PA) is probably the best computer repairman ever. EVER.
Lutes, who had fixed computers for Action Realty in the past, was called the day after the break-in to repair the broken computer's hard drive. He told the owner he could retrieve her lost data and files.
Meanwhile, the owner of the company called the computer manufacturer, who told her it was impossible to retrieve the data without the hard drive. Police then discovered Lutes' car, with a computer repair sticker on the door, was seen parked in front of the office on the night of the break-in.On Friday, Lutes brought the computer back with all the lost data and tried to charge the company $50 an hour for 40 hours of work.
Wow, $2,000 to return the computer you stole, that's just good business if you ask me. Get the Better Business Bureau on the phone, I think somebody in Bethlehem deserves a medal. It's baby Jesus!
Computer repairman charged with theft [morningcall]
Thanks to John and Reanda, a married couple who Geekologie together. Nice, guys, I like your style.
May 8 2009 Hustler Makes Star Trek Themed Adult Film
Star Trek porn is nothing new (SO I'VE HEARD) but Hustler is aiming to take the cake with their latest Star Trek themed adult video, 'This Ain't Star Trek XXX' (weak title). This is the trailer for the it, which drops May 12th. Feel free to watch it at work -- it doesn't show anything bad. Then hit the jump for a blooper outtake from the video, which is safe as well. So, what do you think -- summer blockbuster or summer nutbuster? I'm going with neither.
Hit it for the blooper.
Continue Reading " Hustler Makes Star Trek Themed Adult Film "
May 8 2009 Facebook Konami Code, Pirate Language
If you enter the Konami code (↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A ENTER -- don't do in a text box) after logging into Facebook you get a lens flare effect anytime you click, scroll or type anything. Good times. Unless you're epileptic, in which case, dangerous times. Also, if you scroll to the bottom of the page on the left where it has language selection, you can click on that and then choose 'English (Pirate)' to change Facebook to pirate talk. So yeah, pirate it up and then join the Geekologie Fan Page (if you haven't already) so we can all get together and hunt for treasure and shit. Also, I may send a couple of you L337 mateys on top secret missions (possibly with a liquor store involved). After all, you do want to appease the captain, don't you? NO? Then it's the plank for you, you barnacle loving scalawag! Oh, but be a doll and fetch me a grog first.
Thanks to Ian, Joemo, dboucher, matty, mark, Amanda and Liesel, who all sail under the colors of Geekologie.
May 7 2009 Good News: Disney Relocates Employees Normally Responsible For Finding And Deleting Boobs In Roller Coaster Pictures
You know how there's a camera that takes a picture of you on the steepest drop of a roller coaster? And then the park tries to peddle said photo after you get off the ride? Yeah, well Disney used to have boob-scanning personnel that would look at all the pictures before they appeared to patrons so no child would catch an eyeful. But now, thanks to the economy, not any more! So get out there and flaunt it! Boobs. I'm talking boobs, not penises.
And, since I love you, I included the NSFW NSFW NSFW uncensored version of the picture above after the jump.
May 7 2009 IT'S A TRAP!: The Admiral Ackbar Outtakes
This is a video of the outtakes from Admiral Ackbar's iconic "It's a trap!" scene from Return of the Jedi. As you'll see, they tested several different dialogue options before settling on the one in the movie. Most of the others involved an exchange similar to the following:
"Admiral, something hit me."
"IT'S A SLAP."
Pfft, I've already come up with like a million of these. Including, and virtually limited to, "Admiral, what's that smear?"
Thanks to Nick, who used to bullseye womprats on Tatooine.
May 7 2009 Spock: Upside Down And Looking Spool-y
Deborah Sperber made this rendering of everyone's favorite elf (sacrilege!), Spock, using 1,102 spools of colored thread. But to view Spock's visage properly, one must gaze into a crystal viewing ball while rubbing it and repeating "I love The Geekologie Writer" three times. Then, I will leap out of the piece, shirtless atop my snow-white unicorn. You will squeal with delight and rush towards me with open arms. Unfortunately, this will spook my mount, which will gore you upon its crystalline horn. I will not touch your dead boob.
