Mar 12 2009Freaky Deaky: DIY Bedroom Toy Goes Wrong
Now I'm not saying there's not a place for reciprocating saws in the bedroom, I'm just saying if you do decide to get freaky with a power tool, TAKE THE BLADE OFF FIRST. Do not, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES (except really, really dire ones) just ram a fake wiener on the existing blade. Because then you'll end up like this poor lady.
The saw cut through the plastic toy and wounded the woman, according to TheBayNet.com. The injuries were severe enough for medevac, but the woman was released from the hospital Monday and is recovering from her unusual injuries.
Investigators talked to the woman, who told them she suffered the injuries during a consensual act and that she and her partner were trying something new and no crime was committed, the sheriff's office said.
Trying something new -- I'll say! When I think 'trying something new' I think a clean sock or sitting on my hand for awhile, not power tools. Although....
MEDIC!
Woman Injured in Power Tool Sex Toy Encounter [nbcnewyork]
via
Saber Saw Sex Toy Incident: DIY Gone Very, Very Wrong [gizmodo]
Reader Comments
1. frankz - March 12, 2009 5:22 PM
HAHAHAH
2. damn - March 12, 2009 5:23 PM
this is how i was born
3. Jim - March 12, 2009 5:23 PM
Got to give it to them for trying something to spice up their love life. That said, more power too them! Punny huh!?
4. PunsKillPeople - March 12, 2009 5:23 PM
*facepalm*
There's an honorable mention in the Darwin Awards.
It's basic logic...sharp things going into p*ssy=BAD.
5. CoinOperatedBoi - March 12, 2009 5:29 PM
Should have used the electric mixer.....
6. Eros c'est la vie - March 12, 2009 5:33 PM
Wow, that lady needs a real man. That's what you get for being such a... lesbian. No tongue nor dildos and vibrators can ever replace a man's dick(especially mine).
Maybe lesbians should think about having some dick stuck to their poonanis sometime. Ladies? Call me...
7. Atlanta Grape Lady - March 12, 2009 5:43 PM
Stop. oh oh oh ooooooooooooh ohh oooooh oh ooh ooooooooooooooh
ow ow ow ooooooooh stop oh stop ooh ooooooooh oh oh oooooooooh
I can't breathe ohhhh stop uh uh ooooooooooooooh
8. Hunter - March 12, 2009 5:44 PM
Its just legos
9. MEh - March 12, 2009 6:30 PM
Wtf does the GW do, troll gizmodo for articles? Lazy sob.
10. cyborggggggg - March 12, 2009 6:33 PM
I am part machineeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
11. formerly SPELLINGNAZI© - March 12, 2009 6:39 PM
Ditto #4: Darwin Award nominee all the way...
12. Melissa - March 12, 2009 7:04 PM
"do not ram a fake wiener on the existing blade".... Im no expert in power tools, can someone please explain me how else I am going to put my dildo into this thing?
13. Power tool expert - March 12, 2009 7:29 PM
#12 Attach it with something other than a blade. Just figure out some way to attach something less dangerous to the mounting bracket. Break a blade off and weld something to it's mounting bracket maybe? But this idiot should have known a sawsall blade would chew through a dildo in about 1 second.
14. ClaMs - March 12, 2009 7:30 PM
FAKE!!!!
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Transformers where Magen Fox chopped off Sam's robot lover because she got jealous just while BumbleBee and the State Cop car Decipticon where fighting in the junk yard. Then they had a threesome with BumbleBee.
What I'm trying to say, boy do I wish I could do to Magen Fox what this powertool did to the chick in the article. And I'll never be able to see a chick hold a powertool like that again without thinking naughty (read sick) thoughts.
15. formerly SPELLINGNAZI© - March 12, 2009 7:33 PM
@14: You're an idiot.
16. freak of nature-formerly Hannnukah Montana - March 12, 2009 7:40 PM
@14
#15 is right.
We don't need another Daisy-tard up in this place.
---
I heard a couple of incidents similar to this. One incident involved a jack hammer, it was f'ucking scary... The dude almost died.
17. marcus - March 12, 2009 7:46 PM
ugh! its like the lust murder in seven with that actor whos so good at freaking out
18. DJ Tyrannosaur - March 12, 2009 8:19 PM
This reminds me of the time my girlfriend tried Jilling off with chili oil. "To get the blood pumping down there".
