Apr 18 2009 Why Not: Pac-Man Jackassery In Real Life
This is a video of some real life Pac-Man action. The video was created by Remi Gaillard (of real-life Mario Kart fame), who I assume is France's Jackass. Although I did like like the part where he tried to eat the woman's golf ball. Through a garden hose! Which, at least according to the wall above the urinal, your girlfriend. You lucky dog!
Thanks to Jack and c devine, who once ate all four ghosts while they were blue and still saved room for more dots.
Apr 18 2009 Crazy Sink Is Crazy, Drains Onto The Floor
The Abisko Washbasin from Eumar isn't even a basin. It's a freaking waterslide. A waterslide sink that drains onto the floor. How hilarious would it be if some bar installed this thing and forgot to put in the drain? Or even better -- you clogged it with a bunch of paper towels! HAHAHA, water damage is so funny! But seriously, it would be cool to spit blood in the sink and watch it sail down the stream. And why would you be spitting blood? I dunno, sometimes you just *WA-POW!* that's why.
Hit the jump for a bunch more of the questionable modernity.
Continue Reading " Crazy Sink Is Crazy, Drains Onto The Floor "
Apr 18 2009 Must Have: Custom Monkey Island Shoes
Converse All-Stars aren't really my thing, but I would make an exception and rock the hell out of these mama-jammas. Inspired by The Secret of Monkey Island, the shoes were hand-painted by a Spanish fan with scenes from the game (the opening and an insult swordfight). Awesome, now I want a pair of custom Monkey Island kicks. Also, a rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle. WHEE!
Hit the jump for close-ups of each shoe.
This is the END for you, you gutter-crawling cur!
And I've got a little TIP for you, get the POINT?
Apr 17 2009 Surprise!: Japanese Video Game Harnesses Head Tracking Technology For Perversion
Japanese erotic game maker Teatime's latest perversion comes in the form of Tech48, a platform which allows players to look at the in-game characters using head-tracking technology via webcam. What does this mean to the lay-pervert? More realistic upskirt action. Wow, using the latest in technology for deviancy, I'm shocked. Just kidding, it's the American way. Did I say American? I mean Japanese. My God those people are geniuses.
Hit the jump for a video of the perversion in action (upskirt demo starts at 2:30).
Apr 17 2009 Super Mario Theme Played On Laser Cutter
This is the Super Mario Bros. theme being played using the step motors of a laser cutter. It sounds just like you think it would (read: PEWLESS). Still, it's kinda cool. Not as cool as a cold one, but *glug glug glug* my God that's delicious. Now, what were we just talking about? Right, you getting me another beer. I vote yay.
Video: Laser cutter plays Super Mario Bros. theme [offworld]
Thanks to Sr. Laser Mario, who once played the Mario theme on a powerful burning laser and lost four fingers on one hand and two on the other. Still, it was beautiful, Sr. Mario.
Apr 17 2009 Legway: Segway's Steampunk Predecessor
The Legway was the original inspiration for Gob Bluth's preferred method of transportation, the Segway. As you can see, it's made out of copper piping, wood, and a heaping portion of leg muscle.
It's actually a variation of the Universe Cycle, with handlebars. I'd love to see a video to see how wonky it is to drive. The builder says it's not that hard and he's gotten pretty good at it.
"Gotten pretty good at it". Ha, that's just techno-babble for "WTF was I thinking tearing the pipes out of the guest bathroom?" Also, do you think the pet store will let me return a frozen dove for a full refund?
Hit the jump for a steampunk snowboard, because, why the hell not?
Apr 17 2009 A Whole Bunch Of Inky Sadness: LOLTATZ
LOLTATZ is like LOLCATZ but instead of cute animals there's a bunch of questionable tattoos. Obviously some people don't recognize a Metroid when they see one, but that's okay. I posted a bunch of my favorites after the jump, which you should definitely look at because most of them are hard to fathom. Like the fact that we've been to the moon. THE FREAKING MOON, MAN. That shit looks so small at night. You know what I mean -- like when you think about the universe and how tiny man is but how big we are compared to mice. What? I'm not stoned, you're stoned. Ice cream sandwiches. Jinx!
Hit the jump for a bunch more and a link to the website.
