Mar 29 2009ShamWow Guy ShamPows Hooker's Face
First of all, Vince Shlomi, the ShamWow guy, is 44 years old. In the infomercials he doesn't look a day over a very douchey 25. Secondly, a $1,000 hooker tried biting his tongue off during a sexual encounter at a South Beach hotel and Vince was forced to ShamPow her in the face until she let go. Damn, that is some freaky cannibal S & M shit. And lastly, since when is being the ShamWow guy not enough to get a dude laid for free? Next thing you know you'll tell me Ron Popeil isn't sticking his Solid Flavor Injector to a bunch of groupies. Now back me up here, Ron. Ron? What do you mean you're a 'Pocket Fisherman'?
Hit the jump for a raggedly looking ShamWow guy and hooker.
ShamWow Guy In Slap, Chop Bust [thesmokinggun]
Thanks to Anna, Vossk, Jacen and Billy Mays, who once killed a hooker and didn't have to ShamWow up any blood because they were smart enough to use a tarp.
Reader Comments
1. Jon - March 29, 2009 12:27 PM
Wow, Vince is such a badass... SHAMPOW
2. antoine bugleboy - March 29, 2009 12:27 PM
whoa superfish and GW putting up the same story? this must be big.
anyway - your post has pics of the hooker, so you win!
3. T-bird - March 29, 2009 12:32 PM
First
But seriously, he looks like sling blade in the police photos
4. Slap chop - March 29, 2009 12:35 PM
You're gonna love my nuts
5. Slap chop - March 29, 2009 12:35 PM
You're gonna love my nuts
6. Slap chop - March 29, 2009 12:36 PM
You're gonna love my nuts
7. Somebody - March 29, 2009 12:38 PM
I bet the ShamWow execs are crying right now...luckily they have plenty of ShamWows to soak up those tears....ZING!
8. gizmoduck - March 29, 2009 12:38 PM
did he at least finish?
9. gizmoduck - March 29, 2009 12:38 PM
did he Shamwow the blood off of him?
10. DanDan - March 29, 2009 12:41 PM
now he needs a shaWow to wipe up the last little bits of his shameWow off the ground.
11. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - March 29, 2009 12:45 PM
That hooker was really, really, really sick of his commercials... ShamOw...
12. zeus - March 29, 2009 12:54 PM
it's just ShamTastic!
13. Bagface - March 29, 2009 12:59 PM
so much win it fails?
14. blindkangaroo - March 29, 2009 1:04 PM
That hooker looks pretty hot, anyone got her number!
15. Josh G - March 29, 2009 1:15 PM
First he gets put at #26 on the 100 unsexiest men and now this? Sucks to be him!
16. scamwow - March 29, 2009 1:18 PM
wonder if he cleaned the blood with the shamwow
17. Tennist0 - March 29, 2009 1:27 PM
lol, i always knew he was up to no good since he said something about nothing bad comming from germany
18. Tennist0 - March 29, 2009 1:29 PM
wait, so he slap chopped her for biting him and then shamwowed the blood? epic! way to plan things out before hand Vince! he knew this would happen so he got into the infomercial business
19. Spider - March 29, 2009 1:31 PM
hahahahaha, I love how everyone has a shamwowistic comment to say, lol keep them coming!
20. Jayfournines - March 29, 2009 1:37 PM
That chick is worth a thousand bucks!? damn
21. Mr.NiceGuy - March 29, 2009 1:44 PM
Dude... she is HOT!!! Damn... wish I would have got to her sooner!
22. Darth - March 29, 2009 1:52 PM
Isn't there really something happening!? Or do we have to take care of some 'excitement' ourselves again!??
23. shibby - March 29, 2009 1:53 PM
I wonder if when he bought the hooker he got a second one free.
24. Cyke101 - March 29, 2009 1:57 PM
How the hell does he look so different from TV? Makeup and good lighting can't do that much. Do they photoshop every single frame and still in each commercial?
25. Jonathan - March 29, 2009 2:02 PM
I wonder if Billy Mays sent him that hooker to destroy the threat against his infomercial empire.
Trained to kill by his beard, and made to obey by months of brain washing with Oxi Clean.
26. Bill O'reily - March 29, 2009 2:02 PM
I recently reviewed the ShamWow on my show, and I must say, the f*cking thing sucks!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3NXMrSKBJA&feature=related
I also tested out the hooker, and came to the same conclusion. Well worth $1000
27. Gando - March 29, 2009 2:07 PM
He looks like a boxer with sheep hair!
