If there's one thing my grandpappy taught me it's how to make gin in the bathtub. And, if there's another, it's how to bury your money in coffee cans. So he would probably scoff at paying $20 for the Backyard Safari Underground Time Capsule. And, to make matters worse, you're only supposed to bury the POS six inches under the ground so you can still fill it with more garbage via the fake rock screw-off lid. Hey kids, I've got news for you: if I see a fake rock in your yard, I'm digging that shit up and stealing your G.I. Joes and love letters from Susie Q Heartbreak. And, if it turns out to just be a house key hiding rock, I'm letting myself in and kicking your ass! Happy President's Day!