Apr 19 2009Fail: How Not To Get Your Wife Pregnant

I'm filing this one under awesome. Awesomely sad. Some guy paid his neighbor $2,500 to have sex with his wife 72 times in an attempt to get her pregnant. But it didn't work! Read the whole article to find out what happened, and trust me -- it'll make you feel good about your own life. Unless your kids look suspiciously like the Fed-Ex guy, in which case, hey, I'm sure it's just coincidence. BWAH AHHAHAHA! Coincidence. BWAHAHAHA!
Paid to do it 72 times [just-whatever]
Thanks to Josh, who once got an entire women's swim team pregnant just by tipping his toe in the pool.
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Thief Uses Head As Battering Ram, Fails (04/06/2009)

Reader Comments
1. hawt pawkets - April 19, 2009 1:41 PM
last
2. mike - April 19, 2009 1:46 PM
muhaha number two!
3. Doug the McDoug - April 19, 2009 1:51 PM
Omg that is EPIC
4. zetterlund - April 19, 2009 1:56 PM
f1rst
5. Anon - April 19, 2009 2:04 PM
The second guy should be suing his wife for cheating on him and lying about the parentage of those children.
What a whore.
At least he wasn't 11.
6. lol - April 19, 2009 2:07 PM
He did it for great justice while his wife did it for the lulz
7. ref - April 19, 2009 2:09 PM
it is of course a fake but yeah...
8. Jim - April 19, 2009 2:24 PM
This news is older than my Great Granddaddies buck-skin rubber!
I read this at least a month ago.
News is supposed to be NEW, that's why it is called NEWs!!!
Fuc|<ing retards run this place.
9. Random - April 19, 2009 2:54 PM
Paid $2,500 to have sex with a late 20's former beauty queen 72 times? Does anyone else feel like they've been cheated in life?
10. lynz - April 19, 2009 3:02 PM
Wow people are fvcked up. There' s so... so many things wrong with this story it's not even funny.
I mean seriously cheating galore. I know they had permission, but come on your partner is YOURS and sex should only be between you two. This is disgusting. Have they never heard of going to a doctor and getting it done that way? Why the fvck would you pay your neighbor 2k to fvck your wife...
If this isn't fake, I've lost all hope in people.
Geekologie... there's two ways you can monitor the language on this site. Give people a warning on the banner, or let only registered users see comments.
11. lolz - April 19, 2009 3:13 PM
why is the language being monitored on this site now? GW this is your site you don't have to listen to little b1tches who can't take a bad word
12. Joshua Göhmer - April 19, 2009 3:50 PM
Awesome,
Thanks GW
13. Daisy... NOT(but i like her way of thinking) - April 19, 2009 4:11 PM
Photoshopped! It's obvious that it looks like leter sent by Grimes in Black Hawk Dawn near gas station. Also this news was in a newspaper read by Sanderson when he was in the bus.
14. zetterlund - April 19, 2009 4:19 PM
@ 8
love it! keep the fire going babe
hugs & kisses
15. tbizzle(thomas fancy hahahaha) - April 19, 2009 4:22 PM
We got a new vid. check it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfyzajqVcjw
16. Cade - April 19, 2009 4:31 PM
That's awesome. I'd do it. Who says you can't mix pleasure and business?
#15 -- WTF?
17. Turtizzle - April 19, 2009 4:39 PM
damnnnn Mr. bizzle.
at first i was all like wtf homeboi, then i was naked.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfyzajqVcjw
18. JJtoob - April 19, 2009 4:54 PM
GW: you don't work for FedEx right? right?
19. dbs - April 19, 2009 5:12 PM
That seems pretty fake. The names alone are very suspicious and I think I read the same story a few years ago.
20. Rhialto - April 19, 2009 5:27 PM
It's hard to say who the winner or loser is.I haven't seen the photos of these people yet.
21. Penguin - April 19, 2009 6:14 PM
Headline: OLO
First couple paragraphs: OLOLOL
Ending: ROFLOLOLOL
22. Sam - April 19, 2009 6:29 PM
.............and I would like £50,000 for 10% of my business
23. Antmattmn - April 19, 2009 6:38 PM
ha ha ha that is too funny....what idiots -.-
24. Antmattmn - April 19, 2009 6:41 PM
@8 and 14...why are you reading it and commenting about it if you've read it before?? And if you don't like the site and who runs it....why are you here?????
Just curious
Oh and you suck-
25. Rossco - April 19, 2009 8:08 PM
"Florida or Germany?" anyone? Haha
26. Stan-X - April 19, 2009 9:01 PM
lolololololololol the irony is priceless
27. DeeplyTroubled - April 19, 2009 10:47 PM
I think I smell Lifetime movie of the week...! Plus, for some reason this story really turns me on - I may have a latent cuckold fetish.
28. dude - April 19, 2009 11:26 PM
First its that British kid who found out he wasn't the 13 year old father of his supposed daughter and now this.....those Europeans!
29. Watch - April 20, 2009 2:59 AM
this is screwed up! also, @ 10 STOP TRYING TO CENSOR US!!!
30. ME - April 20, 2009 8:51 AM
WTF!! I'd do it for free!!!
31. Jeff W. - April 20, 2009 11:09 AM
I love reading about the problems of stupid people.
32. Dr. Gonja - April 20, 2009 3:33 PM
WOW. EPIC LIFE FAIL!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA
33. Sly - April 20, 2009 5:20 PM
So, let me get this straight... dude got paid $2k AND he got to bang a beauty queen? Sounds like an epic win to me.
34. Jess - April 21, 2009 2:33 AM
Where do they live that two neighbors would BOTH be sterile? I think they need to test their water supply...
35. eating the bean - April 21, 2009 6:32 AM
I guess my life is slightly better than his, oh wait, #10 shut it, you fool. lose faith in people now cause then you can say i always new you'd f it up, when they ruin your life. jebus face is burned in my tv. so i crucified it and i cant play my video games now......saddened
36. wow power leveling - April 21, 2009 9:16 PM
what can i do for you
37. Brittney - May 8, 2009 6:41 PM
DAMN! lucky guy.
Traute didnt end up getting pregnant, so maybe she should ask for the number of the ACTUAL father of the children :P
btw, the reason they paid the neighbour is because:
1. her husband doesnt have ANY sperm, so IVF wouldnt work anyway
2. they wanted a child that look like the husband, and apparently the neighbour looked like the husband.
Does that clear everything up for everyone?
......retards
38. Cassio - May 19, 2009 6:07 PM
hahahahaha... as noticias giram o mundo mto rapido...
estou no brasil e estou sabendo... CORNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
39. Cristiano - May 20, 2009 1:44 PM
hauhauhauahuahauaha...que merdaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...achou que tinha saido ganhando comendo a mulher do vizinho...e no fim se ferrouuuuuuuuu...hauhuhauahuahauhauaha...
40. i'm not sayin - June 13, 2009 7:39 PM
.........no comment.....
41. daisy - June 13, 2009 7:40 PM
nope.....not even gonna touch it