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Man Scores DUI On Homemade Barstool Kart

barstool cart.jpg

Kile Wygle (awesome name), 28, recently received a DUI after crashing his homemade bar-stool kart (pictured) and calling 911.

Kile crashed his bar stool near his Newark home earlier this month and called 911 due to his injuries. When an officer arrived and asked Wygle what happened, he answered, "I wrecked my bar stool." According to a Newark Police Division report, a copy of which you'll find here, Wygle's homemade ride is powered by a Briggs & Stratton lawnmower engine. Wygle noted that the bar stool could hit nearly 40 miles per hour, but that he was only going 20 when he wiped out late in the afternoon on March 4 (a witness told police that he spotted someone driving a "strange motorized machine" before the crash). A plastered Wygle, who failed a series of field sobriety tests, was charged with DUI and driving with a suspended license, both misdemeanors. His bar stool was not impounded.

Damnit Kile, why'd you have to go and call the cops? You should have just brushed yourself off and then popped wheelies all the way home. You could have been Rad to the power of Sick! But nooooo. Now you're just DUI to the power of APB: Kile's riding his bar-stool drunk again. You failure.

Cops Bust Stool Fool [thesmokinggun]

Thanks to Jerkster, Just...A Guy, Timo, Stacey, Chris and BiSScuiTT, who are all smart enough to drive on the sidewalk.

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