Mar 7 2009 Another Sleepless Night: Scary Robot Gallery

This is a little gallery of scary-ass robots that want to kill you so they can mate with your computer. This particular model is called "My Spoon" and was designed to help people with no arms or really sucky arms to eat. As you can see, it's about to choke out Japanese Health Minister Yoichi Masuzoe. God knows what's it's gonna do to him once he's out, but I suspect use his body as a breeding chamber for an army of nanobots. These nanobots will then invade our fresh water supply and, quite possibly, clog your faucet.

Hit the jump for gallery, and then hit the link at the end for a much larger, HD gallery with explanations of which each of the doomsday machines does.

Continue Reading " Another Sleepless Night: Scary Robot Gallery "

Mar 7 2009 Sleek Computer Case Designed By BMW

This is a prototype computer case designed by BMW and Thermaltake. It's called 'Level 10' and would get the shit stomped out of it by my 'Level 80' Paladin.

What a brilliant idea -- let's stop hiding PC components inside boxes, shine them up in stainless steel and black air-directing shrouds, and leave those innards out in the open for all to see. The concept is similar to those lofts with all the exposed piping and ventilation ductwork. It's positively postmodern.

Uh, am I the only once that noticed it doesn't look anything like a car? WTFBMW? Seriously, call me back when it has anti-lock brakes and a leather interior. Oh, and heated seats.

Level 10: the inside-out PC from an alternate dimension [dvice]

Thanks to DZ and Gingerbird, who once joyrode a BMW straight into a lake.

Mar 7 2009 Japanese Astronaut To Perform Highly Questionable Space Experiments

A Japanese astronaut is set to perform a number of worthless experiments this month while aboard the International Space Station in an attempt to piss off taxpayers and win over schoolchildren.

Koichi Wakata will perform 16 tasks chosen from 1,597 suggested by hundreds of people, from nursery school pupils to a 90-year-old man, said the official at the Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency (JAXA).

Wakata will try "a magic carpet that floats in the air" after he reaches the Japanese laboratory Kibo (Hope) at the International Space Station (ISS) later in March for a stay of more than three months, said a JAXA report.

Wakata will also attempt to fold clothes, do push-ups and backflips, arm-wrestle another astronaut and "shoot liquid out of the straw of a drink container to see what happens", said the space agency.

Wow, that sounds....boring. How about you actually perform a few of the experiments I suggested, JAXA? For example: is getting drunk in space as awesome as I imagine? And, if so, is it easy to clean up puke? Lastly, are morbidly-obese people REALLY weightless in space? Because last summer I rode a centrifuge at the county fair and this one fat lady kept sliding down the wall.

Japan astronaut to try flying carpet in space lab: official [physorg]

Thanks to Fred, who wants to know if free-dried ice cream is complimentary for astronauts or if you have to pay for it like at Space Camp.

Mar 7 2009 Mmmm, Rorschach-y: Watchmen Desserts

Loyal Geekologist Martin has a friend (Jack) who made a cake honoring The Comedian in anticipation of Watchmen, which dropped in theaters yesterday. Also, they made some delicious Rorschach brownies, which I featured after the jump and have been staring at for the past twenty minutes. Tell me, what do you see? If you answered "NOM NOMs" or "a vampire fondling a mermaid in a whirlpool", you are correct. Anything else and you're a crazy person or in love with your mother.

Hit it for the rest of the deliciousness.

Continue Reading " Mmmm, Rorschach-y: Watchmen Desserts "

Mar 6 2009 Eye Candy: The Best Of Google Street View

This is a gallery of some of the best of Google Street Views. Most of the pictures are unexplainable, so feel free to make up your own story as to what's happening. Here, I'll get you started.

"THAT'S MY BIKE PUNK!"

Hit the jump for 14 more of the craziness.

Continue Reading " Eye Candy: The Best Of Google Street View "

Mar 6 2009 Real Product Review Coming!: Clarion MiND

That's right folks, a real, honest-to-God product review from yours truly. It should be up in the next couple of days and will cover the Clarion MiND (Mobile Internet Navigation Device). Per the manufacturer:

Combining personal GPS navigation and real-time Points of Interest (POI) with Internet based entertainment and full web browsing, the easily portable and pocketable Clarion MiND Mobile Internet Navigation Device provides rich GPS navigation with full PC-like Internet browsing capabilities thanks to its 4.8-inch, 800 x 480-pixel touchscreen. You can connect to the Internet via Wi-Fi at home, in the office or via hotspots out and about in the city. The ClarionMiND also allows for Internet connectivity via Bluetooth when paired with a mobile phone.

Expect pictures of my hands, and, if you're lucky, maybe even some of my car's dash! Now, is there anything in particular you want to know before I punch in the address of the nearest liquor store and massage parlor? Ask away, then stay tuned for the lowdown. Oh, and if anyone asks, I'm totally not driving without a license.

Hit the jump for some wack-ass commercial for the thing.

Continue Reading " Real Product Review Coming!: Clarion MiND "

Mar 6 2009 Giant Remote Controls Windows Media Center

Why? Because pushing little buttons with your thumbs is for little sissies. You need MAN-LEGS to stomp MAN-SIZED BUTTONS to prove you are a REAL MAN. *SHA-POW* Look, I just punched a hole to the center of the galaxy with my MAN-FIST. That doesn't even make sense but it doesn't have to because I am so full of MAN-RAGE. NOW I'M HUMPING A SODA MACHINE! WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO MORE DR. PEPPER? RAWR!