Apr 17 2009 Cute: An 8-Bit Water Slide In Real Life
This is a video of an 8-bit water slide in real life. I honestly have no idea what that even means, but it's a pretty cute stop-motion movie. Geez, what the hell did you expect folks -- it's Friday and I'm running on fumes. Paint fumes! *SNOOORT* OHMIGOD, YES -- DO ME IN THE BRAIN!
Youtube
Thanks to Kate and Kane, who are both tall enough to ride all the rides at the water park.
Apr 17 2009 Pirate Bay Founders Sentenced To A Year
That's right folks, the four men (Peter Sunde, Gottfrid Svartholm Warg, Fredrik Neij and Carl Lundstrom) most intimately linked to The Pirate Bay, a torrent-tracking portal I know absolutely nothing about and have never visited except to take this screenshot, have been found guilty of breaching copyright laws and have been ordered to pay around $3.6 million and each serve a year in the slammer.
The group that controls The Pirate Bay, launched in 2003, says that no copyrighted material is stored on its servers and no exchange of files actually takes place there so it cannot be held responsible for what material is being exchanged.
The prosecution said that by financing, programing and administering the site, the four men promoted the infringement of property rights by the site's users.Lundstrom's attorney Per Samuelson told journalists he was shocked by the verdict and the severity of the sentence.
"That's outrageous, in my point of view. Of course we will appeal," he said. "This is the first word, not the last. The last word will be ours."
I don't know much, but I do know I wouldn't want to spend a year in Swedish pound you in the ass jail, because that would involve a whole different kind of pirating (read: butt). Also, $3.6 million in fines? I've probably downloaded that much material myself. Sounds reasonable.
Pirate Bay fileshare four jailed for a year [yahoonews]
Thanks to Joshua, Robert, E of R, Sean and Richard, who don't even know what a torrent is. Isn't that right, guys? *wink*
Apr 17 2009 Scotland Police Department Heavy On Jedis
Strathclyde Police, Scotland's largest police force, says eight of its officers (and two of its civilian staff) listed Jedi as their official religion on voluntary diversity forms, making them the least feared police force ever.
The details were obtained in a Freedom of Information request by Jane's Police Review.
About 390,000 people listed their religion as Jedi in the 2001 Census for England and Wales. In Scotland the figure was a reported 14,000.The Office for National Statistics did not recognise it as a separate category, and incorporated followers of Jedi with atheists.
Wow, do you think the officers mod their billy clubs to look like lightsabers? Because that would be awesome. And by awesome I mean incredibly sad.
Force is strong for Jedi police [bbcnews]
Thanks to Thumperchica, debaser, Liz, Lee, Patrick and Annie, who once Force-choked a thief till he turned to the Dark Side (blacked out).
Apr 17 2009 Robot Dinos Shoot Beams When They Roar
Robot Dinosaurs That Shoot Beams When They Roar is a little Flash game you can play online (not to be confused with Jetpack Brontosaurus). Basically you're a robotic dinosaur that flies around shooting laser beams out of its mouth to destroy little balls and planes and a spinning laser thingy. I know, I am the king of vivid description. It doesn't take long to beat, so I highly recommend pissing away five minutes of your Friday playing. And if the boss comes by and asks what you're doing, I want you to look him dead in the eyes and tell him to go micromanage his penis. Then yell "BURN!" and initiate a high-five sequence. Alternatively, start packing up your desk.
Robot Dinosaurs That Shoot Beams When They Roar [arcadebomb]
Thanks to Oliver, Asiantom and Chris, who, RRRRAAAAAWWWWRRRR!!
Apr 16 2009 $7 An Hour To Sit In A Gin And Tonic Mist
We've already featured a gin and tonic fog room before, but that was part of an art installation, and this is an actual London bar, where you can go get all tyrannosaurus-wrecked on gin-vapors, then fish & chip it up and puke on the Underground. Good times. Plus, the use of a protective suit is included in your $7/hour binge, so you won't leave smelling like juniper dingleberries. And $7/hour -- that ain't bad. I typically average $30/hour getting crunk -- and that doesn't even include tipping the strippers!*
*Because I don't!
London Bar Pumps Gin and Tonic Into The Air: Please Breathe Responsibly [gizmodo]
Thanks to Julian, who, for two booze-related tips in one day, is obviously an alcoholic.
