Feb 14 2009 Real-Life Warhammer 40,000 Rhino Transport

So the creaters of Warhammer went and made a real-life Space Marine Rhino replica to folks excited about the upcoming video game. And, also, to crush the hell out of some little cars. Per my tipster, Sam:

Thought you might be interested in knowing about this, as it was modified from a old WWII British tank to promote the upcoming Warhammer 40000: Dawn of War 2 game that is about a week away from being released.

Nothing really amazing if it was just a normal tank (crushing cars is still cool, but still would be nothing new) but since it was heavily modified into a working replica (mostly) of the Warhammer 40000 Space Marine Rhino transport, it's been an ecstasy trip for 40kiers like me and anyone else seeing one their favorite tabletop franchise coming to life.

Freaking sweet -- I want one. And not just because some jerk broke my passenger side mirror off without leaving a note. No, it's because I want to crush the car that did it -- driver too! With a tank. A Warhammer tank. VROOM VROOM!! This ain't no table-top game, bitch, this is real life!

Youtube

Thanks to Sam, who Wars the Hammer like nobody's biz.

Feb 13 2009 See, This Is Why You're Fat

I'm serious, lay off the Turbaconucken. But it's just so good! *chewing* Hit the jump to see a bunch more delectable treats from thisiswhyyourefat.com that will stop your heart before you can say NOM NO

Continue Reading " See, This Is Why You're Fat "

Feb 13 2009 Geeky Cars: I Can't (Floppy) Drive 55!

While this little gallery of cars undoubtedly showcases some seriously geeky automobiles, I don't know if they're the geekiest. I'd like to think the Zelda-mobile and the AeroCivic would be in the running for top prize. That said, I would still never be caught dead in one of these -- unless my bookie finally finds me. In which case, can a person harvest their own organs? Are ears worth anything?

Hit the jump for the rest.

Continue Reading " Geeky Cars: I Can't (Floppy) Drive 55! "

Feb 13 2009 Don't Try This At Home: Shooting Friend With Black Powder Powered Nerf Projectile

Note: Video contains a little foul language. Sailors, please ignore this warning.

Basically these asshats stuff a suction-cup tipped Nerf projectile into a real gun, pack the thing full of black-powder, and shoot some guy in the gonads. It looks like it hurts. Skip to about 2:30 for the actual shooting to begin. But warning: you may want to cover your own junk with a coffee cup while you watch. Haha, just make sure it's empty first -- MEDIC!

Tip: don't fire a Nerf dart out of a real gun [dvice]

Thanks to Ryan, who once shot a friend in the ass with a blow-dart gun and would have gotten his ass kicked had he not coated the dart in poison frog.

Feb 13 2009 Where's The Gold?: The End Of A Rainbow

This is the end of a rainbow as captured by Jason Erdkamp on his iPhone while traveling down Highway 241 in Orange County, California. Are the leprechauns in the back of that SUV?

But Jason, from the Los Angeles suburb of Lake Forest, said: "There was no pot of gold, but I did win $25 that night on a lottery ticket."

What do you mean "no pot of gold?" How the hell is there no gold? Clearly, it's buried. I'm gonna rent a backhoe and uproot that road. I wanna know where the gold at. I want the gold. Give me the gold. I want the gold.

Photographer captures the end of the rainbow on his iPhone - amazing picture [mirror]

Thanks to Richie-Con-Carnie, who drew the amateur sketch.

Feb 13 2009 I Swear, People Google The Weirdest Things

People really search for the darndest things. Using Google auto-complete, you can see just how screwed up people out there on the web really are. And yes, these are the same people responding to your singles ad. Typing the words in bold will result in the following:

• 883,000,000: Why do I have no friends.
• 7,570,000: Why do I have diarrhea.
• 4,170,000: Why do I have so much discharge.
• 7,120,000: Why do I have to pee so much.
• 230,000,000: Why do I have gas or so much gas.
• 456,000: Why do men have nipples.
• 6,000,000: Why men don't call.
• 8,380,000: Why men lie.
• 4,980,000: I want a new drug.
• 114,000,000: I want a wife.
• 783,000: I have one testicle.
• 21,900,000: I have one more drink.
• 12,400,000: I have three breasts.
• 320,000: I have three testicles.
• 1,580,000: I have three girlfriends.
• 42,300: Why Luke Skywalker is an idiot.
• 1,610,000: I would like to buy a hamburger.
• 286,000: I would like to extend you an invitation to the pants party.
• 818,000: I think im pregnant.
• 442,000: I hate Indiana Jones 4.

Neat. Now do some Googling of your own and post the funniest results in the comments. And also, a current picture. Are you really as pretty as I imagine?

Google Proves Humanity Is Sick and Sad, Yet Absolutely Hilarious [google]

Feb 13 2009 Batwoman Is Back And Lesbian-er Than Ever

After 30 years, Batwoman is back on the prowl. As a redhead! And a lesbian! YOW YOW!

Billed as a 'lesbian socialite by night and a crime-fighter by later in the night', she replaces Batman, who was himself killed off in a recent issue of Detective Comics, the publication which introduced him to the world back in 1937.

Batwoman - the alter ego of Kathy Kane - is clad in a figure-hugging black outfit and knee-high red stiletto boots. She is the comic's first openly gay superhero.

She was originally invented as a love interest for Batman and first appeared in her present present incarnation two years ago, sparking a slew of publicity about her sexuality. However, her outings to date have been sporadic and this is the first time she will be the lead character in the comic.

