Apr 6 2009I Like The Sound Of That: Huffable Chocolate
Normally I'm an airplane glue kind of guy, but hey, chocolate could be good. Good mixed with airplane glue! That's what I'm talkin' about -- double fist style! Anyway, Le Whif breathable chocolates are supposed to give you the same sensations as eating chocolate, but probably nowhere near as good. An analogy: Breathable chocolate:chocolate::porn:sex. With both breathable chocolate and porn you get no ass! ZA-ZA-ZA-ZING!
Over the centuries we've been eating smaller and smaller quantities at shorter and shorter intervals," says (David) Edwards who, coincidentally (yeah, right) has a new novel out at the same time. It seemed to us that eating was tending toward breathing, so, with a mix of culinary art and aerosol science, we've helped move eating habits to their logical conclusion. We call it whiffing.
No, we call it huffing, Dave. Whiffing is when you try to punch somebody and miss. If you're interested, Le Whif huffgun shells are available in chocolate, mint chocolate, chocolate raspberry and chocolate mango and sell for about $4 a pop. No word on how much huff you get out of a single canister, but if I had to guess, I'd say one...two...three... *CRUNCH* three.
Hit the jump for a video of some bicycle-seat whiffing in action.
Breathable chocolate gives you pleasure without the calories [dvice]
Reader Comments
1. naas - April 6, 2009 2:30 PM
yummy
2. F@CKU - April 6, 2009 2:31 PM
FIRST!
I'd like to thank the academy. And f&ck you.
3. F@CKU - April 6, 2009 2:32 PM
@Nass You sick f*ck. You must spend all your f9cking time on this site. Seriously, from the bottom of my heart, DIE IN A FIRE.
GET A LIFE!!!!
4. Quik - April 6, 2009 2:33 PM
Is there a sugar-free version?
5. naas - April 6, 2009 2:43 PM
firstard megafailure = firstard frustration
6. catch22 - April 6, 2009 2:48 PM
this is flat out retarded...
...at least they resemble shotgun shells...cause anyone who buys this really should consider sucking a shotgun
7. dubba - April 6, 2009 2:50 PM
naas = first line of defense against firstardation
8. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - April 6, 2009 2:51 PM
@3
Taylor?
9. you know who - April 6, 2009 2:52 PM
lol dont worry i still like you naas dont know who you are but i have seen you post some funny crap funny how people get bent out of shape over 1st , waaa waaa waaa
regardless if the post sucks today,
I will make up for the lack of good posting.
check this out oddee.com
10. paineel - April 6, 2009 2:53 PM
http://oddee.com/item_96628.aspx
lol this is the best one
11. ralphwiggum - April 6, 2009 2:54 PM
this asshat insists that we are evolving into a society of filter feeders? we are devolving into sponges??? what a douche
12. firstbottledwater... - April 6, 2009 2:56 PM
@6 i agree that anyone willing to pay $4 for flavored air needs to be shot in the face
13. scroob - April 6, 2009 2:58 PM
@12... like "perri-air" in spaceballs?
14. naas - April 6, 2009 3:03 PM
indeed :)
15. WHO DEY - April 6, 2009 3:07 PM
@ 2 SALTY hahahaha good work naas you p1ssed that newb off hard core.
16. Timbo - April 6, 2009 3:58 PM
@2,3 HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHHHHAAAHHHAAHHHHHEEEHEHEEHEHEHEHAHAAHAAHHOHOHOHAAHA!!!
...that's funny
17. Wut - April 6, 2009 6:54 PM
@12 no, they need to be kept alive as long as possible so you can bilk them out of their money obviously
18. Melissa - April 6, 2009 10:05 PM
I have seen this before, in Latin America. It was a bad idea back then, and it still is a bad idea now.
19. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - April 6, 2009 11:37 PM
This should spray vinegar. Anyone to the point of HUFFING chocolate, could use some vinegar horfiness.
20. naas - April 7, 2009 1:21 AM
Thumper, now that's just gross
21. Daisy - April 7, 2009 7:01 AM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max went to a baltimore orioles game, and said more than once - Aubrey is a girl's name.
22. BlackNumenorean - April 7, 2009 7:30 AM
David Edwards is clearly a thinker of extreme power: "It seemed to us that eating was tending towards breathing...we've helped move eating habits towards their logical conclusion".
What a nob-end. You need both oxygen and calories to live. Chocolate flavoured air won't produce both. Let's hold Mr Edwards' head under the sea and say "this water contains oxygen and food. I'm just helping you move your breathing habits towards their logical conclusion!"
Then we can laugh. Bitterly.
23. jti motha-B - April 7, 2009 12:14 PM
http://chad-nelson.com/
Don't F with me - or i will overload it!
24. SiGee - April 7, 2009 3:57 PM
@23
ur site sucks!
25. Mike Hawk - April 7, 2009 8:46 PM
sweet, now if they could only do the same thing with drugs. Or my ass. Whiff my ass, whiff your moms ass, whiff a friends ass...or one that smells like gym schweaty balls, whiffle balls...Daisy would whiff em.
26. Kay - April 15, 2009 5:06 AM
Forgive my nickpicky perfectionistic ways, but I believe that tootsie-pop commercial went more like this: "A-one...a-two-hoooo...a-three... :CRACK: A-three."
27. Krystina - May 14, 2009 11:01 AM
Don't they tell you not to huff? If it's chocolate does that make it okay? Does it really taste like chocolate?