Apr 16 2009 Viral Samsung Ads: Now With Trickery
This is a viral ad for Samsung's new I8910 camera phone. I found the guy in the video annoying but I would do his girlfriend. Twice. Once with the lights on.
OUR CHALLENGE: GUESS HOW WE DID THIS. This clip was shot on an I8910 HD phone, a new camera phone just released by Samsung with an 8 megapixel camera that can actually record and output video in HD format. It was shot in one take, with no post production or special effects of any kind. Everything you see here was done "in-camera". Our challenge to you is to figure out how we did it. Hint: it's worth watching in HD...
I went ahead and took the time to embed the video in high definition for you. You know, since I'm your little bitch. And now I'll go ahead and ruin it for you. SPOILER ALERT: Not a mirror. Just a hole. A big, gaping hole. Which, SPOILER ALERT: my ex-wife.
Apr 16 2009 AT-AT X-Ray Reveals Shocking Interior
THEY'RE DINOSAURS! No wonder I was always so drawn to the lumbering giants so much. Admit it -- I'm not the only one who's lighted his saber during the Hoth battle scene, right? Right?
AT-AT Walker X-Rayed: It's a Dinosaur! [gizmodo]
Apr 16 2009 I'll Have Another: The Triforce....OF BOOZE!
The Triforce is a shot made of equal parts dark rum, banana liqueur, and Goldschläger. It sounds delicious (minus the combination of rum, banana and cinnamon), and I'm going to drink them until I start seeing fairies. You know, like Julia Roberts in Hook. But way nakeder. YOW YOW, TINK!
So all you Zelda fans know the Tri-force has three parts. Link (courage), Zelda (wisdom), Gannon (strength), and The Geekologie Writer (awesome). That was the inspiration for this drink. I chose a dark Rum for Link, since he represents courage, and the nick-name for rum is "liquid courage." Then there is 99 Bananas for Zelda. It's smooth and refreshing (and since she is a girl, she gets the fruity part - duh!). And lastly there is Goldschläger for Gannon, representing strength, because it is the part of this shot that really kicks your ass.
Cool, but Goldschläger doesn't really kick your ass. I mean, it's 87 proof cinnamon-flavored mouthwash. No, I suggest we ramp up the "strength" aspect of the drink. I'm thinking moonshine. And by thinking I mean manufacturing. Unless you're a cop, in which case I really did mean thinking.
Meet me by the old oak tree.
Gamer Drink: The Triforce [thedomesticscientist]
via
Slam Down A Triforce, Go Back In Time [kotaku]
Thanks Julian, I bought a round on your tab while you were in the bathroom. And drank them all. They tasted like happiness.
Apr 16 2009 Impressive Stop Motion: Wolf Vs Pig
I'm sure this sort of thing has been done before (OLD!) but that doesn't make the feat any less impressive. Or fun to watch. Which is why I'm posting it. I DON'T NEED YOUR PERMISSION! Well, what do you say, can I? Haha, I meant touch your boobs!
At first I photographed stop motion　animation. And I displayed the photographs in my room and photographed it again.　Enjoy a connection with the world of the room and the world in the photograph.
I tried to count the number of photos used to make the video, but I lost track around a trillion. And yes, as a matter of fact that does make me the world's highest counter. Seriously, this shit's the chronic.
Thanks to twellve, who once dressed up in a sheep costume, but I knew it was still her. You can't fool me, twellve!
Apr 16 2009 Bacon Torch Burns Hot, Hot Water Burn Baby
Some guy went and built a thermal lance (cutting torch) that runs on pure oxygen and the fat from bacon (well, prosciutto). As you can see from the picture, the 5,000°F grease-flame is hot enough to burn through a pan, and straight to our hearts. *swoon*
A thermal lance, typically made of iron instead of bacon, is used to cut up scrap metal and rescue people from collapsed buildings. It works by blowing pure oxygen gas through a pipe packed with iron and magnesium rods. These metals are surprisingly flammable in pure oxygen, releasing a huge amount of heat as they are consumed. The result is a jet of superheated iron plasma coming out of the end of the pipe. For sheer destructive force, few tools match a thermal lance. But iron isn't the only thing that's flammable in a stream of pure oxygen.
