Apr 2 2009Why Didn't I Think Of That?: Bacon Lube
That's right folks, bacon lube. Goes perfect when your lady (or man) is wearing a bacon bra and you're scarfing a meat-ship in bed (double entendre, count it!). Ah, heaven.
As many of you know, we're huge bacon lovers here at J&D's. We now make Bacon Salt, Baconnaise and Bacon Lip Balm. That last one seemed like a stretch at first, but now that bacon has successfully made the jump from food to personal care, we're pushing it even further.
With that said, we're happy to introduce our newest product, baconlube™. It's not for sale yet, but we're looking for early product testers to put our "Everything should taste like bacon" tagline to the test. Please email us at keepitsizzlin@baconsalt.com to get on our beta tester list.
My God that sounds delicious. From fish to bacon in just a few drops. I'm really hoping this wasn't an April Fools joke either, because that would just be cruel. I went ahead and added myself to the beta tester list and haven't gotten an email back yet calling me an idiot, so that's a good sign. Now, ladies, what do you say: me, you, some Baconlube? Haha, did I just describe your wildest fantasy? Well tell me -- in your fantasy did you make me a BLT afterwards? Because that's a must.
Product Site
Thanks to Erik, bob, Julian, Lyles and Joseph, who pre-ordered a case and are gonna try to raise money for more bacon with a baconlube bikini wrestling exhibition.
Reader Comments
1. 24bit-whore - April 2, 2009 1:21 PM
AHH I LOVE IT
2. naas - April 2, 2009 1:23 PM
If I already haven't annoyed the wifey to death with every other bacon post I share with her on this website, this one will definitely be the one to get my ass kicked out of the house
3. Madgame - April 2, 2009 1:24 PM
This is a considerate product since it will be tasty for her as she sucks it clean.
4. Tonto - April 2, 2009 1:26 PM
This is obviously a joke. They used ASTROGLIDE bottle and 'shopped the rest.
:rolling eyes:
5. HunnyBear - April 2, 2009 1:29 PM
joke or not i hope it gets the ball rolling on the production of the real thing..cuz i want it NOW!
6. naas - April 2, 2009 1:29 PM
@4 true but I'm still sharin it
7. Dan - April 2, 2009 1:31 PM
Thats not the sort of thing I would want to try out with my girlfriend :L
"Hey why dont we try something new, I have bacon lube and everything"
:L
8. bilbo.douchebaggins - April 2, 2009 1:39 PM
@7 You would try if your girlfriend was Baja from that movie Never Back Down and she would take it all the way!1
9. Dan - April 2, 2009 1:43 PM
@8 But my girlfriend is not Baja for that movie Never Back Down so I shall not :L
10. cthulhulovesyou23 - April 2, 2009 1:45 PM
@4 Killjoy!!
11. V - April 2, 2009 1:46 PM
Man, I hope this is a real thing and they just stole the design from Astroglide. If not then it's a sad day for us all.
12. catch22 - April 2, 2009 1:49 PM
the drawback is bacon is more appealing to the male of our species, if the chick needs lube...your not doing it right.... if the lube is for you...who exactly is the bacon flavor for?
13. pussy - April 2, 2009 2:00 PM
some chicks like bacon...and the saying goes you are what you eat...however i wouldnt put food flavored anything on my wang as such girls would bite it off then proceed to finish the bucket of KFC garnished with a rack of ribs... fat girls however greatful shouldnt be trusted to have anything you dont want to lose in their mouth...
...ill hold out for the salad dressing flavored... or stick to the bottle of choco syrup
...on a related note the chocolate icecream shell stuff is not as fun as one would think
14. scurl - April 2, 2009 2:05 PM
this reminds me of the time i tried to pitch some woo at a plate of freshly cooked bacon, and got 2nd degree burns all over my knackwurst for my troubles. Luckily I had to apply generous amount of some salve for a few weeks afterwards, or else the whole experience wouldn't have been worth it.
i admit it, i also emailed them asking to be a beta tester. what could i lose? besides, i can think of few things hotter than two fat pasty jiggling bodies sweating and wheezing together in a room that smells heavily of bacon and dissatisfaction.
15. dubba - April 2, 2009 2:08 PM
anyone else thinking 91/2 weeks
...or at least hot shots
16. Pew³ - April 2, 2009 2:08 PM
Does the smell intesify as it heats up?
Do I need to flip it after ten minutes on one side?
If I volunteer do they only supply the lube?
Pew Pew Pew!!!
17. scurl - April 2, 2009 2:08 PM
also, @12 "if the chick needs lube...your not doing it right"
well, i guess that all depends on what you're doing, doesn't it?
