Mar 28 2009 Wow, Surprisingly Doesn't Work: Paying A Speeding Ticket With Urine-Soaked Coins
Michael Harold Lynch received a $206 speeding ticket for doing 54 in a 35MPH work zone. Outraged (I was only 19 over!), he got $206 in small coins, put them in a bag, and pissed all over them. Then he sent the bag in as payment. Shockingly, it wasn't accepted.
Turns out Lynch didn't break any laws - it's not necessarily illegal to mail bodily fluids. The pee-and-pennies were sent back to Lynch - COD, in fact - with a note that said they couldn't be taken because "the pile of coins emitted a strong, pungent odor of stale urine." Lynch responded by sending a check made out to another agency, which was returned, then he sent a check for the wrong amount. Now he's on the hook for $271 because his payment is late.
Wow, Michael. You sure showed them, didn't you? Now you only owe $65 more than before, not including the shipping and COD payments you already made. You are such the prankster! And also, under arrest. Up against the wall, buddy -- now spread those legs. *violently tasers Michael in the taint* Haha -- this is a rented uniform! NOW WHO'S THE PRANK KING?!?!
Streaming Mad: $206 in urine-soaked coins is not acceptable payment for a speeding ticket in Washington [autoblog]
Thanks to The Jerk, who was peeing in the slot your money comes out of on an ATM when the little door slammed closed on his pecker and he had to call the police. They laughed at him and then posted the security cam footage on Youtube. I saw it, it was funny.
Mar 28 2009 Google Street View: Peeing In Middle Of Road
A Google Street View car in France spotted these high-brow citizens pissing in the middle of the highway together (I'll hold yours if you hold mine). I guess they don't have rest stops in France. Still, you've got to commend them on their technique. It's similar to what I do, except nothing like it because I just hang my junk out the window. One time I was dragging it behind my station wagon when an 18-wheeler hit it and then did like fifty flips in the air and exploded. True story.
Hit it for a close up that may or may not show some guy's penis.
Continue Reading " Google Street View: Peeing In Middle Of Road "
Mar 28 2009 'David After The Dentist' Shirt From ThinkGeek
Remember David after the dentist? He was cute, wasn't he? He was. That's because drugs make people cute. And sometimes, their faces melt. It's true, one time at a concert I saw a bus turn into an accordion and Dracula fighting a dinosaur by the concession stand. It was super erotic. Anyway, get your own 'I have two fingers' shirt from ThinkGeek for $16-$18, depending on your size. Also, if if anybody knows where I can score some itrous-nay ide-oxay, that would be cool tool. Ha, did I just say cool tool? Yeah, and I meant it.
Thanks to killerabbit, who has four fingers.
Mar 27 2009 Customize!: iGoogle Video Game Themes
Want to customize your Googling experience with some sweet gaming art? Well now you can thanks to a series of iGoogle gaming themes. Pick from Zelda, Mega Man, Mario, Street Fighter, Spore, WoW, Animal Crossing and a bunch more. Use a different one every day of the week! Or don't, I don't care. It's not like I'm going to beat you over the head if you don't. Hey, what's that!?!? PEW PEW! Haha -- I didn't say anything about lasers!
Thanks to dealmaker7783, Douche McAllister and Julian, who all opted for Zelda because they know what's up.
Mar 27 2009 Cockatiel Singing 'Saria's Song' From Zelda
This is a video of somebody's pet cockatiel singing 'Saria's Song' from The Ocarina of Time (and Majora's Mask and Twilight Princess). The video itself is like three years old though, so I want you to remember to point that out in the comments. Go on, do it. OLD! to you heart's content. Then, when you're done, maybe you could, I dunno, type something meaningful. BWAHAAHAHAHAHAAAHA!! Something meaningful! *wipes tear*
Thanks to kat, who was training her parakeet to sing 'The Song Of Time' but it flew away.
Mar 27 2009 Pillow Blanket: I Need One Like, Last Night
The Pillow Blanket is a blanket made out of interconnecting pillows that looks comfy as all hell. I want one. And not just for the pillow fights you and I could have! No, I would throw myself down on that mother after a long night of drinking and puke to my stomach's content. But not choke on it -- I ain't going out like that! Or am I? I probably am.
Hit the jump for a couple more shots.
Continue Reading " Pillow Blanket: I Need One Like, Last Night "
Mar 27 2009 Man Builds Large Wooden Dino From Model
You know those little wooden models with the interlocking pieces? Yeah, well loyal Geekologie reader Vinss's father blew one of a dinosaur up to a much larger, more manageable size.
My father scanned each piece of one and scaled the pieces to a large scale in Photoshop, printed them out and then drew them on plywood planks, cutting them and then assembling them to form a giant version of it.
