Mar 14 2009 MacBook Modded With Screen In Apple Logo
Some guy went and modded a MacBook with a fully functional LCD screen in place of the traditional glowing Apple logo on the back. It's set up as a second monitor too so he can precisely control whatever appears on the thing. But mostly he uses it to display his webcam or iTunes Visualizer. Impressive, guy, but not nearly as impressive as my Apple logo mod, which is -- wait for it, wait for it....a saltwater fish tank! Boom-shacka-lacka!
Mar 14 2009 Fun With Offfice Supplies: A Wire Mario Kart
Donald Kenny gets bored at work. REALLY bored. So what does he do? Sneak out the back? Play video games? Surf Facebook incessantly like a normal person? No. He makes Mario Kart sculptures using office supplies. As you can see, this is a paper clip and wire Mario. Good looking, Donald. Now tell me -- what his mustache is made out of? And also, is he selling rides? If I steal his rims I'll have 70¢.
Hit the jump for one more shot.
Continue Reading " Fun With Offfice Supplies: A Wire Mario Kart "
Mar 14 2009 Elementary: The Periodic Table Of Typefaces
Somebody went and made a periodic table of typefaces featuring "100 of the most popular, influential and notorious typefaces today". This is it. Click HERE to see a high-res version, then go ahead and print it out and post it up on your cubicle wall. That way when somebody pokes their head in to ask you about doing some work you can yell, "TALK TO THE PERIODIC TABLE....OF TYPEFACES!". Then they'll all think you're crazy and leave you to your Solitaire.
Periodic Table ofTypefaces [behance]
Thanks to ashleigh, who is like a font groupie.
Mar 13 2009 I Really Want One: Porkgasm In A Pan
Porkgasm: a pig roast made entirely out of meat -- just like the real thing! And *sniff* probably the most beautiful thing I've ever wanted to put in my mouth. Ha, except for that Fabergé egg. Delicious and nutritious gold.
Hit the jump for a pictorial of how to make a Porkgasm.
Mar 13 2009 Quattro Technology Toilet Flushes Anything
Sure the St Thomas Creations Toilet with Quattro Flushing technology can flush 2.5 lbs of baby carrots, 4 whole plastic chess sets, 3 lbs of large gummi bears, 18 large hot dogs, 78 plastic letter and number refrigerator magnets, 3.5 lbs of grapes, 20 golf balls and 3.5 lbs of dog food, but what about a turd?
The World's Most Flushingest Toilet [presurfer]
Thanks to Romeo, who once flushed an elephant down a toilet and it remembers.
Mar 13 2009 People Still Pogo?: The Flybar Pogo Stick
Sorry for the delay folks, I just got back from the doctor for a checkup. Yeah, and you know that whole 'turn your head and cough bit'? Well, the doctor didn't properly anticipate the weight of my nuts and broke his wrist. True story. Anyway, the Flybar is a ridiculously stupid looking pogo stick that allegedly bounces higher than a regular one.
It does this using some seriously strong elastic bands known as rubber thrusters that increase the maximum bounce height to a whopping seven feet six inches. You can snag a Flybar of your own for a whopping $320.
Pfft, forget the Flybar -- I've got four-and-one-quarter inches of rubber thruster for you right here. *squeak squeak squeak* Anybody?
Flybar is one seriously juiced up pogo stick [dvice]
Mar 13 2009 Killzone Ads Pulled From Canadian Bus Stops
Over 300 Toronto bus stops have had their Killzone 2 ads pulled due to the violent imagery present.
Teacher Davis Mirza emailed Sony Canada, which makes PlayStation games, after seeing an ad for Killzone 2 in the bus shelter near his Scarborough school.
"My kids, who come from a lot of different countries, who have to experience violence, who basically come here to seek shelter and safety, that's the stuff they don't need to see," said the Grade 4/5 teacher at Pauline Johnson Junior Public School, near Birchmount Rd. and Sheppard Ave. E.The central image in the ad is a "menacing head with glowing eyes," wearing a mask with a breathing tube, Mirza said.
The secondary image shows what appears to be a war zone, "like Iraq," he said.
Hmm, I didn't read about any actual kids complaining. Live in reality, Mr. Mirza -- the apocalypse is coming. Would you rather have our children prepared, or cowering in a corner? And speaking of cowering in a corner: the end of Blair Witch Project -- scary.
Violent video game ads pulled from bus shelters [thstar]
Thanks to Ryan, who had to stop advertising his sexual services because his female customers were too satisfied.
Mar 13 2009 Vroom Vroom: Pow-Pow-POWER WHEELS!