There's a video after the jump that explains how he made it, but I'm not into following directions so I just glue-sticked a bunch of bacon to grandma's oxygen mask. Here goes nothin'! *FWOOOSH!* Uh-oh, looks like I'm gonna need another grandma. Quick -- to the old folks home before my parents get back!
Hit the jump for an instructional video.
Continue Reading " Bacon Torch Burns Hot, Hot Water Burn Baby "
Apr 16 2009 Faceless Watch Lacks Face, Hides LEDs
The LED watch was designed by Hironao Tsuboi and appears to just be a metal band. But it's actually hiding a deep, dark secret: it once ran over a bum and didn't stop! Or, LEDs. Push a button, BOOM: the time. Don't push the button, BOOM: no time. Push my buttons, BOOM: fisticuffs.
Hit the jump for another picture.
Apr 16 2009 Pure Awesome: Nitrous Oxide Game Boy
I know what you're thinking, and no, the PediSedate isn't an unmarked van and bandanna soaked in chloroform. It's a Game Boy hooked up to a nitrous oxide tank! Designed to distract kids while you gas them at the doctor's/dentist's office, it might just be the best invention ever. Of course, I always loved getting gassed. So much that the dentist actually caught me trying to wheel a nitrous tank out to my mom's car once. That was Monday. I have two fingers.
Game Boy Oddities - The PediSedate [ohgizmo]
Thanks to Raúl, who always chose the bubble-gum nose when getting gassed. Nice, I was a cherry guy.
Apr 15 2009 Highly Questionable: 'Mow The Lawn' Ad
This is the second in a series of highly questionable commercials (tulips on the mound -- WTF?!) for the Shick Quattro For Women TrimStyle with Bikini Trimmer. Which, if you couldn't tell by the name, is a beaver cleaver. Now I'm not going to go into the racial stereotypes presented in this commercial, but needless to say there were some. Admittedly, I do like to keep myself trimmed. And my ladyfriends too. And not just because it won't reach if we both aren't, but that's totally why. Also, what's up with the perfectly spherical bush? Do you women actually do that? Pictures or it didn't happen.
Thanks to Abbo and Eric the Cleric, who don't use razors because they have lasers. That, uh, that sounds scary, guys.
Apr 15 2009 Blocky, Reaaaally Blocky: Tetris Furniture
Tetris furniture: it just makes sense. Furniture is blocky, tetrads are blocky, BOOM-SHACKA-SHAKE'N'BAKE -- Tetris furniture. It's tetradical! Except -- why does that long block have five squares?
Artists Diego Silvério and Helder Filipov have created a beautiful furniture design that uses the Tetris bricks we have all known to both love and hate. The different bricks combined show many different options and ways for gamers to also have a great looking room and profess their utmost love for the original Tetris game.
ZOMG, I want all long pieces! No, wait, squares! And go ahead and throw in some of those L's. Fine, I'll take them all. But for free. Seriously, this is a gun. *PEW PEW* Haha, did I say gun? I meant laser blaster.
Hit the jump for a couple more shots of the possibilities.
Continue Reading " Blocky, Reaaaally Blocky: Tetris Furniture "
Apr 15 2009 I Feel Funny: Best Dinosaur Tattoo EVER
Well earlier this week we saw the best dinosaur costume ever, and now, the best tattoo. I really love the realism. And by realism I mean how the guy is obviously sitting on one of the dinosaur's spines -- because that's how I ride.
This Is A Very Good Tattoo [holytaco]
Thanks to Chase is First, who, technically, has you all beat.
Apr 15 2009 6-Year Old Finds Pron On New PSP, Cries
A six-year old found a bunch of nudey pictures on the PSP his mother purchased for him from Walmart and got all upset about it and cried to his mommy.
Tamatha said she found a memory card inside the PSP containing hundreds of pornographic pictures. She claimed it's not hers and it was in the PSP before she opened the box.
She then called the store wanting to speak with a manager about the problem. "I explained the situation and his response was, 'well, bring the machine down and we'll let your son pick out a new game,'" she said. "And I was like, no I don't think you heard what I said."
Tamatha is demanding a new gaming system, apology, and written promise her son won't grow up to be gay. Good luck with that Tamatha, but I've got news for you: he's been that way since birth. I mean, he cried when he saw a naked woman. What? Well, yeah, but I only do it sometimes.