I hope it's interesting for you. If ever this makes it to the blog, we're a family from Quebec, Canada.As for general feedback (in the same family as General Grievous), I really like this blog, it's always very interesting. The only thing I dislike is how you have to make everything vulgar. Anyhow, personal opinion. Keep up the great gadgets and stuff.
I'm trying, Vinss, but you're not making it easy with a dinosaur post. I mean, that's like asking [FAILURE TO KEEP IT CLEAN]. Seriously, I have joined a 12-step program though. The only problem is, a chick in one of the meetings was wearing a 'I Heart Dinosaurs' shirt and I lost my cool and [FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL] in front of the whole group. Then they all looked at me like I was some kind of weirdo. *phew* There, I think i did it. Now somebody put on The Land Before Time, I'm beat.
Hit the jump for several more of the awesome.
Continue Reading " Man Builds Large Wooden Dino From Model "
Mar 27 2009 Sure, Why Not?: 'I Do' Wedding Bands
'I Do' wedding bands were created by Sakurako Shimizu and are similar to waveform bracelets but much more matrimonial. They were cast in palladium and 18K gold and feature a waveform version of the words "I do". Of course, if you were smart you'd sneakily have an "I don't" cast. That way, when you're caught groping another woman's teat at the bar you can just point to your ring and mouth the words "I don't" to your wife, who may or may not douse you with a Jager shot and stiletto you in the nads. But hey, boobs ARE the spice of life. And also, glitterstim. Now who's down for a Kessel Run?
Hit the jump for another pic and a link to artist's website, which also features a pretty badass Atari chip ring.
Mar 27 2009 Warp Whistle: Mario In The Real World
We've already seen several different versions of what it would be like if Mario existed in the real world. And, well, I hope you liked them because here comes another. This one is entitled 'Warp Whistle' and documents the plump little plumber's visit to Chicago. It's only three minutes long, so even if you hate it, you only wasted three minutes. Which, be honest, you would have blown just acting like you were working anyways. And speaking of acting like you're working -- can one of you tell The Superficial Writer or Iwatchstuff to jiggle my mouse -- I was supposed to come in today but decided to get drunk and lay on the bathroom floor instead.
Warp Whistle [chunnel]
Thanks to Lindsay, who looks a lot better in a raccoon suit than Mario. Furplay, YOW YOW!
Mar 27 2009 Aaaahh!: They're After Our Children, Elderly
Just like lions attack in the wild, robots are planning on taking out the weakest of our proverbial herd first. Namely, children and old folks. All thanks to a little service class robot named ApriAttenda, by Toshiba.
At just one meter tall, the robot can open doors, handle trays and drinks and comes equipped with cameras in its three-fingered hands. The robot is expected to join the ranks of day care and nursing robots being designed to meet the needs of the graying populace. Shown above is the ApriAttenda being trained by one of the humans it will soon replace.
Yeah, soon replace with bloody stumps! You can't fool me, Toshiba. I don't care how googly its eyes are, that is a trained killing machine if I've ever seen one. And trust me -- I stare at one in the mirror everyday. *flexing* UH! You like this pose? Well check out *MEEEOOOOOW!* Oh God, stepped on the cat.
ApriAttenda robot updated to nurse your elders and monitor your offspring [dvice]
Mar 27 2009 Alfie Patten, You Are....Not The Father!
Remember Alfie Patten, the 13-year old that got his 15-year old girlfriend pregnant? Well, turns out he's not the father after all, and ogres really are the cheating whores I suspected. The fairy tales were true!
A DNA test showed a 13-year-old boy in Britain is not the father of a baby born to a 15-year-old he had unprotected sex with once.
Chantelle Stedman told Alfie Patten, who was 12 when he slept with her, he was her newborn daughter Maisie's father.At first Stedman said Patten was the only boy she had ever slept with, but soon after other teens came forward saying they too could be the baby's father, because they claimed to have had sex with the girl.
It is still not clear who the baby's father is.
Alfie, if you're reading, I have some advice: get your junk checked for funk and then WALK AWAY with clean hands and dong. Chalk it up as a life lesson and move on. Just be thankful you learned it now before you married the beast atop Mt. Bloodfang and were sealed to the ogre clan forever. Because that would suck. Now run, Alfie -- run as fast and far as those little child-sized feet and size 4's will take you! Also, no more sticking your penis in things until you're 30 and gainfully employed. And then only the change return slot in vending machines.
DNA test shows 13-year-old Alfie Patten is not a dad [heraldsun]
Thanks to darkfall13, Eva, Freddy, Sinclair and Romeo, who all know the only great sex is safe sex with dinosaurs.
