Mar 11 2009They're After Our Children!: Robot Substitute
Have kids? Well you won't for long if Saya, the robot substitute, has her way. The harbinger of death is allegedly multilingual, capable of calling roll, reading, and assigning work from textbooks. Also, scaring the shit out of your children.
Behind her latex face -- modeled on a university student -- 18 motors create expressions including happiness, surprise, fear, disgust, sadness and even anger.
Saya will start teaching after passing a trial term at a Tokyo primary.Her creator, science professor Hiroshi Kobayashi, had been working on the robot for 15 years.
Wow, robotic substitutes -- what will they think of next? Robotic cafeteria ladies? That would suck, because I'm a boy that needs extra fish sticks, and you can't bribe a robot. Or can you? Hey Roomba, I'll oil you if you clean under the bed really well. *BEEP BOP BEEP* DOES NOT COMPUTE. You piece of shit, I knew I never should have WOOTed you.
Hit the jump to see what your robotic substitute looks like with no face.
Top Terminator [thesun]
Thanks to Romeo and Bourtney, who changed the clock to be ten minutes fast when the substitute wasn't looking so they could get out of class early.
Reader Comments
1. jared - March 11, 2009 3:02 PM
first
2. jared - March 11, 2009 3:03 PM
that robot is creepy
3. naas - March 11, 2009 3:08 PM
Gay-terminator is happy today
4. heftyjake - March 11, 2009 3:08 PM
How the heck would it enforce anything. Laserbeam eyes anyone?
5. Daniel - March 11, 2009 3:09 PM
kids don't respect living substitutes, who knows what they would do to that thing.
6. jared - March 11, 2009 3:09 PM
laser beam eyes would be awsome!
7. paineel - March 11, 2009 3:14 PM
holy moly i had sex with that, i plugged her into my usb port and away she went.
But seriously if i was a teacher i would be scared, and colleges around the world better join the teachers and smash the robot uprise because I bet people that used to work in factories were thinking man robots cant do what we can..
you have to be f ing kidding because robots can fly planes, better then we can, do surgery, better then we can, and in Total recal drive taxi cabs, not so much better but at least dont smell of jerky and curry and let you pick the music.
8. Amanda Heironimus - March 11, 2009 3:14 PM
What would kids do with a robot substitute? Anyone remember the fax machine scene from Office Space? B#tch is going to end up scattered across a field somewhere (pardon my French). They'll be lucky to find the dentures.
~a
9. paineel - March 11, 2009 3:16 PM
but really if you ever seen the cartoon peanuts we all saw this coming
woa womp womp waaa DEATH KILL ALL HUMANS womp woaa womp the kids are all scared in the class, ever notice how charlie brown was build?? thats because the robot teacher would preform surgeries on charlie brown and sclap his anus on a daily basis, fight the robots of FIST
10. jared - March 11, 2009 3:25 PM
WE SHOULD KILL THE MACHINES BE4 THEY KILL US DEATH 2 THE MACHINES!!! ILL STRT BY CHUCKING MY COMPUTER OUT OF THE WINDOW!
11. jared - March 11, 2009 3:27 PM
lol jk i wouldnt chuck my computer out of the window thata a little 2 drastic
12. paineel - March 11, 2009 3:32 PM
i might throw my friends copmuter out the window, so he has to buy a new one and then i can play wow on his computer by taking out his mother board and putting it into mine, lolol muhahahhahaha and then put mine in his, be like have fun running wow off a 450mhz 16 ram P1 hehe suckaaaa and 5 gig of hardrive
man anyone else sexually excited?
13. jared - March 11, 2009 3:34 PM
lol wow sounds like an awsome game
14. jared - March 11, 2009 3:38 PM
i think i might try it
15. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - March 11, 2009 3:44 PM
I'd hit it
16. SomeENG - March 11, 2009 3:46 PM
....that one girls doing blow
17. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - March 11, 2009 3:46 PM
You guys forget, this is happening in a country where education is looked at much differently...
CREEPY!
18. bgb - March 11, 2009 3:57 PM
ummm... serious?