Our intrepid modder achieved his goal by stitching together two PS2 Dance Dance Revolution mats, a PS2-to-PC controller converter box, and some homebrew source code.

What were we just talking about? Oh right, a giant controller. That thing is mad stupid. I would stomp right through that sucker and into the apartment below mine because my legs are like tree trunks -- wooden. 'Tis true, lost 'em both to the Kraken. YAAARR!

Hit the jump to see a video of the controller in action.

Continue Reading " Giant Remote Controls Windows Media Center "

Mar 6 2009 Beatles 'Rock Band' Coming This Fall

Want to play Beatles songs on Rock Band? Well get excited about September then, because "The Beatles: Rock Band" is coming.

Apple Corps, the band's music label, has strayed from its historical aversion to digital distribution of music by working with Harmonix and MTV Games to release the new title, which creators call "an unprecedented, experimental progression through and celebration of the music and artistry of The Beatles."

Apple Corps and Viacom Inc.'s MTV Networks announced the new game on Thursday, saying it would be priced at $59.99. For an additional $99.99, fans can purchase instruments similar to those used by the Beatles.

WHOOOOOWEEEE! I can finally go to bed at night knowing Beatles music is coming Rock Band. And also, that ghosts are real. WHOA -- DID YOU HEAR THAT? Sounded like chains being dragged across the floor. *grabbing flashlight* I'm going to investigate....

Haha, forgot to unchain the kids from the dishwasher after dinner. I swear, those rascals.

Beatles 'Rock Band' Coming In September [redorbit]

Thanks to MIKE, who used to get high with the Beatles before his company started randomly piss testing.

Mar 6 2009 Wicked Stop-Motion Video Of LEGO Minifigs Building The Millennium Falcon

We've already featured two different videos of people constructing the 5,195 piece LEGO Millennium Falcon, but this one is better. Why? Because LEGO minifigs are the ones doing the building! An ungodly number of hours went into the making of this video, so I'm really glad somebody else made it before I had to. Because I don't have time for that. Or getting up to go to the bathroom. Now somebody come empty my bag, but whatever you do: DON'T SQUEEZE IT LIKE YOU DID LAST TIME. You ruptured my bladder and now I've got urine floating around inside me.

The Building of the Lego Millennium Falcon: The Definitive Movie [gizmodo]

Mar 6 2009 It's On eeeeeeBay: Pac-Man Neon Light Set

Looking for a set of Pac-Man neon lights for your rumpus room? No? How about the game room? Well you're in luck, because eBay seller JNN2728 is selling them joints! There' a five-piece set available with all the characters you see here, or you can buy them individually. Current bidding for the set is at $151. Bidding on the individual characters is around $10-$30. No idea what they'll actually go for. But a word of warning if you do decide to bid: be careful where you put the Man of Pac, I've heard he likes to munch the carpet -- Ms. Pac-Man too. HIYO, lesbian! Love you women.

Hit the jump for a closeup and a link to the auctions.

Continue Reading " It's On eeeeeeBay: Pac-Man Neon Light Set "

Mar 6 2009 Delicious!: Bubble Buddy Blows Bacon Flavored Bubbles For Your Dog Or Child!

Sure bubble guns have existed forever, but not BACON flavored bubbles! That's right, now you can blow bacon, chicken, or peanut butter flavored bubbles for your favorite pooch or small child.

Dogs love these yummy scented bubbles. You can use these dog bubbles with the included bubble wands or with any bubble machine, bubble blower, bubble gun or bubble shooter for dogs. One thing's for sure: your dog is gonna love popping all those flavored bubbles! 100% non-toxic bubbles are and safe for dogs and kids.

The gun costs $9.25 and 2-packs of bubbles are $4.25. Cheap! Fun! Delicious! I couldn't find any nutritional info, but I'm sure it's safe to say that drinking a whole bottle constitutes a well balanced meal. *GLUG GLUG GLUG* Mmmm, bacon-y. *BURP* Oooh -- just as delicious coming back up! WHEE, BUBBLES!

Product Site

Thanks to Alex, who marinated a Bacon Explosion in bacon bubbles and swears it was delicious.

Mar 6 2009 FAKE!: Magnetic Photoshop Picture Boards

From meninos, the same company that's bringing us tampon flash drives, comes some Photoshop/Illustrator picture boards. They're basically magnetic whiteboards that come with magnet sets that look like the various Photoshop/Illustrator toolboxes. The toolbox magnets for either program will set you back $25, $65 with a 20" magnetic board, and $80 with a 30" board. So buy one for your cubicle, and then start hanging all your memos/emails. That way when your boss comes by to ask why you haven't done jackshit for the day, you can tell him the most recent memo was clearly a fake, and has been Photoshopped -- you could tell because the shadows were all wrong. You will then be applauded for your detective skills and promoted. Or fired. Hopefully fired.

Hit the jump to see closeups of the two magnet sets.

Continue Reading " FAKE!: Magnetic Photoshop Picture Boards "

Mar 5 2009 Docking: What The Hell Did I Just Watch?

I really have no idea what I just watched but it reminded me of Monty Python's Flying Circus. Also, I think it carried a powerful message. One about doing it. In space.

Docking [vimeo]

Thanks to C, who has actually done it in space and always tells me the story and it makes me so jealous.

Mar 5 2009 It'll Get You Drunk!: The McNuggitini *HORF*

The McNuggitini is a cocktail inspired by the deliciousness that is a McDonald's (all clay) milkshake and Chicken McNuggets (which do constitute an emergency).