Mar 26 2009 The Saddest 'Bottomless Beer' I've Ever Seen
The 'Endless Beer' keychain is a little keychain that gives sad alcoholics everywhere the sensation of opening the same empty beer can over and over. Because honestly, what's more fun than disappointment (besides getting hit in the nuts by the space shuttle)? Available in June, the fun-filled devices will run about $9. And, for as much shit as I talk, I'm totally buying one.
Endless Beer Can Popping Keychain! [rinkya]
Mar 26 2009 UPDATE: You Will Like Today's Woot! Shirt
UPDATE: BACK IN STOCK FOR A LIMITED TIME, GO HERE TO GET ONE.
Unfortunately they sold all 3,000 of them between midnight and 6:47 AM this morning. But don't worry, I'm sure a design this popular will be available for regular sale soon. So somebody feel free to drop that link in the comments when it becomes available. Or hell, maybe I'll actually keep up with it and post it here myself as an update. After all, I am turning over a new leaf. And also, this dead squirrel I found in the road. ZOMG, ZOMG, its guts are hanging out!!
Mar 26 2009 $$$: Complete Vintage Star Wars Toy Sets
That's a long picture, isn't it? Almost as long as an elephant's trunk, but not quite. You know, I heard if you took this picture, copied 5,000 of them, and then laid them end to end it would circle Uranus. Haha, how do you fit that thing on the john? I kid. But not really.
Anyway, if you want a complete Star Wars figure set (loose) from the original three movies (+ Power of the Force), now you can. Brian's Toys is selling two different sets, one with an AFA grading of 80 ($4,000) and one with 85 ($5,000). You can also get the sets minus Power of the Force for $2,700 and $3,500, respectively. Or, if you offer me enough I'll sell you the set I foolishly gave to my little cousin. "I said I want the toys back! Listen kid, just gimme the figures and I won't tell you you were adopted". *child crying, Geekologie Writer collecting toys* Worked like a charm! Also, I think I screwed him up pretty bad. Do I hear $30?
Product Site
via
Complete Vintage Star Wars Action Figure Collection [uncrate]
Thanks to Chuey "The Rock 'n' Roll" Midget, for being small enough to fit in an overhead compartment when we're on tour.
Mar 26 2009 When Dinos Are Packaged Together, I Win
Pfft, that ain't no fail. That, my friends, is a win. A big 'ol Geekologie Writer win. Now who wants to drive me to the toy store?
Packaging Fail [failblog]
Thanks to junkyard dog, who knows quality children's toys when he sees them.
Mar 26 2009 DIY: Homemade Tupperware Joysticks
People have been going all nuts for arcade-style joysticks since Street Fighter IV dropped, so much in fact that the official $150 FightSticks are sold out everywhere online and fetching around $300 on eBay and other sites. Ain't that some shit! But now you can make your own with a little Tupperware and ingenuity. Sure it looks ridiculous, but just think how much more ridiculous it would look if it was also a fishtank. IT WOULD LOOK SO RIDICULOUS! Tupperware fishtank arcade joystick FTW! Also, fun fact: "Chun Li panties" is surprisingly not a recommended search term on Youtube. However, I did manage to find a "Street Fighter 4 butt shots/ upskirts" video. Posted after the jump!
Hit it, pervert.
Mar 26 2009 Who Will Win?: Bruce Lee Vs. Iron Man
This is a short stop-motion video of Bruce Lee and Iron Man duking it out. Now I don't want to ruin it for you, but I will say there are hobbits involved. Intrigued? Choose your own adventure! If you decide to watch the movie, turn to page 68, if you decide not to watch, turn to page 89.
Page 68: You die.
Page 89: You die and an animal eats your corpse. Actually, it was a dinosaur. You provide just enough nourishment to the beast for a steamy romp in the mud with yours truly. I love it. Your life was not in vain!
Iron Man vs Bruce Lee: FIGHT! [gizmodo]
And a very Happy Birthday to Holly, who once punched Iron Man in his little glow-y thing and then called his mother a robot-lover.
Mar 26 2009 Head Phones Inspired By Favorite Songs
Nokia recently held a promotion encouraging designers to make a pair of headphones inspired by their favorite song. The set above is entitled 'I'm Flying' and was (no joke) created in honor of R Kelly's "I Believe I can Fly", which I am now declaring a euphemism for peeing on someone. Per the Geekologie Writer's dictionary:
I believe I can fly
Slang terminology for peeing on your partner for sexual gratification.Honey, quick -- to the bathtub, I believe I can fly!!
Hit the jump for a set of 'Thriller' inspired headspeakers.