Spock Spools [ibored]
Thanks to Mike, who knows quality romance when he reads it.
May 7 2009 Wow, That's Pretty Brutal: 8-Bit Fatalities
Flickr user tastypaints.com has a dream. A dream about what Mortal Kombat-style fatalities would look like in oldschool, 8-bit games. Nice, tastypaints (I'll keep him occupied, you call the nuthouse).
Before Mortal Kombat, violence in video games was largely unheard of or ignored because of its extreme pixelized simplicity. But when Liu Kang and Sub Zero came along to finish off arcade goers the world changed and parents were in an uproar (not mine though).
Just because you didn't see pac-man violently tearing into the ghosts with his jaws, or mario smashing in the brains of a goomba, thats what I knew was happening. I knew my goal was to kill these enemies, so Mortal Kombat wasn't a big change for me. And so, I decided to show everyone just what I imagined was happening when these little blocky, pixelized abstractions did when they came into contact with eachother, but in a much more visceral, and gory way than could ever be shown with limited graphical systems.
Interesting, tastypaints (are they on their way -- did you tell them to bring a straitjacket?). Hit the jump for two more, and then check out the Flickr gallery to see them all. Haha, they're here! Tastypaints you are going away for a long, long time you demented little -- NO NOT ME, HIM! WHAT IN THE....DAMN YOU, GEEKOLOGIE READER! Well played.
Hit it.
Continue Reading " Wow, That's Pretty Brutal: 8-Bit Fatalities "
May 7 2009 Duke Nukem Forever Is Not Happening :(
In news that should surprise no one, apparently Duke Nukem Forever, the much anticipated follow up title in development since 1997(!!!), is being scrapped. I guess that's what happens when you take 12 years to develop a game.
Game On just received a somewhat cryptic form-email from development studios Deep Silver and Apogee Entertainment (a legal alias for 3D Realms) stating, simply, that "Deep Silver and Apogee Software are not affected by the situation at 3D Realms" and that "Development on the Duke Nukem Trilogy is continuing as planned." No further details were offered, or reference made to what the "situation at 3D Realms" actually is.
The situation, I suspect, is pissing money into a game for 12 years and seeing no return. I mean, I'm not financial analyst or anything, but I do know I want to ring the bell at the NYSE someday.
Duke Nukem For-Never? 3D Realms Shutting Down [pcworld]
Thanks to JMR and Nathan, who remember Duke when he was just Duke Napalmem.
May 7 2009 FAKE: Shadow Chair's Shadows Are All Wrong
The $1,050 Shadow Chair may appear to defy the laws of decency, but it's actually not. IT'S A TRAP TRICK! SPOILER ALERT: The shadow is actually part of the chair's frame. HIYO -- I bet you didn't see that coming, did you? You did? Oh, well aren't you just the little Sherlock Geekologie Reader!? Well riddle me this then: if a train departs Washington DC traveling north at 60 MPH, and another one leaves NYC going south at 55 MPH, does anyone get groped on the subway in Japan? Probably -- and that's just wrong.
Hit the jump for a picture of the seat in action.
Continue Reading " FAKE: Shadow Chair's Shadows Are All Wrong "
May 7 2009 It's Math!: Snatch + Star Wars = Snatch Wars
NOTE: VIDEO IS SLIGHTLY NSFW DUE TO LANGUAGE. AND I SAY SLIGHTLY BECAUSE IT'S HARD TO MAKE OUT WHAT THE GUY IS EVER SAYING. WATCHING AT FULL VOLUME RECOMMENDED.
