Feb 4 2009Man Vows To Eat Only Bacon For A Month
Mike Nelson (of Mystery Science Theater 3000 fame) has vowed to only eat bacon for the month of February. Why? Because it's delicious. And healthy.
Now for the fine print: "Bacon" shall hereafter refer to the cured and smoked fatty cuts of pork, either back, side or belly. In other words "American bacon". No "Canadian bacon", which is really just lunchmeat. No pork chops. No turkey bacon. No "tofacon" or any such horror. Just bacon.
No condiments allowed. No syrups, or hot sauces, or pureed vegetables in the form of ketchup. No sauces at all. Just nature's finest bacon, all by its dignified self.I am making allowances for the following beverages: beer, wine, martinis and water. No juices, no V8, nothing that could be construed as "healthy". This is somewhat arbitrary, I grant you, but one bit of madness at a time, is my reasoning.
So far things are going without a hitch on day four, but he'll be dead by mid-month. RIP in advance, Mike.
Bacon Stupidity [rifftrax]
Thanks to Kevin, who once vowed to only eat pastrami for a month. He made it to brunch.
Reader Comments
1. Diechuz - February 4, 2009 5:38 PM
It someone put first, i will go to his home and kick his ass.
2. BACON - February 4, 2009 5:39 PM
FIRST and death to all those non bacon eaters
3. Popadopolis - February 4, 2009 5:40 PM
That's like this one time I promised myself no choking my chicken for two whole days.
Needless to say, 48 hours and 27seconds later, I was spotted by mall security relieving myself in the Macy's dressing room.
(they let me finish before they arrested me)
4. formerly SPELLINGNAZI© - February 4, 2009 5:48 PM
Um, dude should watch "Super Size Me". That guy's liver was trashed about 2-3 weeks in, and that was off a full menu of McDonald's food...imagine what only bacon will do. It also took him 14 months to lose the weight he gained in 30 days.
I concur with GW, R.I.P. Mike.
5. kosher_23 - February 4, 2009 5:49 PM
Shit, I'd do it right now. Who does not eat bacon?
That's pathetic. Things like that isn't considered to be a challenge. That's indulgence rather than struggle.
And no one really cares. Go choke on it and get a stroke you filthy bastard.
You know what would be a challenge? Eat nothing but yogurt for a month. Let's see how you can handle that, tough guy.
6. naas - February 4, 2009 5:55 PM
Score one for bacon, mmMMmmm
7. Steampunk - February 4, 2009 6:06 PM
But I love Mike Nelson, I don't want him to get a heart attack and die. :(
8. Moose Knuckle - February 4, 2009 6:25 PM
@5 I agree, that's like saying: I vow to imagine every hot chick I see, naked, then whip my weener out and chase her around saying "kiss the turkey neck-kiss the turkey neck!" for a month.
No challenge
9. Tricky Ricky - February 4, 2009 6:32 PM
I wonder if that guy saw the article posted on here about the bacon bra? now who wouldn't want to eat that bacon, or the girl wearing it for that matter..
10. gizmoduck - February 4, 2009 6:46 PM
i leave for 5 days and i come back on and the first thing i see is bacon again.
god bless america and flavor flav
11. Moose Knuckle - February 4, 2009 6:52 PM
Pssst-
Pew3...
It's gizmoduck...
12. Pew³ - February 4, 2009 6:54 PM
YEAH!!!!!!
I was getting worried. Next time call us if you're not going to be here.
Nice to have you back.
13. Justin - February 4, 2009 6:56 PM
Bacon is nothing but fat and sodium. Its also loaded with nitrates and nitrites then are DIRECTLY linked to increasing your chances of developing several types of cancer as well as putting an unnecessary strain on the heart.
Bacon is absolutely wretched for you and so be avoided like a gaggle of lepers giving out free hugs.
Do yourself a favor and eat right.
http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/features/superfoods-everyone-needs
14. Pew³ - February 4, 2009 6:57 PM
Hey, hey! What's this I see? I thought this was a party. LET'S DANCE!
15. formerly SPELLINGNAZI© - February 4, 2009 6:59 PM
@9: Me. That bacon was raw, and any woman who wears raw bacon on her nipples has issues....and her pits were kinda nasty...
16. gizmoduck - February 4, 2009 6:59 PM
ahah aw. i was missed or something?
now you two, i'm going to cali this weekend so be on your best behavior and try not to stick any bacon up your butt. thats not where it goes
17. Moose Knuckle - February 4, 2009 6:59 PM
You won't get any dancing here, it's illegal
18. Pew³ - February 4, 2009 7:00 PM
Jump back!