28. ShamWOW - March 29, 2009 2:18 PM
I thought his name was Vince Offer...?
April Fools joke, I'm calling it. :B
29. MSAllison - March 29, 2009 2:18 PM
Shouldn't this be on The Superficial?
30. Moose Knuckle - March 29, 2009 2:25 PM
I'd hit it
31. theophany - March 29, 2009 2:26 PM
gave that bitch a SLAM CHOP
32. T-urd - March 29, 2009 2:45 PM
T-bird... who says "first" anymore?
That's lame... especially when you're third.
33. Darth - March 29, 2009 2:52 PM
Why do many ugly people have fast and smooth talks!?? It's almost like it's their last thing to hang on!
34. Peach - March 29, 2009 2:57 PM
REAL!!!
This is a total and complete real picture. you can tell its legit because the shadow's are exactly right.
this is like in the scene in always back down where jack shoves a battery up his ass and say's "I GOT THE POWER" and then baja looks at him and yells at him for being a retard then he shampows his face
35. GhettoT - March 29, 2009 3:17 PM
First!
I wanna see her "before" pictures.
36. Daisy - March 29, 2009 3:23 PM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max went over to Bajas house to help her dad clean up the yard a little. Her dad dug up the dead hookers, and they both cut them into pieces, and then they put them through the wood chipper. Baja's dad has found that leaving hookers in the ground for 4 months allows them to reach the peak of perfection when used as a garden fertilizer. The older ones can be ground into a powder to feed the lawn.
37. scurl - March 29, 2009 3:25 PM
this reminds me of the time that i actually lol'd at a geekology post.
huh...pocket fisherman.
"Please stay with me now
Don't you let me go
I'll make it Shamwow
I got to let you know
That I'll make it
Shamwow, Shamway
Though I wait on the day
What I'm doing's gotta pay
Shamway, Shamwow"
-chaka khan
38. maltovstorm - March 29, 2009 4:41 PM
her shirts on backwards
39. Cade - March 29, 2009 5:18 PM
@38 -- And inside out.
40. JK - March 29, 2009 5:24 PM
Someone should really ShamPow that annoying douche bag. Fu cking annoying commercials...
41. Superman - March 29, 2009 5:38 PM
I like his jacket.
42. Tennist0 - March 29, 2009 5:55 PM
@40- dont worry, ill give him the old slap chop if i see him
43. formerly SPELLINGNAZI© - March 29, 2009 6:21 PM
So THAT's why you don't kiss a hooker...got it....
44. phoring - March 29, 2009 7:32 PM
So hookers will do anything but kiss? You learn something new everyday.
45. R2-D2 - March 29, 2009 7:45 PM
Bop,beep! Wow! Blip!
46. JJtoob - March 29, 2009 7:46 PM
He should be glad it was his tongue and not his shameDong. But for a grand? Please, he should have got his injectors manually cleaned out, all fluids replaced wheels rotated and free lube, and I mean his car becuase taking out that engine is a pain in the neck.
47. JJtoob - March 29, 2009 7:50 PM
"because* taking..."
48. Matt - March 29, 2009 7:52 PM
Favorite...guy...ever...
49. timmy the dying boy - March 29, 2009 9:31 PM
C'mon, she was just trying to do EVERY LIVING THING ON THE PLANET a favor by de-tonguing him.
50. kh - March 29, 2009 9:32 PM
wow, hooker looks pretty proud of herself.
51. azalea - March 29, 2009 9:34 PM
Looks from here like she won the fight.
52. the Commish - March 29, 2009 10:31 PM
FAIL!! This post fails on so many levels. Who the hell cares!?
This is just like that time some crazy lady thought her husband might be cheating on her. She became so enraged with hatred that she decided it'd be pretty darn cool to chop off his man parts and throw them out in the yard. Of course, she had to wait until he was asleep.
Luckily somebody's dog got loose earlier in the morning and ended up finding his missing part, thinking it was a hot dog. A local EMS unit also happened to be training for an upcoming charity hot dog eating contest and chased after the dog when they thought he'd stolen one of their hot dogs. They were surprised to find that a local had lost his hot dog to a crazy wife just shortly before and they had a good laugh when the dog finally hacked his missing part back up into his water bowl. Dog water!
53. PEWPEW - March 29, 2009 10:34 PM
He was making her skinny one slap at a time, making America a better place.
54. HunnyBear - March 29, 2009 10:38 PM
ha! what a douche! have u guys ever seen his commercials in spanish? hilarious!