You may have seen this already because it came out in December, and if you have, you only have yourself to blame for not sending it to me earlier. I could have made you a star. But instead, Josh and Lewis are gobbling up all your internet fame. Ladies, Josh and Lewis. Josh and Lewis, ladies. See? Now these two are hanging out with a bunch of topless models by a pool ON THE MOON. Just sayin', I have power. But not water. It's all good though because I just turn on the neighbor's hose after he goes to sleep. And I mean that sexually as hell. Anyway, this is a video mashup of scenes from Star Wars with the audio from Snatch called Snatch Wars. Which, I'll admit, I felt was more than a little misleading.
Thanks Josh and Lewis, your topless models are in the mail. Gosh, I hope I remembered to poke breathing holes this time.
May 7 2009 Lose Weight, Somehow: The Boneless Belt
The Boneless Belt is a Japanese weight loss product that's supposed to help you shed the pounds. From the look of things, I'm gonna guess it's far less effective than exercise or tying a dry cleaning bag over your head. But hey, different strokes for different folks gullible idiots.
In effect, the structure of the rubber belt is a large mesh grid that splits the dieter's belly, side and back fat into easily manageable blobs. This allows for increased metabolic consumption of calories and raises the propensity for increased blood flow values. More blood flow = more heat = more burning of fat.
Wow, that was really convincing. And by really convincing I mean I want to pop that shit like a sheet of bubble wrap! *SNAP POP BANG*
Boneless Belt Separates Your Fat Into Small Segments, Shames You [gizmodo]
May 6 2009 Just What We Need: Robots On Facebook
That's right folks, Facebook, long considered one of humanity's last strongholds, is being breached by robots. Warning: under no circumstances should you accept a robot's friend request. And don't let them fool you with Superpokes and Virtual Drinks, THEY SHOULD BE CONSIDERED METALIZED AND DANGEROUS.
Researchers are giving a robot its own Facebook profile page to help foster meaningful relationships with people. The page will be populated with interactions the robot has with people as well as photos of the time it spends in human company.Its creators hope that embedding it in a social web will give rise to a sustainable friendship can grow up between man and machine.
Umm, how about NO THANKS. Now how in the hell are we supposed to tell friend from robotic foe? I swear, if I catch that robobastard trying to infiltrate the Geekologie Fan page, it is GAME OVER AND LIGHTS OUT. Then lights back on while I find my stuffed dinosaur. THEN LIGHTS OUT AGAIN AND A BUNCH OF GROANING AND RAWR!
Robot to create Facebook profile [bbcnews]
Thanks to ffffffffffffffffff, Aaron, Bilal, Gareth, Kim and Dylan "Free Sex!", who should totally take the 'What Disney Princess Are You' quiz that I just did. I'm Belle!
May 6 2009 Another Day, Another Star Wars Wedding
Duncan Thomson, 41, and Sammi Gardiner, 39, just got married on Star Wars Day in a Star Wars themed ceremony. And you know what they say about a couple that Star Warses together: they, uh, probably go to conventions and collect action figures?
During the wedding, Mr Thomson told his bride: "I promise to protect you from carbon freezing and promise to protect you from the Dark Side, through hyperspace and into the far reaches of the galaxy."
The couple had to remove certain Star Wars references from the 20-minute civil service because "Jedi" is a recognised religion, he added.The bride's ring was made out of meteorite found in Canyon Diablo in the US, engraved with: "May the 4th be with you."
The couple, from the Isle of Wight, even invited the movie's director George Lucas, who wrote back to them saying he was unable to attend.
Oh really, George was 'unable to attend', huh? Do you think he was really unable or just TOO BUSY BEING A GIANT DICK AND TURNING HIS BACK ON HIS FANS. *flicking George the bird* You see this, George -- this one's for you. Yeah, and this ain't no regular bird either -- that's a Millennium Falcon, bitch!
Star Wars inspires couple's bizarre sci-fi wedding [telegraph]
Thanks to Tiago, who plans to marry in a Geekologie-themed wedding. Nice, Tiago, but NO ROBOTS.
May 6 2009 Needs Work: First US Full-Face Transplant
46-year old Connie Culp was nearly killed when her deranged husband literally blasted her face off with a shotgun in 2004. But now, five years later, she has a new face thanks to a recently deceased organ donor (sign your cards!).