Mom Finds Porn on New PSP [myfoxboston]
Thanks to Chris and Asiantom, who would have felt like they just won the fapping lottery.
Apr 15 2009 Floating Cloud Sofa Looks Comfy, Conceptual
The Cloud is a levitating sofa that floats thanks to magnets and, I suspect, a tiny wizard. Unfortunately, it's only conceptual. Which, for those of you who don't know what conceptual is, means really soft. You should buy one.
Cloud is a sofa concept designed for ultra comfort and relaxation. The soft floating upper part is supported by the magnetic force generated by the bottom base. No matter if you want to work and sit with comfort or simply a power nap to release the stress, you can always enjoy your time to relax on the floating cloud.
Designed by D.K. Wei (no relation to that barrel throwing bastard), the Cloud recently won honorable mention (3rd loser) in a relaxation design contest. Which, wait a minute, relaxation design contest -- WTF is that? Fifth of gin and a handful of Valium. BOOM, blue ribbon.
Cloud magnetically levitating sofa is the greatest couch concept, ever
Apr 15 2009 Too Close To Home: Flame War Music Video
NOTE: NSFW VIDEO IS NSFW DUE TO LANGUAGE
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that time I visited Geekologie and read the comments, then put a gun in my mouth and cried.
We Didn't Start The Flamewar [collegehumor]
Thanks to Julian and Tangelax, who both took the time to point out it reminded them of Geekologie. Nice guys, I barely noticed the resemblance.
Apr 15 2009 Hamburger Cake Suitable For All Meals
Well, we ended yesterday with the BA-K-47, and now we're kicking Wednesday off right with a hamburger (technically a cheeseburger) cake. In case you couldn't tell, or your mommy is reading this to you while you eat your oatmeal, a hamburger cake is a cake made to look like a hamburger. And the great thing about it is, it's not just a bunch of fondant -- it's mostly good old fashioned icing! Skill level here appears to be about a 2 out of 10, so, with a shit-ton of practice, even you could make one! Now, back in the kitchen -- I'm ready for my eggs.
Flickr Gallery
via
Hamburger Cake [tellmesomethingidontknow]
Thanks to Matt, who once ate an entire hamburger cake and still saved room for a whole bag of Cadbury mini-eggs. I like your style Matt, freaking love those things. Also, to Hans, whose mother actually made the cake.
Apr 14 2009 Dangerously Delicious: The BA-K-47
The BA-K-47 is a full size replica of an AK-47 made out of bacon (and wire). Quick, put it in my mouth and pull the trigger! Mmmm, lardy!
We had our first annual Bacon Day this past Saturday. As a huge fan of bacon, and all the great bacon blogs out there, I decided it was time for me to make my own bacon creation. I came up with the BA-K-47, a 1:1 scale AK-47 made out of bacon. It took a total of eight hours to create, a lot of bacon, and a blowtorch... oh yeah, and our good friend beer helped too.
ZOMG -- you know beer too?! The trouble that guy and I used to get into! Like yesterday when he told me to steal my neighbor's car and drive it into a ravine! And right now when he told me to type that despite on ongoing investigation. Hold on, door.
UPDATE: COPS -- DAMN YOU BEER!
UPDATE: You know I didn't mean that. Now get over here and give daddy a little sippy-sippy.
Hit the jump for a whole bunch more.
Apr 14 2009 Blade Work: Isao Machii, Modern Samurai
This is a video of Isao Machii, who is billed as a modern-day Samurai, showing off his skills with the blade. It's a long video, so I'll direct you to the good parts.
1:45: Cuts the top half of a mushroom's cap off. Sent shivers down my pants.
3:30: Horizontally cuts a bean lengthwise. Sent shivers down my pants.
5:15: Cuts a 6mm Airsoft BB shot at him in half. GW realizes bringing a gun to a Samurai fight might not be enough.
8:00: Cuts an iron pipe in half without bending or warping the pipe. This part is skippable, since I totally could have done that. With my penis. HI-YA, BITCHES!
Thanks to Jason, who once got a watermelon pregnant just by glancing at it in the produce section of the grocery store.
Apr 14 2009 'God's Hand' Spotted Using Space Telescope
That's right, son, spotted for the first time since like the year -5 billion: God's hand!
The image, taken by NASA's space-based Chandra Observatory telescope, shows an X-ray nebula 150 light years across.
