Mar 12 2009Wine: World's Most Complicated Corkscrew
This is the world's most complicated corkscrew. It not only opens a bottle, but pours it into your glass as well. The machine was allegedly made out of 300+ found parts and is going into limited production of 100 units. Which makes me wonder just how "found" the parts really were. Anybody else get the feeling they were "found" in a box of ordered supplies? Clever. But not nearly as clever as my corkscrew, which is a machete. Yeah, I learned the trick watching Big Trouble in Little China. "Nothing or double, Jack". Pork Chop Express FTW!
Now feel free to leave your favorite Big Trouble quote in the comments.
The Corkscrew a Marvel of Mechanical Artistry [uberreview]
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Reader Comments
1. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - March 12, 2009 12:00 PM
GHEY!
2. matt thomas - March 12, 2009 12:01 PM
F-f-f-fith!!!...no really first!!!!
3. aznterrorist - March 12, 2009 12:02 PM
all your base are belong to china..
4. Put a cork in it... - March 12, 2009 12:08 PM
I like to "Soaka da Cork" (SNL)
Great, but I buy cheap wine, and need to put the cork back in after lunch at work... let's see the machine handle that!
5. jamie - March 12, 2009 12:14 PM
found, as in foundry
6. Blush - March 12, 2009 12:19 PM
The little spout on the box that my wine comes in is easier to use.
7. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - March 12, 2009 12:25 PM
@2
F-f-f-fail!
8. Ollie Williams - March 12, 2009 12:25 PM
For anyone interested, the song that plays is:
Honeyroot - Every Single Day
9. Leonidas - March 12, 2009 12:25 PM
This steampunk stuff turns my stomach like clockwork.
10. don - March 12, 2009 12:26 PM
What a waste of brain power.. How about put some thought into something important. Open the bottle with a normal corkscrew, drink the wine and figure out a way to fix the economy.. I bet he is an ex-politician.
11. Lo Pan - March 12, 2009 12:36 PM
"Just remember what ol' Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big ol' storm right square in the eye and he says, "Give me your best shot, pal. I can take it."
12. titan - March 12, 2009 12:56 PM
"you can only enjoy the wine if you put effort into opening it"
what a load~ im sure just about every Sommelier would agree that this thing is dumb~
13. KingPin - March 12, 2009 12:59 PM
Remember: Do not use outside.
Also, the overhaul that has to take place every 3-5 years. No new parts? Improvise...
14. Elmo - March 12, 2009 1:09 PM
That was the most dramatic presentation of a corkscrew I've seen in a long time..
15. naas - March 12, 2009 1:24 PM
So awesome that big trouble in little china finally made the tags
16. B - March 12, 2009 1:26 PM
Too much manual effort in order to get drunk :-/
17. Pat - March 12, 2009 1:31 PM
@14 Have you seen many dramatic presentations of a corkscrew?
18. book - March 12, 2009 1:39 PM
thats so steampunk its not funny
19. Daniel C - March 12, 2009 1:42 PM
I guess it doesnt like to let the wine breathe a while.
20. RK - March 12, 2009 1:44 PM
oooo... Now that I have relocated the cardboard refrigerator box I live in to a spot with free wireless access, this would be the perfect accoutrement and conversation piece when I invite other winos over to visit!
21. Tom - March 12, 2009 1:44 PM
"What a waste of brain power.. How about put some thought into something important. Open the bottle with a normal corkscrew, drink the wine and figure out a way to fix the economy."
Unfortunately, one cannot choose what ideas to have. If you are hit by the inspiration to create a heap of useless, inefficient shit like this (I'd be inclined to forgive it if it actually showed some kind of artistry in its design, i.e. if it were sleek and elegant instead of a hulking mass that would dwarf a power loom), that's what you build, you don't put it off in the hope that maybe a better idea for curing cancer will come along later. (Of course, if you do subsequently get hit with the idea that will save humanity whilst building the wretched thing, but don't pursue it, then you probably are a bit of an idiot)
22. Ocelot - March 12, 2009 2:23 PM
That was like watching the season finale of Dawson's Creek.
23. Glasfeena - March 12, 2009 2:30 PM
China is here, Mr. Burton.
24. Dave - March 12, 2009 2:53 PM
What does that mean? "China is here". I don't even know what the hell that means. All I know is this Lo Pan character comes out of thin air in the middle of a damn alley, while his buddies are flying around on wires cuttin' everybody to shreds. And he just stands there, waiting for me to drive my truck straight through him, with LIGHT coming out of his mouth?!?
25. Rami - March 12, 2009 3:11 PM
When some wild eyed, eight foot tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail."
26. Freddy K - March 12, 2009 3:23 PM
Lo Pan? Which Lo Pan? The little old basket case on wheels or the ten foot tall roadblock?
27. QUASIMODEM - March 12, 2009 4:08 PM
People need to stop blithering "heeeuurgh steampukncjk". IDIOTS. DO EVEN KNOW WHAT "STEAMPUNK" IS? This is a piece of engineering, not a keyboard a loser in a shed has retrofitted with brass knobs.
Jesus CHRIST what a bunch of SPASTICS
28. formerly SPELLINGNAZI© - March 12, 2009 5:12 PM
Here I was thinking it'd be a cool Rube Goldberg machine...nope...just a piece of corporate kitsch. It looks like it's useless after the first pour too.
29. Atlanta Grape Lady - March 12, 2009 5:47 PM
Stop. oh oh oh ooooooooooooh ohh oooooh oh ooh ooooooooooooooh
ow ow ow ooooooooh stop oh stop ooh ooooooooh oh oh oooooooooh
I can't breathe ohhhh stop uh uh ooooooooooooooh
30. Melissa - March 12, 2009 7:09 PM
tampon remover !
31. dave - March 12, 2009 7:40 PM
Hm... i think its really cool. Yeah its ridiculous. But think about owning that thing! I love love to have that my living room.
32. Lowlands - March 12, 2009 8:12 PM
Awesome!
33. R2-D2 - March 12, 2009 8:15 PM
Beep! Victorian robot! Blip!
34. LD - March 13, 2009 3:22 AM
"What's that?"
"Black blood of the Earth."
"Oil?"
"No. Black blood of the Earth."
35. Johnson - March 13, 2009 5:54 AM
I'm not crying... there's just something in my eye...
36. Bridget - March 13, 2009 4:42 PM
"You know what Jack Burton says at time like this?"
"Who?"
"Jack Burton. Me!"
37. Modern Day John Wayne - March 13, 2009 5:16 PM
May the wings of Liberty never lose a feather.
38. Kup - March 15, 2009 6:35 PM
@21, thats exactly what I was going to type. what a waste of ficking brain power. no wonder the poor hate the rich fuc'ks that invent this shi't.
39. Mr Hobbes - March 17, 2009 11:39 AM
Jack Burton: Hey, what more can a guy ask for?
Egg Shen: Oh, the six-demon bag!
Jack Burton: Terrific, a six-demon bag. Sensational. What's in it, Egg?
Egg Shen: Wind, fire, all that kind of thing!
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