Mar 3 2009Failure At Life Stuffs Six-Month Old Kitten In World's Worst Homemade Bong To 'Calm It'
20-year old Acea Shomaker is a failure at life who shouldn't even be allowed to have a cat. I mean Jesus, just look at that bong. Pathetic.
Deputies discovered the cat trapped in the device after responding to a domestic disturbance call at a home that Schomaker shares with his grandfather, Sgt. Andy Stebbing said.
Deputies resolved the dispute and left the house, but they returned minutes later after discovering there was an arrest warrant on Schomaker that alleged possession of drug paraphernalia.Upon re-entering the house, deputies saw Schomaker smoking marijuana through a piece of garden hose duct-taped to a Plexiglass box, in which the cat had been stuffed, Stebbing said.
Shomaker told police the cat was too hyper and he was just trying to calm it down. The kitten is now in good condition in the care of Capital Humane Society. Wow. Now I'm all about some vigilante justice, so I suggest we dose Shomaker with a taste of his own medicine. Namely, we stuff him in a Rubbermaid full of acid. And not the happy face-melting kind either. I'm talking the real face-melting stuff -- that hydrochloric joint. IT BUUUUUURNS!
Hit the jump to see the kitty and the face of a failure.
Man Stuffs Kitty Into Bong To Calm It, Police Say [thedenverchannel]
Thanks to 42 y/o undead warlock and Melanie, who would never waste weed just to get a pet high.
Reader Comments
1. OJ's Mom - March 3, 2009 10:40 AM
KITTY! Don't bogart the doobage!!!!
2. OJ's Mom - March 3, 2009 10:41 AM
PS - Die a painful, horrid death, you pathetic excuse for a human.
3. Carlito - March 3, 2009 10:41 AM
QUe mierdas es un bong??
4. OJ's Mom - March 3, 2009 10:42 AM
Hat Trick
5. OJ's Mom - March 3, 2009 10:43 AM
@3 - Hice un bong de los senos de hermanas y focita fumada de ello.
6. dave - March 3, 2009 10:44 AM
Its always the creepy white boys that do stuff like this
7. naas - March 3, 2009 10:45 AM
Ahh it's good to be back. 4 days in south florida is a nice getaway from this shitty chicago snow...
This kitty bong, heh - what a lucky cat.
8. bryce - March 3, 2009 10:45 AM
His forehead is ENORMOUS. How Ironic that a skull so gargantuan houses such a shriveled failure of a brain.
9. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - March 3, 2009 10:50 AM
It's Dave Mustaine before the smack.
10. Megan - March 3, 2009 10:51 AM
I think online dating is really nice. I meet many nice people at the millionaire & celebrity dating club ____Millionaire Loving. C O M____. You can find your soul mate at this site. You have many chances to date with a millionaire there.
11. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - March 3, 2009 10:53 AM
@10
Click my name.
12. kelehendros - March 3, 2009 10:59 AM
that cosmic joke on humanity is seriously lacking in cranial prowess
13. gizmoduck - March 3, 2009 11:07 AM
i am drunk
i win
14. Shaniqua Brown - March 3, 2009 11:09 AM
Aw hell no, that kid di'int just stuff the pussy? Oh no you di'int! Uh uh... No, bitch. You ain't doin nat to mah pussy. F uck no biIch! You better pay for my weave b!tch! Ni99a I kill you!
15. RK - March 3, 2009 11:11 AM
hey the cops are here, AND I have an outstanding arrest warrant for drug paraphernalia; therefore --instead of hiding the bong, or perhaps making a quiet exit, I think I'll stuff kitty in the box and hit the bong.
a future recipient of a Darwin award for sure.
16. BOOSH! - March 3, 2009 11:14 AM
We don't need another hero...
We don't need to know the way home...
All we want is right beyond....
The Thunderdome.
17. Leonidas - March 3, 2009 11:14 AM
So, in the land of the free, it's illegal to possess "drug paraphernalia?" Pretty lame. Anyway, take a look at those sad, red eyes. This guy is just asking to be put out.
18. gizmoduck - March 3, 2009 11:15 AM
@16
you are the wing beneath my wings
19. Hosay Canseco Suarezz - March 3, 2009 11:15 AM
@5 Patta patta puttu yam ying nye yo oho erano sapa quitty suyoo para. Nama nombre que OJ MOM supa kata looto ola. Ola ola. (something spanish) Something something spanish. Punieta Carajo Cavron y Pamoso Culo. Mierda. Donde esta Santa Clause? Donde estas tu amor? Ay chico cheeck. Hijo de puta. Que nombre? Bon Voyage...