Ingredients:

2 McNuggz (plus more for snacking)
1 tub McDonalds Brand Barbeque Sauce (plus more for licking off pinky finger)
1 lg. Mcdonalds Brand Chocolate Milkshake (plus more for bringing all the boys to the yard)
1 bottle Vanilla Vodka (recommended brand: Absolut)

Open the McDonalds bag. Eat one McNugg each, followed by two bites of the Filet-o-Fish (make sure you don't tell anyone that you eat Filet-o-Fishes).

Rim each martini glass with McDonalds Brand Barbeque Sauce, and pour milkshake/vodka mixture into the glass. Garnish with a McNugg (which is to be swiped along barbeque sauce rimmed glass after the milkshake has been finished, and consumed with pure, unadulterated glee).

My goodness that sounds....puke in my mouth-y. I do like vodka though. But I only take it ultra-neat. I'm talking straight to the vein, folks -- mainlining! ALL ABOARD THE PASS-OUT EXPRESS, NEXT STOP: BATHROOM FLOOR. CHOO CHOO!

Hit the link if you want to see a pictorial of the McNuggitini experience featuring Alie and Georgia.

In Which Georgia Gives You The McNuggetini [thisrecording]

Thanks to Tank and Bronson, who, not to be outdone, invented the Fillet O' Fishtini.

Mar 5 2009 Death A La Mode: A Robotic Ice Cream Server

I just don't get it -- why take the chance? What's wrong with paying some pimply adolescent $6/hour to serve ice cream? You have to look at his ugly face, that's what. Still, I want the record to show that I am anti-robotic ice cream server.

These Kuka industrial robots were programmed by 26 students over 5 weeks to serve ice cream (with toppings!) to attendees at Ohio Northern University's homecoming festivities.

Well, like the saying goes, "I scream, you scream, we all scream for HOLY SHIT THAT ROBOT HAS SPRINKLES -- HIT THE DECK!!!"

Hit the jump for a relatively boring 5-minute video about the servers of death.

Continue Reading " Death A La Mode: A Robotic Ice Cream Server "

Mar 5 2009 Blind Man Sees The Light With Bionic Eye

Ron is a 73-year old who went blind 30 years ago due to mysterious circumstances (the article didn't say). He hasn't been able to see anything since. I'm talking nothing. Pure blackness. But now, thanks to bionic eye surgery, he can finally see the light (again). Did somebody say laser vision? PEW PEW!

It uses a camera and video processor mounted on sunglasses to send captured images wirelessly to a tiny receiver on the outside of the eye. In turn, the receiver passes on the data via a tiny cable to an array of electrodes which sit on the retina - the layer of specialised cells that normally respond to light found at the back of the eye.

When these electrodes are stimulated they send messages along the optic nerve to the brain, which is able to perceive patterns of light and dark spots corresponding to which electrodes have been stimulated.

He says he can now follow white lines on the road, and even sort socks, using the bionic eye, known as Argus II.

Whoa whoa whoa -- let's slow down a minute. I'm all for bionic eyes, but don't you think it's a little early to be out on the road? Just saying. Quick Ron, how many fingers am I holding up? *POW* -- a fistful! Ron, can you see me? Ron? Uh-oh. Bionic eyes aren't expensive, are they? Looks like he might need a nose too.

Bionic eye gives blind man sight [bbcnews]

Thanks to Mal, who can see you through the internet. Mal, now describe to me what the ladies are wearing.

Mar 5 2009 Little Moon Spotted Hiding In Saturn's Rings

Saturn, the second largest moon-whore in the solar system (behind Jupiter), has been caught hiding another trick in one of it's outer rings. What a slut!

The discovery of what appeared to astronomers as a faint, moving pinprick of light, was announced by the International Astronomical Union.

The international Cassini spacecraft spotted the small moon, which measures about a third of a mile wide.

Pfft -- 1/3 mile wide? That ain't no moon. That ain't even a moonlet. That, my friends, is a moonatoid. Come get some, Pluto!

'Moonlet' Found in Outer Saturn Ring [discovery]

Thanks to tarastars, who once stole a moon from Neptune and sold it at a yard sale to buy a video game.

Mar 5 2009 Wait, Where'd He Go?: Urban Camoflauge

There's a robot war to be fought, and regular camo simply won't do. Enter Urban Camouflage, a new kind of outwear that keeps you safe and hidden from a robot's lifeless stare. Urban camouflage comes in three different styles: boxes, bags, and, um, file folders or something. Hit the jump to see them all. Then make your own and practice hiding. LOOK OUT -- ROBOT BEHIND YOU! Haha -- not really, but I wanted you to realize the importance of the situation. Now go change your pants and make some camo.

Hit it for the rest and a link to a much larger gallery.

Continue Reading " Wait, Where'd He Go?: Urban Camoflauge "

Mar 5 2009 New Mechanical Puzzles Available Soon

A new breed of mechanical puzzle is available for all of you who are tired of your Rubik's Cube, Ball or DodecaWTF. They're called MindStrat Puzzles, and they would drive me freaking crazy. Possibly to the point of punching a whole through the wall and catching the neighbor fapping away in his apartment.

A new type of mechanical puzzles has been invented (and patented) by Greek-Australian Pantazis Constantine Houlis. Unlike traditional twisty puzzles (like Rubik's cube), these are based on gravity. Pyramids are placed inside a sphere, and the sphere keeps the 3D-shape defined by the pyramids, intact. The goal is to shift around the pyramids until all the corners or the sides of the 3D-shape have the same color.

