Mar 9 2009You're A Real Ninja Now: The Belt Sword

first!!

show her my belt sword first!

EPIC FAIL

I Have a very large belt sword
Or whatever that is I dont know
I just know that my sword was in
God of War 2 it was the sword you kept trying to pull out of the ground
and all your life force was going into my sword and when you were finally done
you were week from using your life force to pull it out and it was only good for 1 good blast that put a hole right on the colosasses belly, but dont worry my sword was good to go again 20 minutes later when Zeus grabbed my sword and started beating me with it and then with one climatic discharge killed my entire army.

if any of you had a dirty thought during that detailed and helpful guide i just gave you then there is something wrong with you perv

hawt!

@1 The firstarded have you under a spell, you're losing - save yourself!

it seems as though #3 has $hit himself :(

#3?

I'd defenetly stab her with something...
If i buy one will i get the girl too? Seriously, that's all i care about ahaha

I had to watch that first video 3 times to see them sword- stupid hair/breast glue

The worst thing ever?

I was much more interested when she didn't have her clothes on....

The deployment #2 video clearly reveals a nipple, and once you get an eye for what her nipple shape is and where it's located, you can clearly find it in #1 as well.

So it's not a total loss, although I would have assumed that the bare MINIMUM effort in a "lets hide a boob but not try to look like we're hiding a boob" arena would involve using fake hair a similar color to the models real hair. I actually didn't even notice the hair color was wrong until about the 3rd watching...I was focused on trying to find the nipple. hah!

Also, the graceful slash video reveals that this chick is so damned stupid, she neither knows what "graceful" or "slash" means.

I can tell you from experience that whipping around a flexiple strip of steel, sharp or not, is a fast road to losing an ear. I hope this "company" has good lawyers, I'm thinking about suing just for mental anguish.

I have no idea what you are all talking about. I watched the video like 10 times. The chick is wearing a black sweat shirt thing the entire time. And her hair is no where near long enough to touch her shoulders even.... Besides, she a little old for my taste, but to each his own I guess.

as seen on ruroni kenshin!

And The Winner of the Product Most Likely to Put Consumer in the ER is....
This stupid f-ing thing.

butterface

That first chick is so NOT cute... I'd totally do the gramma, though.

Now THAT'S how you sell a product!

"Want a sword belt? Look at my nipples!"

"I'll take 3!!!"

And while the rapist tries to catch you, you cut off your ear,

"Oh shi- a rapist *while running you cut your ear*
- An ear? WTF

*you run away*"

seriously, who'd want to rape a chick with no ears? thats like reaaaaly creepy.

Augh my work proxy won't let me see the nippleage!

I may be strange, but the first thing I thought about were kids wearing these to schools.

Haha, reminds me of the movie Pootie Tang.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pootie_Tang

@3 very good comment. You are so down with how the kids talk.

Holy crap! I've got a boner like an adult oaktree underneath my chainmail! someone quick climb this tree!

I wonder how many people will try to get these through airports? These might get you arrested for a concealed weapon.

@23: You bastard. Thanks for bringing the memory of that movie back up again, I was trying so hard to forget it was even made, let alone that I watched it.

That is the worst movie ever...ever.

...Need more nipple shots now to get that out of my head...or maybe a few verses of "Spoonman."

FAKE!!!!

This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.

This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max was racing golf carts on the golf course, and rolled it over into the sand trap.

You guys really need to read the rest of the site. Apparently, this sword has "Fighter Jet Technology!", because the sword has no sharp edge. It's rounded, like the wing of a fighter jet!

@29: Read? Read what? There's a half-naked chick to stare at on video...

@29.....

Yeah, i read that as well, must be reeeeeeel good huh LMFAO !!

Zoink !

Brings a whole new meaning to "I'll tan your hide with my belt".

As if knives weren't causing enough problems on the street, now you get action man accessories that can chop off limbs. Personally, I can't wait for the Jimmy Choo ankle scythes.

