Feb 5 2009The Pocket Shark: Not Mightier Than A Sword, But Could Still Put An Attacker's Eye Out
The Pocket Shark is a $7 pen that doubles as a weapon thanks to its rugged construction.
For starters, it's made from the glass-reinforced plastic, Grivory, the same tough material we use in our NIGHTSHADE SERIES (of knives), and features walls that are 4 times thicker than similar markers. This means it's built for impact and, in a self-defense emergency it can become an efficient Yawara stick for driving off an attacker. Plus, the screw-top cap will stay in place and won't pop off like a regular marker's cap would when you strike a percussion blow, or when obtaining joint locks or submission holds.
ZOMG! One minute I'm thinking, "yes, that marker does looks sturdy", and next thing you know they're talking about "percussion blows" and "submission holds". Well, I guess as long as the cap doesn't come off while I'm braining some poor sap. Hey, Superficial Writer -- come check out this pen trick I just learned!
UPDATE: Jesus, who the hell brings nunchucks to work?
Pocket Shark Isn't Your Average Marker [ohgizmo]
Thanks to Mikey, who may or may not be a pocket pool shark.
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Feel Just Like Wolverine, Minus The Cool (11/20/2008)
I'm Sold: Smencils Are Scented Pencils (03/03/2008)
Blown Off The Throne: Toilet Paper Prank (07/14/2009)
Reader Comments
1. Sage - February 5, 2009 3:40 PM
http://ihatekaty.com/?id=1803821#6dzz5z54fsdq7ez78z8d
First
2. LSDiesel - February 5, 2009 3:43 PM
These will be illegal soon...
3. naas - February 5, 2009 3:46 PM
I got a pocket shark right here.
4. Ruthless - February 5, 2009 3:53 PM
yeah! closest ive ever been to first... download my cock, bonk bonk!
5. gizmoduck - February 5, 2009 3:53 PM
excuse me, flow?
6. SiGee - February 5, 2009 3:54 PM
I'm gonna get one a f*uck up anyone who eats my cookies.
Go thin mints!
7. ShitBitch Carl - February 5, 2009 4:08 PM
Chuck Norris brings nun chucks to work.
8. Garrett - February 5, 2009 4:33 PM
David 12:07 PM]:
U SUK
Sierra [12:07 PM]:
U SUCK
Scott [12:07 PM]:
F y'all
Sierra 12:07 PM]:
effin whatev
Noel [12:07 PM]:
love u
David - Dell Team [12:07 PM]:
SCHLOTZ
Tommy [12:07 PM]:
Sierra, could you turn up the death metal a bit?
Sierra [12:07 PM]:
sure
Tommy [12:07 PM]:
a/s/l?
Sierra [12:07 PM]:
kidding
Tommy [12:08 PM]:
more like schlutz
David [12:08 PM]:
Schultz/
Noel [12:08 PM]:
schleps
Scott [12:08 PM]:
yeah I don't get ASL either
Sierra - Dell Team [12:08 PM]:
what tha F
Tommy [12:08 PM]:
Old school chatting? age/sex/location? Come on...
Sierra [12:09 PM]:
oh
never had to look for love on the interweb
Tommy [12:09 PM]:
Ouch
Scott [12:09 PM]:
dark alleys?
Tommy [12:09 PM]:
I saw it on "To Catch a Predator"
David [12:09 PM]:
ROTFLMAO
Sierra [12:09 PM]:
yea, there
Noel [12:09 PM]:
bath house
Tommy [12:09 PM]:
8----->
Sierra [12:09 PM]:
damn euros
Tommy [12:10 PM]:
8==========>
David [12:10 PM]:
(. )(. )
Tommy [12:10 PM]:
8========= >
David [12:10 PM]:
00===============>
bigger
9. nutinhoney - February 5, 2009 5:19 PM
"screw top cap"
let that sink in for a sec.
10. finfan - February 5, 2009 5:28 PM
Um I'm completely confused on what number 8 was doing...
8==================================================>>
;-) Yeah I win
11. Watch - February 5, 2009 6:00 PM
DAISY SHUT UP !!!!!!
NEVER BACK DOWN WAS A BAD MOVIE!!!!
NBD is the equivalent of dividing by zero
12. LSDiesel - February 5, 2009 6:42 PM
@10, are you implying that your penis is a railway spike?
13. naas - February 5, 2009 7:53 PM
@11 WATCH YOU F.UVCKN ASSBATERFAGGERWHALE SHUTTHEFVCKUP ABOUT DAISY ALREADY because he's part of our everyday lives AND I LIKE READING WHAT HE HAS TO SAY GODDDAMMITAAAHHHH!!!%#$!@
I will come over there if you don't quit that bitching, now!
14. formerly SPELLINGNAZI© - February 5, 2009 7:54 PM
WATCH SHUT UP !!!!!!
DAISY WILL NEVER BACK DOWN!!!!
15. Spam Artist - February 5, 2009 11:43 PM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete fotosyop jerb. You can tell its a fake because the syedows are all wronk.
This is exekli like that syeen from the movie Tyender Drakoola where Dracula built a second death star from the recycled materials of the first.
By doing this he saved untold quillions of galatic credits, and won a Green Award later that year.
16. naas - February 5, 2009 11:53 PM
@15 Spam Artist you're pathetic plagiarized attempt at being humorous or creative has left me slightly dumber than before having read that.
-99 points for FAILING MISERABLY at peaking anyones interest with your mockery of Daisy's contributions to this forum you faggabeefe!
17. Watch - February 6, 2009 12:37 AM
DAISY WILL BACK DOWN OR ILL DIVIDE BY ZERO AND ERASE NBD!!!!!!!!!!
18. Daisy - February 6, 2009 7:14 AM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max got visited by a giant and a drunken frenchamn with a dead guy who they wanted to revive. Max whipped up a pill to bring him back but it wasn't immediate.
19. Daisy - February 6, 2009 8:23 AM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job, You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max was trying to help the scientist escape from jail. He snuck into the compound in a cow suit.
20. Wild Bill - February 6, 2009 8:39 AM
I own Cold Steel's "Sharkie" the former incarnation of this device (before sharpie told them to shove it.) This is probably the best personal defence weapon anyone could carry because it's not going to be used against you. If you drop it in a scuffle, they're not going to assume to pick it up and stab you with it. Also, all that text about percussion strikes and locks... sure if you want to be laughed at at school. This baby is best utilized by simply smashing the point of it into your attackers ribs... which will then snap abruptly.
Also, I bought 5 of these for $20 Canadian. They're not $7 bucks each. Hand em out as stocking stuffers :) what a better festivus that would make.
21. Ollie Williams - February 6, 2009 11:16 AM
@12
Looks more like a below averaged sized penis (on my 19" screen anyway) and a very small set of testicles.
Sorry to hear about your deformity dude.