18. LSDiesel - April 2, 2009 2:11 PM
heh heh, bacon lube for your sausage....
19. meadow - April 2, 2009 2:12 PM
I'm a girl and I love bacon, I may not eat it all the time like some men I know but I do have bacon cravings from time to time. This product would just combine that craving with other cravings ;)
20. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - April 2, 2009 2:13 PM
Pussy = good
Bacon = good
Bacon Flavored Pussy = *HORF*
@17 Bacon Butt Secks!
21. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - April 2, 2009 2:15 PM
"I woke up this mornig with the WORST case of bacon butt I've ever had."
22. Daisy - April 2, 2009 2:20 PM
FAKE!!!!
Thisi s a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never BAck Down where Max was mad at Baja's dad for almost putting Max's mom into the wood chipper, as if she was a common prostitute. So Max squirted Bacon lube on him and sicced a bunch of rabid dogs on him. The lube helped Baja's dad escape however, because he fell down a hill and slid faster than the dogs could chase him.
23. 24bit-whore - April 2, 2009 2:54 PM
'...because he slid faster than the dogs could chase him'. Hahaha!
24. the black penny - April 2, 2009 2:55 PM
?
thats nasty
aprill fools?
no?
oh gross
well hope it sells(that sorta thing normally does)
why not summin nice like ice cream or mellows?
oh they do
an u dont have to feel like a pervert buying it at a sex shop?
zizzle
25. Ollie Williams - April 2, 2009 3:03 PM
@24
You are hereby banned from the Geekologie comments section for using "summin" and "mellows". Go back to the AOL chat rooms where you came from.
26. GeoGal - April 2, 2009 3:23 PM
In my wildest fantasies your eating the BLT during.
27. Ladybird - April 2, 2009 3:29 PM
ewie. the "fish to bacon in a drop" comment got under my skin. Jaw dropped and everything. yikes.
28. scurl - April 2, 2009 6:50 PM
@21 LMFAO
@27 bacon and fish are a great combo.
29. Ollie Williams - April 2, 2009 6:58 PM
@21
Same here. Next time you stop by for some late night buttsex, lock the door on the way out.
30. David Hill - April 2, 2009 7:28 PM
Goes perfect with BaconCat!!!
http://www.scalzi.com/whatever/004998.html
31. Sadelis - April 2, 2009 8:24 PM
meh look further than failblog.
32. Dollie Williams - April 2, 2009 8:37 PM
@25 & 29: I regularly take your mother from bacon to fish with just a few drops. And I also lock the door behind her.
33. nR - April 3, 2009 2:14 AM
brings whole new meaning to getting porked
34. lee harless - April 3, 2009 3:45 AM
first
35. fulllovegirl - April 3, 2009 4:48 AM
#3 My friend told a me a hot dating place …..seekbi.com…..where you have the opportunity dreaming about dating a millionaire or hot girl ,supermodels and so on.First i can’t believe,then i sign up there. i really got many friends including celebrities.it’s so exciting.Happy life is up to U!!!!^^
36. Kitty - April 3, 2009 7:46 AM
One night of bacon sex, three months of a yeast infection. Go go gadget thisshitsucks.
37. Ing - April 3, 2009 9:47 AM
CALLING ALL VIRGINS - girls dont smell like fish
... and if they do ... well, helloooo clinic!
38. Ollie Williams - April 3, 2009 10:12 AM
@32
Mom? What are you doing on Geekologie?
39. Denver - April 3, 2009 3:07 PM
Yo, this is sweet!!! I've been using similar stuff, but it's a lot of work, and if they're just selling it straight up -- I definitely want in.
Check out what I've been using in the meantime:
http://decentcommunity.org/2008/05/15/making-love-with-the-help-of-gigantic-vats-of-grease/
40. andrew.com - May 25, 2009 7:09 PM
hahahah thats so great!!
41. andrew.com - May 25, 2009 7:30 PM
hahahah thats so great!!
42. JAB_au - June 9, 2009 6:12 AM
Because everything tastes better with Bacon.
43. Laforest - June 11, 2009 3:12 PM
Is this for fat chicks?
44. woof - June 11, 2009 4:47 PM
just beware of the dogs.............
45. zer0nix - July 1, 2009 11:20 AM
i would seriously lick that off a woman's ass.
there you have it gentlemen, a lube that enables ass licking. i don't think i need to say more.
make this and sell it here, NOW.
46. Doc - July 13, 2009 4:46 PM
The company that made this did in fact state that it was an april fools joke.
...but, they received so many emails of people willing to test this product that they are in fact considering an attempt at making it for real. My girlfriend for one is eagerly awaiting an actual release of this strangely enough...
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