Mar 4 2009Star Trek Inspired Colognes Coming Soon To A Galaxy Near You (Hint: The Milky Way)
What could possibly be better than smelling like the original Star Trek television series? Nothing! Well, besides smelling like me. *WHIFF* Mmmm, chili-cheese dogs. Really drives the bitches wild. I'm serious, Chloe and Ginger are literally fighting over my shirt. CUT IT OUT YOU TWO -- no walk later unless you're good! Created by Genki Wear, there will be three different scents to choose from:
Tiberius
The Tiberius cologne, named in honor of the Mirror Universe James T. Kirk's challenges users to "Boldly Go" with a perfume described as being spiked with "notes of freshness and sensuality.
Red Shirt
Genki's "Red Shirt" cologne (whose tag line "Because Tomorrow May Never Come" is priceless) celebrates the sacrifices of those often nameless crew of the USS Enterprise. Described appropriately as a cologne for those with a "devotion to living each day as it could be your last" the cologne has top notes of green mandarin, bergamot, and lavender, with base notes of leather and grey musk.
Pon Farr
The most risqué titled of the new Star Trek fragrances is "Ponn Farr" which is a perfume designed to "drive him wild." It should only be used once every seven years (okay, that isn't true). Named for the Vulcan mating ritual first introduced in the episode "Amok Time," this perfume is one of the newly designed products meant to appeal to female fans.
Eh, I'm not crazy about any of them. No, I think I'll be saving my fragrance dollar for Eau de KHAAAAAAAN!
Hit the jump for a picture of Tiberius.
Trek Spring Collection Preview: First Look At Genki Star Trek Fragrances [trekmovie]
Thanks to Adrian, whose natural pheromones women find irresistible. PEW PEW!
Reader Comments
1. formerly SPELLINGNAZI© - March 4, 2009 5:28 PM
Amusing...pointless yet amusing.
2. boxofwine - March 4, 2009 5:38 PM
smell to the power of nerd!
3. Will Fealey - March 4, 2009 5:39 PM
I prefer the sex panther cologne.
4. Pew³ - March 4, 2009 5:49 PM
It's illegal in nine countries... Yep, it's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good.
5. Ocelot - March 4, 2009 5:52 PM
Nothing could make this not nerdy.
6. Me - March 4, 2009 5:52 PM
Does it smell like the people themselves? Mm.. Picard.
7. CaptainMorgan - March 4, 2009 6:00 PM
These will only attract Star Trek fans...who are 100% male.
Agreed that Sex Panther is the way to go...it gets you the Ladies. This is my choice. Ron Burgundy CAN'T be wrong (he gots Christina Applegate!!!)
8. V - March 4, 2009 6:11 PM
Man, now people will be able to decipher who likes Star Trek and who doesn't based just on smell.
9. gizmoduck - March 4, 2009 6:15 PM
make me a holodeck
10. Cade - March 4, 2009 6:31 PM
#8
...You mean we couldn't before?
11. krespie - March 4, 2009 6:53 PM
Good call, Cade. I was going to say the same thing. Exactly.
12. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - March 4, 2009 7:39 PM
My mom's a Trekkie, and would love this. She's also allergic to most perfumes... Damn you universe! Why!?!? Why do you vex me?!?!?
13. Kup - March 4, 2009 8:14 PM
great. so there will be this cumulative stench at all trekkie conventions that may or may not impact global warming.
I think they're getting to focused. They should have more hip scents; like:
"Scotty". with a slight hint of scotch whiskey
"Tribble" with the slight hint of a powdered donut
"Ohura" with the slight hint of 7 herbs and spices
"Chekov" with the slight hint of old fish eggs
"Sulu" wth the slight hint of soy sauce.
