Mar 31 2009Man Scores DUI On Homemade Barstool Kart
Kile Wygle (awesome name), 28, recently received a DUI after crashing his homemade bar-stool kart (pictured) and calling 911.
Kile crashed his bar stool near his Newark home earlier this month and called 911 due to his injuries. When an officer arrived and asked Wygle what happened, he answered, "I wrecked my bar stool." According to a Newark Police Division report, a copy of which you'll find here, Wygle's homemade ride is powered by a Briggs & Stratton lawnmower engine. Wygle noted that the bar stool could hit nearly 40 miles per hour, but that he was only going 20 when he wiped out late in the afternoon on March 4 (a witness told police that he spotted someone driving a "strange motorized machine" before the crash). A plastered Wygle, who failed a series of field sobriety tests, was charged with DUI and driving with a suspended license, both misdemeanors. His bar stool was not impounded.
Damnit Kile, why'd you have to go and call the cops? You should have just brushed yourself off and then popped wheelies all the way home. You could have been Rad to the power of Sick! But nooooo. Now you're just DUI to the power of APB: Kile's riding his bar-stool drunk again. You failure.
Cops Bust Stool Fool [thesmokinggun]
Thanks to Jerkster, Just...A Guy, Timo, Stacey, Chris and BiSScuiTT, who are all smart enough to drive on the sidewalk.
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Reader Comments
1. BOOM! - March 31, 2009 4:47 PM
FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. 24bit-whore - March 31, 2009 4:47 PM
Are you happy now Watch??
3. naas - March 31, 2009 4:48 PM
@1 = http://www.rfjason.com/temp/Fortuny-Douchebag.jpg
4. Milkman - March 31, 2009 4:49 PM
What a tard. Why call 911? Did you need an ambulance?
5. Angel Mass - March 31, 2009 4:53 PM
One step closer to a real life Mario Kart
6. Manuel Gonzales - March 31, 2009 4:55 PM
40 MPH on that thing is a death wish.
7. HEY - March 31, 2009 5:02 PM
can't we all just get along @3=you just pissed because you ask your boyfriend last night for a little something-something and he kicked you in the balls and said to go fizz yourself
8. naas - March 31, 2009 5:15 PM
hahaha yeah? Go fizz myself? That's kind of funny
9. che-che - March 31, 2009 5:47 PM
fizz yourself, what is that british slang. ya homo!
10. Pew³ - March 31, 2009 6:20 PM
fizzing yourself is similar to a Cincinati Bowtie, except upside down with a carbonated soda of your choice.
11. naas - March 31, 2009 6:28 PM
Thanks for the insight, sounds a lot like an abe lincoln also
12. Watch - March 31, 2009 6:29 PM
here it is, like i posted in the comments section of the other articles. this shit is funny, you might be a redneck if.
13. Nick - March 31, 2009 6:38 PM
Thats my hometown. Newark, Ohio ftw
14. hollywood_hillbilly - March 31, 2009 7:12 PM
Sharing a name with a town in New Jersey is the opposite of win. Seriously though, this is why I would never get a vehicle with on-star.
15. Sauron - March 31, 2009 7:32 PM
Finally a kart what's suitable for me! Ergonomics!?
16. Daisy - March 31, 2009 7:32 PM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fgake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never BAck Down where Max built a go-cart for 2 and drove baja around in it. He'd drive and she would ride in the back ansd throw bananas at the folks behind them.
17. Rhialto - March 31, 2009 7:38 PM
It's all about low fuel consumption! He should have used a foot rest!
18. Galtacticus - March 31, 2009 7:41 PM
Except the drunk driving,it's quite creative:) Well done!
19. naas drinking vodka - March 31, 2009 8:22 PM
I love this channel
20. Scott - March 31, 2009 11:43 PM
useful .............www.uniformmate.com
21. formerly SPELLINGNAZI© - April 1, 2009 12:17 AM
@11: Did you say "Abe Lincoln?"
