Mar 25 2009Canned Bacon: Perfect For Stocking Your Robot/Zombie Shelter. Also, Snacking

Canned bacon. Undoubtedly the best course of The Last Supper, Yoder brand canned bacon can now be yours. Plus, it comes in sweet-ass camo cans. Hey, where'd my bacon go?!?
For the first time in almost 20 years, canned bacon is back in this Country. Not available in any store!
More than 2 years went into the development of this bacon, and we're proud to be able to bring this back to you after improving on a what was a very successful brand of canned bacon made years ago by Celebrity Foods (registered Trademark, all rights reserved).Each can is 9 ounces of fully cooked and drained bacon. Between 2-3/4 and 3-1/4 pounds of raw bacon go into each can. Each can is the highest quality fresh #1 bacon slices. Cured to our specifications, cooked and then hand wrapped, rolled and packed in the U.S.
My God that sounds delicious. A single can will set you back $12, but that's not really bad considering it's 3 pounds of cooked bacon and will stay fresh for over 10 years. You know -- this might very well be the most delicious thing to ever come in a can. Well, besides this. Here, open it. *POW POW!* Haha, that was Geekologie brand Whoop Ass, bitch!
Hit the jump for a photo-uncanning.
Thanks to Kyle and Fig Oldstyl, who are pissed they've had to live on SPAM for so long.


Reader Comments
1. 09R - March 25, 2009 8:59 PM
yummy
2. asdf - March 25, 2009 9:00 PM
that actually looks decent
3. FRIST - March 25, 2009 9:04 PM
FRIST
4. BOOSH! - March 25, 2009 9:10 PM
Somethings just shouldn't survive the apocalypse. I dare say that bacon is one of them.
Kevin Bacon
5. The Chort - March 25, 2009 9:13 PM
Hey does anyone know if that guy who vowed to only eat bacon for a month is still alive?
6. Pepper - March 25, 2009 9:14 PM
*HORF*
7. Watch - March 25, 2009 9:14 PM
nice
8. Beastman Aids - March 25, 2009 9:31 PM
that dosn't look too bad - looks like the bacon from Subway.
I was kinda hoping it'd be a can shaped slab of sweaty pig rectum and scrotum resembling cat food but claiming to be bacon.
9. orb205 - March 25, 2009 9:33 PM
Somehow the camo makes it seem a little more American too. I think that might be a hint to take it camping!
10. Xeta - March 25, 2009 9:34 PM
10
11. gizmoduck - March 25, 2009 9:37 PM
that hurts my back
12. Somebody - March 25, 2009 10:17 PM
My heart just stopped looking at that...
13. s - March 25, 2009 10:50 PM
has someone else started writing updates? you aren't funny at all, anymore
14. McGloin - March 25, 2009 11:57 PM
How long till we have KFC from a can?
That n!gger Obama is working on it as we speak.
15. Zombo - March 26, 2009 1:21 AM
I ORDERED 20..
Also.. Lol Mcgloin.. i hope you get shot.
By a white guy...
16. Boost - March 26, 2009 1:22 AM
@13
Yea, I think they switch every few months.
This one really likes "pew pew".
Mostly I'll just read the article and skip over his bit.
/cough
/fark
17. formerly SPELLINGNAZI© - March 26, 2009 3:26 AM
Well Guys, Girls, and Daisy, my time is up here at Geekologie. They finally blocked it at work, so whether you love me or hate me, I won't be on near as much since I've got school a couple nights right after work too.
Peace out.
18. Mesarim - March 26, 2009 5:41 AM
awww crap, We'll miss you Nazi.
I hope work doesn't block mine though, they blocked everything else. At one stage they even had blocked their own site... but not Geekologie.
Still, I like my bacon crispy, so if I were to invest in this delicious treat, I'd have to get a frying pan, and a nuclear camp stove... Anyone want to help me make a minature Thorium reactor for cooking purposes? :)
19. softlicious - March 26, 2009 5:48 AM
@ formerly SPELLINGNAZI - That's sad, even more sad is the fact that my life still sucks, so here I am posting stuff.