20. Tricky Ricky - March 3, 2009 11:34 AM
Wow! this guy is a genious!
you take 1 hyper-active kitten, add a Bong full of weed..the cat gets the munchies...and presto you get....................
.................wait for it............................
Chester Cheetah!
21. BOOSH! - March 3, 2009 11:54 AM
@18 Don't tell me you love me!
Don't tell me- I don't want to know!
22. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - March 3, 2009 12:17 PM
@20
You are an idiot. Were you cell mates with this guy?
23. Big Jerm - March 3, 2009 12:24 PM
Wow he was inhaling kitty poo fumes...... mmm MMmm Yummy
24. Davo - March 3, 2009 12:25 PM
@16
I just watched that movie this weekend. Awesomeness.
25. Dragonstorm - March 3, 2009 12:25 PM
He sorta resembles a live action Beavis.
26. jeremy - March 3, 2009 12:26 PM
iam a stoner and i can only hope and pray this waste of space sorry excuse for a human gets whats coming to him and please let it be painful and agonizing and last his whole pathetic life! hey acea(lame name btw) kill yourself now and do everybody a favor u pussy!
27. J-Grizz - March 3, 2009 12:26 PM
Whadda doucher.
28. Robert - March 3, 2009 12:27 PM
Holy cow! I'm applying for the patent rights to this. Think of how much you could sell a child-sized model for! Cure little Timmy's ADHD the natural way!
29. Elmo - March 3, 2009 12:31 PM
what a fuktard! great way to start my day pissed, thanks
30. Cat stuffed in bong. - March 3, 2009 12:32 PM
I'm the kitty and I just want to say despite what you might think it was really fun and the bud was grade a.
31. Tabion - March 3, 2009 12:45 PM
Stupid idiot... Animals don't get high off of Marijuana like we do. Cats, dogs and rodents become very agitated, nervous and sometimes violent when exposed to large doses of pot. How can you be a pothead and not know that?
Oh, right. By being an American.
32. Shorty - March 3, 2009 12:46 PM
Schrödingers wet dream?
33. Anti-PETA - March 3, 2009 12:57 PM
If he had only killed the cat it wouldn't even be an issue. animals are filthy and deserve to be treated as the worthless scum they are. they only deserve true torture and death, not this BS stuffed in a bong crap that seems to make you douchebags get your panties in a bunch.
34. Rossco - March 3, 2009 1:05 PM
@ #33: Heads-up, you're an animal too. So, go kill yourself. Thanks.
35. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - March 3, 2009 1:18 PM
I'm hoping he gets a blanket party in jail.
36. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - March 3, 2009 1:22 PM
Side note - anyone else see of the irony involved in stuffing a pussy IN a box?
37. Milkman - March 3, 2009 1:32 PM
Just look at that guy... the cops should have known he was up to something
38. Amaranth - March 3, 2009 1:42 PM
its Beavis in real life lmao what a moron
39. caw - March 3, 2009 1:42 PM
hopefully someone stuffs him in a coffin and buries him alive.
40. Amanda Heironimus - March 3, 2009 1:58 PM
Can I lead the lynch mob? Or at least get the first kick to the groin?
What a bastard.
~a
41. You're a Jerk - March 3, 2009 2:06 PM
@31
I've gotten cats, dogs, and even a rodent (mouse) high. They usually just go to sleep. I've never, ever, not once seen them get anxious or nervous. Certainly not violent.
And I'm a dumb, pothead American.
42. Cat Scratch Fever - March 3, 2009 2:09 PM
Did you know that if you tie two cats' tails together and throw them over a clothesline they'll fight to the death?
And make a horrible, horrible sound.
Also, and that bong is made of duct tape and broken dreams.
43. not a pothead - March 3, 2009 2:12 PM
@41: yes. yes you are.
I want to know how this douche got Glenn Close's hair from Dangerous Liasons.
44. a close shave - March 3, 2009 2:28 PM
is it just me or does it look like someone photoshopped his face and brought all his facial features down an inch or two? this guy is EXACTLY why you should wear a rubber when screwing retarded hookers with multiple drug addictions.
i bet this guys grandpa is a real winner as well.
i love my grampa.
45. noreply - March 3, 2009 2:57 PM
that remembers me of a guy who put a living mouse in a selfmade icebong instead of ice during smoking it ... no cooling effect ;P
I don't think the mouse had a bad mood afterwards, it was pretty stoned and hungry though... :)
But don't do such things too animals please !
46. imaginer - March 3, 2009 3:10 PM
that guy deserves a good cockpunching.
47. lube - March 3, 2009 3:25 PM
why so much hostility? murder a man for smoking out a cat? it aint so bad
48. Tom - March 3, 2009 3:45 PM
NEDM, man. NEDM.