Some of the toys are available now, for $20-$25, and other models will be dropping in the next couple months. So get on it. And then get on this. I'm talking about me. Oh yeah, we're grinding. We're grinding out on the dance floor aren't we? Yeah, good stuff! Oh -- and you're leaving. Come back -- this boner is awkward. *DOOT DOO DOO*

Hit the jump for three more videos of other models, and another link to the product website, in case you missed it in the text.

Continue Reading " New Mechanical Puzzles Available Soon "

Mar 5 2009 Wow, I'm Shocked: Robot Programmed To Love Goes Too Far, Commences Stalking

Kenji, a third-generation humanoid, was programmed by Toshiba's Akimu Robotic Research Institute to emulate human emotions, including love. But shockingly, Kenji has gone haywire and will probably end up killing off all his love interests.

The trouble all started when a young female intern began to spend several hours each day with Kenji, testing his systems and loading new software routines. When it came time to leave one evening, however, Kenji refused to let her out of his lab enclosure and used his bulky mechanical body to block her exit and hug her repeatedly. The intern was only able to escape after she had frantically phoned two senior staff members to come and temporarily de-activate Kenji.

Dr. Takahashi admits that they will more than likely have to decommission Kenji permanently, but he's optimistic about one day succeeding where Kenji failed. "This is only a minor setback. I have full faith that we will one day live side by side with, and eventually love and be loved by, robots," he said.

Oh hell no you crackpot. Ain't no love for robots here. It's kill or be killed. YOUR EXPERIMENT FAILED MISERABLY -- GIVE UP. Seriously, we need this guy behind bars STAT. The day I'm forced to love a robot is the day I stab that mechanical beast through the eye-camera with a rusty screwdriver and sparks fly everywhere as I mash it around in his brain real good until the BEEPITY BOOP BEEPING stops and I push my would-be mechanical lover off me and take a nap.

Robot Programmed to Love Goes too Far [muckflash]

Thanks to Jon, who once kicked a robot in the metallic junk for stepping on his shoe.

Mar 4 2009 Star Trek Inspired Colognes Coming Soon To A Galaxy Near You (Hint: The Milky Way)

What could possibly be better than smelling like the original Star Trek television series? Nothing! Well, besides smelling like me. *WHIFF* Mmmm, chili-cheese dogs. Really drives the bitches wild. I'm serious, Chloe and Ginger are literally fighting over my shirt. CUT IT OUT YOU TWO -- no walk later unless you're good! Created by Genki Wear, there will be three different scents to choose from:

Tiberius
The Tiberius cologne, named in honor of the Mirror Universe James T. Kirk's challenges users to "Boldly Go" with a perfume described as being spiked with "notes of freshness and sensuality.

Red Shirt
Genki's "Red Shirt" cologne (whose tag line "Because Tomorrow May Never Come" is priceless) celebrates the sacrifices of those often nameless crew of the USS Enterprise. Described appropriately as a cologne for those with a "devotion to living each day as it could be your last" the cologne has top notes of green mandarin, bergamot, and lavender, with base notes of leather and grey musk.

Pon Farr
The most risqué titled of the new Star Trek fragrances is "Ponn Farr" which is a perfume designed to "drive him wild." It should only be used once every seven years (okay, that isn't true). Named for the Vulcan mating ritual first introduced in the episode "Amok Time," this perfume is one of the newly designed products meant to appeal to female fans.

Eh, I'm not crazy about any of them. No, I think I'll be saving my fragrance dollar for Eau de KHAAAAAAAN!

Hit the jump for a picture of Tiberius.

Continue Reading " Star Trek Inspired Colognes Coming Soon To A Galaxy Near You (Hint: The Milky Way) "

Mar 4 2009 Woman Calls 911 Over McNugget Emergency

NOTE: Video consists of the calls to 911.

Not once. Not twice. But three times did Latreasa Goodman call 911 about the lack of McNuggets at her local McDonald's and the manager's unwillingness to give her a refund.

When cops responded to the restaurant, Goodman told them, "This is an emergency. If I would have known they didn't have McNuggets, I wouldn't have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I don't want one." Goodman noted, "I called 911 because I couldn't get a refund, and I wanted my McNuggets," according to the below Fort Pierce Police Department report. That logic, however, did not keep cops from citing Goodman for misusing the 911 system. Even after being issued a misdemeanor citation, Goodman contended, "this is an emergency, my McNuggets are an emergency."

I'm with you, Latreasa -- McNuggets ARE an emergency. I've nearly killed cashiers for less. Like that time they told me the McFlurry machine was broken -- I was over the counter and had dude's hand in a deep fryer before you could say Value Meal.

A McNuggets "Emergency" [thesmokinggun]

Thanks to Jason and Tank, who have both called 911 because they didn't get the toys they wanted their Happy Meals.

Mar 4 2009 Cat Truck Designed To Pick Up Girls

This is a 1998 Dodge Truck that some guy heavily modded to look like a giant pink cat. A veritable kitty-magnet, if you will. It's currently for sale in Central Ottawa, Canada for $10K.

I have a dodge truck cut in half to make this cat mobile. It has a turbo charger, air intake, neons, aftermarket exhaust, headers and a cat body kit. Made to pick up GIRLS, THEY LOVE IT.