19. Moose Knuckle - February 4, 2009 7:01 PM
16 <-----funwrecker
20. Pew³ - February 4, 2009 7:01 PM
We're going to Cali too! What part?
21. aznterrorist - February 4, 2009 7:05 PM
I'm Canadian and I don't even like Canadian bacon..
22. Pew³ - February 4, 2009 7:07 PM
...please say Disneyland, please say Disneyland....
23. Tony Huynh - February 4, 2009 7:11 PM
Let's see some before and after pictures.
24. Azareph - February 4, 2009 8:12 PM
@13: I beg to differ.
Bacon also has proteins, crunchyness, red dye that makes me drool, melty sunshine on my breakfast, a smell that makes everybody happy, lots of je ne sai quoi that makes you forget to feed the dog and it's a gift from the gods.
Broccoli lacks all of the above and makes me fart like I ate a three day old roadkilled raccoon.
Anyway... Mike will die for being a filthy bastard. And if he survives... I dare him to eat only broccoli and whole milk for a month!!!!!!
25. Berto - February 4, 2009 8:27 PM
He'll have a hard time taking a dump without any fiber.
Is this supposed to be like "Supersize me"? Because I really think this is worse than the movie.
26. McTOM - February 4, 2009 8:54 PM
the shadows are all wrong. :D
27. dave - February 4, 2009 9:01 PM
he'll be dead in 15 days...
28. E of R - February 4, 2009 11:25 PM
Fail in T minus.....
29. Daisy - February 4, 2009 11:53 PM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max got sent to live on a space station by mad scientists. He was forced to watch bad movies, and take part in the scientists experiments while wearing a jumpsuit.
30. SeanG - February 5, 2009 12:21 AM
This challenge isn't that impressive. When I was a senior in high school I took the man challenge instead of lent. So for 40 days, I ate only meat products. There could be no other product mixed in with the meat besides hot sauce and more meat. No vegetables, no fruits, no carbs, only meat, hot sauce, and water.
The bowl of Lucky Charms that I hate on the 41st day was the best meal I've ever had.
31. Hubbard comma Joshua - February 5, 2009 1:10 AM
Bacon is good...but, I don't think i've ever eaten bacon until i was full.
CURSE MY LACK OF SUFFICIENT MONIES TO BUY BACON!
(plural of bacon is... baconi?)
MBC/Hubbard
32. Madzay - February 5, 2009 1:38 AM
i love bacon....but im not THAT stupid....
i can see it now.....
"UPDATE: the guy's dead..."
33. TommyP - February 5, 2009 5:42 AM
Well hopefully not JD bacon - or god forbid, Bar S.
Some bacon is worse than others - but all bacon is pretty tasty!
34. Kiran Wagle - February 5, 2009 5:55 AM
It turns out that a meat-only diet is perfectly healthy, as was discovered first in studies of Inuit hunters and later verified in controlled studies. Spend some time Googling.
Lieb, Clarence W.: "The Effects on Human Beings of a Twelve Months' Exclusive Meat Diet," Journal of the American Medical Association, July 6, 1929.
35. Peregrinus - February 5, 2009 7:11 AM
Didn't some old guy die at the age of 103 or something in New York City a few years ago with a diet consisting of only fried fatback and boxed wine or something. I think it was on a Back in Black thing on The Daily Show.
36. eggs - February 5, 2009 7:24 AM
If he makes it through, it'd ruin bacon for him, forever. You can't not get sick of something after a stunt like this. No way to win this.
37. iheartbacon - February 5, 2009 9:34 AM
Canadian bacon isn't lunch meat, it's back bacon. So would that be okay to eat?
38. lol - February 5, 2009 9:44 AM
@36, definitely. An all around fail situation after the first few days.
Bacon is awesome, but this one of the stupidest idea I've heard in a while. He deserves to die. Peace
39. gizmoduck - February 5, 2009 10:09 AM
i wish disney land. that would rule so hard.
but sadly no. santa barbra my friends
40. long island girl - February 5, 2009 10:24 AM
This idea makes no sense at all. If his reason for doing this is challenge, i don't think it is. He should have thought of something more unbelievable and unique. It doesn't even prove anything at all.