She endured 30 operations to try to fix her face. Doctors took parts of her ribs to make cheekbones and fashioned an upper jaw from one of her leg bones. She had countless skin grafts from her thighs. Still, she was left unable to eat solid food, breathe on her own, or smell.
Then, on Dec. 10, in a 22-hour operation, Dr. Maria Siemionow led a team of doctors who replaced 80 percent of Culp's face with bone, muscles, nerves, skin and blood vessels from another woman who had just died. It was the fourth face transplant in the world, though the others were not as extensive."Here I am, five years later. He did what he said -- I got me my nose," Culp said of Djohan, laughing.
I got me my nose, I got me my nose. My goodness what a heartwarming story. Uncensored picture is after the jump, and, not to be insensitive, but it is a little rough on the eyes. Kind of like a belt sander, but with lasers attached. Seriously though, great job, guys.
You have been warned, now hit it.
Continue Reading " Needs Work: First US Full-Face Transplant "
May 6 2009 Say Bye To Dromedary Digit!: The Cuchini
The Cuchini is a real product made by the two women in the picture (Kelly and Christy, NOT the camel-woman) and helps prevents undesired camel toe.
The Cuchini is a comfortable, light-weight material that adheres to any undergarment (panties, bikini, sports attire, etc). It smoothes the ridges of a woman's mons pubis area providing a smooth and camouflaged appearance. This eliminates what is commonly known as "Camel Toe."
The Cuchini sells in a pack of 2 for $15, but if you're cheap, you could probably just use a shoe horn. Personally, I don't see what's wrong with a little camel toe. Hell, or even some moose knuckle. But when you start talking mammoth knee, well....I like that too!
Thanks to Laylia and Elroy, who almost got spit on by a camel at the petting zoo. And to Where The Hell Is My Camera Charger?, whose parents must really hate him.
May 6 2009 My God That's Classy: The Redneck Tanktop
This picture, taken at what I assume was a NASCAR race, shows a redneck flaunting the latest in must-have summerwear, a, um, pair of underwear cut out to wear as a tank top. Unfortunately, there's no shot of what it looks like from the front, so we'll just have to use our imaginations. I'm imagining stained.
Ladies And Gentlemen - The Red Neck Tank Top [themovieblog]
Thanks to Dimi, who once wore a tube sock as a headband.
May 6 2009 OLD Hover Scooter Is OLD, From The '60's
The Hover Scooter may have made its debut in December, 1960, but that doesn't make it any less the vehicle I want to ride to work everyday. Also, if any of you ladies are interested in a lift I'll even mount a seat on the blower. And I'm not just saying that so I can make a 'If you can read this, my bitch got sucked into the intake' t-shirt, but, damnit you got me!
Hover Scooter [neatorama]
May 6 2009 Wait, What?: A Chocolate Powered Race Car
That's right, a team at Warwick University have developed a race car that's made out of vegetables and runs on chocolate. Of course, gumdrops and licorice sticks would have been cooler, but hey, you work with what you've got.
The racer isn't legal to race in the F3-series as chocolate-based fuels aren't on the approved list of energy sources, but that's not the point. The WorldFirst team is trying to prove green-racing doesn't have to mean boring-racing. They've used recycled materials in combination with fibers and extracts of fruits, vegetables and plants to create composites, materials and lubricants along the same vein as carbon fiber, plastics, and oil. It's based on the standard Lola chassis and despite the eco-friendliness, the car will still hit 145 MPH and corner like the real deal.
Well snap crackle pop! Plus, if you crash in the wilderness you can eat your car to survive. Double whammy! Now, here's your fun word fact for the day: race car is spelled the same forwards and backwards. It's a palindrome, just like "Wo! Nemo, Toss a Lasso to Me Now!" You know that joker Mr. Wizard that used to be on TV? Yeah, well I'm like his illegitimate cousin, Mr. Word Wizard. Except I don't invite neighborhood kids over to my house all the time BECAUSE THAT'S NOT HOW I ROLL.