I agree that the BeltSword System (when concealed outside the customers own private residence) is an illegal concealed weapon.

so the thing is totally useless... lol try walking in the court house with it on

katana better one :d

By the time my opponent had drawn that blade, I would have already buried my 4" folder to its hilt in their chest.

This thing is useless by the time you get this out you would be Shot dead

im a better ninja than all those ppl in videos!!! that lady was a biddy though <3

This article has great reference value, thank you very much for sharing, I would like to reproduced your article, so that more people would see it.

Granted the BeltSword Weapon System is not for everyone; however it is being tested by Colonel Gary Davis - US Special Operation - Combined Security Trasition Command - Afghanistan.
The people that purchase the system are either: martial artists, law enforcement personnel or US Military. Independent tests prove we will deploy the RazorSword (Without undoing the belt buckle) faster than a concealed carry firearm deployment. In states that have concealed carry weapon permits the BeltSword is legal to carry.
RazorSwords are made from 1095 high carbon spring steel with a hardness of an HRC 55-57. My background is Eskrima (Philippine art of stick fighting) Some of the RazorSwords are very heavy and capable of crushing skulls and bones. A razor sharp unit will "disarm' your attacker.
I personally feel sad for those with a basic lack of combat knowledge; there are several Asian special operation military units that carry short swords for close quarter battle and prefer it to a firearm in those close quarter situations.
Believe me; you would not wish to be on the receiving end of a 33 inch razor sharp RazorSword that you did not see coming...especially if it was in the hands of a trained expert in Eskrima.
Again it it unfortunate that people criticize what they do not understand - what weapon system have you invented that is being tested by US Special Operations.
Respectfully, Curtis W. Koehler

Granted the BeltSword Weapon System is not for everyone; however it is being tested by Colonel Gary Davis - US Special Operation - Combined Security Trasition Command - Afghanistan.
The people that purchase the system are either: martial artists, law enforcement personnel or US Military. Independent tests prove we will deploy the RazorSword (Without undoing the belt buckle) faster than a concealed carry firearm deployment. In states that have concealed carry weapon permits the BeltSword is legal to carry.
RazorSwords are made from 1095 high carbon spring steel with a hardness of an HRC 55-57. My background is Eskrima (Philippine art of stick fighting) Some of the RazorSwords are very heavy and capable of crushing skulls and bones. A razor sharp unit will "disarm' your attacker.
I personally feel sad for those with a basic lack of combat knowledge; there are several Asian special operation military units that carry short swords for close quarter battle and prefer it to a firearm in those close quarter situations.
Believe me; you would not wish to be on the receiving end of a 33 inch razor sharp RazorSword that you did not see coming...especially if it was in the hands of a trained expert in Eskrima.
Again it it unfortunate that people criticize what they do not understand - what weapon system have you invented that is being tested by US Special Operations.
Respectfully, Curtis W. Koehler 414-303-3000

Also, I would like to remind everyone that this sword has been personally endorsed by Remo Williams. Just think how foolish you will feel when a trained martial artist runs across a lake to slash your ears off with a RazorSword for mocking his fashionable belt. I feel staggering metric tons of pity pressing down upon my shoulders like the weight of a hundred engorged elephants for anyone with such a basic lack of combat knowledge that they fail to recognize the role of the sword in modern tactical combat as a utility for CRUSHING things like skulls and bones. Law enforcement officers in Hyrule, Hyboria, Corsucant, Krynn, and Asia all prefer swords to guns in close combat situations involving dragons and evil wizards. There is a reason why the sword bayonet of WWI has become the principal infantry weapon of the 21st century, and why even street gangs have traded in their "gats" and "nines" for katana and claymores (just ask the Wu-Tang Clan, if you don't believe me). 90% of combat fatalities are the direct result of sword-related injury, and we are currently working with the US military to develop a twenty-foot long "tankbuster" sword and nuclear capable intercontinental ballistic sword. Anyone who has watched Star Wars, knows that the sword is not just a weapon for obese dorks and naked women, it is the weapon of the FUTURE . . . at least when in the hands of a trained expert in Eskrima. Just today, on my way to the Ren Faire, I deflected at least a dozen bullets and arrows with my RazorSword. In the time it takes a bullet to reach me, my sword is out and my opponent decapitated! I can walk through walls. I turn invisible. I am made of 1095 high carbon spring steel with a hardness of an HRC 55-57. My name is a killing word. Hulk smash! Growl!