19. jared - March 11, 2009 4:00 PM
yup there serious
20. meme - March 11, 2009 4:05 PM
Wow. That would never work. I'm a sub and it sucks balls. The kids are miserable little bastards. Yeah, they'd sit there and just do their work. Uh huh. They'd kill each other and the robot without any real supervision.
21. jared - March 11, 2009 4:11 PM
maybe ur right maybe they will kill the robot and each other and if u know 4 a fact they will u should hide a video camera in the class room so when it happens u can show the world.
22. Elwood Moose - March 11, 2009 4:24 PM
WTF!!!
My first accepted submission to Geekologie, and I don;t even get a credit saying.. "Special thanks to ELWOOD MOOSE who had a grade three teacher who really touched him in a special way".
Eff you, GW.
*Edit* Sorry... I didn't mean to be snippy. I'm just a dedicated fan, and well.. you hurt me GW. Can we still be friends? No weirdness between us? Cool. Bff? No? Too soon? Cool...cool.
23. msjessiemeghan - March 11, 2009 4:49 PM
Is this the time of day where everyones ADD meds are wearing off? Because mine sure are!
Also, that robot would get DESTROYED in about 3.2 seconds, in America, because thats how we roll! And probably every where else not Japan.
24. Snoodle - March 11, 2009 4:54 PM
Besides being hella creepy, how would you ask it anything/it know if people are leaving the room...?
25. livingjetlag - March 11, 2009 5:04 PM
Roll Call:
"Mary Anderson?"
"Here!"
"John Bayes?"
"Here!"
"Beuller... Beuller... Beuller..."
...
"Sarah Connor?"
"Here!"
PEW PEW PEW!!
26. Milkman - March 11, 2009 6:54 PM
Can we take the dentures out and convert it to hookerbot? I bet it could suck a golfball through a hose!
27. Tennist0 - March 11, 2009 8:15 PM
its eyeing the kid in red, i can tell... i can also tell you that none of those kids will be comenting on this forum... you know why
28. bendizle - March 11, 2009 8:53 PM
can you ...can you still have teacher-student sex with it?
29. bob - March 11, 2009 11:34 PM
today it is robot substitute, tomorrow it is robot prostitute
30. Alex - March 11, 2009 11:45 PM
What do you think that thing is going to teach the kids? Robots are your masters. Yes kids. Robots are your masters. Now give me an oil lubrication.
31. Ginormagantuan - March 12, 2009 6:59 AM
That thing is probably smarter than half the teachers in american public schools!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
32. Leonidas - March 12, 2009 8:52 AM
Am I the only one who sees the scary resemblance that this thing bears to Don the Dragon Wilson?
@ jared: I'd like to suggest a fun new drug for you - it's called Ritalin.
33. bla - March 12, 2009 10:31 AM
What a complete failure as a teacher! it can't even prevent that kid in front from snorting blow off of her assignment.
34. mike - March 12, 2009 10:53 AM
that is some freaky shit man............... wait can it spell check my dick and grade it acordingly
35. Bobby James McGruder - March 12, 2009 12:45 PM
Uh, you do realize that this thing is the damn Terminator, right?
36. joeyb212 - March 13, 2009 2:33 PM
GW is a wooter like me!
37. BOOM! - March 13, 2009 4:10 PM
as so as the classroom door is closed I will beat the shit out of that bitch
38. alexzippy - March 13, 2009 5:30 PM
some say if you kill one of those things, two more come back in it's place
39. natasha - April 27, 2009 3:28 AM
omg wtf
40. esta - January 2, 2010 8:51 AM
i think that would be very usefull .. why not?? why you have afraid from these ,, because u with a teachers could do everything ee?? but with a robots u can't .. if u thing that are powerfull and inteligent ,, first of all .. agree with these,, and later we are going to see other things
41. kris - February 1, 2010 2:43 PM
wow idk what to think. i feel bad for those kids. i already hav nightmares bout stuff like that i can't believe thats even happening. if i knew my kid was getting taught by a robot i would enroll them out. you cant trust robots they could snap just like that or break down and then the kids really would get out of control!!! why are we doing this to our world we are just killing ourself. before you know it we'll all just die away.
42. obsługa informatyczna firm - March 12, 2010 8:12 AM
I prefer human teachers