WorldFirst ecoF3: A Chocolate-Powered Sustainable Race Car [jalopnik]
Thanks to Dr Freak, Thumperchica, Lisa, Stirling and James, who made a race car that was powered by dreams but crashed it when one of them had a nightmare.
May 6 2009 Reader Makes Periodic Table Of Superheroics
Geekologie Reader Mike took the time to make an awesome periodic table of superheroics. This is it. The picture is small though so click HERE to see the full, high-res version. Also, there's an alphabetical key provided after the jump, in case you can't figure out who some of them are. I dig it, Mike, but would it have killed you to include The Geekologie Writer for Ge? Just saying, one time I blogged from my roommate's closet while he had sex with his girlfriend and I screeched like a Pterodactyl the whole time. Does that make me the most super hero ever? Yes.
Hit the jump for the key.
Continue Reading " Reader Makes Periodic Table Of Superheroics "
May 5 2009 Superfailure Personal Ads: Consortium Of Evil Seeks Shadowhare's True Identity
That's right, "E" from the Cincinnati-based Consortium of Evil, put up a Craigslist ad seeking Shadowhare's true identity in order to put a stop to the do-gooder and his ragtag bag of spandex-laden friends. Plus, he's offering a hefty $10 reward. Which, even though I promised Shadowhare I wouldn't betray him, is too good to pass up. So, "E":
Shadowhare is -- are you sure you're ready for this? And I will get a $10 bill and not like 40 quarters, right? Okay, Shadowhare is -- can I get you a glass of water or something? No, I'm not stalling, of course I know who he is. I'm just trying to build suspense. Fine. Shadowhare is....a dork. BOOM -- Hamilton me, bitch!
Thanks to egleaves -- OR SHOULD I CALL YOU "E" FROM THE CONSORTIUM OF EVIL!?! egleaves? Okay.
May 5 2009 But Wait, There's More: Beer Pong Trick Shots
This is like 900 hours of beer pong trick shot footage cut down to 3:41. I'm sure most of you will hate it, but there will always be a soft spot in my heart for college-aged boys playing with their ba...ba...ba...buddies. Haha, you thought I was gonna say balls. I HAVE WHAT THEY CALL SELF CONTROL! Also, a Master's degree in Geekologie. mE=mcAwesome!
Thanks to Dave, who, for the tip, can play on my team at the weekly beer pong tournament at Orange Ball in Rockville, MD. Airfare not included, sorry buddy.
May 5 2009 We Are Not Alone: Alien Skull Spotted On Mars
That's right folks, we now have 100% conclusive evidence there are, in fact, dead aliens on Mars. Or rocks, possibly just rocks.
Internet forums are full of chatter about the picture, taken by a panoramic NASA camera known as Spirit.
One alien-spotter speculated: "The skull is 15 cm with binocular eyes 5 cm apart. The cranial capacity is approximately 1400 cc."There appears to be a narrow pointed small mouth, so this creature most likely is a carnivore."
Another joked: "The coronal ridge shows ample structure to support the musculature of antennae, although none are visible in this view.
Joke now, but it's all fun and games until you wake up with an antennae in your you-know-what. And by 'you-know-what' I mean your girlfriend -- she's gonna cheat on you with an alien. Hey, don't cry, film it.
'Alien skull' spotted on Mars [telegraph]
Thanks to Chuck Nunchuck and Julian, whose relationships with Martian lovers have all ended the same: with them getting the shaft. The cold, metal shaft.
May 5 2009 Sap Cap Is Actually A Weapon In Disguise
The Sap Cap is no ordinary headwear. Oh no, the baseball hat actually has a pocket of "unique impact material that is 110% the density of lead and will not rust" sewn into the back. Granted it's no Oddjob razor hat, but may do in a pinch (also: your clumsy ass would probably cut your own arm off with an Oddjob hat). Just remove the cap, hold by the brim, and proceed to brain your opponent. Now call me old fashioned, but I still prefer a sock full of quarters. Not only is it a lethal weapon, but you can also pay strangers' expired parking meters. But not too many! Lest you find yourself wielding an empty sock. Which, as I'm sure you all know, is only effective for beating yourself. BOOM SHACKA LACKA!