Mar 26 2009 No Joke: Conficker C Virus Coming April 1st
That's right folks, a beefed up version of the Conficker virus, Conficker C is scheduled to wreak havoc on April 1st. Your grandparents may think it's just a joke, but it's no joke -- this is real life, son!
What's known so far is that on April 1, all infected computers will come under the control of a master machine located somewhere across the web, at which point anything's possible. Will the zombie machines become denial of service attack pawns, steal personal information, wipe hard drives, or simply manifest more traditional malware pop-ups and extortion-like come-ons designed to sell you phony security software? No one knows.
Conficker is clever in the way it hides its tracks because it uses an enormous number of URLs to communicate with HQ. The first version of Conficker used just 250 addresses each day -- which security researchers and ICANN simply bought and/or disabled -- but Conficker C will up the ante to 50,000 addresses a day when it goes active, a number which simply can't be tracked and disabled by hand.
Well, just like I did in preparation for the Y2K bug, I'm building a rocketship and blasting off into outerspace before the damage is done. Now you may be asking yourself, "self, what the hell is he still doing here if he really blasted off into outerspace?" And the answer, my friends, is none of your business (read: I'm collecting earth women for the trip). Ladies? Freeze-dried ice cream!
Beware Conficker worm come April 1 [yahoonews]
Thanks to Ashely and Xeta, who aren't worried about the virus because they don't use computers. It's true, they sent their tips snail mail and only read Geekologie telepathically.
Mar 25 2009 Canned Bacon: Perfect For Stocking Your Robot/Zombie Shelter. Also, Snacking
Canned bacon. Undoubtedly the best course of The Last Supper, Yoder brand canned bacon can now be yours. Plus, it comes in sweet-ass camo cans. Hey, where'd my bacon go?!?
For the first time in almost 20 years, canned bacon is back in this Country. Not available in any store!
More than 2 years went into the development of this bacon, and we're proud to be able to bring this back to you after improving on a what was a very successful brand of canned bacon made years ago by Celebrity Foods (registered Trademark, all rights reserved).Each can is 9 ounces of fully cooked and drained bacon. Between 2-3/4 and 3-1/4 pounds of raw bacon go into each can. Each can is the highest quality fresh #1 bacon slices. Cured to our specifications, cooked and then hand wrapped, rolled and packed in the U.S.
My God that sounds delicious. A single can will set you back $12, but that's not really bad considering it's 3 pounds of cooked bacon and will stay fresh for over 10 years. You know -- this might very well be the most delicious thing to ever come in a can. Well, besides this. Here, open it. *POW POW!* Haha, that was Geekologie brand Whoop Ass, bitch!
Hit the jump for a photo-uncanning.
Continue Reading " Canned Bacon: Perfect For Stocking Your Robot/Zombie Shelter. Also, Snacking "
Mar 25 2009 Neat: The Science Of Little Red Riding Hood
This is probably the coolest telling of Little Red Riding Hood I've ever seen not including the one where Red was a busty college co-ed and the wolf was just a guy with a monster dong and bear costume (low budget). But he still ate her alright! The grandmother too. *HORFITY HORF HORF BLOW CHUNKS*
Slagsmålsklubben [vimeo]
Thanks to Chris, who has never done a wolf but has had several cougars. Older ladies?
Mar 25 2009 Controller Soaps: Now With More Detail!
Well folks, I just got back from the doctor and am happy to announce I don't have inoperable thyroid cancer. However, I am unhappy to announce I came out from the anesthesia with my boxers on backwards. Just saying, I thought the thyroid was in my neck. But what do I know, I'm no doctor. Anyway, this is Etsy seller Digitalsoap's latest in peripheral cleaning products. If you can recall the last controller soaps we featured, they were a solid color. These ones have more detail. An XBox lather will set you back 12 credits, and a NES bar 9. Just don't drop it! Because we all know what happens if you drop the soap, don't we? We do -- you dent a corner and then it'll look stupid. Also, another inmate takes camera phone pictures of your iHole. Pfft, I've seen Oz.
Hit the jump for the NES controller.
Continue Reading " Controller Soaps: Now With More Detail! "
Mar 25 2009 OnLive: The Future Of Video Gaming?
OnLive promises to change the way we game by requiring no heavy-duty consoles or gaming rigs in the future, just a simple box and high-speed internet connection.
The brainchild of Rearden Studios founder Steve Perlman, formerly of Atari, Apple, WebTV and more, and Mike McGarvey, formerly of Eidos, the technology looks to revolutionize the way computer games are brought home. Instead of spending hundreds or thousands of dollars on the latest video game hardware that will make games like Crysis playable at nearly maxed settings, let OnLive's servers handle the processing. All that's required is a low cost "micro console" or a low end PC and a broadband internet connection.