NASA says the display is caused by a young and powerful pulsar, known by the rather prosaic name of PSR B1509-58.The finger-like structures are apparently caused by "energizing knots of material in a neighboring gas cloud," NASA says.
DAAAAMN! But seriously, God, you might want to have that pinky looked at.
NASA photos show giant cosmic hand [cnn]
Thanks e., I would walk 150 light years, and I would walk 150 more, just to be the man who walked 300 light years to fall down at your door.
Apr 14 2009 A Grass Wheel For The Concrete Jungle
The Grass Wheel was created by David Gallaugher, Kevin James, and Jacob Jebailey of the Dalhousie School of Architecture, and provides a comfortable, shoe-free mode of eco-transportation in the concrete jungle (grass-sandals guys, just saying). And I think we can all agree, it makes a very powerful statement. One about renewable energy or something. No? Human hamster wheels? A-ha -- space technology and growing grass upside down! Yes, very thought provoking. How do they do that?
Grass Wheel [neatorama]
Thanks to Armando, who is all man and refuses to walk in anything but a broken-glass wheel. Nice, Armando, but I'll stick to my burning coals wheel.
Apr 14 2009 Worth $500K?: The Human Regenerator
The Human Regenerator is a $553,400 piece of monkey shit that's supposed to make you live longer or something. Personally, I think it looks suspiciously like Superman's tanning bed of solitude.
The Human Regenerator is a Quantum-Pulse-Device that imitates and generates the cellular body's natural frequencies ranging between 0.0005 and 38,000 Hz.
Through intensive treatment with the body's own healthy frequencies, the organism is regenerated in a natural way. This process is enhanced by specially treated silicium and aluminum depots, which with the help of right spinning protos have an anti-aging effect.Furthermore, longitudinal waves are used as a filter to create more human-like waves, therefore adding pure positive energy to the body.
Very convincing technology there. Unfortunately, only 50 of the devices are being made, and "will be offered to a small circle of prominent figures of our time." But if you showed up with $500K, I guarantee you could get one. And also, maybe some hooker action. Which, let's be realistic, will do a lot more for you than Quatum-Cell-Coding ever will -- provided you wrap it up. Otherwise, cooties bro.
Thanks to Mushishi, who's also selling a cellular regenerator that looks suspiciously like a microwave oven with no door.
Apr 14 2009 Gross!: Man Grows Small Fir Tree In Lung
Apparently some guy was huffing pinecones when he accidentally snorted a bud into his lungs, where it grew into a little tree. Please note: man was not actually snorting pinecones, I just made that up for the sake of providing you with the highest quality investigative journalism. Also, I don't know know if you could tell or not, but I made that graphic using Photoshop. Elite skills: I'm full of them. But hopefully, not evergreens.
Artyom Sidorkin, came to a hospital in the city of Izhevsk in Central Russia last week, complaining that he was experiencing chest pain and coughing up blood.
After submitting to an X-ray the doctors saw a lump in the patient's lung. After a biopsying the lump the doctors pulled out a 5 centimeter fir tree branch out of his lung, complete with needles.
Sick! At least he didn't swallow it though. Because one time I swallowed a pumpkin seed and then several months later pissed a jack-o-lantern, complete with cut-out face and candle. Boy did I feel 8 pounds lighter!
Hit the jump for a graphic shot of the tree and partial lung after removal. NOT recommended for lunch viewing.
Continue Reading " Gross!: Man Grows Small Fir Tree In Lung "
Apr 14 2009 Trying To Pancake A Car With A Rocket Sled
This is by far one of the coolest videos I've seen in awhile. In it, the Mythbusters attempt to fuse metal and pancake a compact car using a rocket-sled traveling at 650MPH. The results are....amazing. And why I don't drive. With a license.
Thanks to snipmint, who once rode a rocket to the moon and didn't bother to bring me back any cheese. Just sayin', kind of a dick move.
Apr 14 2009 It's Dangerous To Go Alone. Take This.
This is probably older than the topical gel I found in the back of my medicine cabinet while hunting for my Valtrex multi-vitamins, but that doesn't affect the cuteness. As you can see, it's a cat dressed up as Link. Making him the coolest cat ever (besides your own, I'm sure). Granted, he forgot the apostrophe in "I'm" and can't capitalize to save his last half-heart, but he's a cat for crying out loud. They're notoriously poor with grammar. And also, in general. MR. WHISKERS -- YOU'RE LATE ON RENT AGAIN!