This is a video of some folks riding over-powered Power Wheels. It looks like they're having about as much fun as one can have in the snow without a Woolly Mammoth. Which, I am happy to announce, is like *this close* to being cloned. Suffice it to say SOMEBODY has been loading up on Trojan Magnums -- and I think it's you!
Over-Powered Power Wheels [liveleak]
Thanks to Julian, who drove his Power Wheels right into a telephone pole and lived to come back and cut the pole down with a chainsaw.
Mar 13 2009 Chug Those Dots!: A Pac-Man Energy Drink
Nearly thirty years after the yellow dot-munching fool made his first appearance, the mouthy bastard finally gets his own energy drink. Pac-Man Power Up Energy Drink is a three-dollar 8.4oz cherry flavored caffeine high that'll have you bouncing off the walls before you can say, "threeway with Inky and Blinky. No, wait -- Blinky and Clyde. Okay, whoever the blue and orange ones are, those are the ones I want. Finally answer! Oh, and Ms. Pac-Man can watch if she wants." Haha, caffeine isn't instantaneous, silly!
pac-man energy drink perfect for washing down power pills, pretzels, strawberries and ghosts [technabob]
Mar 13 2009 Sissypants Suing Over Exploded iPod Touch
A 17-year old and his family are suing Apple after an iPod Touch allegedly blew up in the sissy's pocket and caused 2nd degree burns.
It claims the boy had his i-pod touch off and in his pocket at school on December 4th, when he heard a pop and felt a burning sensation.
The lawsuit is seeking more than 200-thousand dollars in damages.
Pfft, I've got some 2nd degree burns but you don't see me trying to sue Cup Noodles. No, I think there's more to this story than the family is telling us. Namely, their house is about to be foreclosed and there was a reciprocating saw involved in the explosion. Elementary my dear, Watson. Now, fetch me a glass of the good stuff and come sit on Sherlock's lap.
Family Sues Apple Over Exploding iPod [local12]
Thanks to Douche McAllister, who had an entire sever blow up and catch fire in his pants but refused to sue because he's a real man with wrought-iron genitalia.
Mar 13 2009 Avon Selling The Resident Evil T-Virus
So apparently Avon is selling the T-virus to unsuspecting women who want fuller, plumper looking faces. Little do they know they're gonna get just the opposite!
First from Avon: injectable-grade facial filler. A skin care breakthrough! Fullness perfected, not injected!* Dramatic results for dramatically less! Super concentrated serum.** 3x the level of injectable-grade hyaluronic acid for dramatic filling & plumping.*** In just 3 days, begins to reduce the look of deep folds. In 2 weeks, 82% of women saw more youthful fullness in the cheek area.**** In 4 weeks, dramatically reduces the look of deep facial folds and hollowness.
In 5 weeks, you're a zombie and the GW has to take your head off with a shotgun because he won't put up any of your 'NAR NAR BRAINS' zombie bombie bullshit. PEW PEW, Avon, PEW PEW.
Product Site
and
Avon's Derma-Full Totally Looks Like The T-virus [totallylookslike]
Thanks to gordon and residentistEVIL, who called in Rad to the power of Sick today and rushed out to pick up Resident Evil 5.
Mar 12 2009 Freaky Deaky: DIY Bedroom Toy Goes Wrong
Now I'm not saying there's not a place for reciprocating saws in the bedroom, I'm just saying if you do decide to get freaky with a power tool, TAKE THE BLADE OFF FIRST. Do not, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES (except really, really dire ones) just ram a fake wiener on the existing blade. Because then you'll end up like this poor lady.
The saw cut through the plastic toy and wounded the woman, according to TheBayNet.com. The injuries were severe enough for medevac, but the woman was released from the hospital Monday and is recovering from her unusual injuries.
Investigators talked to the woman, who told them she suffered the injuries during a consensual act and that she and her partner were trying something new and no crime was committed, the sheriff's office said.
Trying something new -- I'll say! When I think 'trying something new' I think a clean sock or sitting on my hand for awhile, not power tools. Although....
MEDIC!
Woman Injured in Power Tool Sex Toy Encounter [nbcnewyork]
via
Saber Saw Sex Toy Incident: DIY Gone Very, Very Wrong [gizmodo]
Mar 12 2009 See It In Action!: The UroClub Commercial
We posted on the awesomeness that is the UroClub last year. And now, there's a commercial that explains just how easy and convenient it is to use (read: screw cap off, piss in it, screw cap on). Best quote: "The UroClub comes with a towel and appears that you're just checking out your club." Also, I loved how the last five seconds of the commercial featured three guys standing side by side pissing on a tree and pretending they're not trying to sneak a peak at each others' johnsons. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it common courtesy to leave at least one tree between you and another pisser? Just sayin'.