Using patented video compression in tandem with algorithms that compensate for lag, jitter and packet loss, OnLive delivers video at up to 720p resolution at frame rates up to 60 frames per second. Of course, the quality of the video feed relies on your connection.
Well not bad. I'm really curious to see how this plays out. And by curious I mean bi-curious. NOW WHICH ONE OF YOU HANDSOME DEVILS WANTS A KISSIE?! Haha, ignore that, it's just a cold sore.
Official Site
via
OnLive Makes PC Upgrades Extinct, Lets You Play Crysis On Your TV [kotaku]
Thanks to Julian, Ryan and Miguel, who don't need consoles because they game in their heads. They're freaking crazy people.
Mar 25 2009 Wow: Man Survived Two Atomic Bombings
93-year old Tsutomu Yamaguchi was recently recognized as the first survivor of both the Nagasaki and Hiroshima atomic bomb droppings of 1945. Allegedly, he still pisses depleted uranium.
Yamaguchi was in Hiroshima on a business trip on Aug. 6, 1945, when a U.S. B-29 dropped an atomic bomb on the city. He suffered serious burns to his upper body and spent the night in the city. He then returned to his hometown of Nagasaki just in time for the second attack, city officials said.
"As far as we know, he is the first one to be officially recognized as a survivor of atomic bombings in both Hiroshima and Nagasaki," Nagasaki city official Toshiro Miyamoto said.Thousands of survivors continue to seek official recognition after the government rejected their eligibility for compensation. The government last year eased the requirements for being certified as a survivor, following criticism the rules were too strict and neglected many who had developed illnesses that doctors have linked to radiation
Speaking of radiation, I want some freaking superpowers already -- and I'm not afraid to go atomic to get them. Atomic Fireballs that is! *CRUNCH* ZOMG, too hot, too hot!!!
Man Survived 2 Atomic Bombings [aolnews]
Thanks to Pat and MoD, who have both survived three bombings and now have x-ray vision. So, what color underwear am I wearing, guys? Ha, those are my nuts is right!
Mar 25 2009 Sure, Why Not?: Turning The 8-Bit Gameboy Metroid Into A 16-Bit Full Color Version
Remember when Metroid II: Return of Samus came out for the Gameboy (1992)? I remember it like it was yesterday because I have a time machine and may or may not have stopped in the early 90's on my way back from the Jurassic era (best singles cruise EVER). Anyway, Project AM2R (Another Metroid 2 Remake) was undertaken to turn the 8-bit Gameboy game into a 16-bit, full color joint. This is a video demo, which I'm not afraid to admit gave me a nostalgic boner. Did somebody just say pogs? *BOING!*
Thanks to Keej, who once stuck it to Mother Brain like nobody's business. You nasty, Keej.
Mar 25 2009 Stephen Colbert's Name On Space Station
Stephen Colbert just won a contest to have a new section of the International Space Station named after him. Unfortunately, those sticklers at NASA probably won't let it fly -- or orbit (ZING!).
The name "Colbert" beat out NASA's four suggested options in the space agency's effort to have the public help name the addition. The new room will be launched later this year.
NASA's mistake was allowing write-ins.Colbert urged viewers of his Comedy Central show, "The Colbert Report" to write in his name - and they complied, with 230,539 votes. That clobbered Serenity, one of the NASA choices, by more than 40,000 votes.
NASA reserves the right to choose an appropriate name. Agency spokesman John Yembrick said NASA will decide in April, but will give top vote-getters "the most consideration."
Colbert sounds just as good as Serenity if you ask me. But they're both kind of weak. I was sort of hoping for something with a little more pizazz. Namely, "The GW's Intergalactic Boom Boom Room: where the beer is yesterday's urine and the lapdances are OUT OF THIS WORLD®".
Comic Colbert wins NASA space station name contest [yahoonews]
Thanks to Pepe Le PEWPEW, who wrote in 'The PEW PEW Room', which I agree, does have a ring to it.
Mar 25 2009 Real Life Spider-Man Rescues Autistic Boy
A quick-thinking Thai fireman came to the rescue recently when he dressed as Spider-Man in order to coerce an 8-year old autistic student off a high ledge.
Teachers at a special needs school in Bangkok alerted authorities on Monday when an autistic pupil, scared of attending his first day at school, sat out on the third-floor ledge and refused to come inside, a police sergeant told AFP.
Despite teachers' efforts to beckon the boy inside, he refused to budge until his mother mentioned her son's love of superheroes, prompting fireman Sonchai Yoosabai to take a novel approach to the problem.The rescuer dashed back to his fire station and made a quick change into a Spider-Man costume before returning to the boy, he said.