Of course they do. Wait -- didn't I see you circling the middle school?

1998 Dodge [usedottawa]

Thanks to Chris, who picks up chicks the way God intended: with a giant claw.

Mar 4 2009 Fully Automated, Computer Controlled Shower Will Kill You While You Bathe, I'm Sure Of It

The Aquapeutics (now to be known as AquaPEWtics) luxury steam shower has everything a person could want, plus a whole bunch of other crap, and a $4,300 pricetag.

This spaceship-worthy shower is loaded up with two handheld showers, a waterproof LCD TV, a radio, massage jets, a steam box, overhead lights, an alarm, and other crazy crap. The whirlpool and steamshower are computerized, letting you set your program to run when you get in, and it's all very fancy.

I WANT IT! I heard it even washes your balls and polishes them to a shine. Which, I think we can all agree, while painful, would be well worth the shellacking. QUICK -- LOOKIE HERE! Haha, blinded you.

Aquapeutics shower is just a little bit over the top [dvice]

Mar 4 2009 Now You're Cooking!: Wii Breakfast

This is video of a fake video game called Wii Breakfast. It's similar to Cooking Mama, except fake and with way more peripherals. And speaking of breakfast....

OKAY, WHICH ONE OF YOU BOOZEHOUNDS DRANK THE LAST OF MY GIN?

Youtube

Thanks to Jillian, who is more than welcome to come over and cook breakfast whenever she likes. Just a heads up though, Jillian -- I like my eggs like I like my panyhose: runny.

Mar 4 2009 Bling Bling: Tokyoflash's Kasai Sensai

I know, it's been a little while since the last Tokyoflash, and I'm sorry. I never meant for it to go so long. I hope I can make it up to you. Here, here's some flowers I picked from the neighbor's yard. Kiss and make up? Maybe just a little peck? Okay, well how about a hug? I promise not to cop a feel this time. Oh -- oh -- haha, I had my fingers crossed!

With a surface made up of positive shapes and negative lines, Sensai has been intricately designed on different levels to create a look that takes the Kisai series to the next dimension.

A single touch of the upper button initiates a rotating animation before the remaining LEDs show the time. Twelve red LEDs represent hours, eleven green LEDs represent groups of five minutes and four yellow LEDs represent single minutes.

Available now for 240 bones, you can choose either a black or silver case, and black or silver strap. Feel free to mix and match! After all, variety is the spice of life. And I, ladies and gentlemen, am the herb of love. Cook with me?

Hit the jump for a couple closeups and a link to the product page.

Continue Reading " Bling Bling: Tokyoflash's Kasai Sensai "

Mar 4 2009 Game Over Man, Game Over!: An Aliens PS3

Tattoo artist and casemoder 'givintats' went and made himself an Aliens inspired PS3 case. It was created "using hand-sculpted layers of epoxy putty, that looks like a hard metal when dried, often used to mend dented car fenders." Nice. And is there anything more awesome than an Aliens PS3? Yes, an Aliens PS3 that can play XBox games. Did your head just explode by my suggestion of awesomeness? It's true, I have the power of suggestive thought. Don't believe me? You should take your shirt off right now. Wait -- damnit, hold on. You should put your shirt back on. Now, ladies only -- you should take your shirt off right now. Awh yeah! Hypnotics, baby -- I have them. Now touch your nipple.

Hit the jump for two more shots.

Continue Reading " Game Over Man, Game Over!: An Aliens PS3 "

Mar 4 2009 Tired Of Rubik's Cube? Try A Pentaminx

The Pentaminx is basically a Rubik's Cube on steroids. But not the oral ones -- I'm talking the kind you have to shoot into your buttcheeks.

While the original design was created by Andrew Cormier, the completed Petaminx puzzle you see above was cast and hand-assembled by Jason, who clearly has the patience of a saint. So what goes into a masterpiece like this? All-in-all there are 975 individual parts not including the 1,212 stickers that each had to be placed by hand, one at a time. Overall the Petaminx took about 75 hours to complete including the molding process, cleaning the parts, assembly and finish.

Whatever you do, don't tell this poor bastard -- he's pissed away enough of his life already. But me, pfft, I could solve that joint in like a minute. Check it -- *twist twist twist* *twist twist twist* *twist twist -- POW!* Haha -- you just got dodec'ed the hell out, son!

Hit the jump for a video of the first mix-up.

Continue Reading " Tired Of Rubik's Cube? Try A Pentaminx "

Mar 3 2009 BEEP BOOP BOP: What R2-D2 Really Meant

NOTE: VIDEO'S SUBTITLES ARE NSFW.

This is a video of what R2-D2 really meant when he was beepity-booping and whirlity whirling. Obviously, the subtitles are NSFW because he's a pretty angry little droid. And can you blame him? The guy gets no respect. Like me after I rescued that kid from a tree. So what if it was partially my fault he was up there in the first place. He wanted to sit on the rocket-bike.

Hit the jump for another, longer video.

Continue Reading " BEEP BOOP BOP: What R2-D2 Really Meant "

Mar 3 2009 Batman Hoodie: All You Need To Fight Crime

Now that's what I call a freaking hoodie. You don this sucker and evildoers will KNOW you mean business. Or pleasure. You can even zip it up over your face and see out through the mesh holes. Sweet! They'll run you $74-$78 dollars depending on size and are available HERE. Now go get one. Then you can roam your local mall looking for criminals. Quick, over by Hot Topic -- mugging in progress! Oh, false alarm -- rebellious teen arguing with his mom over a novelty t-shirt.