May 5 2009 Pfft, Who Needs Ears?: Pierced Glasses
Born without ears? Lose them in a samurai sword fight? Whatever the case, for those of you who have found yourself both aurally and ocularly challenged, you may want to consider pierced glasses. Pierced glasses are a pair of prescription eyeglasses that stay affixed to your ugly mug via a piercing through the nose. Pretty clever. Not as clever as just having Lasik surgery so you can shoot lasers out of your eyeballs, but hey, laser vision isn't for everyone. And, incidentally, neither are laser-wangs. Go ask The Superficial Writer why he's blind in one eye.
Pierced Eyeglasses [bmezine]
Thanks to Warfaremonkey, who wears a pierced hat and is now limited to the use of his animal brain like Phineas Gage.
May 5 2009 Guy Make Fully Functional Wolverine Claws
Not to be outdone by the Tomahawk Skull Gauntlet, some guy went and made his own fully functional Wolverine claws out of a bunch of copper tubing and sharp metal. They're surprisingly impressive and make pretty short work out of a cardboard box. Which, I think we can all agree, is humanity's real enemy. *SNIKT* Die, tree-zombie!
Hit the jump for a longer video of the assembly and dude giving them the ol' block of Styrofoam test (starting around 3:00).
Continue Reading " Guy Make Fully Functional Wolverine Claws "
May 5 2009 Spike Chair Is Ultra-Scary, Not Worth The Risk
You see that chair? Yeah, well imagine it with no glass seat and being lowered upon its spike with ropes. Did that just make your ass cry big brown tears of sadness? Because it should have. Known as the Judas Chair, the stool was used as a torture device back in the day (possibly by the Spanish Inquisition). Thank God we live in a tortureless society now, huh? Wait, what? Shit. :/
This take on the old classic was created by Russian designer Ton Guglya. Wow, I think I can safely say I'd rather stand. And this coming from a guy who once shared an overturned bar stool with three friends. Just sayin' -- reduce, reuse, recycle. Go green!
Stake Chair Makes My Delicate Parts Quiver in Terror [gizmodo]
May 5 2009 Hmm: Star Wars Weekends Advertisments
Star Wars Weekends are Star Wars themed weekends at Disney's Hollywood Studios theme park. Here at Geekologie we've already seen several examples of the perversion that goes on there. Well, these are the posters advertising Star Wars Weekends 2009, which, I think we can all agree, are in surprisingly poor taste. Look -- you see how that woman is clutching her purse? Racist.
Hit the jump for three more, all of which contain shocking discriminatory undertones.
May 4 2009 X-Rays Of Video Game Controllers & Consoles
Flickr user Reintji went and took a bunch of x-rays of video game consoles and controllers, from both today and yesteryear. And also, the future. Just kidding, no future. If time machines existed you'd know it because I'd be writing steamy romance novels about the time I banged a dinosaur but was left only partially satisfied because the third member of our ménage à trois got eaten by a Megalosaurus on the way to the party. So yeah, what I just said. Boom, great tie-in.
Hit the jump for a whole bunch more (use file names for identification) and a link to the full Flickr gallery.
Continue Reading " X-Rays Of Video Game Controllers & Consoles "
May 4 2009 Cool: Sampling Youtube To Make New Songs
What you are about to see is a mix of unrelated Youtube videos/clips editing together to create ThruYou. In other words - what you see is what you hear.
This is the first one of seven different tracks, so if you like it go check out the others. And if you don't, well, no one cares. But don't let that stop you from leaving a Geekologie comment complaining about it. We'll all pretend to care and/or believe you could do better, won't we guys? Guys? Ha, I guess we won't. Suck it!