Respectfully, Curtis J. Koehler 414-867-5309

Also, I would like to remind everyone that this sword has been personally endorsed by Remo Williams. Just think how foolish you will feel when a trained martial artist runs across a lake to slash your ears off with a RazorSword for mocking his fashionable belt. I feel staggering metric tons of pity pressing down upon my shoulders like the weight of a hundred engorged elephants for anyone with such a basic lack of combat knowledge that they fail to recognize the role of the sword in modern tactical combat as a utility for CRUSHING things like skulls and bones. Law enforcement officers in Hyrule, Hyboria, Corsucant, Krynn, and Asia all prefer swords to guns in close combat situations involving dragons and evil wizards. There is a reason why the sword bayonet of WWI has become the principal infantry weapon of the 21st century, and why even street gangs have traded in their "gats" and "nines" for katana and claymores (just ask the Wu-Tang Clan, if you don't believe me). 90% of combat fatalities are the direct result of sword-related injury, and we are currently working with the US military to develop a twenty-foot long "tankbuster" sword and nuclear capable intercontinental ballistic sword. Anyone who has watched Star Wars, knows that the sword is not just a weapon for obese dorks and naked women, it is the weapon of the FUTURE . . . at least when in the hands of a trained expert in Eskrima. Just today, on my way to the Ren Faire, I deflected at least a dozen bullets and arrows with my RazorSword. In the time it takes a bullet to reach me, my sword is out and my opponent decapitated! I can walk through walls. I turn invisible. I am made of 1095 high carbon spring steel with a hardness of an HRC 55-57. My name is a killing word. Hulk smash! Growl!

Respectfully, Curtis J. Koehler 414-867-5309

The above blog is that of a liar and fraud. He used part of my name [Curtis J. Koehler – to be foolish and misleading] he lacks basic courtesy. What he or she does not realize; how this reflects upon his parents/family and how he was raised. This attitude is one of the reasons our fine country is in trouble. Rather than inspiring our American spirit to create new inventions and respect one another – people…parasites like this add nothing – all they do is talk foolish and sit there morbidly obese…blaming others for there lack of success. I know people like this would never speak to me in person; because they are cowards! And if they did call me it would be some foolish talk.

I apologize to the fine outstanding Americans that have to read this response. We can solve our economic woes; but it is up to us. China is going to out produce us and kick our ass; perhaps other countries as well. Time for all of us to get serious – not talk like the idiot above - that is the point of my response.

Very respectfully, Curtis W. Koehler 414-303-3000 (Inventor) www.razorrazor.com

As a person of Chinese heritage, I resent the previous poster's hurtful comments toward my homeland. In addition, as someone afflicted with diabetes due to the cancer that I am receiving chemotherapy for, I find his reference to the morbidly obese downright insulting. I also have an allergy to seafood, does that make me a coward in your book, sir? Just because you THINK you can deflect bullets with your sword does not make you superior to others. I think it makes you sound ridiculous to claim that you can walk through walls and then to say that the previous poster talks foolishly just for saying that an article you disagree with has great reference value (that, after you post FOUR times consecutively).

I believe that the reason for China's success is not any failing on the part of America but is due purely to our recent innovations in cultural and economic techniques that, to put it in your "Wu-Tang Eskrima" terms, give us metaphoric swords to trim the fat of wasteful spending and industrial mismanagement. The cutting tongues of our foreign diplomats can parry any thrust and figuratively crush skull and bone. If Americans stopped buying frivolous belts of swords too big for the belt loops my cousin sews for you and invested instead in the Detroit steel of auto production, they could put their country back on track.

As the great philosopher Thulsa Doom said, "What is steel compared to the hand that wields it? Look at the strength in your body, the desire in your heart!" I can't believe that you would waste your country's resources developing "tankbuster swords" and belts made of swords for your infantry. Are you serious to even consider a "nuclear sword"!?