"I told him Spider-Man is here to rescue you, no monsters are going to attack you and I told him to walk slowly towards me as running could be dangerous," Somchai told local television.
The boy came to the masked hero without hesitation (I hope no candy vanners are reading this). Sonchai says the fire department keeps Spider-Man and Ultraman costumes to "liven up school fire drills", and also, "freaky deaky sex". Well PEW PEW to you too, Bangkok Fire Dept.
Thai fireman in 'spider-man' rescue of autistic boy [yahoonews]
Thanks to Joemo, Sam and Jason, who ask, "where were you, Iron Man?"
Mar 24 2009 I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream....
For hot beef sundaes? I want mine with extra bacon jimmies.
Hot Beef Sundae [foundshit]
Thanks to tohwee, who really does love hot meat.
Mar 24 2009 Own Your Own Velociraptor Trophy Mount
Remember the life-like Dilophosaurus mount that Geekologie Reader Josh made? Well he's at it again, this time with a 1:1 scale velociraptor head!
Up for auction is a full size replica of the Velociraptor from Jurassic Park. It measures 28 inches from the nose to base of the mount. It is made of high quality poly urethane resin that has been painted and sealed. The dinosaur is mounted to a wooden base that can be mounted to a wall like a trophy animal.
Josh is selling the head on eBay. Current bidding is at $200 with 6 days remaining. Now I really hope none of you outbid me, because this thing would look perfect mounted in my trophy room. And by 'trophy room' I obviously mean bedroom. And when I say 'bedroom' I'm talking the actual bed. And by bed I mean my ass. Sexy time!
Hit the jump for a couple more pictures and another link to the auction.
Mar 24 2009 Cool, I Want Some: Darth Vader Money
This is the way money looked a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Or, I dunno, as imagined by DeviantArt user Diablo2003. As you can see, Vader opted for a helmet-on shot, which I think we can all agree, was the smart decision. Nobody wants to see your crusty-ass rutabaga head on their space bucks!
Star Bucks: Darth Vader Money [uberreview]
Mar 24 2009 Okay: WALL-E/Watchmen Trailer Mashup
This is a mashup of the WALL-E trailer set to the audio of the Watchmen trailer, because, well, I don't know why. Shit, people get bored.
I decided to take a crack at what many have done for other films; and set the audio from Watchmen's epic IMAX teaser to scenes from one of my favourite films of all time. So sit back, and enoy WALL•E redone in Watchmen's style!
Not bad. Not super dooper either, but hey, what did you expect? And speaking of expectations -- I have a blind date tonight. Boy, I sure hope she's sporting dual eye patches!
Thanks to NeoAaron, who I suspect of killing the old Aaron and stealing his life force.
Mar 24 2009 Son Paints 60-Foot Phallus On Parent's Roof
Rory McInnes, 18, inspired by a television program he watched about Google Earth, climbed onto his parent's roof and painted a 60-foot phallus with a bucket of white paint. It took his parents over a year to discover the monster shlong, and now Rory "will have to scrub it off when he gets back from traveling". Haha, scrub it off. But seriously, who the hell paints a giant member ON THEIR OWN HOUSE? Sorry, but I'm chalking this one up as a penis painting fail, Rory. Better luck next dong.
60-foot penis painted on roof [bbcnews]
Thanks to Andy Mac, a-lice, Cian and Pesche, who are all smart enough to only paint junk on other people's houses.
Mar 24 2009 Tired Yet?: The Periodic Table Of Controllers
Haha, just when you thought the periodic tables were beat to death with a lead pipe like the way I did that hooker zombie last night -- think again! WICKA-POW, the periodic table of controllers! Hit THIS BUTTON to see a bigger version. You know, one you can actually read. And speaking of actually reading -- I never learned. Thank God for speech recognition software, am I right? End post. Google "dinosaur porn". Delete. Google "dinosaur porn triceratops". What the? I said END POST. Strike out previous six sentences. I SAID STRIKE OUT PREVIOUS SIX SENTENCES. Shit. Oh well, nobody actually reads Geekologie anyways, right? Google "dinosaur porn stegosaurus".
And Now, The Periodic Table of Game Controllers [gizmodo]
Thanks to ardas, who MOM CAN YOU PUT A KID CUISINE IN THE MICROWAVE FOR ME?
Mar 24 2009 More Marie-Claude Bourbonnais Cosplay Action: Frost From Mortal Kombat
I know, it's been too long since our last installment of Marie-Claude, and I'm sorry. If I could do a dance and make it rain hot cosplay everyday, believe me, I would. Unfortunately, I can't dance on these peglegs. Anyway, here is the latest from chesty Ms. Bourbonnais and photographer Gil P. As you can see, she's Frost from Mortal Kombat. And speaking of which, my huevos could use a little cool down. Some help over here, Frost? No? OH YOU ARE SO COLD!