Thanks to Riki, Amir and Patrick, who once sampled over 100 different candies in one day and all got tummy aches.
May 4 2009 Steampunk 'Massager' Really Steam Powered
This steampunk vibrator was created by metal worker Ani Niow and really works, provided you don't mind melting your hand off to pleasure yourself (I came close once after a 14 hour marathon).
While it technically does run off steam, Niow cautions you'll need to wear insulated welding gloves to handle it without getting burned. This is why she's temporarily using compressed air for now.
If she can secure a smaller portable boiler she'll give the thing a run at full power, as was intended.
Good looking, Ani, I like a hint of danger in my sex life. Reminds me of the time I used a live crocodile for a condom.
Fully Functional Steampunk Vibrator Might Scald Your Privates [gizmodo]
Thanks to Julian, who tried dating a toaster but ended up getting burned.
May 4 2009 Uh-Oh: A New 'Zombie' Strain Of Swine Flu
The BBC is reporting a new 'zombie' (H1Z1) strain of swine flu that is capable of resuscitating the recently dead. Holy sawed-off shotgun shit!
After death, this virus is able to restart the heart of it's victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believe to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during "resurrection."
If you haven't guessed, this is fake as hell, but the story looks like a genuine BBC article (see picture). The only catch is it's hosted on another website (bounce.with.me.uk). Still, you can probably trick at least a few of your dumber friends into buying it. And, if they do fall for it (and they are ladies), I want you to convey a message for me: I'm the world's greatest lover.
EU quarantines London in flu panic [bouncwith]
Thanks to herbert, Trin, Alex 'Bloody Shadow' and andrew, who tricked all their friends into drinking the Kool-Aid and are now all friendless.
May 4 2009 Chuck E. Cheese Gropes Woman's Bosom?
Don't even bother asking what sort of Photoshop trickery I used to make that mirror image, because I won't tell you. Suffice it to say, it was some seriously L337 shit.
Allegedly, an employee dressed as Chuck E. Cheese (now to be known as Chuck E. Copafeel) grabbed some woman's breast in an incident that occurred last August at the restaurant and play palace of the same name (Chuck E. Cheese, not 'some woman's breast'). The picture is of the incident.
"He looked at her, reached out, grabbed her breast and moved along," said Mark Potashnick, Sorbello's attorney. "Her jaw dropped in shock and disgust."
Her stepfather captured in incident in a photo but didn't know it until after they reviewed the pictures, the lawyer said.Sorbello accuses Thigpen and the restaurant of assault, battery and discrimination in public accommodation. She's asking for unspecified compensation, including punitive damages and attorney's costs.
Assault and battery? I dunno, I'm a little suspect it's taken 9 months to file suit. And that the picture shows what I would describe as a 'shoulder pat fail'. Or, that it just so happens we're in the middle of a recession. Now I'm not trying to discredit Sorbello's claims, I'm just saying, hey, at least it wasn't a kid.
Also, if anybody comes across a higher res version of the picture, hit me with it -- I'll let you touch my butt.
Chuck E Cheese character groped breast, suit says [stltoday]
Thanks to Matthew and Cougar78, who practically wrote the post for me. Thanks guys!
May 4 2009 These Beats Are Fresh!: Slap Chop Remix
This is music-video remix of Vince "bitch, that's my tongue" Shlomi's famous Slap Chop commercial. It drove me crazy and I was this close to jamming a butter knife into a wall outlet. But, I must admit, whoever made it did do a good editing job. So, whoever you are, my hat's off to you. But my pants -- well, I'm saving those for you, ma'am.*
*Meet me in the back of the bus.
Youtube
via
Slap Chop Remix Breathes New Life Into Worthless Gadget, Vince's Career? [gizmodo]
Thanks to Julian and Noah, who once slap chopped a bunch of ninjas in the face and made them cry throwing stars. True story.
May 4 2009 Tattooed Barbie: You're No Daughter Of Mine!