No, I said "Hey Blinkin."
22. Chris - April 1, 2009 12:35 AM
hold the reigns man.
23. Remo - April 1, 2009 1:30 AM
Can it shoot green shells!??!??!?
24. Remo - April 1, 2009 1:34 AM
Wait. Cancel that. Mario Kart already done... must... reach... nexus...
25. Melissa - April 1, 2009 4:43 AM
How hilarious must be to watch that guy, after a night of drinking, turning that shit on, like a lawnmower.
26. softlicious - April 1, 2009 5:04 AM
A Bar... A Bar WHAT? A Bar-WHAT? A Bar-WHAT?
A Bar - X!
X stands for:
http://www.fundistraction.com/2007/08/poop-like-pastries.html
They are all eatables too, makes you wonder, isn't flushing such a waste? I mean if you ate it once you might as well give it another go and those specimens on the link above looks delicious.
27. iknowaeiou - April 1, 2009 5:42 AM
notice the two skateboard wheels in the back - that's thinking ahead.
28. Jalom - April 1, 2009 6:15 AM
We have crazy kart guy in France too :
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x7lni3_mario-kart-remi-gaillard_fun
29. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - April 1, 2009 7:44 AM
Only in Ohio. What a tard.
30. SmokingGirl - April 1, 2009 7:53 AM
There are just some things that you shouldn't get charged a DUI for:
driving a go-cart
driving a golf cart
driving one of those motorized carts in Wal-Mart
and driving this.
What a sad, sad world we live in now.
31. Timbo - April 1, 2009 8:07 AM
@Watch...
you win this one..., but next time ...you might win again....
32. E of R - April 1, 2009 8:17 AM
DUI on a horse is possible....
Only in america
33. etr - April 1, 2009 8:22 AM
take it home, add another safety wheel (like the green one on the back) to either side and you're good to go. that's how progress is made, by trying and failing.
34. Douchie McBagman - April 1, 2009 9:17 AM
So if you get a DUI for driving a lawn mower or some other tractor like device, do you get out of cutting your grass for the summer?
35. etr - April 1, 2009 9:27 AM
180 minutes if you live in California, unless you are Keifer Sutherland, then, yes, you do get out of mowing your lawn, but you don't mow your own lawn anyway, so its all good.
36. naas - April 1, 2009 10:39 AM
fSN always good to see you, how's the new schedule working out?
37. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - April 1, 2009 10:51 AM
I really want to think he's shouldn't have gotten a DWI - but if he hit you at 40mph while drunk...
Bitchin barstool though!
@Watch - Now, had you submitted it to the tips form, you may have gotten a credit...
38. Ged - April 1, 2009 10:58 AM
Just looking at that thing makes me fear for my teeth.
39. O-Schnap - April 1, 2009 9:08 PM
Ugh.... This is the city I live in.
40. Ruler of the universe - April 1, 2009 9:52 PM
This photo drew quit a large crowd around me in the High school computer lab today. All 15 year old wannabes who wish they coulda thought of something thins awesomly stupid. One who claims he has already(liar). One of the other comments said that the pic was photoshopped cuz of the shadows being all wrong but i dont see ANY shadows in that picture. Maybe ive finally gone blind after all these years. Cant say I wasnt warned. and blah blah blah yak yak blah blah stupid kids blah blah yakity yak yak blah beer cans in a pyramid blah blah swivle chair blah blah yak yak blah fractured collar bone in three places blah blah blah did it again blah moron blah blah yak yak yakity yak blah blah still in hospital blah blah not doing THAT again
41. fulllovegirl - April 2, 2009 4:06 AM
From now on, we LGBT have our own zone---seekbi.com. This is the first and largest platform for us. Do not forget to join it. WOW WOW WOW, it's free!!Come on!!
42. jamie - July 12, 2009 5:51 AM
omgz i know the dude i drink with him once in awhile omgz i cant beleave this got on the net..was in newspaper here