14. naas - March 4, 2009 8:18 PM
Naas is with most of you, it's too nerdy for considering
15. Captain Captain - March 4, 2009 8:43 PM
I'm buying Red Shirt, because damn if I don't have things trying to kill me all the time. This morning even, the gas strut in my seat exploded. RIght after my cell phone. Plus, I think my Master Chief figurine is really a decepticon, and will kill me in my sleep.
Bah! I spend too much time here!
16. timmy the dying boy - March 4, 2009 9:29 PM
If the shirt is red, the man is dead!
17. Courtney - March 4, 2009 10:55 PM
Hahah that's so funny..... by the way hopefully thislll strike your fancy:http://www.snazl.com/user
18. teh_drunk - March 4, 2009 11:19 PM
TEH ENTERPRSIE HAASS ALL MUY BEEER!!
BEEEAA<MM
MHYVODKA SCOOOTTEEI,
TEH DRNUK WATNS A REFILL!1!!1!!
19. Daisy (TRO) - March 4, 2009 11:23 PM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake bacause the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie NEver BAck Down where MAx was trying on his old bunny costume, after being fired from his job. Some arsonists tasunted him, lit the palce on fire and took off. As Max tried to put the fire out a sneaky spy took pictures that made it look like he set the blaze.
Later the rtuth came out though and MAx was completely exonerated.
20. H2Oat32 - March 4, 2009 11:36 PM
Does anyone else notice how the white glare over the words below "RED SHIRT" highlights this?
becaUSE tomorrow
may NEVER come
really? Use never? DONE
21. Elboroto - March 5, 2009 12:24 AM
Put some cologne on, you smell like a Klingon.
22. Pat - March 5, 2009 9:10 AM
This has to be the greatest thing I've seen all day.
23. OJ's Mom - March 5, 2009 9:15 AM
60% of the time it works every time.
Damnit, one more thing I have to buy for my Star Trek shelf to ensure 100% virginity for eternity. LOL'z.
Sad, depressing, lonely LOL'z.
*sigh*
Need a woman.
24. Morganzola - March 5, 2009 9:30 AM
#13 Major LOL!
Add one more:
"Klingon" featuring the aromatic musk of forehead butt and beef jerky.
25. jumpin_j - March 5, 2009 12:44 PM
Remember, people who wore Red Shirt in the TV show always DIED!!! Now that's marketing.
26. Davo - March 5, 2009 12:51 PM
Live long and perspire
27. formerly SPELLINGNAZI© - March 5, 2009 8:48 PM
@25: Thank you Captain James T. Obvious.
28. NightHawk - March 5, 2009 9:09 PM
8 , ... Well it's a hell of a lot better than B.O I'm sure. But you're right. I'd like to smell like, ... Captain Jane ways Vagina R O T F L ... 7 of 9 ... ! O M G ... This would make lonely Nerds all over the planet Oh, So Happy...
14# ...%48%6F%77%20%69%6E%20%74%68%65%20%48%65%6C%6C%20%63%61%6E%20%53%74%61%72%20%54%72%65%6B%20%43%6F%6C%6F%67%6E%65%20%62%65%20%74%6F%6F%20%4E%65%72%64%79%3F%21%20%4E%6F%2E%2E%2E%20%59%6F%75%72%20%61%20%57%48%4F%52%45%21%20%49%20%68%65%61%72%64%20%74%68%61%74%20%66%72%6F%6D%20%61%20%6D%6F%76%69%65%20%6F%6E%65%20%74%69%6D%65%2C%2E%2E%2E%49%20%74%68%69%6E%6B%20%69%74%73%20%74%6F%74%61%6C%6C%79%20%66%69%74%74%69%6E%67%20%72%69%67%68%74%20%6E%6F%77%2E%2E%2E%20%4F%5F%4F%20%20%52%65%73%69%73%74%61%6E%63%65%20%69%73%20%46%55%54%49%4C%45%21%00
29. undrgrndgirl - March 6, 2009 6:24 PM
why would anyone want to smell like a redshirt???? they're the ones that always die !!