New Batman Hoodie Probably Won't Protect You Against Bullies [gizmodo]

Mar 3 2009 Master Chief/Warthog Transformer On eBay

We've already seen a Master Chief Transformer here on Geekologie, but quite frankly -- can I call you Frank? No? Well surely -- ooooh, I like that, can I call you Shirley? And, I dunno, maybe you could do your hair up in pigtails and wear one of those 50's poodle skirts? YOW YOW! Well, you think about it.

Up for auction is a custom built Transformer of Master Chief from the Halo series of games. A quick transformation turns him from the iconic Spartan soldier into a battle ready Warthog LRV . Stands 5 1/4" tall when transformed and comes with a variety of weapons including a Sniper Rifle, Spike Grenade, and Warthog turret. Built from a McFarlane Master Chief figure, an Actionclix Wartog and an Autobot Hound transformer, many hours of work have been put into this to make it a faithfull representation of both the vehicle and the character. I've had fun building this, and hope you enjoy it as well.

Hey, not bad. One time I tried to make my own Transformer out of different toys but I got frustrated and just ended up gluing one of my sister's Barbie heads on a G.I. Joe.

"Hawk, your new hair is so soft, I want to comb it."
"Hawk don't play that sissy shit, boy."
"Oh Hawk, you remember your buddy Snake Eyes -- remember what happened with the hair spray and the matches?"
"Make me pretty, boy!"

Hit the jump for some more pictures and a link to the auction.

Continue Reading " Master Chief/Warthog Transformer On eBay "

Mar 3 2009 Now Turn Away Son While I Blow Up Your Toy

This is a Wolverine punching bag. I bought one for my son. Blowing it up was my first homosexual experience. But it won't be my last.

R Rated Gadgets: Wolverine Blow Up Toy [walyou]

Mar 3 2009 Cool!: Albino Dolphin Spotted In The Wild

A pink bottlenose dolphin was spotted swimming in Lake Calcasieu in Louisiana. It is believed to be the only of its kind.

'The mammal is entirely pink from tip to tail and has reddish eyes indicating it's albinism. The skin appears smooth, glossy pink and without flaws. I have spotted it about 40 to 50 times in the time since the original sighting as it has apparently taken up residence with its family in the Calcasieu Ship Channel.

'As time has passed he has grown and sometimes ventures away from its mother to feed and play but always remains in the vicinity of the pod.

'Surprisingly, it does not appear to be drastically affected by the environment or sunlight as might be expected considering its condition, although it tends to remain below the surface a little more than the others in the pod.'

ZOMG, how cute! And by cute I mean pink. I LOVE PINK DOLPHINS! Look, I just drew one and slid it into the cover of my Trapper Keeper. What can I say, I'm sensitive. And also, hungry. Did somebody say sushi? My stomach did! And also, "the number you are trying to reach has been disconnected". Shit, I ate my phone!

Hit the jump for two more of the magical beast.

Continue Reading " Cool!: Albino Dolphin Spotted In The Wild "

Mar 3 2009 I'm Having A Heavy Day: USB Tampon Drives

These flash drives are real products from meninos that look like tampons and come in several sizes so you get just the right fit for your particular data flow. Having a light day? Go with 1GB. Flowing like you've been shot? That's a 16GB day. Available soon, the drives will sell for an undisclosed amount of money. Of course, you could just make your own. But that would involve stealing tampons from your girlfriend. And that's a problem, seeing how you don't have one. BURN! Wait, me neither. Ladies? I have no problem running to the grocery store to buy feminine products. Just sayin'.

meninos shop
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This is like a "What I did over the summer" essay except it's about giant labias [thebloggess]

Thanks to carolinemichelle, who suggests they make a 32GB variety.

Mar 3 2009 Failure At Life Stuffs Six-Month Old Kitten In World's Worst Homemade Bong To 'Calm It'

20-year old Acea Shomaker is a failure at life who shouldn't even be allowed to have a cat. I mean Jesus, just look at that bong. Pathetic.

Deputies discovered the cat trapped in the device after responding to a domestic disturbance call at a home that Schomaker shares with his grandfather, Sgt. Andy Stebbing said.

Deputies resolved the dispute and left the house, but they returned minutes later after discovering there was an arrest warrant on Schomaker that alleged possession of drug paraphernalia.

Upon re-entering the house, deputies saw Schomaker smoking marijuana through a piece of garden hose duct-taped to a Plexiglass box, in which the cat had been stuffed, Stebbing said.

Shomaker told police the cat was too hyper and he was just trying to calm it down. The kitten is now in good condition in the care of Capital Humane Society. Wow. Now I'm all about some vigilante justice, so I suggest we dose Shomaker with a taste of his own medicine. Namely, we stuff him in a Rubbermaid full of acid. And not the happy face-melting kind either. I'm talking the real face-melting stuff -- that hydrochloric joint. IT BUUUUUURNS!

Hit the jump to see the kitty and the face of a failure.

Continue Reading " Failure At Life Stuffs Six-Month Old Kitten In World's Worst Homemade Bong To 'Calm It' "

Mar 3 2009 Lookin' Good: Disposable Tape Sunglasses

Let's face it: we all sit on our expensive sunglasses. Perhaps not everyone for sexual gratification, but whatever, they still break. Enter disposable tape sunglasses by designers Azumi & David. They come on a roll like packing tape and are perforated for easy detachment. You just rip off a pair, slap them on your face, and PRESTO, everybody feels bad for you because it looks like you have a problem. I'm gonna get a roll and cut them in half to make eye-patches. How wicked would that be? If you answered 'Wicky to the power of Gnar-Gnar', you're close.