Mattel's new 'Totally Stylin' Barbie doll comes with a bunch of sticker tattoos you can apply all over her forehead and neck to make her look way more totally stylin'. Make her a little R2-D2 backpack and that is one fine piece of plastic ass (note to self: verify Barbie's age before using this). Plus, the doll comes with a fake tattoo gun and ink tattoos so your daughters (and sons) can apply tattoos to themselves! Shockingly, some parents aren't cool with the idea.
Barbie-maker Mattel has said the tattooed Barbie provides a way for kids to "be creative" with the doll. Some parents, naturally, see it differently, suggesting that a "Totally Pierced Barbie" or a "Divorce Barbie" could come next.
As for the tattooed Barbie, Mattel says it's selling better than expected and there are no plans to pull it from the product lineup.
Personally, I don't care, but that may just be because I don't have any daughters. No, I'm the proud father of three very handsome boys (woman always on top). Just kidding. But now that you know how they're made, ladies?
Tattooed Barbie Stirs Up Controversy [inquisitr]
and
Amazon Product Page
Thanks to Steven, whose daughters are only allowed to play with G.I. Joe's.
May 4 2009 Stylin' And Profilin': An R2-D2 Backpack
Well folks, today is Star Wars Day. What in the hell is Star Wars Day?
May 4 is called Star Wars Day because of a pun or play on words based on the similarity between "May the 4th be with you" and "May the force be with you", a phrase often spoken in the Star Wars movies.
Nice, Star Wars Day and then Cinco de Mayo, l feel a bender coming on. Also, possibly swine flu. But before I start pounding the brewhahas, here's a $65 R2-D2 bookbag. I want one, but they're currently sold out. So yeah, that's kind of putting a damper on my Star Wars Day festivities. But not for long because I just took like four doses of glitterstim spice! You feel that? I'm probing your mind. Aaaaaaaand now I'm wishing I hadn't.
Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a link to the product page.
Continue Reading " Stylin' And Profilin': An R2-D2 Backpack "
May 3 2009 Zombie Defense Training For Little Kids
This is a video of some little Japanese kids being trained to fight zombies. And let me tell you -- they are cute as little buttons. Remember folks, teach your kids how to properly protect themselves against attacks from the undead. Because otherwise you're gonna have to explain to your parents how a zombie ate their grandchild. And they will be pissed.
Thanks to Shun, whose children are all comfortable wielding sawed-off shotguns.
May 3 2009 Sure: Art Student Paints Car To Be Invisible
University of Lancashire art student Sara Watson painted an old Skoda Fabia to appear invisible when looked at from just the right angle. This happens to be the right angle. If you were standing next to it it would just look like a spraypainted piece of shit. Still, good looking, Sara. You, not the car. Let's do it.
Hit the jump for one more picture.
Continue Reading " Sure: Art Student Paints Car To Be Invisible "
May 3 2009 Dinosaur 'Blood' Extracted From Fossils
And I couldn't be happier. I'm gonna be Jurassic Parking it before you can say, "Geekologie Writer, are you sure you want to go into the raptor pen?" To which I will reply, "oh I'm sure. I'm sure".
A dinosaur bone buried for 80 million years has yielded a mix of proteins and microstructures resembling cells.
[Scientists] report recovering not just collagen - which conveys little evolutionary information because it is the same in almost all animals - but also haemoglobin, elastin and laminin, as well as cell-like structures resembling blood and bone cells. The proteins should reveal more about dinosaur evolution because they vary much more between species.
Haemoglobin baby! This particular fossil came from a hadrosaurid (duck-billed dinosaur), so I guess I'm boning them first. But hopefully they'll be able to score some blood from one of those flying bastards. 65 million years in the making, The Geekologie Writer joins the mile-high club.
First dino 'blood' extracted from ancient bone [newscientist]
Thanks to b00geyman, who better not be hiding under my bed tonight. And to Zmann966 and trishna87, who are celebrating an anniversary today. Happy anniversary guys!