Gold Club Fail [failblog]
Thanks to iron angel for hitting me with the follow up. Now hit me with those digits, girl! That is, if you are a girl. Otherwise, forget that number I gave you.
Mar 12 2009 Geekologie Reader Makes Left 4 Dead Pipe Bomb Cake, I'd Detonate It -- In My Mouth!
Loyal Geekologie Reader Ross made himself a Left 4 Dead pipe bomb cake. He had this to say about his incendiary delectable:
I made a Left 4 Dead pipe bomb cake and it sort of looks awful and awesome both at the same time.
Truer words have never been written, Ross. Am I right? I am. What was that -- who said I wasn't? Oh helllllll no -- boy, don't make me drop a nom nom bomb on that ass!
Thanks Ross, I hope it wasn't explosive on it's way out. HIYO!
Mar 12 2009 Thrill Seekers: A Ski-Jump Bathroom Stall
This is a bathroom stall in some Japanese ski resort that actually serves as an advertisement for a Coca-Cola coffee product (ad on toilet paper holder and back wall). As you can see, it was designed to look like a realistic ski-jump (or dump), complete with skis painted on the ground and everything. You just sit down, close your eyes, and imagine you're atop the mountain, ready to launch yourself off a cliff. Then open them and realize you've thrown yourself off the seat and shit on your leg.
Another picture after the jump.
Continue Reading " Thrill Seekers: A Ski-Jump Bathroom Stall "
Mar 12 2009 Wow: What A Trillion Dollars Looks Like
Remember when we showed you what a billion dollars looks like? Well this is what a trillion dollars looks like. Allegedly. That little red stick on the left is supposed to be a human, for reference. Now I'm not very good at math so I couldn't actually make any direct comparisons between the real billion dollars and this hypothetical trillion dollars, but I'd believe just about anything somebody tells me. Free candy? Just let me grab my bookbag.
This particular rendering was made through Google SketchUp, Google's 3D modeling software. Measurements were taken of a $10,000 stack of $100 bills (just half an inch thick!) and pretty much multiplied from there using simple geometry. In that trillion dollar shot, each pallet holds $100 million...and the pallets are double stacked.
Now whether this is an accurate portrayal of a trillion dollars is irrelevant. What is relevant is that I'm going to steal it. I don't care if it's just a rendering, I'll steal the computer it was made on. I'm gonna be rich! A trillion dollars, son, that's like....almost a zillion.
To Conceptualize a Trillion Dollars, We Require Computer Visualization [gizmodo]
Thanks to Harrison, who I will blame for the crime and then give half the money to once he's out of prison. Provided I haven't spent it all already (I'll have spent it all already).
Mar 12 2009 Wine: World's Most Complicated Corkscrew
This is the world's most complicated corkscrew. It not only opens a bottle, but pours it into your glass as well. The machine was allegedly made out of 300+ found parts and is going into limited production of 100 units. Which makes me wonder just how "found" the parts really were. Anybody else get the feeling they were "found" in a box of ordered supplies? Clever. But not nearly as clever as my corkscrew, which is a machete. Yeah, I learned the trick watching Big Trouble in Little China. "Nothing or double, Jack". Pork Chop Express FTW!
Now feel free to leave your favorite Big Trouble quote in the comments.
The Corkscrew a Marvel of Mechanical Artistry [uberreview]
Mar 12 2009 Superman: Perhaps A Little Too Strong
Been there. Was not super.
Action Comics Fail [failblog]
Mar 12 2009 I'm In Love: New Samus Cosplay Girl *Swoon*
Sweet mother of Metroid, will you look at that. In competition for sexiest Samus Aran ever is deviantartist and cosplayer Yukilefay (26-year-old Thaís Jussim). What do you think? How does she compare to the current reigning Samus? I have to admit, I was hoping she'd have a Zero Suit too, like Jenni did. Regardless, great freaking job.
The beast of a bounty hunter suit is lit by 73 battery powered LEDs and set Jussim back $350 in material costs.
Jussim, who created the suit with the help of friends and family, says the suit weighs about 23 pounds and is surprisingly not very comfortable. Who would have guessed. Jussim also reveals that there's, uh... Zero Suit Samus cosplay in the works, by the way. It's her next project.
