Mar 9 2009You're A Real Ninja Now: The Belt Sword
The Belt Sword is a questionable sword hidden within a belt. It was created to make dorks feel safe even though in a real-life situation they'd either forget they were wearing the thing or stab themselves trying to get it out. Also, they look suspiciously like aluminum-foil wrapped cardboard. The belt with 24" and 27" swords costs $150. $210 if you want five swords (24", 27", 29", 31", and 33"). Sorry folks, but I'm not interested. No, unlatching my buckle releases another, much more powerful weapon. Obviously, I'm talking about a flying dragon. *unbuckling* KA-P....uh-oh. Looks like the proverbial chicken has flown the coop. And, oh God -- taken off with the eggs.
Hit the jump to see more of this chick, along with a picture of the system and links to the product page and video demonstrations.
Product Site
and
Product Videos (NOTE: slightly NSFW, autoplays that woman from the first shot whipping the sword out)
Thanks to Spikey DaPikey, who once stabbed a man to death with his own flip-flop.
Reader Comments
1. qwerty - March 9, 2009 10:02 AM
first!!
2. oodles of coodels - March 9, 2009 10:02 AM
show her my belt sword first!
3. Poop fist - March 9, 2009 10:17 AM
EPIC FAIL
4. paineel - March 9, 2009 10:18 AM
I Have a very large belt sword
Or whatever that is I dont know
I just know that my sword was in
God of War 2 it was the sword you kept trying to pull out of the ground
and all your life force was going into my sword and when you were finally done
you were week from using your life force to pull it out and it was only good for 1 good blast that put a hole right on the colosasses belly, but dont worry my sword was good to go again 20 minutes later when Zeus grabbed my sword and started beating me with it and then with one climatic discharge killed my entire army.
if any of you had a dirty thought during that detailed and helpful guide i just gave you then there is something wrong with you perv
5. naas - March 9, 2009 10:18 AM
hawt!
@1 The firstarded have you under a spell, you're losing - save yourself!
6. huh - March 9, 2009 10:39 AM
it seems as though #3 has $hit himself :(
#3?
7. Ryuzaki - March 9, 2009 10:43 AM
I'd defenetly stab her with something...
If i buy one will i get the girl too? Seriously, that's all i care about ahaha
8. Truk - March 9, 2009 10:46 AM
I had to watch that first video 3 times to see them sword- stupid hair/breast glue
9. In Rem - March 9, 2009 10:46 AM
The worst thing ever?
10. Fletch - March 9, 2009 11:30 AM
I was much more interested when she didn't have her clothes on....
11. McFeely Smackup - March 9, 2009 12:16 PM
The deployment #2 video clearly reveals a nipple, and once you get an eye for what her nipple shape is and where it's located, you can clearly find it in #1 as well.
So it's not a total loss, although I would have assumed that the bare MINIMUM effort in a "lets hide a boob but not try to look like we're hiding a boob" arena would involve using fake hair a similar color to the models real hair. I actually didn't even notice the hair color was wrong until about the 3rd watching...I was focused on trying to find the nipple. hah!
Also, the graceful slash video reveals that this chick is so damned stupid, she neither knows what "graceful" or "slash" means.
12. slashdot - March 9, 2009 12:20 PM
I can tell you from experience that whipping around a flexiple strip of steel, sharp or not, is a fast road to losing an ear. I hope this "company" has good lawyers, I'm thinking about suing just for mental anguish.
13. dumbfounded - March 9, 2009 12:22 PM
I have no idea what you are all talking about. I watched the video like 10 times. The chick is wearing a black sweat shirt thing the entire time. And her hair is no where near long enough to touch her shoulders even.... Besides, she a little old for my taste, but to each his own I guess.
14. catch22 - March 9, 2009 12:27 PM
as seen on ruroni kenshin!
15. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - March 9, 2009 12:36 PM
And The Winner of the Product Most Likely to Put Consumer in the ER is....
This stupid f-ing thing.
16. dubba - March 9, 2009 12:38 PM
butterface
17. cthulhulovesyou23 - March 9, 2009 12:40 PM
That first chick is so NOT cute... I'd totally do the gramma, though.
18. O.o - March 9, 2009 1:05 PM
Now THAT'S how you sell a product!
"Want a sword belt? Look at my nipples!"
"I'll take 3!!!"
19. Dinosaur Rex - March 9, 2009 1:48 PM
And while the rapist tries to catch you, you cut off your ear,
"Oh shi- a rapist *while running you cut your ear*
- An ear? WTF
*you run away*"
20. book - March 9, 2009 2:08 PM
seriously, who'd want to rape a chick with no ears? thats like reaaaaly creepy.
21. Milkman - March 9, 2009 2:17 PM
Augh my work proxy won't let me see the nippleage!
22. Cade - March 9, 2009 2:46 PM
I may be strange, but the first thing I thought about were kids wearing these to schools.
23. Peregrinus - March 9, 2009 3:38 PM
Haha, reminds me of the movie Pootie Tang.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pootie_Tang
24. kmath - March 9, 2009 4:19 PM
@3 very good comment. You are so down with how the kids talk.
25. Sauron - March 9, 2009 5:08 PM
Holy crap! I've got a boner like an adult oaktree underneath my chainmail! someone quick climb this tree!
26. Watch - March 9, 2009 5:13 PM
I wonder how many people will try to get these through airports? These might get you arrested for a concealed weapon.
27. formerly SPELLINGNAZI© - March 9, 2009 6:34 PM
@23: You bastard. Thanks for bringing the memory of that movie back up again, I was trying so hard to forget it was even made, let alone that I watched it.
That is the worst movie ever...ever.
...Need more nipple shots now to get that out of my head...or maybe a few verses of "Spoonman."
28. Daisy - March 9, 2009 9:49 PM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max was racing golf carts on the golf course, and rolled it over into the sand trap.
29. UD - March 9, 2009 11:45 PM
You guys really need to read the rest of the site. Apparently, this sword has "Fighter Jet Technology!", because the sword has no sharp edge. It's rounded, like the wing of a fighter jet!
30. formerly SPELLINGNAZI© - March 10, 2009 1:49 AM
@29: Read? Read what? There's a half-naked chick to stare at on video...
31. Spikey DaPikey - March 10, 2009 7:37 AM
@29.....
Yeah, i read that as well, must be reeeeeeel good huh LMFAO !!
Zoink !
32. noob - March 10, 2009 8:03 AM
Brings a whole new meaning to "I'll tan your hide with my belt".
As if knives weren't causing enough problems on the street, now you get action man accessories that can chop off limbs. Personally, I can't wait for the Jimmy Choo ankle scythes.
33. real smart - March 10, 2009 10:55 AM
I agree that the BeltSword System (when concealed outside the customers own private residence) is an illegal concealed weapon.
so the thing is totally useless... lol try walking in the court house with it on
34. can - March 10, 2009 11:12 PM
katana better one :d
35. Martial artist - March 13, 2009 12:00 PM
By the time my opponent had drawn that blade, I would have already buried my 4" folder to its hilt in their chest.
36. Krypt - August 12, 2009 2:05 PM
This thing is useless by the time you get this out you would be Shot dead
37. David Samson - September 27, 2009 8:30 PM
im a better ninja than all those ppl in videos!!! that lady was a biddy though <3