Hit the jump for a couple more shots of the shades.

Continue Reading " Lookin' Good: Disposable Tape Sunglasses "

Mar 2 2009 Woman Finds Old Nokia In Bag Of Chips

Somebody's mother in Wisconsin found an old Nokia 6810 in a bag of freshly opened Clancy's Ripples. Wow, people actually still rock those old brick phones? Yes, people who work in potato chip factories do.

The phone, which didn't work, was slathered with "greasy potato-chip film" and looked like it once lived on a belt clip. "You kind of don't want chips for a while" after something like that, she said. Schweiger isn't sure what she'll do next but hopes the FDA can track down the owner of the phone.

She's glad she found the phone and not a child who might have put it in his or her mouth, she said. She's also glad the phone wasn't in a product she would have heated, she said. Schweiger doesn't know when she'll have an appetite for potato chips again, but when she does, she'll do things a little differently.

"I will never, ever eat chips out of a bag again," she said. "They will be dumped in the bowl."

Wow, could you be any less grateful? You opened a bag of chips, found a prize, and then complained about it. Congratulations, you just won the lottery! "I dunno, I'm starting to wish I'd picked different numbers...." Seriously though, are you gonna eat those?

This Bag Of Clancy's Ripple Potato Chips Needs More Nokia Phones [consumerist]

Thanks to ray and twellve, who each found a pager in a bag of steamed vegetables and were happy about it.

Mar 2 2009 Do You See What Happens, Larry?

This is older so you may have already seen it. It's the scene from The Big Lebowski when Walter is beating the hell out of "Larry's" car with a crowbar. Except it was edited for television, making it perfectly SFW. Do you see what happens, Larry?? This is what happens, Larry!

Youtube

Thanks to Mike, who doesn't want to see what happens.

Mar 2 2009 A Different Kind Of Circular Ice: Pi Ice

Remember those $8 ice balls? Yeah, i bought a bag too. What can I say, I was drunk and my credit card was on the desk. Anyway, pi ice. They're ice cubes in the shape of the pi symbol. The reusable tray is available from ThinkGeek for 9 bones. I bought one, and I even went so far as to make my own drink using the ice. It's called 'Pi in the Skyy'. Recipe: add one bottle Skyy vodka to a pitcher. Add icecube tray full of Pi ice. Stir vigorously, drink. Feeling it? Good. Feeling boobs? Even better. Feeling yourself? You made it wrong.

Hit the jump for a real Pi-Tini recipe from ThinkGeek.

Continue Reading " A Different Kind Of Circular Ice: Pi Ice "

Mar 2 2009 I'd Rather Just Die: Alleged 'Rescue' Robot

This rescue robot, the red-headed stepsister of this beast, was designed to rescue humans from areas firemen can't easily access.

Apparently, the seemingly unnamed robot can not only carry a 110 kilogram person over difficult terrain with ease, but monitor the occupant's vital signs as well, although complete details on that, and any other technical details are a bit hard to come by at the moment. As with most such robots, however, this one's apparently not completely autonomous, with it packing some infrared cameras to allow its operator to locate folks even in conditions with poor visability.

Maybe it's just me, but I'd rather die by fire or crushing than crawl into this thing's belly. Because God knows what it's gonna do to you once you're in there. Tell me -- you think it's just a coincidence it's human-carrying drawer looks like one at the morgue? No, it's not. Seriously though, props to the guy that posed for the picture. You see where guy's got his hands there? He's shielding the photographer from his balls. Uranium alloy.

Yokohama fire department enlists robotic crawler to aid evacuations [engadget]

Thanks to ksam84 and Mark, who threw a mannequin packed full of C4 into the remains of a demolished building in the hope of luring one of these beasts to its death.

Mar 2 2009 Paypal Makes Mistake, Accuses Man Of Pumping $81,400,836,908 Worth Of Gas

Juan Zamora is a man. A man with a '94 Camaro which undoubtedly has some Rad to the power of Sick flames painted on the sides. Anyway, he bought $26 worth of petrol at the station and paid with his Paypal debit card. Only problem was, Paypal reported he pumped $81,400,836,908 worth of petrol! Now that's a lot of hot air gas!

He only learned of the astounding figure when he received an email later that afternoon informing him that his debit card, which started out with $90 on it, was maxed out.

"Somebody from a foreign country who spoke in broken English argued with me for 10 to 15 minutes," Zamora said. " 'Did you get the gas?' he asked. Like I had to prove that I didn't pump $81,400,836,908 in gas!"

He would have needed more than 3 billion fill-ups of the amount he actually pumped into his tank in order to reach that outrageous sum. When Zamora returned to the Conoco gas station, he said, the attendant would not believe him until he showed her the printout of the PayPal receipt.

Finally Juan was able to set the record straight. And if you even think about trying to pull any of that nonsense on me, Paypal, and you are going to get it. And by 'it' I mean some provocative photos of yours truly and a firebomb. ZOMG, look at the hair on -- *HORF* uh-oh.... *WHOOOSH!* Justice: a dish best served flaming.

PayPal Charges $81,400,836,908 For $26 Tank Of Gas [consumerist]

Thanks to twellve, who once saw a guy drive off with the gas pump still in his car's filler hole. She tried notifying him while he was leaving, but he just thought she was waving at him. His car exploded moments later.

