Feb 4 2009Scientists Invent Longer-Term Sleeping Pill

I don't get it, I put one in my nightcap before bed and I barely slept a wink. Then, just a few minutes ago, I blew a hole in the urinal during a routine bathroom break. WTF?!
sleep forever pill [szymon]
Thanks to Romeo, who one slept 24-hours straight. God, I want to do that.
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Reader Comments
1. Hunter - February 4, 2009 3:24 PM
very noice
2. Hunter - February 4, 2009 3:27 PM
actually, just sorta noice
first/second
3. luke - February 4, 2009 3:27 PM
joy.
4. Pew³ - February 4, 2009 3:29 PM
Those of you lucky enough to have your lives, take them with you. However, leave the limbs you've lost. They belong to me now.
5. naas - February 4, 2009 3:30 PM
I've used a different type of bullet that has an opposite effect.
6. firstgold - February 4, 2009 3:32 PM
Can't you get the same results from rope?
7. Jeezy - February 4, 2009 3:35 PM
STUPID
8. LSDiesel - February 4, 2009 3:44 PM
INSTRUCTIONS:
1.) Place capsule in dispenser magazine.
2.)Cock the dispenser. (hahahahaha, cock)
3.)Place end of barrel under chin or firmly against temple.
4.) Pull trigger.
5.) Goodnight!
If it didn't work the first time, pick up your face and call an ambulance.
9. OJ's Mom - February 4, 2009 3:47 PM
@4 - Biggest Win ever. I rewind that part and watch it over and over.
......bill
10. B - February 4, 2009 3:59 PM
So what are the side effects?
11. John wayne was a nazi - February 4, 2009 4:05 PM
#5: comment of the year...well played, sir,well played...
12. formerly SPELLINGNAZI© - February 4, 2009 4:24 PM
That's what you get when you select option #2 on the menu at "Cheers to You."
13. what? - February 4, 2009 4:39 PM
HAHAHA that's just as great as the air guitar strings, my family is so set for next Christmas
14. finfan - February 4, 2009 4:59 PM
God DAMN! This is so SEXY! Why don't they put a F**k Me label on the side?!?!
15. Hannukah Montana - February 4, 2009 5:04 PM
Nah, I don't need this.
Although it might be helpful, but I don't think it's necessary. (sniff)
No really, thanks for the offer. I'm good right now.
(sniff)
Aaahhh...
Maybe Daisy needs that kind of "capsule."
Daisy, I want you to take this capsule once every 24 hours. Better yet, just once and we'll see how it's affecting your sleeping pattern.
16. ko0pa - February 4, 2009 5:27 PM
Call your doctor for erections lasting longer than 4 hours
17. Tennist0 - February 4, 2009 7:23 PM
yeah... id sleep for a while after taking one of those too... "ok, just take one of these and youll sleep forever!" thats the slogan
18. formerly SPELLINGNAZI© - February 4, 2009 9:27 PM
@17: Thank you again, Captain Obvious.
19. Booboo - February 4, 2009 9:58 PM
I took one with a glass of water - but didn't seem to help.
Later that night while jerking off, I shot the dog.
20. JFreezy - February 4, 2009 10:21 PM
@19:
Ummmmm I'm pretty sure that was GW's joke. FAIL to you Booboo, FAIL to you!!!
21. JFreezy - February 4, 2009 10:38 PM
Also @19:
I would also go see a urologist if I were you. When you ejaculate, there is a small valve that closes that prevents urine from getting into the semen. You comment implies that you have a faulty valve, and urine is mixing in with you semen. if you ever tried to have kids, that would be a problem because the urine will kill the sperm before it even got close to the egg. Seek help. LOL!!
22. Captain Obvious - February 4, 2009 10:59 PM
But that will kill me.
23. Daisy - February 4, 2009 11:56 PM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max daydreams about killing all the annoying people in his office, and every day he loads his gun and thinks about what it would be like.to take them all out. One day he drops a bullet, and when he goes to get it, his neighbor starts killing everyone. Max shoots the killer and becomes a hero - one that isn't asked why he also had a loaded gun handy
24. i second number seven - February 5, 2009 1:38 AM
STUPID indeed.
25. JeezyCreezy - February 5, 2009 2:24 AM
My favorite bit is that it comes in a convenient multi-pack...
26. Right Fury - February 5, 2009 10:39 AM
@Daisy
HAH! he was a quiet man, awesome movie.
27. Watch - February 5, 2009 10:54 AM
DAISY!! SHUT UP!!!
NEVER BACK DOWN IS NOT A REAL MOVIE!!!
NBD is exactly like dividing by zero
28. STINK - February 5, 2009 1:17 PM
Why are they trying to re-invent the staff meeting? One of those and I get nothing done for the rest of the day.
29. SlowMonkey - February 5, 2009 7:43 PM
LOL there used to be a sleeping pill called Doral that was commonly used in Psych facilities that had a half life of 18 hours so that by day 4 or 5, they really were pretty much sleeping in their dinner plates.
30. Kitty - February 7, 2009 5:52 PM
http://kamorek.deviantart.com/art/Sleeping-pill-ver-2-35790408
original. ;]