Oh snap -- I hadn't even read that when I was writing the opener. Hot damn! I will have to reserve final judgment then until after I see the Zero Suit. But for right now, at least according to the bone-ometer, Jenni's still up by a head length.
Hit the jump for several more, including Samus at a rock concert, as well as a link to the full gallery.
Continue Reading " I'm In Love: New Samus Cosplay Girl *Swoon* "
Mar 11 2009 Who Watches The (Minifig) Watchmen?
Apparently Sir Nadroj, who custom-made these Watchmen figures himself. Good looking, Sir. Now if you could get started on making me a set of minifigs from the Monkey Island series, that would be hot. How hot, you ask? THE BURNINATOR!!
Lego Watchmen Minifigs Are Not Official but They Are Officially Amazing [gizmodo]
Mar 11 2009 Lincoln's Pocketwatch Contained Secret Message, Secret Not So Secret Anymore
Apparently a watchmaker who was repairing President Lincoln's watch on the day gunfire broke out at Fort Sumter, SC (sparking the civil war), secretly immortalized the day by engraving a note inside Lincoln's pocketwatch.
The engraving, by watchmaker Jonathan Dillon, is dated April 13, 1861, and reads in part: "Fort Sumpter was attacked by the rebels" and "thank God we have a government."
Forty-five years later, Dillon the watchmaker told The New York Times that he was repairing Lincoln's watch when he heard that the first shots of the Civil War had been fired.Dillon said he unscrewed the dial of the watch and used a sharp instrument to mark the historic day on the president's watch. He told the newspaper that, as far as he knew, no one had ever seen the inscription.
The National Museum of American History agreed to open the watch to see if the inscription was there after being contacted by Dillon's grandson. And lo and behold -- there she blew! Apparently Lincoln never knew about it -- probably because he was too busy chopping down cherry trees. Am I right? What do you mean, "that was Washington?" Carver? I thought he was the peanut guy.
Museum finds "secret" message in Lincoln's watch [reuters]
Thanks to NTF, who found a hidden message in her Tokyoflash. It read "Made in Japan".
Mar 11 2009 They're After Our Children!: Robot Substitute
Have kids? Well you won't for long if Saya, the robot substitute, has her way. The harbinger of death is allegedly multilingual, capable of calling roll, reading, and assigning work from textbooks. Also, scaring the shit out of your children.
Behind her latex face -- modeled on a university student -- 18 motors create expressions including happiness, surprise, fear, disgust, sadness and even anger.
Saya will start teaching after passing a trial term at a Tokyo primary.Her creator, science professor Hiroshi Kobayashi, had been working on the robot for 15 years.
Wow, robotic substitutes -- what will they think of next? Robotic cafeteria ladies? That would suck, because I'm a boy that needs extra fish sticks, and you can't bribe a robot. Or can you? Hey Roomba, I'll oil you if you clean under the bed really well. *BEEP BOP BEEP* DOES NOT COMPUTE. You piece of shit, I knew I never should have WOOTed you.
Hit the jump to see what your robotic substitute looks like with no face.
Continue Reading " They're After Our Children!: Robot Substitute "
Mar 11 2009 Race Car Controlled With Blackberry Storm
So apparently some guys programmed a Blackberry Storm to control a little toy race car using its accelerometers. Then they posted the video on Youtube. Then McLaren saw the video and contacted them about using the device to control a real race car. And that's what they did (second half of the video). Pretty neat. Sure, not as neat as controlling a race car with your mind, but hey, we'd have to go to the aliens for that technology. Which would probably require a few sacrificial probings. Just saying, I'm friends with them. Ladies? No? Okay, plan B. Effeminate gentlemen?
Thanks to Curtis and Troy, who both know race car is the same spelled forward and backwards. It's palindromic!
Mar 11 2009 Hopside Down: It IS Worth Crying Over Spilled Beer -- And I'm Man Enough To Admit It
Hopside Down is a beer glass by Fred & Friends that looks like an inverted bottle. It hurts my brain just to look at and I couldn't imagine myself successfully drinking out of it without pouring beer in my shoes. Still, maybe there are a few of you out there that are more skilled in the ways of drinking than yours truly. Ha, that was the biggest lie I've ever told -- nobody beats the GW at the game of life called drinking. Isn't that right, F. Scott?
The Ghost of F. Scott Fitzgerald: It's true -- I have a hangover as Big as the Ritz. I....feel Curiouser Than The Case of Benjamin Button This Side of Paradise. You sir, are indeed the Last Tycoon (BOOM -- literary headshots!). Hey, stay away from my wife!
Me: Shut up, Francis. Hey Zelda -- wanna touch my Master Sword?