I also apologize to the fine outstanding Americans that have to read the previous poster's response. Although, truthfully, I must confess my own jealousy and inherent tendency to blame others for my lack of success in inventing a belt of swords of my own. As a morbidly obese Chinese medical researcher, I have the sad distinction of contributing only toward highly impractical and unnecessary antimony-free drugs for the treatment of those HIV immunosuppressed people who are coinfected with leishmaniasis. Had I invented a monomolecular sword to fight disease with then perhaps I could think of myself as someone who has benefited mankind.

Ming-húa Hsieh (Fat man who has not invented a belt of swords)

p.s. Flexible swords that could be worn as belts were invented in China during the Jīn Dynasty in 1214, but go ahead and take credit for it just like you Westerners did gunpowder and paper.

Again may I remind you that the Curtis J. Koehler above is a fraud; posted to mislead you.
First I have studied under a Chinese sword master; Scott Rodell one a few Americans to join an elite Chinese martial arts society. Scott has researched BeltSwords and according to him they never existed in China; unless you include a flexible sword that can be attached to your mid section. This ridiculous design can be seen from a mile away and you would be better served just hiding a short sword under your clothes. (I could strap a shotgun around my waist with a rope with the same effect as the Chinese BeltSword.
Our BeltSword Weapon System can be worn by a small woman with a par of short shorts and you cannot find the RazorSword. Sorry China your design does not make it.
Originally I made no offensive remark about China – but I will now! (Taiwan and I are in good company) I merely stated the facts; the people in the US better get serious because in China and many other Asian countries they are working to get an edge over the United States. They are also forming relationships with our enemies such as Iran and North Korea. China is not our friend unless you enjoy the toxic painted toys they send to our children and tainted pet food that kills – China is also killing their own people with toxic waste – so have at it China!
If you are worried about global warming…in our time you will see the ultimate in global warming…10,000 degrees Fahrenheit over major cities. If you don’t like the United States of America you may kiss my Ass – as I may be blessed to give my life in the defense of this great land and fellow American Patriots.
Respectfully, Curtis W.Koehler www.razorrazor.com

I see. Since you are so against Chinese meddling in your economy, would you, Mr. Koehler, as a patriot, care to pay back the $772 billion that your country owes us? I suppose that we could accept payment in sword belts, or you could just write a check to China for your $2,501 share of the debt (or $5,002, since there seem to be two of you). I mean, if we had that money back, we could use it to pay for health care reform, new roads and bridges, and improving our auto industry.

But don't get me wrong. We admire the way that the United States eliminated child labor and hazardous work conditions . . . by shipping them overseas. I truly appreciate the fantastic job opportunity that your country has given my twelve-year-old cousin sewing belt loops onto your iconic blue jeans in an American factory. My most sincere apologies if his standard of quality does not meet with your expectations. Oh, and so very sorry about all of the corners we have to cut to keep the prices low at WalMart. That's all on us! I know that your fellow Americans "Buy China" as a symbol of their tremendous national pride, which is worth far more than saving a few dollars.

And you are right. I am sure that Scott Rodell knows far more about Chinese history than me. I can tell just from his very traditional Chinese name that he has an all-access pass to my country, its people, and its rich heritage. We are well-known, after all, for our openness and freedom of information. Do you have a Russian friend who can teach me a thing or two about the 17th century belt sword worn in that country? Didn't some Africans use flexible blades as a form of currency?

Anyways, thanks for threatening to NUKE CHINA! That'll sure teach us to make friends with terrorists! I guess you'd do that with the intercontinental ballistic sword you had mentioned in your previous post (which you can claim isn't your work because you misspelled your OWN name). Nothing warms my heart like a 10,000 degrees Fahrenheit death threat. By the way, is it Mr. Koehler, or as someone blessed to give their life in defense of blah blah blah do you have a military title that I should address you by?

Ming-húa Hsieh (not the inventor of the sword belt)