49. formerly SPELLINGNAZI© - March 3, 2009 4:06 PM
@31: Yeah, you're way wrong.
When I first started going to college, a couple of my friends/acquaintances got his kitten high a lot. I was pissed and amused at the same time (probably from the contact high).
50. Tennist0 - March 3, 2009 4:36 PM
wow, he is a failure. BURN IN HELL BITCH!!!!
51. Tabion - March 3, 2009 6:17 PM
@49: The Hell? They got a baby cat high? What the ****, man? You just stood there and watched them smoke out a baby cat? Don't you care, in the slightest, about other living beings? I bet if your friend beat his dog with a baseball bat you'd do nothing.
Exposing your animals to narcotics is cool if done responsably. Just like you wouldn't force another human being to smoke, you mustn't force a baby cat to smoke. If it inhales second hand smoke, that's not your problem. But forcing'em to smoke? I wouldn't do that to my worst enemy.
...
Maybe, like, kick their front door in, spray their faces with extra strong insect repellant and then bash'em over the head with a hammer, then drag them to their bathroom and slit their thoats so that their blood pools away. 7 air fresheners and voilà! But not forcing'em to smoke. Nope.
52. Eelill - March 3, 2009 6:38 PM
Bongcat is in ur bong smokin ur weedz
53. boxofwine - March 3, 2009 7:41 PM
I have gotten stoned with all animals. Even turtles. I don't think they even feel it.
54. Chaemelion - March 3, 2009 7:46 PM
Hydrofluoric acid would be better >.>
55. Daisy - March 3, 2009 9:22 PM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never BAck Down where MAx is taking a van from Mexico to the US, to smuggle pot. He wants to smoke and searches the van for the stash, and can't find it. It turns out the entire van is made out of reefers.
56. Evan - March 3, 2009 10:57 PM
Thank you for the levity. Very sharp witted. Stories like this tend to get me down.
57. cash4gold - March 3, 2009 11:19 PM
@ 43 and 52, you guys are great. keep up the good work
58. REW - March 4, 2009 12:49 AM
the goggles, they do nothing!!
59. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - March 4, 2009 12:21 PM
shit, piss, fück, cünt, cöcksucker, motherfücker, and tìts
60. pissed reader - March 4, 2009 1:35 PM
that's a f'ing catbox too. they are used at vets to put the cats under anesthetic. damn i mean where the hell did this idiot get a catbox in the first place. who in their right mind would give him one
61. Dylan C. - May 27, 2009 8:55 PM
*stuffffff, tape rippppp*
Uh. Yeah this is gonna be the good shit she jus had a bath too. *shick, shick, light* Ah man this shit hits better than Cadbury's three-perc mang. What is that...Herbal essences? Damn son. where's my gerbil?
-MCAULEY THE COPS ARE OUTSIDE I THINK THEY"RE LOOKING IN YOUR WINDOW!! WTF ARE YOU DOING IN THERE AND WHERE'S PARTY MONSTER?! HE DIDN"T EAT HIS FOOD!-
Aw shit man 5-0! Yo Harry, Marv get the ice man get the ice!
hahahahaha damn am I the only one that sees the resemblance there?? He's toast yo.
62. PedophileCrackDealerMisogynist4JesusChrist - July 1, 2009 4:56 AM
What a waste of Good weed its just I doubt that cat enjoyed the High as much as this tard here Blow the kitten a hit don't suffocate the poor thing in a box before you attempt to rape it
Its sad that this kid was a good christian like me
63. lolpants - September 23, 2009 5:17 AM
Kitten huffing, anyone?
64. Luna - December 14, 2009 2:22 PM
Asshole. If you want to get a cat high, you just blow a little smoke at it. But not a kitten. Then it would be retarded.
65. شات دردشة بنت مصر - February 25, 2010 10:15 PM
Goood Thank You Veryowe fgdfgfdgfdg
66. دردشة - February 25, 2010 10:16 PM
Goood Thank You Veryowe opoip
67. MIchele - April 9, 2010 7:29 AM
I've always said people that have the ability to harm an animal, indeed have the ability to be the next serial killer. Almost all serial killers or sickos out there have had a past with harming animals. Acea Shomaker (Duck Butter Face), in my opinion is the next serial killer... I wouldn't let this one get away. Lock them up before they skin someones child.
Acea, if you ever read this directly I hope you know your cell mates do not tolerate sick acts like what you've done. Don't be surprised your ass gets a new name in jail, the name Philup (Fill-up) ...
Make a strong public example of this Acea! 30 yrs in prison!