Feb 5 2009Remains Of Giant, Prehistoric Snake Found
The fossilized remains of a monster snake that used to eat the hell out of giant crocodiles and other delicious beasts have been found in Colombia. Also, a mountain of coke. Literally, I climbed it.
The newly discovered type of snake, named Titanoboa in honour of its immense size, was for 10 million years the largest land predator on earth. It weighed 1.25 tonnes (~1.4 tons) and with a length of 45 feet or more it would have been able to take on and eat pretty much any other animal it came across.
He added: "Truly enormous snakes really spark people's imagination, but reality has exceeded the fantasies of Hollywood. The snake that tried to eat Jennifer Lopez in the movie Anaconda is not as big as the one we found."
Well thank God he referenced Anaconda, because otherwise I'd have no idea how big this snake really was. So this thing actually could eat Jennifer Lopez. Is she fat? I have no idea. Who do I look like, The Superficial Writer?
Giant Titanoboa snake ruled the earth after the dinosaurs [timesonline]
Thanks to Daniel, who astutely observed: OMFG. And another Daniel, who had this to add: Mommy.
Reader Comments
1. gizmoduck - February 5, 2009 10:15 AM
i want to ride it through a rainbow while wearing cowboy boots with laser spurs
2. Wesche - February 5, 2009 10:17 AM
FIRST!
3. Carlito - February 5, 2009 10:18 AM
If it was that big and eat the hell out of the crocodiles why it evolved into a "smaller" one??
4. LSDiesel - February 5, 2009 10:23 AM
I love how they found the fossilized remains and they (yes, they...meaning the scientists) already think they know everything about it. Psh. I really don't have THAT much faith in 'science'
5. E of R - February 5, 2009 10:35 AM
Yes, science knows all from little bits of nothing. "It went extinct because of global warming" will be the next hypothesis!
6. Spikey DaPikey - February 5, 2009 10:40 AM
Just imagine how many belts you could have made with that !
7. I say: "Ekke Ekke Ekke Ekke Ptang Zoo Boing" - February 5, 2009 10:52 AM
Columbia or Colombia...
8. Watch - February 5, 2009 10:53 AM
i figured out diasys patttern, she like to wait until theres 3 or more stories posted by GW then she makes her stupid NBD jokes.
anyways this snake didnt devolve, it went extinct. Google Megafauna and youll see what happened. This snake was only big due to the extreme climate back then.
9. LSDiesel - February 5, 2009 10:59 AM
@8, Normally I would tear into you for going into detail, but today you're on my side. Many people forget that reptiles never stop growing and under the right conditions, would theoretically be able to get up to 45 feet long and even longer.
Just like if the girl was hot enough, my cock could get up to at least four inches. Sadly I'm stuck in the terrible twos.
10. Ollie Williams - February 5, 2009 10:59 AM
@8
"This snake was only big due to the extreme climate back the[re]"
That's what she said!
11. Ice Cube - February 5, 2009 11:03 AM
SNAKES AROUND HERE DIS BIG???
check out this hilarious video about the PORNO BAILOUT Larry Flint was asking Congress for:
http://www.digitalfuntown.com/videos/150
12. Stormy - February 5, 2009 11:10 AM
I hope they don't decided to try to clone this....
13. Elmo - February 5, 2009 11:10 AM
"Titanoboa"???
14. Sadelis - February 5, 2009 11:15 AM
@4
LOL, yeah agreed. But it's just funny that you would chose that wording, specifically.
"Faith in science"
Awesome :p
15. Angel Mass - February 5, 2009 11:30 AM
@7 its ColOmbia the country, not the ColUmbia there
16. sally stutters - February 5, 2009 11:57 AM
@11 -- lol, nice vid Ice Cube!
17. Watch - February 5, 2009 12:12 PM
SNAKES ON THE PLANE!!!!!!!!! AGHHHHH!!!!!
18. Daisy - February 5, 2009 12:12 PM
How long till I post something retarded I wonder?
:D
19. SteveDave - February 5, 2009 12:56 PM
I like the CNN title for the article better. "Prehistoric 'monster' remains discovered" It made me want to go into journalism. Think of the articles you could write. "New world remains discovered" "Penicillin remains discovered" Really, anything that has not been dis-discovered would work...