Thanks to Matt, who only drinks out of his boot because he's a real cowboy. Now let's raise and rope broncos!
Mar 11 2009 First Look At Bioshock 2's Big Sisters
I dunno, it kind of looks like the lovechild of Altair from Assassin's Creed and a steampunk G.L.A.D.O.S. from Portal. Which, I think we can all agree, makes for one hell of a sexy enemy! *wolf whistle* Hey Big Sis, come get some of this! Haha, I know that sounded wrong but I'm not taking it back.
First Image of BioShock 2's Big Sister [kotaku]
Thanks to Julian and junkyard dog, who find both find the Big Sisters even more attractive than I do, which makes them both sick in the head.
Mar 11 2009 New iPod Shuffle Speaks, Lacks Wheel
The new iPod Shuffle's capacity has been doubled to 4GB, and now the minuscule music player doesn't have a control wheel. But how will you ever reign over your music? Simple -- with controls on the earbud cord. WHEE!
The new design keeps the clip and adds VoiceOver -- a new feature that gets around the lack of display by telling you which song is playing and who performs it at the touch of a button on the earbud cable. It'll also call out your playlists and let you navigate to others. Available in black or silver for $80 and your claim to what Apple calls the "world's smallest music player."
World's smallest music player my ass. I happen to own the world's smallest music player. It's a violin. *rubbing fingers together* Can you hear that? It's the REAL world's smallest music player playing "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath. Bitchin'!
Five minute promotional video about the new Shuffle after the jump.
Mar 11 2009 Go-Go Gadget Ugly: Dr. Claw's Real Face
This is a picture of Dr. Claw's face from Inspector Gadget. For those of you who wanted to keep it a mystery, I'm sorry, but I was too lazy to edit a picture with a censor bar. Oh, and the Easter Bunny isn't real either -- it's just some sex offender in a rabbit costume. Geekologie: shooting straight from the hip since April, 2006.
Hit the jump for a full body shot and bonus MAD Cat.
Continue Reading " Go-Go Gadget Ugly: Dr. Claw's Real Face "
Mar 10 2009 Geekologie Review: The Clarion MiND
WOOT -- a product review. I took the Clarion MiND to find the grave of F. Scott Fitzgerald and then, in his honor, to the bar. Hit the jump to find out how it all went down.
Mar 10 2009 Control Your iPod With Facial Gestures
That's right, thanks to Kazuhiro Taniguchi of Osaka University, soon stopping the music on your iPod will be as simple as sticking out your ass-shaped tongue.
The Ear Switch looks like a normal set of headphones, according to an Agence France Press report, but includes a set of sensors that allows its on-board computer to measure tiny ear-canal movements.
The result, Taniguchi claimed, is that "an iPod can start or stop music when the wearer sticks his or her tongue out".He added that the user can also skip to the next track by widely opening their eyes or skip back by winking. Other facial expressions could also be programmed to control other features.
Well that's a relief. I mean seriously, my fingers get tired of pushing all those little buttons anyways. I can see the bus now: wait, did you just wink at me? I said, STOP THE WINKING! That's it buddy, fisticuffs -- you asked for them!
Boffin unveils facial expression-controlled iPod [reghardware]
Thanks to Rick and krabivana, who control their iPods the way God intended: with child laborers.
Mar 10 2009 What If....You RAIDED 24 SSDs Together?
Apparently this is some sort of Samsung advertisement showing what you can do when you RAID 24 256GB solid state drives together. The fun includes: achieving a transfer rate of over 2GB/sec, opening all of Microsoft Office in a half-second, opening all 53 programs in the start menu in 18 seconds, and playing Crysis in high resolution. WHEE! Of course, seeing how similarly sized SSDs run $700+ apiece, this is one hell of an expensive set up. Which is why I stole it. Finally -- Jesus Crysis! PEW PEW!
Youtube
Thanks to Steven and Blinzler, who both have supercomputers in their heads. Did that just boggle your mind? Because it didn't theirs' -- they have computers for brains.
Mar 10 2009 Hamster Jackets Harness Piezoelectricity
Finally. I say it's about damn time we fit our hamsters with little jackets that harness all the energy they're wasting when running incessantly in their little wheels. Also, we're harnessing the power of the wheel too, right?
To harness hamster power, the scientists sewed electricity-generating threads one-fiftieth the width of a human hair into a yellow jacket worn by the hamsters as they ran. A human-sized jacket, capable of powering an iPod, could be ready in as little as three years.
