Feb 4 2009Klingon Robs 7-11 With Traditional Sword
Klingons: they can't be trusted. Proof positive: some mountain-head has been running around Colorado Springs robbing 7-11's with a BetleH, the traditional Klingon sword.
The first robbery was reported at 1:50 a.m., at 145 N Spruce St. The clerk told police a white male in his 20s, wearing a black jacket, blue jeans and wearing a black mask, entered the store with a sword.
A half hour later, police received a call from a 7-Eleven at 2407 N Union Blvd, where a male matching the previous description entered the store with a sword. He also demanded money from the store clerk. The clerk did not give him any money and the suspect left the store on foot.Both clerks described the weapon as a Star Trek Klingon type sword, called a "BetleH."
Haha, and that highschool guidance counselor said you couldn't land a job based on extensive Star Trek knowledge. Screw you, Ms. Bench, who's laughing now?!
Man Robs Convenience Stores With Klingon Sword [thedenverchannel]
Thanks to Hector, who once robbed an Exxon station with one of their own pump handles.
Reader Comments
1. neil - February 4, 2009 11:02 AM
first
2. GTO--Josh - February 4, 2009 11:04 AM
second losers
3. Borat - February 4, 2009 11:10 AM
ON MY PLANET, I WOULD KILL YOU WHERE YOU STAND
4. LT Worf - February 4, 2009 11:12 AM
ON MY PLANET, I WOULD KILL YOU WHERE YOU STAND
5. LSDiesel - February 4, 2009 11:15 AM
If only this guy had a Mii, he'd be sooooo much easier to track down.
6. Timbo - February 4, 2009 11:17 AM
Dang aliens...trying to take over one 7-11 at a time...
7. Sub-Zero - February 4, 2009 11:21 AM
How exactly do you conceal that well without slicing a body part off?
8. bar room hero - February 4, 2009 11:32 AM
wow, what an interesting choice of weapon...
probably an out of work director of IT...
9. Hunter - February 4, 2009 11:33 AM
That picture just SCREAMS plastic, haha.
10. Uncle Eccoli - February 4, 2009 11:45 AM
Incidentally, the proper spelling is, "betleH."
@3 & 4
It's, "If you were any other man I'd kill you where you stand."
11. Ollie Williams is a Fuc-king Pussy - February 4, 2009 11:45 AM
I'd like to shove it up Ollie's Trolly
12. Angel Mass - February 4, 2009 11:54 AM
Oh uh, dont let the robbers know about the Final Fantasy VIII Gunblade...
http://www.figuresworld.net/video_games/finalfantasy/ma_ffviii_squalls_gunblade.jpg
13. SiGee - February 4, 2009 12:04 PM
@ 11
F*uck yea!
F*UCK OLLIE! Effin Asshat!
14. SiGee - February 4, 2009 12:06 PM
This is what I usually cut off LSDiesel's constraints whenever he comes over.
15. photoshop-police - February 4, 2009 12:11 PM
stupid criminal!
Everyone knows you use a D'k tahg to hold up Seven Elevens!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:D%27k_tahg.jpg
16. Ollie Williams - February 4, 2009 12:15 PM
@11, 13
Aww, how cute. Douche McAllister is still angry at me. Toughen up little guy, you'll be okay.
<3 Ollie
17. Ollie Williams - February 4, 2009 12:18 PM
Oh, and @14,
You're still a whore.
18. Ollie Williams - February 4, 2009 12:21 PM
I am unclean! SO UNCLEAN! F*UCK!
19. LSDiesel - February 4, 2009 12:34 PM
@18, She may be a whore, but she is MY whore. Go rob a 7-11 with one of your dildos or something.
20. Ollie Williams - February 4, 2009 12:47 PM
@20
Good idea. I personally don't own a dildo, but I'll run by your mothers house and grab hers. We're close. Trust me.
21. SlowMonkey - February 4, 2009 12:50 PM
Yes, it would be a white guy in his 20s, now wouldn't it.
22. Ollie Williams - February 4, 2009 12:50 PM
By close I mean she reems my ass with a strap on while I do my nails and watch old Price is Right reruns. That Bob Barker is such a charmer!
