Apr 6 2009Creep Factor 12: Learning Robot Child
What is this, an entry in the world's creepiest robot competition? Shockingly not. It's 'Child-robot with Biomimetic Body' (CB2), a learning robot and harbinger of death. Just look into those eyes -- can you feel him stabbing you in your sleep? I can, and it burns. You see, he's using a laser knife. Technology: robots have it.
As you might expect, the bot hasn't simply spent its past two years of existence terrifying the staff at Osaka University, it's actually been learning, and it's now apparently able to make use of its 51 air-powered motors to move itself through a room "quite smoothly" -- with a helping hand, of course. What's more, the researchers behind CB2 are now also starting to talk about some of their future projects, including a new "robo species" that they say will have learning abilities "somewhere between those of a human and other primate species such as the chimpanzee."
Osaka, Osaka, Osaka, when will you learn? I say cut the robotics and actually make a positive contribution to humanity instead of trying to destroy us. Need some ideas for areas of study? Good, I happen to have a list: 1. cloning dinosaurs 2. cloning the things that came after dinosaurs but weren't dinosaurs but were still really sexy, like woolly mammoths and shit. 3. a shrinking ray.
Well, I think you've got your work cut out for you, now get cracking. Also, I'd be happy to intern if you ever successfully clone anything. No, really, I insist.
CB2 "Child Robot" returns: smarter, creepier than ever [engadget]
Thanks to Julian, Paul, Crystal, Spoonman and Soop, who thought the robot was cute and are therefore dead to me.
Reader Comments
1. Boogie - April 6, 2009 10:25 AM
FRIST!!!!!!111!!!!!1!!!1!1 in your face, second and 3rd!
2. Steph - April 6, 2009 10:28 AM
Second I love u Miko!!!!
3. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - April 6, 2009 10:29 AM
I think I figured out this GW's M.O.
1) Dino Fücking
2) Tokyo Flash
3) Robo-phobia
4) Bacon
5) Cakes
6) The Lamest Shit On The Web Condensed Into One Blog
7) Bad Jokes
There you have it. Every post this week will be able to fit into one of these 7 pigeon holes. Enjoy.
4. Dr.Freak - April 6, 2009 10:32 AM
Run! It's got teh crazy eyes & it's lookin at me! ARRRGH!
5. softlicious - April 6, 2009 10:34 AM
Actually I think this could be quite usefull, maybe not right this robot, but robots can do work that otherwise cost lots of money to perform. If they were able to make a cleaning lady robot then cleaning would become cheaper.
6. naas - April 6, 2009 10:35 AM
@1 http://www.branaghcompendium.com/tummya.jpg
Shum, I'd hope bacon would be higher on that list of importance but definitely not above dinofücking
7. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - April 6, 2009 10:40 AM
naas
It's not in any real order anyway. You can make bacon number 2 if you so please.
8. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - April 6, 2009 10:45 AM
Why give a child robot Down's Syndrome?
9. naas - April 6, 2009 10:46 AM
Ok Shum, deal.... No question about #1 though, definitely dinofücking
10. naas - April 6, 2009 10:54 AM
Hrm just a thought as I stare into this things eyes - I'm leaving for Tokyo in 2 days, and I can assure all of you that I expect to see several robots while in Japan however I will run away screaming if I see this one
11. Rhialto - April 6, 2009 10:54 AM
Can i adopt this Robot Child?
12. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - April 6, 2009 10:55 AM
and WTF is up with the new pop up ads? That's really, really, really, irritating.
13. sirrix - April 6, 2009 10:57 AM
@11: No. Madonna's got dibs.
14. 24bit-whore - April 6, 2009 11:00 AM
There's drool & a caption missing above it's head that reads "can haz more brainz?'
15. Darth - April 6, 2009 11:05 AM
@13 We will be good for this Robot Child.We'll give him his daily 240V.
16. catch22 - April 6, 2009 11:06 AM
creepy: yes
evil: yes
child's play anyone?
17. Timbo - April 6, 2009 11:16 AM
It's a robot Chucky!
18. Leonidas - April 6, 2009 11:40 AM
@8: Down's syndrome kids are always pretty "wired," I guess that's why.
19. Michael - April 6, 2009 12:21 PM
Kill it. Kill it with fire.
The portion of the video when it begins flailing its floppy limbs about haunts my waking thoughts.
@3 -- Your post definitely falls into #6. It works!
20. Watch - April 6, 2009 12:23 PM
@ 3 you forgot one thing, GW doesnt write his own stories, he just posts links from other sites that break the news first, he just gives us second hand news
21. Vinss - April 6, 2009 12:44 PM
Too late for the dino-cloning.
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20090327.wevodevo28/BNStory/Science/home
22. truk - April 6, 2009 12:51 PM
looks lika a baby storm trooper.
"I am the droid we're looking for"
23. Spikey DaPikey - April 6, 2009 1:08 PM
ARRRGH !!!
I forgot where i left my lazer axe to kill these things !!
Run away !!
24. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - April 6, 2009 2:02 PM
@20
See rule 6
@19
See my penis. It needs to be cleaned with your tounge.
25. Michael - April 6, 2009 4:09 PM
I think that's rule 34.
Zing!
26. They Are Coming For Us! - April 6, 2009 11:48 PM
I wrote about this freaky robot baby here (http://theyarecomingfor.us/?p=22). God this thing is weird. I mean, what the hell is wrong with Japan? It's OBVIOUS that it only wants to kill us and then devour our bodies. What happens when they give it more human like flesh and eyes and privates? Will people confuse it for an actual human? Oh Jesus...I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight.
27. Daisy - April 7, 2009 6:50 AM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max was trying to solve the mystery of whether a robot could possibly have killed a human, while dresseed up in a fresh prince costume.
28. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - April 7, 2009 10:59 AM
@26
You just made me hard. Fück-bots! Get your Fück-bots right here!
29. Alex - April 7, 2009 1:22 PM
Robo Child doesn't want to take over the world. It just wants to be a human boy. Like Haley Joel Osment from AI. You can make a difference in the life of a Robo Child. Adopt a Robo Child today.
30. Peregrinus - April 7, 2009 10:48 PM
Looks like the underground kid from Fringe.
31. John - April 10, 2009 1:59 PM
Watch out...soon Madonna or Angelina Jolie will be shutting down Japan to adopt one of these beauty pageant robot kids.
They've done it before.
32. Mackrel Man - April 12, 2009 4:11 AM
OH SH!T!!!!
Were screwed, I agree with GW, if they learn, theyll learn not to take orders, therefore, learning to kill us before we figure it out, I REALLY need to get a freaking gun before it happens.