"This can totally be scaled up," said Zhong Lin 'ZL' Wang, who co-authored a paper describing the research in this month's issue of Nano Letters. "This is just the first step. The idea is that we would harvest energy from any body movement, from walking, breathing, from any kind of vibration."
Well shit, let's scale it up to dinosaurs then. I could design a hell of a piezo-electric jacket for a T-Rex. And, while I'm at it, maybe some intimates. I'm thinking something lacy with a few silk accents. Did somebody just say crotchless? I like the way you think!
Hamster jackets harness wheel-running power [msnbc]
Thanks to I Won't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking My Juice on the Geekologie, who can run in his wheel for hours.
Mar 10 2009 I Told You I'd Make It Up To You -- And I Keep My Promises: The Tokyoflash Hanko
Remember when I told you I'd make up for my lack of Tokyoflash posts lately? BA-DOW! I am a man of my word. And, as a man of his word (when his fingers aren't crossed), here comes Flash's latest: The Hanko.
Sharp black acrylic lenses reminiscent of a Japanese signature stamp give this watch its name and a newly designed stainless steel case with custom curves provide an additional design edge.
One touch of the upper button animates the sub-surface LEDs in a clockwise direction before the time is presented. Hours are shown in the centre circle of the watch, groups of five minutes are shown in the outer circle in the same position as numbers on a clock and single minutes are shown in the areas between.
Peep the diagram above to better understand how to read the time. The Hanko is available with blue, white or multi-colored LEDs and is one of Tokyoflash's most moderately priced time-receptacles, at about $97. So it might be a good model to get your feet wet -- you know, test the waters. Just be careful of the undertow. It caught hold of me and now I've got Tokyoflash watches coming out the wazoo. But -- I had to swallow them first.
Mar 10 2009 Obama Reverses Stem Cell Research Policy
Obama, in a pow-pow-power move, signed an executive order (I need a pad of those) yesterday that has " cleared the way for a significant increase in federal dollars for embryonic stem cell research". Now I don't even know what that means, but I do want to clone my dog. And also, grow a tail.
"Medical miracles do not happen simply by accident," Obama declared.
Obama signed the executive order on the divisive stem cell issue and a memo addressing what he called scientific integrity before an East Room audience packed with scientists. He laced his remarks with several jabs at the way science was handled by former President George W. Bush."Promoting science isn't just about providing resources, it is also about protecting free and open inquiry," Obama said. "It is about letting scientists like those here today do their jobs, free from manipulation or coercion, and listening to what they tell us, even when it's inconvenient especially when it's inconvenient. It is about ensuring that scientific data is never distorted or concealed to serve a political agenda and that we make scientific decisions based on facts, not ideology."
Well rooty tooty, fresh and fruity! Maybe scientists will finally be able to unlock the secret of my seductive pheromones. Here -- lick my armpit. You taste that? It's called gin, and I sweat it. You ever made love to a man that smells like a pine tree? It's coniferous.
Obama reverses Bush-era stem cell policy [msnbc]
Thanks to Ryan, who is a huge proponent of both twig and branch cell research.
Mar 10 2009
I Like Turtles Shoes: Pet Turtle Gets Tender With Somebody's Shoe
This is a video of somebody's pet turtle having sex with a shoe. It's possibly NSFW if you carry your house on your back or live in a pond. You need to watch it with audio though, because the little guy makes the cutest squeaky noises while he's going at it. Kind of like me, but with no crying in between.
Youtube
Thanks Marc, who loves animals, but not in the way that shoe loves animals.
Mar 10 2009 Remains Of Vampire Woman Found In Grave
What is being hailed by some as the world's first vampire remains have been discovered in a mass grave in Venice, Italy. The woman (who I suspect was a vampire-witch hybrid) was buried with a brick wedged in her mouth, which apparently has some link to being to vampiracy.
During the Middle Ages, many believed that the plague, or "Black Death," was caused by "vampires" chewing on their shrouds after death. According to Borrini, grave-diggers put bricks in the mouths of suspected vampires to stop them from spreading the disease this way.
Borrini, of the University of Florence in Italy, says that the partial corpse he exhumed offers the earliest "exorcism evidence against vampires" to have been forensically examined.
Interesting -- so vampires are buried with stuff in their mouths? Because one time my buddy Jimmy Jimmereeno and I found a naked dead man under a bridge with his own penis stuffed in his mouth. He didn't look like like a vampire though -- he looked Italian.
Hit the jump for another picture of how the skeleton was found.
