Feb 17 2009Fail: Two Nuclear Subs Crash Into Each Other
In an unprecedented subbing fail, a British nuclear sub recently crashed into a French one. I've got the feeling somebody swerved out of their lane (read: the Frenchies, they're suckers for red wine).
Officials said the low-speed crash did not damage the vessels' nuclear reactors or missiles or cause radiation to leak. But anti-nuclear groups said it was still a frightening reminder of the risks posed by submarines prowling the oceans powered by radioactive material and bristling with nuclear weapons.
France said that Le Triomphant suffered damage to a sonar dome -- where navigation and detection equipment is stored -- and limped home to its base on L'Ile Longue on France's western tip. HMS Vanguard returned to a submarine base in Scotland with visible dents and scrapes, the BBC reported.
Just as I feared, they're making these stealth subs too stealthy. Next thing you know somebody's going to run into the Lock Ness Monster and kill poor Nessy. And, when it happens (and it will), we will finally know the truth: how delicious is monster BBQ?
British, French nuclear subs collide in Atlantic [yahoonews]
Thanks to Totex, who once caught a nuclear sub trying to sneak up the drain into his bathtub. And to Kyle, who once called Poseidon a bitch and lived to tell about it.
Reader Comments
1. hubbard - February 17, 2009 11:58 AM
first!
2. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - February 17, 2009 12:03 PM
I have no issue communicating without the use of profanity. Quite frankly, the english language offers much more colorful adjectives. The point being made is simply that in this country, where this blog is hosted, we have freedom of speech. The same freedom of speech that would protect this blogger (GW) in court. I find it rather disingenuous of him to post NSFW content and genitalia jokes, then censor our comments about them.
Stupid Frenchies should've put down the croissant and moved... damned wussy sub drivers...
3. Ollie Williams - February 17, 2009 12:04 PM
Fire thee miss-als!
..but I'm le tired..
4. Mr. Man - February 17, 2009 12:06 PM
bumping uglies in the deep blue, fags
5. Ollie Williams Is A Pompous F.UCKTARD - February 17, 2009 12:09 PM
@3
You are an unfunny idiot. Kill yourself now and avoid the shame.
6. LSDiesel - February 17, 2009 12:11 PM
And the U.S. sub would represent the traffic cop in this analogy...
7. Joel Thomson - February 17, 2009 12:13 PM
More Submarine Fail: Let's go full speed in uncharted waters!
http://www.nukewatch.com/quarterly/20052summer/coverup.pdf
8. Repentant Sinner - February 17, 2009 12:15 PM
DAMN YOU, NAMOR!!!
9. Daisy - February 17, 2009 12:18 PM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete phgotoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is excactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max rode his Moped to Baja's house to see and hear her new Subwoofer. Unfortunately it was a french sub woofer and kept getting in their way and making them trip over it. It also smelled like urine. They ended up having to dunk it in the deep fat fryer to make it smell like grease, which was an improvement, and then glue it to the floor to keep it in 1 place.
10. Boing - February 17, 2009 12:19 PM
First we have satellites crashing into each other in Orbit, now submarines crashing into each other in the ocean. What's next, planes colliding in mid-air?? This planet is getting too damn crowded.
11. wazmeister - February 17, 2009 12:21 PM
my dad was on one of them, damned scary
12. Milkman - February 17, 2009 12:22 PM
There's a simple solution....
Condoms
Anyway... that sub looks freakishly hruge. I thought it was a small island til I clicked the close up.
13. Kup - February 17, 2009 12:27 PM
It they'd at least use their turn signals, or blown their horn like they're supposed to , none of this woulda happened!!!!
14. Moose Knuckle - February 17, 2009 12:32 PM
Did the french sub commander surrender immediately?
15. Kup - February 17, 2009 12:46 PM
@14: excellent!!!
16. naas - February 17, 2009 12:56 PM
I read this on a news ticker last night on my way to G4. I'm glad it didn't happen near home because then I'd care.
@14 Hehe probably, especially since they're notorious for stuff like this -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHn2P7x9hXY
17. Vince Lombardi - February 17, 2009 1:02 PM
@8 and @14 - both good ones.
@13 - A simple side-view mirror and a glance over the shoulder would have prevented this.