I like this product, this way I will have some snacks for when the zombies come over from the graveyard to visit me. Also I like Pig Brains in a Can, posted earlier by GW, it's good to have PBC around when the zombies crash the party, they eat brains and you want them to leave your's alone, now don't you. There's just one little problem, they taste, wait a minute I got one stuck in my throat now, (*HORF) (*HORF, HORF*) HORRIFIC, they taste HORRIFIC. Another thing that's horrific is how the law is an ass, watch Lars von Trier's documentary Dogville, sorry I couldn't help myself ;)
20. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - March 26, 2009 7:09 AM
@fSN
We will miss you. Well, I will miss you. I don't know about these other fücks.
21. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - March 26, 2009 7:34 AM
@19
It's a fictional movie you idiot. Fictional = fake
Just because a movie is poignant, doesn't make it real. A documentary is real and is presented as such. See: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/documentary[1]
Your Dogville movie is a work of fiction and is presented as fiction. If you can not tell the difference between reality and fantasy, please kill youself now before the langoliers eat you alive.
22. softlicious - March 26, 2009 7:36 AM
@20, Gordon, I too will miss fSN, it's soo sad it had to come to this, but it looks like they blocked Geekologie at his work. Btw, Gordon, Dogville is too a documentary!
23. softlicious - March 26, 2009 7:50 AM
@21 - You comming to the zombie party? I think they're hungry for your brains, and we're out of Pig Brains in a Can, PBC, and I think your brains is the closest substitute. Anyway Dogville IS a documentary because it portrays reality loosly, yes it is fiction, but otherwise it would just be booring, right? The thing that makes Dogville a documentary and not just any fiction is because it's set in America=a real country that actually excists in the real world, you know that country outside your window? It's unfair out there, court rulings in paternity cases are often based on falsities, sometimes deliberately, and child molestation and rape charges doesn't require evidence. That's an unfair country out there, outside the window if you look out, and Dogville is a documentary just because it catches some of that.
24. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - March 26, 2009 7:54 AM
Starring Nicole Kidman as a rape victim? Yes, I read the link you posted. No where does it state that the movie is a documentary. I quote: "The bare staging serves to focus the audience's attention on the acting and storytelling, and also reminds them of the film's artificiality" Artificial = FAKE, NOT REAL, YOU'RE A SICK PERVERT THAT RAPES CHILDREN!
25. Trioxinator - March 26, 2009 7:58 AM
I'm guessing those who think dogville is a documentary are kidding....if not, canned bacon is not the lesser intelligence on this post.
26. softlicious - March 26, 2009 8:11 AM
@24, Gordon, - The issue here is that the law is an ass. Anyway, Dogville DOES portray a small American community faithfully, but I could barely hold my composure when I wrote:
"Dogville a documentary and not just any fiction"
haha.
@25, "canned bacon is not the lesser intelligence on this post" -
Actually Pig Brains in a Can, PBC, can be quite smart, they can challenge a novice to intermediate player in chess. Yes that sounds astounding, I know, but the key here is in numbers, Pig BrainSSSS in a Can, several brains against your one, I think you would be challenged. I'm telling you I lost a chess game once, and the zombies couldn't stop laughing at me.
27. Timbo - March 26, 2009 8:25 AM
Looks Delicious!
i might order some....seriously
I'm just waiting for "The Man" to block Geekologie.....
28. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - March 26, 2009 8:25 AM
@26
By saying that every man is a rapist and every woman is indifferent? I give up. I found out last week how much of an ass you are and I should have known better than to argue with the likes of you. If Hulu says you're unamerican, then it must be true.
29. Nick Bacon - March 26, 2009 8:26 AM
I am disgusted by this slight on the vocation of my ancestors, and dmeand recompense.
30. Nick Bacon - March 26, 2009 8:27 AM
actually, having seen all the pictures, it looks quite good
31. Pat - March 26, 2009 8:43 AM
Someone actually spent two years developing canned bacon? Should they be, you know, curing cancer?
32. naas - March 26, 2009 9:16 AM
@17 Nazi, bummer mate - fight the system
33. naas - March 26, 2009 9:18 AM
mMMm this canned bacon is going to be a hit around this household
34. catch22 - March 26, 2009 9:18 AM
not bad... now it needs to be done with beef jerkey
35. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - March 26, 2009 9:20 AM
@34
Beef jerky lasts 10 years as it is. At least that what it feels like every time I snap into a Slim Jim.
36. Darth - March 26, 2009 9:38 AM
If you're really hungry,you eat everything! It looks perfect for bacon and eggs!