Continue Reading " Remains Of Vampire Woman Found In Grave "
Mar 10 2009 Awwwwh, How Cute: ATilla The Pet AT-AT
This is a little photo gallery of flickr user NickIsConfused's new pet, ATilla the AT-AT. As you can see, it's adjusting to it's new home quite nicely. Awwwwwh. You know, this really makes me want to bring home a little bundle of joy. Yeah, a brown paper one from the liquor store. It's a boy! Aaaand another boy! ZOMG, Jack and Jim -- twins!
Hit the jump for several more and another link to the flickr gallery.
Mar 9 2009 Yaaaar!: Finally, A Ship Fit For Hungry Pirates
Want to build you own 17,000 calorie pirate ship? No problem, pick up these ingredients and then follow the picture tutorial after the jump.
Ingredients:
~20 sausages
~48 rashers of bacon
1.2kg of sausage meat
1kg of pork mince
10 franks
1kg of pastry (not 100% meat this time)
1 onion
1 mushroom
2 packets of chipolata sausages
various food colorings
sage
My god that looks delicious. I've always known I wanted to be a pirate, I just had no idea how badly I wanted to be a meatpirate. Yaaar, surrender yer sausage! Haha nothing, I'm being serious -- now drop trow ye scalawags!
Hit the jump for the making of the ship.
Continue Reading " Yaaaar!: Finally, A Ship Fit For Hungry Pirates "
Mar 9 2009 Why Do Terminators Time-Travel Naked?
Because the dude responsible for beaming them up is gay. Just like the original Scotty from Star Trek.* For real, yo.
*This statement based entirely on the time he offered to buy me a drink at the bar.
Mar 9 2009 Cloud Umbrella Looked Better As Rendering
The Cloud Umbrella is an umbrella that you blow up when it starts to rain using it's pump-handle. Then it looks like a cloud and all the passers-by get a laugh at the cleverness that is your umbrella. Just kidding. They wonder why you're carrying around bunch of white beach balls on the end of a stick. Also, seven years bad luck if you open it indoors. Speaking of which -- you know why you've had it so hard lately? Yeah, you remember that mirror I broke? Well, I told God you did it.
Cloud Umbrella keeps your head in the sky while you stay dry [dvice]
Mar 9 2009 Kangaroo Broke Into Home, Mistaken For Ninja
A kangroo recently broke into the home of Beat Ettlin while he and his family were sleeping. He mistook the kangaroo for a ninja and began to pummel the 90lb beast.
The 42-year-old told Sky News Online: "I just saw this black thing. I thought it was a lunatic ninja, an intruder. It just fell on top of us on the bed.
Finally, Beat was able to subdue the kangaroo in his son's room, and kick the leggy bastard out the door.
"When I got in there, it was against the wall by the window, trying to get out I think so I just jumped on top of it. I got him in a headlock and pressed him to the ground.
"I had to open the door with one hand, pressing the kangaroo to the wall with the other hand. Finally, the door opened and I could actually release it.
Good looking. Of course, how could you not kick a kangaroo out of your house with a name like Beat? That would be like being named POW and getting your ass kicked by a koala that broke in through the attic.
Oz Dad Fights Off 'Lunatic Ninja' Kangaroo [skynews]
Thanks to Alex, Jazzy 8 Ball, and Victoria, who have all punched ninja-roos in the pouch and lived to tell about it.
Mar 9 2009 The Compact Disc Turned 30 Yesterday
That's right, March 8th marked the "historic demonstration of the first CD prototype codenamed 'Pinkeltje' on March 8th, 1979." Well congratulations, compact disc, I almost forgot you were still here.
While many would argue that the CD is on its way out in favor of smaller, highly portable MP3 files, the disc has definitely left a lasting mark on the industry. To date, over 3.5 billion audio CD players have been sold alongside 240 billion discs.
Damn -- that's a lot of discs! That's almost a quarter of a trillion dollars. And a trillion dollars, my friends, is how much money I have in the bank. It barely fits! Just sayin', bling bling, money ain't a thing. I'm talking skating rink ice. Ladies?
Compact Disc turns 30, MP3 doesn't bother to send a gift [engadget]
Thanks to Julian, who still buys tapes because he's smart enough to understand that technology comes in cycles.
Mar 9 2009 Loewe Sound: A Cute Audio Commercial
This is a cute commercial for European-based electronics manufacturer, Loewe. The ad was designed to highlight their "extremely realistic sound", but to me it highlighted how cool a human remote-controller would be. Sorry, what was that? Haha -- you've been muted, son!
Thanks to Florian, who accidentally hit the power button and killed his roommate.