Seriously, though, if Tom Clancy is to be believed in "Hunt for Red October," this sort of "Chicken of the (Under) Sea" goes on all the time - just not between two nations who are supposed to be allies. Hunter-killers stalk missile subs, shadowing them, recording their engine noises and whatnot. I guess now that both of the Russkies' subs are out of commission, you gotta stalk someone.
British Sub Commander: "In the name of the Queen, we demand that you open your screen door and give us the Grail!"
French Sub Commander: "I wave my conning tower at you, son of an English seadog! Go away, or I will ram you a second time!"
18. Vince Lombardi - February 17, 2009 1:04 PM
BTW, the sonar dome is located in the bow of the boat - that's the front, for all you nautically impaired - so that means the French ran into the English, not the other way around.
19. Lowlands - February 17, 2009 1:40 PM
Did anybody ever heard about two whales crashing into eachother? They have the superior sonarsystem.
20. Sauron - February 17, 2009 1:46 PM
It must have been a female- and male-submarine.Mating season?
21. vrrmbsbs - February 17, 2009 2:04 PM
Surely you know traditional Scottish terminology? LOCH... loch... oh, excuse me, just a little bit of phlegm.
22. therush - February 17, 2009 2:54 PM
Everyone knows only Germans, Americans and to a lesser extent Russians can operate subs effectively. Britain and France are none of these.
23. blp - February 17, 2009 3:40 PM
shut up #22. Britain invented water and everything that sails in the oceans! We also invented the sky, planes, birds, roads, cars, buses, trains, computers, the internet, telephones, TV, fish, paper, pens, dogs, cats and women's breasts.
24. dougie - February 17, 2009 3:58 PM
It's loch ness, not lock ness, you racist.
p.s #22 has a secret German agenda
25. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - February 17, 2009 4:27 PM
22- But apparently couldn't get a decent dentist? Britain should be renamed to Butt'erGrill
26. Frank - February 17, 2009 4:59 PM
I've been saying it for years...subs need windows!
27. Jennyjenjen - February 17, 2009 5:58 PM
Can somebody explain Daisy to me?
28. formerly SPELLINGNAZI© - February 17, 2009 6:14 PM
It doesn't say if it was a head-on collision or not, only that the French one was damaged. But if it was, and I'm not normally one to stand up for the French, it was the Brits fault. They drive on the wrong side.
This actually happened to me, but with a car in Japan the first time I was here. I got into a head-on collision because I forgot that I was supposed to be on the left side of the road, not the right. I started the accident, but he finished it :p D'oh!
29. Spikey DaPikey - February 18, 2009 6:53 AM
Damn cheese eating surrender monkeys ramming our bloody subs !! Pah
30. Leonidas - February 18, 2009 9:27 AM
Most of these comments ^ remind me of the whole "freedom fries" debacle, when the average IQ of the American dropped to its lowest level ever. There's a liberal in the White House now anyway, so cut the frogs some slack.
31. Tricky Ricky - February 18, 2009 1:45 PM
MARCO !!!...............................................POLO!!!!..................BOOM!!!..Aw Crap Game Over!!..lol
32. sorocen - February 18, 2009 9:25 PM
I still have no idea about what the hell happened there, but have any of you taken in consideration the possibility that the crash was intentional?.
Let me explain myself.
The navy will NEVER punish the commander of a ship because he/she impossed the naval supremacy of their nation in the ocean. And that´s pretty much the same all around the world.
One way to impose your naval supremacy is to make any foreign ship you find in your course, to stand apart.
By making others to stand aside is a way for a captain to show his/her resolve and decission as a leader, to be put aside is like a black stain in your service record.
It could seem foolish, but this kind of incidents are never foolish for the military, because it deals with powerful egos and national prides.
Having a look back at the news of years past, you find out that this kind of incidents between ships of different nations are common, but with the difference that the ships involved were not nuclear submarines, but surface vessels who crashed at the way in/out of a harbour because they wanted to intimidate their counterparts.
33. FreoFreo - February 22, 2009 12:43 AM
I bet the French sub was trying to practice hunt the British sub. When the Brits picked up another sub on their tail, they stopped like a sub should when they are being hunted, and then the unwitting French cruised on ahead and smashed into the British sub.