41. wiinja - February 5, 2009 10:46 AM
man, i loved that guy. we'll miss you, mike!
42. wiinja - February 5, 2009 10:49 AM
although, february is a short month. do it in a real month, mike.
43. Watch - February 5, 2009 10:49 AM
DAISY!! SHUT UP!!!
NEVER BACK DOWN IS NOT A REAL MOVIE!!!
this is exactly like dividing by zero
44. Birv - February 5, 2009 11:26 AM
mmmm bacon. The candy of meat.
45. STINK - February 5, 2009 1:11 PM
Now if by "eat bacon" he meant "have sex only with women wearing bacon bras", I fully support this endeavor. And so will the bacon bras.
46. Glenda - February 5, 2009 1:16 PM
Imagine eating only vegetables or soycurds or any one thing for that matter for a month, it's a big change for your digestive system and would prolly cause cramps and bloating. I'm dieting so I eat at Mcdonalds for lunch every day, BIG salad (low fat dressing) fruit snax with a juice drink. But I would'nt eat mega burgers 3 or 4 times a day with giant sugar colas like that idiot who thought people were too stupid to notice how much he was deliberately eating to make himself sick , the one who made 'Super size me' , (to try and prove a point that ground beef, sesame buns,salad and fried potatoes are bad for you? or to point out that BIG Macs are bad for you? hmmmm). Anything in excess is bad for you idiot man. Imagine eating super sized plates of veggies or fruit every day, all day you'd get really sick. Some people just hate BIG meat, BIG Mac, BIG corporate, (BIG Bacon?), bc being weak and needy they crave BIG power and control. Mmmmmm sizzle sizzle ~~~~~~
47. prideofchucky - February 5, 2009 1:47 PM
Off topic:
I think that chronic headache has thrown poor Mike over the edge:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/06/10/magazine/10funny-humor-t.html?_r=1
48. t - February 5, 2009 2:09 PM
am i the only one who finds amusing that keving sends a history on bacon?
49. Azrael - February 5, 2009 5:39 PM
You Americans have no idea what you are talking about. Canadian Bacon puts ALL your pork products to shame.
50. formerly SPELLINGNAZI© - February 5, 2009 8:44 PM
@47 You're an idiot.
He got exactly the point he was trying to make across. Plus he added both sides of the argument when he featured that guy who eats Big Macs every single day but is skinny as a rail...but never has fries.
Yes, people are really THAT stupid. Many people eat fast food several, if not all meals a day and are morbidly obese. That was an excellent movie, and was presented extremely well.
And no, you would not get sick from eating massive amounts of vegetables every day. Your system would get used to it very quickly, your shit might be a bit runny, but at least your liver wouldn't get pickled.
51. formerly SPELLINGNAZI© - February 5, 2009 9:57 PM
#47: "I'm dieting so I eat at Mcdonalds for lunch every day"
Wow, epic fail.
52. Crapsworth - February 6, 2009 4:53 AM
Not enough bacon in this diet. Mr. Nelson needs to include Bacon infused Vodka. Nothing like a blend of cheap booze and swine fat to quench your need for booze.
53. glenda - February 6, 2009 10:02 PM
Lost almost 2 lbs on my MacDiet this week, .
54. Derek - February 11, 2009 10:54 AM
Mike Nelson always knows how to put on a good show. Haha even now. What a great idea. I hope we don't lose another talented star due to tragedy :O Mst3k is one of my favorite shows and I've been watching them at work to pass the time.I even have my own site for any fans with merch and a list of the top episodes.
http://www.squidoo.com/mst3ktops
I love hearing anyone elses opinion on favorite episodes too :) Mike is much better than joel!
55. Fab - February 11, 2009 4:49 PM
This guy's totally my hero. If he survives, I'm going for two months. Not to publish anything, only because it'd be Amazing!!!
56. Erik @ RiffTrax - February 21, 2009 1:23 AM
Mike is on Day 20, and he has not died yet. So for those of you who thought he would, FAIL. Also, he's lost a little weight and his blood pressure has actually decreased. Thought I'd let you know, now that he's in the homestretch.
57. Jamie Walker - March 17, 2009 7:19 PM
it aint exactly difficult, i have an eating disorder where i can only eat bacon lol its funny i no but yer a month nuffin, try 15 years.
58. Chill Will - January 15, 2010 2:01 PM
@ishigum,
It's pretty arrogant that Canada can name a type of meat after itself. You don't call regular bacon American bacon now do you?