Feb 10 2009Large Hadron Collider Still Not Colliding
Apparently now that the LHC has Google doing its bidding, it's taking it easy and won't become operational anytime soon. Unless September is considered soon, in which case, shit, I won't live to see the finale of LOST.
The Large Hadron Collider could be switched back on in September - a year after it shut down due to a malfunction and several months later than expected.
An investigation into the LHC's problems concluded the initial malfunction was caused by a faulty electrical connection between two of the accelerator's magnets. Cern had also said new protection systems would be added as part of £14m repairs.It blamed the shutdown on the failure of a single, badly soldered electrical connection in one of its super-cooled magnet sections.
I applaud you, nameless faulty solderer. I just hope you and the other saboteurs have something planned for September, lest we all get sucked into a worm hole and wind up in some alien's petting zoo. Which, I think we can all agree, would -- wait, you think they have dinosaurs?
Hadron Collider relaunch delayed [bbcnews]
Thanks to Richie-Con-Carne, who tastes delicious with Sriracha hot sauce.
Reader Comments
1. naass - February 10, 2009 1:02 PM
Maybe they should flip it over & run it backwards..
2. naas - February 10, 2009 1:07 PM
I bet driving a delorean with an overdriven flux capacitor in between those magnets might start a nice chain reaction.
3. Ollie Williams Is A Dirty C.unt - February 10, 2009 1:07 PM
HA HA! GW want's F.UCK a dino's C.UNT! FUNNY!
4. naas - February 10, 2009 1:09 PM
pfft, who doesn't Ollie?
5. Elmo - February 10, 2009 1:09 PM
maybe they should ask the aliens in area 51 to help them with it
6. Pew³ - February 10, 2009 1:16 PM
There's an entirely different universe beyond that black hole. A point where time and space as we know it no longer exists. We will be the first to see it, to explore it, to experience it!
7. Hunter - February 10, 2009 1:23 PM
I'm pretty sure an entire human being could do that to a dinosaur Ollie, oh wait, hadron colliders, sorry, um yeah they're overrated.
8. Kup - February 10, 2009 1:24 PM
you sure this wasn't left over gear from Lost in space?
9. BOOSH! - February 10, 2009 1:35 PM
@ 6 ... and die in it.
Didn't you see Event Horizon?
10. Pat - February 10, 2009 1:36 PM
Nu-uh Kup! It's from Star Trek the original series, episode 32 were Kirk...
Oh, hell, I'm starting to sound like Daisy.
11. Ollie Williams - February 10, 2009 1:42 PM
@3
Jesus christ you're a moron.
12. Moose Knuckle - February 10, 2009 1:47 PM
@6 There are three basic types, Mr. Pizer, the wills, the won'ts, and the can'ts. The wills accomplish everything, the won'ts oppose everything, and the can'ts won't try anything.
13. Daisy - February 10, 2009 1:51 PM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max called central services to report problems with the heating and cooling in his flat. Very soon Tuttle showed up and fixed it, without authorization. When the real fixers showed up, they detected the other work and messed it up on purpose.
14. Moose Knuckle - February 10, 2009 1:53 PM
I believe this is all part of Mighty Cthulhu's great plan, he still sleeps in his lost cyclopeon city of Ry'leh.
When they nightmares come and you begin to feel your grasp on sanity become tenuous, then you will know his long slumber is ending, then the sweet relaese of madness will start to creep in.
The particle accelerator will open the door to the dream lands behind the wall of sleep, only the very fortunate will die first...
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh C'thulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
15. LSDiesel - February 10, 2009 1:55 PM
@11, I agree.
16. poodles - February 10, 2009 1:56 PM
1st off, maybe some greater being, like the J-man, is conspiring to keep this thing broken, perhaps god knows that if we all die at once, he won't be able to handle all the traffic through the celestial gateways, yeah sure he is planning on doing judgement day at some point, but only after he is well rested and spent a few millenniums in the gym. I mean even god couldn't have estimated that earth's population of humans would grow to over 6 billion.