20. Milkman - February 5, 2009 1:11 PM
Super cool, I dig dinos and ancient critters. One answer to your question why things used to be so big but aren't any more, there was much more oxygen in the air back then and the planet could support much larger life. Also since other large prey creatures died out, the food supply of any large predator would have been greatly diminished, unable to support large populations.
21. Pew³ - February 5, 2009 1:40 PM
I wish it were winter so we could freeze it into ice blocks and skate on it and melt it in the spring time and drink it!
22. blp - February 5, 2009 1:50 PM
@3, that's like asking why dinosaurs evolved into geckos. They didn't, they just got wiped out by climate change, asteroids, J Lo/Kim Kardashian sat on the last one of the species etc etc.
23. Binty - February 5, 2009 2:16 PM
British Columbia? What the hell does that have to do with coke?
24. Watch - February 5, 2009 2:17 PM
Diesel, why rip into me? i like having conversations here about the articles and i have never gone into detail yet that i can remember. i just hate daisys stupid NBD jokes. I agree with you on the growth of reptiles topic though.
25. George W Bush - February 5, 2009 2:41 PM
This isn't true, it's just Satan's way of trying to trick us into believing in "evolution."
Now people may say I have my head up my ass, but I've done a lot for America & I can be proud of that. Hey, who turned off all the lights? And why does it smell like poo in here?
26. LSDiesel - February 5, 2009 3:30 PM
@24, Nothing personal of course. I just like making fun of people online because it helps me forget that at the end of the day, I have to go back to the plantation to be passed around as a sex-object for burly native-american Homosexuals.
27. formerly SPELLINGNAZI© - February 5, 2009 7:04 PM
@24: I do however think it's personal. You sound like an even bigger idiot by commenting about Daisy constantly. It's a moot point, or in your words "dividing by zero"....or just banging your penis against the wall.
So shut the fcuk up, it's annoying.
28. guate6 - February 5, 2009 8:59 PM
It's sort of ok guys, the writer made a typo (columbia instead of colombia); the point is: that's one big huge F&*!@ing snake!
29. Bobby T - February 5, 2009 10:38 PM
I want to make love to a big prehistoric snake...
30. Watch - February 6, 2009 1:02 AM
27. formerly SPELLINGNAZI© - February 5, 2009 7:04 PM
@24: I do however think it's personal. You sound like an even bigger idiot by commenting about Daisy constantly. It's a moot point, or in your words "dividing by zero"....or just banging your penis against the wall.
So shut the fcuk up, it's annoying
well if GW would get the stones to erase that person off the boards, id be happy because he/she did not get the hint after GW made two articles calling this person out and saying they were annoying. i would like to be able to read the comments sections and see peoples opinions and thoughts about the article rather than see some stupid post in every section that use an obscure movie as a joke everytime with other movie references in it. so take your own advice douchebag!!
31. namakemono - February 6, 2009 5:01 AM
um.... Columbia?? I thought coke came from ColOmbia... ok from Bolivia too :p
32. Daisy - February 6, 2009 6:39 AM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max's rich grandfather died. His dying words were cryptic, and a newspaper reporter went around trying to figure out what they meant. He was unsuccessful.
33. Tom - February 6, 2009 7:11 AM
Dude, is it COLOMBIA or COLUMBIA?
34. SDB - February 6, 2009 9:30 AM
The news post mentions South America, so it must be the nation of Colombia, which is spelled with an "o".
35. Gaius - February 7, 2009 8:44 AM
I dont often comment can never be bothered but i was watching tv otherday re-runs of arthur c clarks something or other thats mysterious and lo an behold a picture taken during WWII of what can be described as that damn snake we just dug up!
If your interested have a peep
http://www.cryptomundo.com/cryptozoo-news/clarke-obit/
36. Kyle - March 23, 2009 12:10 AM
Do they make a gun big enuf to kill that thing? cause thats the best way to treat a snake... blow the head off
37. durr - March 23, 2009 4:15 PM
Scientists don't assume to know everything from some bones jackass. I want to know what it is in the article that you find is so difficult to discover from some bones. Weight is easily figured out with the size of the snake. You can easily compare the snakes size to other creatures with a database...yes...we have computers with databases of other predators AND THEY CAN COMPARE THEM. So what's with the pointless comment?
38. jim - June 11, 2009 5:09 AM
This may have been a relative to the Anaconda considering they are still rather large, back then everything seemed to be much bigger!