Hit the jump for several more and another link to the whole set in case you couldn't find it in the text above.
Continue Reading " More Marie-Claude Bourbonnais Cosplay Action: Frost From Mortal Kombat "
Mar 24 2009 British Scientists Producing Synthetic Blood
Apparently British scientists are ahead of everyone else in the race to produce a synthetic blood supply using stem cells. Go you, Britain, here's a teacake.
Because stem cells multiply indefinitely, it would be possible to enormous quantities, researchers said.
The cells can be made from universal donor embryos - the O-negative type - and can be guaranteed to be free of infections because they have never been inside a human.The idea of destroying embryos to create stem cells raises ethical issues, but in theory, just one embryo could meet the nation's needs.
Stem cells aside, I think the real issue is this: if synthetic blood is so readily available, how are we going to track the vampire population? I've seen Blade, those bastards are crafty. I suggest we start culling the herd now before it's too late. And speaking of culling -- I'll take care of Edward, you get the rest.
British scientists on course to become the first to produce synthetic human blood [dailymail]
Thanks to phuzzygish, who one made some pretty believable synthetic blood with corn syrup and food coloring.
Mar 24 2009 Kid Plays Mos Eisley Cantina Song On Harp
This is 12 year old Benjamin playing the iconic song from the Mos Eisley Cantina on a harp. He's pretty good. You know, I always wanted a harp growing up but my parents were too cheap to buy me one. So to spite them, I picked up the skin-flute. *TOOT TOOT TOOT TOOTLE TOOT* Whoa, Link, what are you doing here?
Thanks to Tim, who just wants to bang on his drums all day.
Mar 23 2009 At Least He Was Honest: Internet Scam Fail
I can't even count the number of times I've been contacted by Nigerian princes to help move their money out of the country. Unfortunately, I don't keep a bank account because that's just another way the man tries to keep tabs on my brothel me on a short leash. Anyway, I like how the scammer comes out of character at the end with a "thanks man". That was great. Not as great as my love for you, but I have a big heart. And hands. Hey, did you know if your hand is bigger than your face you'll die young? It's true -- you should try it. *SMACK-A-POW* Wow, I can't believe you fell for that. Ha, or when I told you I loved you.
Thanks to Joemo, who once conned an old lady out of her retirement by having sex with her. Gross, Joemo.
Mar 23 2009 Sure, Why Not?: Cassette Tape Art
'Ghost in the Machine' is a series of artwork by Flickr user iri5 that uses old cassette tapes (or film) to create the likenesses of famous musicians/actors. Pretty clever. Not as clever as jumping off the top of the apartment building with a parachute fashioned from a 13-gallon garbage bag, but hey -- not everybody's a modern Da Vinci. GERONIMO!
UPDATE: Oh God -- little help over here! I think my leg came off when I hit that bush. No, not that one -- the next bush down. Yeah, now more towards the back. Find it? No, that's my penis, keep looking.
Hit the link for the rest.
Flickr Gallery
via
Strange, Archaic Audio Storage Device Used to Create Impressive Musician Artwork [gizmodo]
Mar 23 2009 Scientific: A Periodic Table Of XBox Games
The latest in a line of geeky periodic tables comes the Periodic Table of XBox Games from Blackwalt (possibly of LOST fame). Full size version HERE and description of all "elements" HERE. Good looking. I hope you can appreciate it as much as I do. And also, this cake. P.S. I baked a stripper inside just for you. Be careful -- she's smokin' hot! But only temperature wise, she's actually just an ugly hooker. Or she was, before I hit her with my car. Now she's a liability. And also -- your problem. Gotta go!
A Masterpiece from HoC Productions [herdofcats]
Thanks Blackwalt, now tell me: what's the secret of the island?
Mar 23 2009 Epic 30,500 Piece LEGO Star Wars Ship
I know, it looks like the toy you found in your girlfriend's sock drawer, but trust me, it's not. This thing is like half that size. Thomas Benedikt went and made Admiral Ackbar's command ship Home One (not to be confused with going all the way with a lady) out of 30,500 LEGO pieces. It took 11 months to build, lays just short of 7-feet long, and cost $5,500 to complete. It even has LED lighting effects throughout (hit the jump for a picture). Good looking, Thomas. Next time I need a scale model of a Star Wars ship made I know who to go to. Or do I? Maybe I'll take my business to THIS guy. Now, I want you two to fight.