2nd, geekologie writer, you will never ever EVER see the last episode of LOST, that show ceases to end, and I hate it, I mean damn, Earth isn't all that big, some dumbass woulda found them by now, but I can see it now, final episode= everyone engaging in a giant orgy of sorts and out pops the next generation of Losters. Sweet LOST the 2nd generation, and so on and so on and so on and so on and so on and so on and so on.......
3rd, quit calling it a Hadron collider, I keep thinking the title says Hardon and closing my window real fast!
17. Wes - February 10, 2009 1:59 PM
I wish they would just give up before they make another mistake and blow up half of europe
18. Nyarlathotep - February 10, 2009 2:03 PM
@14 Shhhhhhhh, don't tell everone...
19. Kup - February 10, 2009 2:06 PM
@17; or sell it to Gates for his house's new HVAC system
20. poodles - February 10, 2009 2:06 PM
@17 why would you miss half of europe!>!>!?? who cares about those snooty europeans! big deal!
21. Douchie Mc Bagman - February 10, 2009 2:09 PM
@17 - that sure would be a disaster. Lets allow them the time to perfect it and thereby blow up ALL of europe.
22. poodles - February 10, 2009 2:11 PM
@21 someone knows whats up!!!!!
23. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - February 10, 2009 2:11 PM
I have no issue communicating without the use of profanity. Quite frankly, the english language offers much more colorful adjectives. The point being made is simply that in this country, where this blog is hosted, we have freedom of speech. The same freedom of speech that would protect this blogger (GW) in court. I find it rather disingenuous of him to post NSFW content and genitalia jokes, then censor our comments about them.
Pffbbt naas, I don't.
24. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - February 10, 2009 2:13 PM
21 - You are my hero.
25. Watch - February 10, 2009 2:31 PM
get this thing working again!
26. Right Fury - February 10, 2009 2:53 PM
what a bunch of clowns with their hadron collider toy. Grow up.
27. Ollie Williams F.ucks Children - February 10, 2009 3:28 PM
@11
Jesus Christ you're an asshole
28. Ollie Williams - February 10, 2009 3:40 PM
I'd rather be an asshole (which I am, admittedly), than a moron. No one likes you, including your parents. You're not funny. You should go kill yourself this afternoon. Seriously.
29. LSDiesel - February 10, 2009 3:48 PM
@28, I normally try not to take sides, but I agree with you. The little shitsack needs to off himself.
30. naas - February 10, 2009 4:28 PM
@28 & @29 right with you on that, fuk Ollie - what a cockplugger.
31. ThatGuy - February 10, 2009 5:24 PM
First Again.......
32. Chaos The Hedgehog - February 10, 2009 7:16 PM
i just hope i get trasported to planet full of female virgins... yah know what i mean.
33. formerly SPELLINGNAZI© - February 10, 2009 10:37 PM
I'm still not clear about what this thing is supposed to do. Wtf is a hadron, and why do people want to collide them?
34. formerly SPELLINGNAZI© - February 10, 2009 10:40 PM
All I get from Wikipedia is that a hadron is "bound quarks". The only quark I know if is from Star Trek...the shitty one. Why would anyone want to collide bound ferengiis (ferengi?) together, seems like a waste of time and money.
35. Al Dracone - February 11, 2009 12:58 AM
This HC thing is yesterday's news... and it was boring then, to. If the guys working on this POC would consider colliding their cars together, with them inside, now THAT would be something worth watching! Anyway, I bet my bong that they're not going to succeed this year either...
36. Gnnnhhy - February 11, 2009 3:52 AM
why byld somtheng dat dsn't werks, meik mi mind gose blherf.
37. pro - February 12, 2009 7:08 AM
I totally share the sentiments of formerlySPELLINGNAZI - what is that thing, just to think that some rich spoilt brats are sitting having a cup of tea with their dainty little fingers on a button meant to zap us to some alien petting zoo, or planet of the apes...!