Mar 9 2009 Typing By Taste: A White Chocolate Keyboard
It's a keyboard. It's white chocolate. Aaaand that's all I've got. I don't think it's full-sized. It might be though. But I doubt it. Also, if you ladies out there like white chocolate, that's what I'm made of. But if you don't like white chocolate, then I'm milk chocolate. Unless you don't like chocolate at all, in which case I'm caramel -- sticky sweet and drizzled all over your sundae. I don't even know what that means but I am so craving a banana split right now. Do you like strawberry topping, baby? Awh yeah. How about that pineapple stuff? See, I hate that shit. I don't think this is gonna work out after all.
Teclado de chocolate blanco [noquedanblogs]
Thanks to Romeo, who is allegedly made out of Magic Shell if any of you ladies are interested.
Mar 9 2009 You're A Real Ninja Now: The Belt Sword
The Belt Sword is a questionable sword hidden within a belt. It was created to make dorks feel safe even though in a real-life situation they'd either forget they were wearing the thing or stab themselves trying to get it out. Also, they look suspiciously like aluminum-foil wrapped cardboard. The belt with 24" and 27" swords costs $150. $210 if you want five swords (24", 27", 29", 31", and 33"). Sorry folks, but I'm not interested. No, unlatching my buckle releases another, much more powerful weapon. Obviously, I'm talking about a flying dragon. *unbuckling* KA-P....uh-oh. Looks like the proverbial chicken has flown the coop. And, oh God -- taken off with the eggs.
Hit the jump to see more of this chick, along with a picture of the system and links to the product page and video demonstrations.
Continue Reading " You're A Real Ninja Now: The Belt Sword "
Mar 8 2009 Souper!: b/c 'The Plane' Doesn't Always Work
If there's one thing I learned about feeding kids it's that you have to take the tape off their mouths or they spill all over themselves. And then the daycare starts questioning your credentials and arrest history. Thankfully, you caught the manager banging the married parent of one of your charges so you're pretty much indispensable despite your penchant for getting high in the custodial closet and drinking the Mop & Glo. Anyway, for those of you who can't get their kids to eat without "HERE COMES THE PLANE, NEEEEEOOOWWW"ing it into their fat little faces, here's comes the SOUPER! from Fred & Friends. It's a spoon that looks like a superhero action figure. It's great for both cereal and beanie weenies and will be available next month for about $12. But, if you can't wait that long, you can always rip a G.I. Joe's head off and wedge a spoon down his neck hole. Because that's what we did during the war, and knowing is half toe battle. I'm talking trench foot, bitches.
Thanks to Chris, who doesn't need a souperhero spoon to eat because he's hooked up to a chocolate milk IV. Nice Chris, I like your style.
Mar 8 2009 Yikes!: Scary Robo-Kid Is No Child Of Mine
The iCub is an iStupidly named robot-child created by the RobotCub Consortium in Italy (not to be confused with Opus Dei). He was designed to have the movement and learning capabilities of a three-year old child and a face only a mother could love. A really loving mother. A blind one with no ears or sense of feeling in her hands.
The iCub is able to crawl and walk, make human-like eye and head movements and recognise and grasp objects like a toddler, scientists say.
'It's hoped the iCub will develop its cognitive capabilities in the same way as a child, progressively learning about its own bodily skills, how to interact with the world and eventually how to communicate with other individuals.'
Oh man, it seems like only yesterday I first learning about my own "bodily skills". Awh yeah -- you know the one I'm talking about: I can pull my thumb back all the way!
Meet iCub - the robot that moves and learns like a child [dailymail]
and
Youtube
Thanks to Remo, Annie, Justin, Kyle and The Random Factor, who would never give birth to this thing.
Mar 8 2009 Wow: Over 64,000 Years Of Halo 3 Played
That's right folks, if you add up all the individual hours people have played Halo 3, it comes out to over 64,000 years.
The billionth game of Halo 3 was played last Saturday. Bungie then calculated the play time of every online match - not counting custom maps - and it reaches 2,023,153,340,764 seconds, which equals out to roughly 64,000 years.
To further drive home the point of how huge of a number that is, they mentioned that 64,000 years ago neanderthal walked the Earth and modern man hadn't yet set foot in Asia.
Some guy in the comments went on to speculate that a low-ball estimate of World of Warcraft gameplay was up around 750,000 years. Either way, I'm crying. And not because we haven't cured cancer either it's just that *sniff* I'm so damn proud of you guys.
Halo 3 reaches one billion matches and 64,000 years of play time [omghalo]
Thanks to Mark, who contributed not one but 10,000 of those years.