Picture [wtfux]
Thanks to Spikey DaPikey, who agrees he could only be cuter if he was swinging a wooden sword.
Apr 13 2009 Asleep At The Keyboard: Candle 1, Laptop 0
Dripping candle is dripping. But seriously, I've been looking for a way to spice up the ol' love life, and my hand doesn't go numb anymore. So I've been thinking about ordering a hooker. I guess what I'm getting at is this: as a natural-born pyromaniac, is bring a flame into the bedroom safe? And, if so, what do you guys recommend?
UPDATE: Hello, 911? YEAH -- THERE IS A HOOKER ON FIRE IN MY APARTMENT! My name? My name is *click*
Candle Fail [failblog]
via
In a Fight Between Candle and Laptop, Candle Usually Wins [gizmodo]
Apr 13 2009 Awh Man, I Want To Be Like A Boss
NOTE: VIDEO IS CLEAN VERSION. UNCENSORED ONE AFTER THE JUMP.
If you haven't seen this already it's the latest video from The Lonely Island's album Incredibad. This particular ditty is called 'Like A Boss' and it's all about a normal day in a boss's life. It's pretty much what I do everyday too, except I'm not responsible for managing anybody. I can barely manage my own penis! Now where is that guy?
Make sure your mother isn't standing behind you and then hit it for the dirty version!
Apr 13 2009 Stay Strong, GW: Helpless Robot Almost Cute
I say almost because there's no such thing as a cute robot. They're all just disgusting machines, only interested in the demise of the human race and reproducing like rabbits with their rusty metal phalli. But still, Tweenbots are the closest a robot has ever come to almost being slightly a little-tiny bit cute looking (excluding WALL-E).
Tweenbots are human-dependent robots that navigate the city with the help of pedestrians they encounter. Rolling at a constant speed, in a straight line, Tweenbots have a destination displayed on a flag, and rely on people they meet to read this flag and to aim them in the right direction to reach their goal.
Tweenbots are the brainchild of NYU student Kacie Kinzer and, as much as I hate to say it, are adorable. At least until you try to point it in the right direction and they spray you in the eyes with hydrochloric acid or explodes. Which, I suspect, is being saved for Tweenbot v2.0. Hit the jump for several more pictures, as well as a map and video of it's maiden voyage, on which it took 42 minutes and 29 different people to help the smug little bastard traverse a park. Wow -- I can't even begin to describe how ironic this whole project is. Mostly just because I don't understand irony. Just kidding. Tanks.
Hit it, it's fun.
Continue Reading " Stay Strong, GW: Helpless Robot Almost Cute "
Apr 13 2009 For When It's Cold: Sleeping Bag Coats
Lippi Selk'bags cost $125-$150 and look like wearable sleeping bags. Because that's what they are -- sleeping bags that you wear. Any of you lovely ladies interested in sharing one with me? Awesome -- I get it on weekends!
Lippi's Selk'bag is made for mobility, comfort and a more recuperative sleep. Designed and tested in the Andes, the Selk'bag was named in honor of the lost Selk'nam natives of Chile who were known for their ferocity and ability to withstand harsh conditions.
In a recent comparison conducted by Consumer Reports, a Selk'bag actually ripped a Snuggie's sleeves off and defecated down its head hole. Which, you're right, would have made a great commercial.
Sleeping-Bag Suit Makes Snuggies Look Even Wussier [asylum]
Thanks to Stephen, who can endure temperatures down to -40 degrees Celsius because he's inside a tauntaun.
Apr 13 2009 Sexiest Dinosaur Costume EVER EVER EVER
My God what I wouldn't give to be that guy.
Best costume ever? You be the judge.*
*Unless you answered "no", in which case, you seriously suck at judging.
Picture [izismile]
Thanks to Spikey DaPikey, who knew how inherently sexy this was as soon as he saw it. Spikey, we should start a club.