19. m0nkey - March 12, 2009 8:26 PM
so stupid..
20. demi - March 12, 2009 8:32 PM
that blade must have been reciprocating quite fast to cut through
I wonder how quick the reaction time was
I wonder who would get blamed for that
21. wazmeister05 - March 12, 2009 9:15 PM
Thats probably a good example of darwinism
22. naas - March 12, 2009 9:42 PM
This didn't really happen, c'mon. rednecks aren't even *this stupid....
23. Wes UMD - March 12, 2009 9:42 PM
son of a ..... i was about to email you this story, it happened a couple miles from my house! there are some freaks down here in the sticks!
24. babywiththepower - March 12, 2009 9:48 PM
Would that make it a killdo?
25. formerly SPELLINGNAZI© - March 12, 2009 10:26 PM
@22: I beg to differ. They really are...they really are.
26. Leonidas - March 12, 2009 10:34 PM
I've got a much better power-tool for the bedroom... I call it "foreplay."
27. DatChimpGoneCrazay - March 12, 2009 11:01 PM
New meaning to the term "saw it coming". Saw. Coming. Get it? Get it? Huh? Huh? Do ya? Get it? Do ya get it?
28. KingOfTheWickerPeople - March 12, 2009 11:03 PM
Tha end looks strangely like my penis. 3 inches, yellow, sharp teeth...sounds about right!
29. Daisy - March 13, 2009 12:57 AM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exacvtly like that scene in the movie Never Bck Down where Max was working at Meglo-Mart and had to set up the stage for the Chuck MAngione concert.
30. mike - March 13, 2009 8:42 AM
Wow is that my dads power saw.........
hey it is! now wait my dad dos like to cut things "hey put the cat down no,no i said no" (chainsaw noises) " god damn it MOM dad killed anothe cat with your dildo on a saw.
31. Jesserush - March 13, 2009 9:09 AM
Vaganus
32. hedgehog - March 13, 2009 9:38 AM
hmmm, I wonder when the stoopid-assed lawsuit will be.
"There was nothing in the instructions that said don't use this a sex-toy"
33. softlicious - March 13, 2009 10:06 AM
Getting fücked sure is hard work, but with the right tools you too can do it. That's why we have developed this award winning do it yourseld romantic love toy! DIY RLT 3000 comes with a cord that you simply plug into the wall!
34. naas - March 13, 2009 10:11 AM
@25 Yes I'm afraid you're right, and just when I thought people have tried all the stupid shit in the world there is to try.. then there's this story.
35. catch22 - March 13, 2009 11:54 AM
epic failure spicing up the love life.... kinda like the dude that crushed the lightbulb in his anus... with anyluck this will prevent her ability to breed
36. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - March 13, 2009 2:32 PM
Wanting to spice it up huh? Um... They could've browsed through http://www.adameve.com and found something a lot safer. That most likely had more, um, "stuff" going on.
Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Why on earth she allowed this to happen is beyond me. There are RULES about what's allowed into a vagina!
1. Nothing with sharp instruments attached.
2. Nothing that can't be EASILY & SAFELY removed.
3. Nothing oozing, seeping, pussing, rashy, warty, green, or overall infected looking.
4. Nothing that isn't clean.
There are more rules, but these should suffice to make my point.
OWW!!! I'll flinch next time I'm using a power tool.
37. che-che - March 13, 2009 3:04 PM
they stole this from TOP SECRET that movie with val kilmer. he gave it as a gift to his manager in the prison scene. great movie!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XJ35LIebwc&eurl=http://video.google.com/videosearch?q=top%20secret%20fister&hl=en&source=vgc&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&&feature=player_embedded
38. Funny - March 13, 2009 4:10 PM
@23 Yea, close to me as well...
It's amazing the things people will stick or rub on their nether regions.
Heard of a couple in Ocean City doing something just as ignorant.
39. genghis_khunt - March 14, 2009 7:36 PM
I've seen this done in porn before, could be where she got the idea.
Yeah but anyway.... Ouch. My twat hurts just thinking about it.
40. genghis_khunt - March 14, 2009 7:39 PM
p.s
hahahhahhahhahhh @31......
vaganus.