23. Watch - February 4, 2009 1:17 PM
DAISY SHUT UP!!! NEVER BACK DOWN IS NOT A REAL MOVIE!!!
This is exactly like diving by zero.
24. LSDiesel - February 4, 2009 1:29 PM
@24, then maybe you can explain what the hell this is
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Never_Back_Down
25. Cakeflour - February 4, 2009 1:30 PM
Today is a good day to die! Or at least rob a 7-11...
26. hectorv1979 - February 4, 2009 2:18 PM
YEAHHH they picked the article i sent
27. Tricky Ricky - February 4, 2009 2:21 PM
You Better Know Your Star Trek Mister..because you sure don't know...
The bat'leth, or "sword of honor", is a traditional Klingon blade weapon. Resembling a crescent-shaped, two-ended scimitar, the bat'leth is wielded using three handholds along the outside edge of the blade. It is widely considered the most popular weapon among Klingon warriors.
According to Klingon mythology, the first bat'leth was forged by Kahless the Unforgettable in the 9th century. Kahless cut a lock of his hair and dropped it into the lava of the Kri'stak volcano, then plunged the burning lock into the Lake of Lusor and twisted it into a blade. After forging the weapon, he used it to fight the tyrant Molor, and then gave it its name. This story was not recorded in public texts, but was passed down verbally by the Klingon clerics as a test of Kahless' return. (TNG: "Rightful Heir") (See also: The Story of the Promise)
A bat'leth on the Barge of the DeadThe Sword of Kahless was preserved by the Klingons following Kahless' death, until it was stolen by the Hur'q when they plundered Qo'noS about 500 years after his death. (DS9: "The Sword of Kahless")
Worf owned a bat'leth that had been in his family for ten generations. After his mate K'Ehleyr was murdered by Duras, Worf used this weapon to kill Duras in honorable combat. (TNG: "Reunion")
During his time aboard the USS Enterprise-D, Worf trained both William Riker and Beverly Crusher in the use of the bat'leth. (TNG: "The Quality of Life", "The Pegasus")
A bat'leth was displayed among other trophies in the early-2280s mountain cabin of James T. Kirk, as re-created by the Nexus. (Star Trek Generations)
A traditional bat'leth is typically approximately 116 centimeters long, with blades of composite baakonite, weighs about 5.3 kilograms, and has an exterior hand grip diameter of 5 centimeters. (DS9: "Blood Oath)
28. Ollie Williams - February 4, 2009 2:27 PM
@28
Your long effing comments are not welcome here. Please leave.
29. petey - February 4, 2009 2:48 PM
oh my god, I honestly feel terrible for Tricky Ricky. Poor, sad dude.
30. SiGee - February 4, 2009 3:03 PM
@20 Damn Straight!
@ Ollie... Go suck an effin dick you douchebag.
31. Right Fury - February 4, 2009 3:05 PM
Star trek sucks. It's all touchy feely, "lets reroute the power. blah blah" Fcuk that. Set phazers to blow some shizzle up.
This guy should have tried to rob a store anywhere south of the mason/dixon. He'd be wearing a nice new hole somewhere near center mass.
32. hectorv1979 - February 4, 2009 3:38 PM
um Tricky Ricky you might want to move out of your moms basement
33. Ollie Williams - February 4, 2009 3:40 PM
@31
Admit it, it took you all day to think about that comeback. That sure was a good one.
34. Daisy - February 4, 2009 11:46 PM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max wanted to become a dentist, but his family all were toymakers. He ran away to the island of misfit toys, and made friends with a raindeer, a prospector that kissed his pickaxe, and an abominable snowman.
35. Madzay - February 5, 2009 1:48 AM
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
..............................................
whats a klingon??????
36. LSDiesel - February 5, 2009 10:29 AM
@28, What's wrong with your comment? Hm? Hm?
37. Watch - February 5, 2009 12:19 PM
DAISY!! SHUT UP!!!
NEVER BACK DOWN IS NOT A REAL MOVIE!!!
NBD is exactly like dividing by zero
38. Andreas - February 6, 2009 9:00 AM
i for one welcome our new klingon overlords!
39. chrisamp - February 6, 2009 1:00 PM
dnftt in my shoe
40. scott - March 10, 2009 3:17 AM
go rickey everyone's alowed a rant or 2 rock on:)