Feb 2 2009Fat Face: Face Slimmer Allegedy Slims Faces
First of all, I predicted the Steelers would win the Super Bowl in a post a couple weeks ago. So I am officially magic. And also, I have a fat face. So thank God for this Japanese face slimmer. It's basically a rubber mask you wear to pretend you're a homicidal cannibal and scare your family. It's similar to binding your feet, except it won't work. If you really want a slim face just man up and use a vice. It works -- I'm so handsome now the dog will play with me.
Japanese face slimmer will definitely not work as advertised [dvice]
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Reader Comments
1. TommyB - February 2, 2009 10:09 AM
FIRST!!
Also, this is released just in time for the new Friday the 13th, glad Jason decided on a nice purple colour!
2. catch22 - February 2, 2009 10:13 AM
...the japanese are not like us
3. AmishGuy - February 2, 2009 10:21 AM
do they come in other colors...
If so... it's mighty morphin power ranger time.
4. Ollie Williams - February 2, 2009 10:29 AM
@3
Correction: Mighty Morphin' Face-Slimming Power Ranger time.
5. E of R - February 2, 2009 10:36 AM
This is just like the space toilets they came up with.... just sh!t yo pants!
6. pinacolonic - February 2, 2009 10:39 AM
@3 i call red ranger!
7. Timbo - February 2, 2009 10:41 AM
There's another "magic" face slimmer....it's called exercise......
8. OJ's Mom - February 2, 2009 10:41 AM
I would kill the (FECES) out of some (FEMALE DOGS) if I wore that.
Can I just say that this new censorship policy is the weakest thing ever? This site isn't for nuns or children, it's for adults that want to vent. And sometimes adults use naughty language. To see that this site has caved to the 'moral majority' is pitiful.
Oops, you used a bad word.
Sorry, guys. We've gotten a lot of complaints so we need to start moderating the language on the site. Try cleaning up the language in your comment and post it again. Lame, we know. Thanks for understanding.
9. OJ's Mom - February 2, 2009 10:42 AM
@3 - No, but your mom does.
10. Moose Knuckle - February 2, 2009 10:58 AM
That's some uckinfay KC Jones itshay right there...
Yeah, the censorship thing is seriously hoe mow
11. Daisy - February 2, 2009 11:39 AM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max was the only one the guy in the candy store made pay. He was also an idiot because he wanted a goldenticket, but then didn't get a wonka bar. Later after a false news story about the last golden ticket being found, Max had to listen to his mom sing a boring cheer up song, and then he bought a wonka bar, and found the real last ticket to visit the factory where the candy is made by the Waco Kid.
12. Strabo - February 2, 2009 11:39 AM
so...the japanese have just re-invented the gimp mask?
13. Thumperchica - February 2, 2009 11:45 AM
Ok, this mask is ghey. And it looks like fetish wear.
This censorship thing is a load of crap GW. I was unaware this site, complete with penis jokes, sexist humor, cruelty and lufe references was written for the faint of heart. If you keep dumbing this down, kiss this reader/commenter good bye.
14. Thumperchica - February 2, 2009 11:55 AM
*lufe = lewd... I have no idea how the heck that happened...
15. Douchie Mc Bagman - February 2, 2009 11:56 AM
@13 - I'll show you my joke penis any time. If you offend it enough it just might spit at you.
16. Thumperchica - February 2, 2009 12:15 PM
15- That is highly offensive sir, spitting at people. Pardon me while I send a snarky/whiny email to GW and ask that you be censored. Good day sir! I SAID GOOD DAY!
17. dar - February 2, 2009 12:20 PM
yeaaaaaahhh! fat with skinny face, that's awesome.
GO STEELERSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeaahahahhhhh!!
18. weee!! - February 2, 2009 2:10 PM
oF coUrse you Can maKe Your Own Using a Garden Weasel.
19. formerly SPELLINGNAZI© - February 2, 2009 5:12 PM
lmao @9...that was fũcking funny
20. Watch - February 2, 2009 6:23 PM
daisy shut up
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake bewcause the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the website Geekologie where Daisy woulndt stop making lame never back down jokes and caused the admins to remove the comments section so that she couldnt make annoying spam comments again!!!!!
21. Matt - February 2, 2009 7:10 PM
@5
So the solution is to shit out my face?
22. yumwaffles - February 2, 2009 7:16 PM
This looks like a bondage slave mask... I think I'll get it.
23. Mike smith - February 2, 2009 7:59 PM
don't know about this item but some things you think won't work can.
most people think a foreskin can not be regrown, however with tension it is actually possibly to grow enough skin to get a good bit of the benefits of a real foreskin
24. bust it - February 2, 2009 9:44 PM
yeah...because the delivery guy totally won't sh*t himself when you answer the door during a face slimming session...
asians are..."Funny"...to put it one way.
25. mark - February 3, 2009 6:16 AM
The bad photoshop job can always be a bad photoshop job on the packaging. It could be a real product, it's not too weird to be true.
26. avsky - February 3, 2009 7:33 PM
Old news is old.