37. Gando - March 26, 2009 9:40 AM
This looks like real soldier food!
38. poop on my small shaft - March 26, 2009 9:40 AM
TINA TURNER
Well the men come in these places
And the men are all the same
You dont look at their faces
And you dont ask their names
You dont think of them as human
You dont think of them at all
You keep your mind on the money
Keeping your eyes on the wall
Chorus
I'm YOUR PRIVATE DANCER
A DANCER FOR MONEY
ILL DO WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO
I'm YOUR PRIVATE DANCER
A DANCER FOR MONEY
ANY OLD MUSIC WILL DO
I wanna make a million dollars
I wanna live out by the sea
Have a husband and some children
Yeah I guess I want a family
All the men come in these places
And the men are all the same
You dont look at their faces
And you dont ask their names
Repeat chorus twice
Deutschmarks or dollars
American express will nicely thank you
Let me loosen up your collar
Tell me do you wanna see me do the shimmy again
Repeat chorus
39. Darth - March 26, 2009 10:45 AM
It's more easy to open a can than to kill a pig!
40. Rhialto - March 26, 2009 10:49 AM
Great for camping trips! Don't forget the eggs!
41. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - March 26, 2009 10:49 AM
@fSN- NOOOOO!!!! Who will I make psuedo-sexual remarks with? That's not fair... damned military...
About canned bacon - this looks much better than I expected. I too expected a lard covered lump of *HORF*... This may be edible - not that I'm holding my breath to try it... I'll save that for the true bacon addicts- naas, I'm looking at you.
softlicious - You are a truly sick human being. Feel free to go off yourself now.
GFS- exactly.
42. Pew³ - March 26, 2009 12:29 PM
@42 Ahem.
Sorry, something in my throat.
43. Fig Oldstyl - March 26, 2009 1:29 PM
I cant wait to get mine so i can take all the bacon out and wear the can on my head like a hobo.
44. JFreezy - March 26, 2009 3:40 PM
@41,
Hey Thumperchica, I'd thump you! *Wink, wink*
45. Ladybird - March 26, 2009 4:50 PM
That's some expensive canned food. I love bacon and all, but once you open that, i'm sure it doesn't last all that long... guess i'll have to shove all the bacon down at once.... gulp. *stomach bulges to pregnancy proportions.... heart stops... poops pants after death.... smells like bacon.*
46. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - March 26, 2009 5:17 PM
Pew... was that *ahem* supposed to be directed at yourself?
47. Trayo - March 26, 2009 8:32 PM
My last name is Yoder. And I've heard this bacon is horrible.
48. HunnyBear - March 26, 2009 8:46 PM
i wish they sold this at Costco...*drools*
49. docluc - March 26, 2009 8:47 PM
Beer comes in a can. It's pretty delicious...
50. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - March 27, 2009 7:26 AM
The AV Club did a review of this fine product. You guys have to see this ---> http://www.avclub.com/content/feature/taste_test_yoders_canned_bacon
For those of you who can't see the video at work, wait until you get home. The video of the bacon trying to come out of the can is a must see.
51. harold - April 30, 2009 10:29 PM
Love it. Wan't it. This guy should have had these stored in his cabinet just in case of an apocalyptic zombie attack -- too late! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPJu9OXdfU0&fmt=18
52. Patsy Richmond - July 5, 2009 1:59 PM
I am looking for a canned bacon my husband said he purchased about 30 years ago & cooked on a campout. Was or is there such a thing?
53. Corvus Munnin - September 4, 2009 8:41 PM
Quote from Yoder:
"Each can is 9 ounces of fully cooked and drained bacon. Between 2-3/4 and 3-1/4 pounds of raw bacon go into each can."
Three sentences later from Geekologie review:
"My God that sounds delicious. A single can will set you back $12, but that's not really bad considering it's 3 pounds of cooked bacon and will stay fresh for over 10 years."
Dudes! how could ANY geek not know that 1 lb = 16 ounces?! 9 ounces is NOT equivalent to three pounds - not in sterling, troy, or any other standard of measurement. The cans in the photo are even clearly marked "9oz." Not only that, but out of all 52 previous commentators, NO ONE apparently noticed this gargantuan and obvious discrepancy. This is terribly sad; even pathetic. You're not really geeks, are you?
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