Hit the jump for a bunch more and a link to an even larger gallery.
Mar 23 2009 Batman's Icon Mutations Over The Years
This is a video that shows, in chronological order, Batman's logo morphing over the years. It starts all the way back in 1941 with Batman with Robin, The Boy Wonder from Detective Comics. I thought it was pretty neat. So, what will the bat look like in another 70 years? If you guessed, "extinct", you're probably correct. And also, a pessimist. Look at your glass -- is your beer half empty? I drank it when you weren't looking!
Thanks to Julian and The Superficial Writer, who played naked Twister with Batman in the woods and neither payed attention to Poison Ivy. True story.
Mar 23 2009 The Super Nintoaster Burnt My Cartridge :(
The Super Nintoaster is a Super Nintendo in a toaster's body. It's similar to that time I dressed as a woman and solicited men at the bar (Friday), but nowhere near as good looking. It's maker, Mr. Vomitsaw, discusses:
Built from nothing more than a Super NES, a toaster, four different types of adhesives, magnets ripped from a broken hard drive, six orange LEDs, a bunch of resistors, plexiglass, and many many spare wires. Not too dissimilar from my previous toaster, only this time the temperature comtrol knob DOES serve a purpose! If for some reason you feel the need to adjust the brightness of the orange LEDs, now you can.
Good looking, Mr. Vomitsaw. Or should I call you Mr. Barfblade? Pukepruner? Heavecleaver?
Hit the jump for a video of the SNES toasty-ness.
Continue Reading " The Super Nintoaster Burnt My Cartridge :( "
Mar 23 2009 True Blood Advertisements In New Zealand
HBO posted these True Blood posters in New Zealand (who seems to get much cooler ads than we do) to advertise the upcoming season of the blood-sucking series starting June 2009. As you can see, each ad features several handy-dandy vampire pokers should you find yourself with some pointy-toothed bastard eying your neck on the bus. Ya best protect ya neck! And also, your purse -- vampires are thieves! It's true, that dreamy Edward Cullen stole my heart. You smell that? *sniiiiiiiiiiiiff* Smells like Twilight on DVD!
Hit the jump for several more pictures, this one and the next of which were taken by New Zealand Geekologie operative, Jonathan.
Continue Reading " True Blood Advertisements In New Zealand "
Mar 22 2009 I Need Some!: Mercury(II) Thiocyanate
Mercury Thiocyanate used to be made into "Pharoah's Serpent" fireworks similar to the "black snake" tablets you light and watch grow into a crusty snake. Unfortunately, it produces mercury vapors during the process so now the tablets are made out of a much safer sodium bicarbonate compound. Boo, I know. Still, wicked awesome if you can get your hands on some. Which, thanks to my ultra-sweet Geekologie connections, I just have. So -- are you thinking what I'm thinking? If you guessed, "glue-stick a bunch to my penis and try to impress women at the bar", you are. High-five! Haha, that was just glue-stick, I swear. Now watch this!
UPDATE: IT BUUUUUUUURNS! *helicoptering* Ladies?
Thanks to John, who once beat Mr. Wizard in a match-holding contest.
Mar 22 2009 Hot: Female Reader Wielding Master Sword
Responding to my request that the gamer chick pose atop a dinosaur with Link's Master Sword, Geekologie Reader Pepper sent me a picture of herself wielding said sword. Unfortunately, there's no dinosaur (just two ponies humping and a questionable computer background).
Though this message contains less than 1% real dinosaur, cosplaying, action, it does contain a gamer girl with a Master Sword. ME! Win? plz? *meep*
Much love to Geekologie, I visit your site several times a day, and is (sadly) typically the highlight of any given day, unless there is a new episode of Mythbusters on, or if my Charizard levels up. Level 78 bitches!
Hey, I'll take it. Also, I really think this is a step in the right direction for Geekologie. Namely, boob north. Ladies?
Thanks Pepper, now if you could just find a horse that looks like Epona....
Mar 22 2009 I Believe I Can Fly: Terrafugia Takes 1st Flight
Remember the Terrafugia "roadable aircraft" (drivable plane)? Well it took its first test flight earlier this month, and as is evident from this video after the jump, it was boring as shit. The Terrafugly has a 450-mile flying range, converts from plane to plane that can drive in 30-seconds, and is still scheduled for sale in 2011 for about $200K. Which means your kids can probably expect a wealthy neighbor crash-landed in the backyard sometime soon. ZOMG, his eyeball is hanging out of the socket. Quick -- poke it back in with a stick!
Hit the jump for the video and a bunch more pictures (one of which gave me a little twitter down there).
Continue Reading " I Believe I Can Fly: Terrafugia Takes 1st Flight "