Mar 2 2009 Oooh, Yellow-y: Pittsburgh Steelers Case Mod

Somebody went and made a Pittsburgh Steelers computer case modeled after the team's helmet. This is it. It glows yellow to make your room look like you've got a secret gold stash in there or the briefcase from Pulp Fiction. Sadly, I'm not allowed to watch sports anymore because my doctor says they make me lash out at the television. Which is true, I do. ISN'T THAT RIGHT, YOU STUPID GIT!? I SWEAR, IF I COULD FIND YOUR REMOTE I WOULD BEAT YOU WITH IT! HEY, TURN OFF THAT CLOSED CAPTIONING OR....THAT'S IT *bodyslam!* Haha, how'd that feel, you jerk? Great, you're leaking plasma on my new carpet.

Hit the jump to see the keyboard, which is awesome (take a look at the keys).

Continue Reading " Oooh, Yellow-y: Pittsburgh Steelers Case Mod "

Mar 2 2009 Bought It!: Dogs Licking your iPhone Clean

iClean is a 99¢ iPhone/iPod Touch application that makes it look like a dog is lick-cleaning your screen from the inside out. How precious! Currently there are only three lickers available, but more are promised in future updates. I just bought it! Best 99¢ I've ever spent. Well, except for the time I put $1 in a vending machine and got two bags of Doritos. There was a Cool Ranch hanger!

iClean Brings Puppy Lick Fest To Your iPhone [iphonesavior]

Thanks to Seth, who promises to make a human version soon. I can hardly wait! No thanks.

Mar 2 2009 Questionable Disney Star Wars Characters

Star Wars Weekends have been a huge hit at the Disney theme parks, and to celebrate the desecration of my childhood comes a limited edition of ridiculous looking Disney characters dressed as Star Wars ones. There's Don Solo in carbonite, a lanky Goofbacca, Mick Skywalker, and highly inappropriate Slave Girl Minnie.

A limited series of 600 statues of each of the figures will retail for $195 each. 500 sets will be available at Disney's Hollywood Studios, while the other 100 will be available at Disneyland. The figures will not be available until around the second week in June, so it looks like they'll appear just in time for the final weekend of Star Wars Weekends.

Wow, I know I'm just itching to get my hands on a Slave Girl Minnie. WTF? Disney, what the hell are you trying to teach our kids? Mommy, I want to be a slave -- just like Minnie! BOOM -- ten years later she's dancing the Sarlacc feeding shift on some slimeball's sail barge.

Hit the jump for a picture of the other two.

Continue Reading " Questionable Disney Star Wars Characters "

Mar 1 2009 PEW PEW?: Man Holds Woman Hostage For Ten Hours With Original SEGA Light-Phaser

That's right folks, a Brazilian man held a 60-year old woman hostage for ten whopping hours with a Sega Master System Light Phaser. Captain PEW was looking to collect on an unpaid debt, and things got 8-bitty when the lady refused to pay.

The Light Phaser, the light gun that shipped with the Sega Master System, must be fairly common in Brazil, considering how incredibly popular the 8-bit console was in the country--it was one of Sega's strongest markets.

Fortunately, the man released his hostage, unharmed, after negotiating with police.

Well thank goodness there was no shootout! Because one time a friend tried to PEW PEW me with a NES Zapper and I was given no choice but to jam it up his ass, cord and all. Suffice it to say, Duck Hunt = awkward.

Brazilian Man Holds Woman Hostage For 10 Hours... With A Sega Light Gun [kotaku]

Thanks to Deathbat and Bourtney, who once held an entire break room full of coworkers hostage with coffee maker.

Mar 1 2009 What An R2-D2 Boombox Might Look Like

This is artist Bill McMullen's concept of what an R2-D2 boombox might look like if George Lucas had actually marketed some cool Star Wars merchandise instead of all the crap I still bought anyways. Unfortunately, this R2-Boom2 doesn't actually work, making it infinitely less useful for breakdancing. That sucker needs to pump some fresh beats! And also, project a holographic Leia that strips to the music. Best idea ever, or best idea ever -- you be the judge.

R2D2 Boombox, Now That's Art [uberreview]

Mar 1 2009 Bacon And Cheese Stuffed Pizza Burger

The Bacon and Cheese Stuffed Pizza Burger consists of the following: two sausage and pepperoni pizzas (serving as the bun), a 5-pound hamburger patty, two pounds of bacon, and two pounds cheese (plus an onion and two bulbs of garlic). And I think we can all agree: it could use a can of pork brains. Seriously though, I was thinking of making a pizza tonight anyways....

UPDATE: Made chicken tacos instead. Muy bueno!

Hit the jump for a picture tutorial of how to make your own.

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Mar 1 2009 Awww: Bizkit The Sleepwalking Dog

This is a video of Bizkit the sleepwalking dog. You should watch it, it's funny and sad at the same time. SPOILER ALERT: The dog sleepwalks into the wall. I originally thought it was cruel, but then watched the rest of the user's videos and they film the dog all the time, so I don't think they knew it would run into the wall. That said, I'm stealing Bizkit and starting a circus. DOOT DOOT DOODLE DOOT DOO DOO DOO DOOT. Cotton candy makes my clothes come off!

Hit the jump for a couple other videos of Bizkit, including one of some wicked sleep-standing action.

Continue Reading " Awww: Bizkit The Sleepwalking Dog "