55. Babbage - March 29, 2009 10:54 PM
Yeah - she does look a little bit too happy in that second picture... my guess is that she did this just to get some attention... shame on her - looking for fame at the expense of poor Vince. What has the world come to when a damn pseudo-celebrity-infomercial star can't drop a grand on a hooker without getting his damn tongue nearly bitten off?
I hope he got his money back at least - unless she at least had the decency to finish before she called the cops.
56. Cade - March 29, 2009 11:15 PM
Gosh, the audacity of hookers these days. Vince is going to have to promote an anti-hooker spray when he gets out of jail.
57. awdwf - March 29, 2009 11:40 PM
SHAMWOW!!
58. derrick - March 30, 2009 12:31 AM
I have a strange desire to just beat the shit out of that guy, like an ugly dog or something.
59. dennis - March 30, 2009 2:24 AM
the guys shirt...it looks like it's a paper towel's design.
60. Vince Lombardi - March 30, 2009 2:52 AM
I'm calling shenanigans. Vince Slap-Chop Shlomi has very brown eyes. Not so in the mug shot. Eyebrows are wrong. Hairline at the temple is off. Nose is wrong. Right ear lobe is against the side of Vince's head (yeah, I know he's wearing a head-mic) but the mug guy has twice as much hair and his ears stick way out. This guy resembles Vince, but that's all.
61. Brian Jacobflakes - March 30, 2009 3:33 AM
Who can't have a Shamwow joke used against them?
62. lala - March 30, 2009 6:16 AM
Is her shirt on backwards?
63. Leonidas - March 30, 2009 7:51 AM
@59: those are obviously his jammies... please don't tell me this guy faces criminal charges for this?! Although I do think the hooker should be let off the hook for looking so damn pleased with herself.
64. Madgame - March 30, 2009 8:47 AM
Funny post GW!
65. Anna - March 30, 2009 9:55 AM
Enjoy a photo inspired by this amazing story! :)
http://blog.annachristine.com/2009/03/shamwow-guy-punches-hooker/
66. Rod - March 30, 2009 10:20 AM
I just had to comment on the brilliant use of Ron Propeil's "Solid Flavor Injector." Bravo. That got a real life LOL.
67. BigDumDav - March 30, 2009 11:31 AM
"You bite'n me hooker lady?"
68. ech0z - March 30, 2009 11:41 AM
lol, she got SHAMPOWWWED!!
and lol at @34, u and daisy be buttbuddies??
69. cccc - March 30, 2009 2:46 PM
they really mean it when they say NO KISSING!
70. Milkman - March 30, 2009 3:27 PM
Wow that guy hit the wall in his mugshot pictures, he looks great on TV for his age
71. Mike - March 30, 2009 3:46 PM
Her eyes are about 9 inches apart. Not worth 1k to me.
72. Sanjuro - March 30, 2009 4:19 PM
A friend sent me a link to the prostitute's mugshot "After" photo:
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_bYNe5M92tHo/SdDWsb1uKPI/AAAAAAAABiQ/o5126pcO164/s1600-h/shamwow4.jpg
Pretty damn messed up!
73. Stephanie - March 30, 2009 6:09 PM
Old.
@28, he does go by Vince Offer, but he said in an interview with CNN that his father is Israeli and his first name is actually Offer. The producer of The Underground Comedy Movie is Mark Shlomi, which could definitely be a relative.
@60
The Shamwow was back in 2006, so he could look younger. He resembles the mugshot a bit more in the SlapChop. From the same CNN interview (talking about getting recognized on the street): "My hair doesn’t normally look like that. I spiked it up because I was thinking about people falling asleep at 2 a.m. and I needed to wake them up. Plus, I gained 10 pounds. "
74. Madgame - March 30, 2009 8:24 PM
I wonder if he used a ShamWow to clean up his tongue blood.
75. Joey Funk - March 30, 2009 8:43 PM
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1616548&l=9d5a4ec399&id=518522746
76. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - March 31, 2009 8:08 AM
@72
Sexy!
77. groupshoes - October 21, 2009 3:02 AM
Nice airtical, i would like to tell all of my friends about it. By the way, i would like to introduce everyone of you a very nice website, it offers cheap air max trainers for men and women. Such as Air max 1, air max 2, air max 90, nike air max 2009+, air max 2010 new, nike air max TN, nike air ltd trainers, air max 95. Dunk SB shoes, nike shox shoes. You can find almost all the nike series there, in huge collection and varies colorways. They have Latest style and classic style. Though their price are low, don't worry about it's quality. They are realll ones!!! I have bought from them for so many times, and very satisfied with the their goods and service. Come on, you'll love it.