Feb 18 2009eBay Fear Factor: Pay Some Guy To Follow You Around Dressed Up As A Scary Clown
Here at Anticlown Media we hate clowns. With a passion. Unbridled passion. The kind you make love to a beautiful woman with. Or your hand. But, for those of you that weren't arguably fondled by Binky at your sister's birthday party, you can pay to have some creep dressed as a clown follow you around for three days and scare you.
Afraid of Clowns? Ever see a movie with a creepy clown and get scared to death? Believe it or not, there are people out there who like to be scared. This idea came to me when a friend mentioned they love scary movies and the thrill it gives them. This auction is for a 3 day thrill ride through your greatest fear! ~CLOWNS~!!!! I will dress up as a clown and scare you for 3 days STRAIGHT, everywhere you go, I will follow, dressed as a clown. When you least expect it - BOOM!!! There I'll be to creeper you out! This is something you will only want to experience once. LIVE your SCARIEST MOVIE SCENES! Included in this auction, is my travel expenses to wherever you live to give you 3 days of creepy, clowny excitement! BID NOW AND EXPERIENCE this once in a lifetime Thrill.... Are you Brave Enough? *This is meant for entertainment purposes only, no harm will come to you from this, just scariest thrill of a lifetime! Live a haunted house come to life for 3 entire days.
I'll tell you one thing: if a clown jumps out from behind a telephone pole while I'm walking to work he's gonna get his own size 30 shoved up his ass. Probably by someone tougher than me. Because I'll probably cry and run into traffic.
eBay Auction
Thanks to Jason, who's not afraid to admit he's afraid of clowns and really short people.
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Reader Comments
1. -Lmega5- - February 18, 2009 11:55 AM
first?
2. LSDiesel - February 18, 2009 11:56 AM
So let me get this straight...
3. Lowlands - February 18, 2009 12:01 PM
A clown! *Shudder*
4. Darth - February 18, 2009 12:10 PM
This clown looks like those creatures which i met on planet XYQXLL.This is a low gravitational planet.I was exporting hair care products in that time.
5. Daisy - February 18, 2009 12:12 PM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max stole a surfboard from Tom Hagen risking recrimination from the entire Corleone family.
6. naas - February 18, 2009 12:14 PM
I don't know about a clown following me around, but I'd hire a cyborg or an agent smith to do this instead.
7. Cade Tealeaf - February 18, 2009 12:35 PM
Damn. The bids over. How fun would that be? I wonder if we would have to feed him, though... How many memories would one have if for three days, a clown followed you around and for the rest of a few years the dead clown was rotting in your closet?
8. Kup - February 18, 2009 12:36 PM
I think it'd be much more entertaining to:
1) hire him.
2) have him follow you into your respective town's ghetto,
3) yell: " Get out of here Buffo!!! I dont care that all clowns hate (insert racial epitat here) !!!!.
4) Take graphic photos as Buffo gets his butt kicked by the 'locals'
5) place on youtube
6Watch said youtube video while downing a Colt 40 ouncer.
9. Timbo - February 18, 2009 12:44 PM
I can honestly say I hateclowns...hate.... with the afore mentioned passion.
Anybody here heard about Gacy??? ...No? go look it up.... Creeepyy
10. Harry Balzac - February 18, 2009 12:48 PM
But can you hire him to follow your ex around? or that bully at school?
11. JFreezy - February 18, 2009 12:57 PM
@8,
That's awesome!!
@10,
You took the words right out of my mouth! I would hire him to follow around my ex. I would also tell him she thinks it's even scarier if a clown pees in her open mouth while she sleeps HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
12. Ollie Williams Is A F.UCKING Faggot - February 18, 2009 2:08 PM
@Everyone scared of clowns.
F.UCKING PUSSIES!
13. The_One - February 18, 2009 3:11 PM
wow, 42 bids on this. With a winning bid of 355 dollars. I wonder if the winner realizes that in addition to the 355 they have to pay airfare and 3 days worth of food and or booze.
14. formerly SPELLINGNAZI© - February 18, 2009 4:40 PM
@13: It says included in the auction, not in addition to. Hope Clowny doesn't mind going Greyhound.
15. Pew³ - February 18, 2009 6:12 PM
everything floats
16. judy - February 19, 2009 3:27 AM
I strongly suggest a H ot place
_____M illionaire Ro mances com_____ , Find ri ch true lo ve here.
17. Octopus Pie - February 19, 2009 6:13 AM
Daisy, I'm dissapointed. I was expecting you to include the plot from 'Attack of the Killer Klowns' in your post.
That said, I'd hire this guy to follow my little sis around as long as her boyfriend & I can follow her around with a camera & record the memories.
18. BK - February 19, 2009 10:35 AM
@17
I think Daisy has been watching a lot of Apocalypse Now.
Do you mean Killer Klowns From Outer Space? Like when Chris Titus got molested by a giant elephant shadow puppet and shot to the moon in a circus tent after Dean Wormer was used as a ventriloquist dummy and later pied to death?
I actually got this guy to follow me around, but I was never scared. The squeaky shoes gave him away every time.
19. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - February 19, 2009 12:15 PM
I have no issue communicating without the use of profanity. Quite frankly, the english language offers much more colorful adjectives. The point being made is simply that in this country, where this blog is hosted, we have freedom of speech. The same freedom of speech that would protect this blogger (GW) in court. I find it rather disingenuous of him to post NSFW content and genitalia jokes, then censor our comments about them.
8 & 10 - Exactly. Although I have a best friend who is DEALTHY afraid of clowns, it may be more entertaining to have her followed... Although she wouldn't ever speak to me again. Still might be worth it.
20. lala0428 - February 19, 2009 5:27 PM
I HATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTE clowns!
21. lizardlips - February 20, 2009 9:29 AM
Clown. Will. Eat. Me.
22. zoe-claire - February 12, 2010 4:38 AM
wat is rong with u peepl clowns are awsome and i would definatly pay to have a relitive stalked by one for 3 days
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