Apr 13 2009 Biblical: And The Lord Said, "Go Forth And Build Me With Modular Plastic Blocks"
Parishioners at a Protestant church in Vasteras, Sweden, kicked off Easter yesterday with the unveiling of a 6-foot tall, 30,000 piece LEGO Jesus. *eyeballing own 6", 18-piece LEGO Jesus* Nice, guys, way to 1-up me.
It took the 40 volunteers about 18 months to put all the tiny plastic blocks together, and their creation shows a standing Jesus facing forward with his arms outstretched.
Church spokesman Per Wilder said the statue at the Onsta Gryta church in the central Swedish city of Vasteras is a copy of Danish sculptor Bertel Thorvaldsen's "Christus" statue on display in Copenhagen.
LEGO Jesuses, now THAT'S what Easter is all about. Am I right? Well, besides dying eggs and projectile vomiting the chocolate bunny from your Easter basket. *HOOOORF* I think I see his ear!
Parishioners create Christ statue from Legos [dispatch]
Thanks to Jeremy and Meema, who had a Peep-eating contest and both lost.
Apr 13 2009 Cute: 2-Year Playing Street Fighter II Turbo
This is a video of a two-year old playing Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix and pulling off Zangief's Double German Suplex simply by mashing all the buttons. Which, ironically, is how I play.
My two year old son's first time in front of the joystick, playing against another five year old online in Super Street Fighter 2 Turbo HD Remix. Manages to get a couple grabs and finishes the third round with a double suplex. He also did Fei Long's flaming kick and some other special moves in matches I didn't get on video. He's better at flailing at 2 than I was at 22 when SF2 came out in the arcade. :P I'm so proud.
Hearing the father say "push the buttons" gets pretty annoying after the first time, so feel free to skip to the last 15-seconds to watch the kid pull off the suplex. Then, start training your own child for a promising career in video games. Hey, anything can happen. Believe it or not, I even touched a boob once. *poker face* Admit it -- I had you going for a second!
Baby Pulls Off Zangief's Double German Suplex [kotaku]
Thanks to Julian, who once beat Sagat with one eye closed, just to be fair.
Apr 13 2009 It's Trippy Time!: The Bulbdial Clock
The Bulbdial clock is like a sundial except, instead of the sun, it uses little LEDs to cast shadows from the timepiece's center spoke. Impressively, it casts three different shadows to correspond to the hours, minutes and seconds. It achieves this feat by having three tiers of LEDs, with the highest casting the (red) hour hand (explanatory pictures after the jump).
Additionally, for fun and clarity, we used red, green, and blue LEDs for the three rings, making each shadow hand of the clock a different color. Each ring has 12 LEDs, and the 36 LEDs are efficiently multiplexed by an AVR microcontroller that also handles the timekeeping part of the project.
So it's a a sundial for inside -- awesome! I swear, what will they come up with next? Interactive adult DVDs? Haha, already been done. And not to brag or anything, but I did crack the disk. Ladies?
Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a link to the build page.
Apr 12 2009 Woody Harrelson Assaults 'Zombie' Paparazzo
And in celebrity-related undead news, Woody Harrelson beat up a photographer and blamed it on the fact he thought the dude was a zombie. Good lookin', Woody.
Harrelson, who is being sued by another TMZ photographer for an alleged assault in 2006, did not deny his involvement.
"I wrapped a movie called 'Zombieland,' in which I was constantly under assault by zombies, then flew to New York, still very much in character," Harrelson said in a statement issued Friday by his publicist."With my daughter at the airport I was startled by a paparazzo, who I quite understandably mistook for a zombie," he said.
Ha, quite understandably is right. But seriously, Woody, how'd you sneak weed on the plane?
Woody Harrelson claims he mistook photographer for zombie [cnn]
Thanks to Larry, RyanThePerson, Evan and 4thirty, who once beat up a group of vampire paparazzi before realizing they were just a bunch of pale Twihards trying to score a picture of Robert Patteson.
Apr 12 2009 Free Candy?: Talk To Strangers With Omegle
Omegle is a free chat service that connects you to a one-on-one conversation with a complete stranger. And as you can see from my screencap, most people are idiots. Still, there is some fun to be had if you're bored. And by 'fun' I mean I put on my robe and wizard hat. Ladies?
Thanks to Marcel, Tabitha and Valdesjon, who actually met hot singles using Omegle. Or, I dunno, fat middle aged men posing as hot singles (this one).
HAPPY EASTER!