Well it's about time. After all, gays are superheroes too. Am I right? Damn yeah I am. Also, I demand a Batwoman movie be made. With kissing, looooots of kissing. Mwah XOXOX kissey mwah mwah XOXOXO kissey kissey. Oh yeah, that's the stuff romance novels are made of.

Holy Smoke! Batwoman makes her comic book comeback as red-headed lesbian [dailymail]

Thanks to Allison, who could whip Batwoman's ass in a catfight, claws down.

Feb 12 2009 Good Times: David After The Divorce

Remember David, the little kid who was high as a kite after going to the dentist? Well this is him 20 years later after going to get a divorce. The video was made by a couple members of the Upright Citizens Brigade theater. I thought it was humorous, but possibly only because I can relate. And now David, I'd like to share with you a passage from my memoir, The GW: Life and Times of an Illustrious Blogger, that may help you through this troubled period.

"...and in my hour of darkness I approached The Superficial Writer with my problems. Prophetically, he spoke, "Lap dances. As many as you can get before they catch on." Then, stuffing a stack of photocopied $20's in my jacket pocket, he sent me on my way.

Later that night, as I entered The Cat Box for the first time, I felt a lightness about me -- as if a giant weight bitch had been lifted from my shoulders..."

Like that? Well stay tuned for Chapter 6: Getting Tested. The GW: Life and Times of an Illustrious Blogger hits book shelves this fall.

If that video wasn't your cup of tea hit the jump for the David After The Dentist Remix as well as Chad Vader After The Dentist.

Continue Reading " Good Times: David After The Divorce "

Feb 12 2009 Woops: Two Satellites Crash Into Each Other

Two satellites in earth's orbit recently crashed into each other and caused a huge mess. "Cleanup in outerspace aisle 4!" Great, right when I was about to get off too.

In an unprecedented space collision, a commercial Iridium communications satellite and a defunct Russian satellite ran into each other Tuesday above northern Siberia, creating a cloud of wreckage, officials said today.

"As of about 12 hours ago, I think the head count was up (to around) 600 pieces," Carey told CBS News late today. "It's going to take about two days before we get a solid picture of what the debris fields look like. But you, I think, can imply that the majority of that should be probably along the same line as the original orbits."

Lovely, more space junk for me to run into in my rocket ship when I finally blast the hell out of here. And if you're having trouble understanding how two satellites could accidentally run into each other, just look at the image above, which is a rendering showing some of the 18,000 objects that are being tracked in earth's orbit. With that much stuff floating around, accidents are bound to happen. And speaking of which, Happy Birthday, son!

Two satellites collide in orbit [spaceflightnow]

Thanks to Dr Necropolis and E of R, who both agree this was planned by those devious Ruskies.

Feb 12 2009 Just In Time For Valentine's!: An Ox Is Born With A Heart On Its Head, Named "Heart"

Per the Gospel according to Geekologie:

And before the day of Valentine's, you will be blessed with an ox. And this ox will carry a sign. Of peace and love. And also, deliciousness. Jesus, quick -- water into barbecue sauce!

Hit the jump for another very special Valentine's heart animal.

Continue Reading " Just In Time For Valentine's!: An Ox Is Born With A Heart On Its Head, Named "Heart" "

Feb 12 2009 Music Video: I Never Thought I'd Be On A Boat

NOTE: Video is clean version but still has lots of bleeping out since every other word is a bad one. Watch at full volume.

This is the latest from The Lonely Island, the SNL crew that made a music album. The song, I'm On A Boat, is about being on a boat. Which *yawn* is nothing special if you're a pirate captain like me. Screw your boat, I'm on a ship, bitches.

I'm on a ship, I'm on a ship, I'm on a pirate ship

You best swab my deck or I'll hook that lip
I got cannons -- I got an anchor too
Come pillage with me on the ocean blue

I'm on a ship, I'm on a ship, I'm on a pirate ship
I gots a wooden leg, bitch, I walk with a limp
We gettin' treasure -- and that booty too
I pop my pistol "YAAAAR!", while I'm aiming at you

And that, my friends, is how it's done. Now where do I sign for the record deal?

Clean Version [youtube]
and
Uncensored Version

Thanks to Jon, who is more than welcome to come sail away with me, Styx style.

Feb 12 2009 The Universe Is Apparently A Big Metal Donut

And all along I thought was a little plastic danish. Shows you how much I know (read: everything). So yeah, ghost of Karl Sagan: I know you're reading this, feel free to chime in and back me up whenever you want.

At first, this polished object looks like an ordinary ring. But it's much more than that. This is a model of the universe, which, according to one increasingly popular theory, is not flat, circular, spherical or saddle-shaped, but more like a "3-torus," or doughnut shape. It's also a whole lot bigger then you may have imagined.

Look closer, and you'll notice a minuscule speck on this model. It looks like a tiny flaw at first, but upon closer inspection, you'll see it's a precise wine glass shape. That's us. The tiny area depicts the known universe, showing a timeline of its entire life, from the Big Bang starting at the glass's stem, expanding to where we live today.

I get it -- so what they're saying is that the known universe is a wine lover. So do you think it's a Merlot fan or more of a Chardonnay kind of universe? Mad Dog 20/20, huh? Awh yeah, I knew I was living here for good reason! Now stop hogging the bottle, Universe, Jesus you're a boozehound.

Mind-boggling model of the doughnut-shaped universe makes you feel really small [dvice]

Feb 12 2009 Donkey Kong T-Shirt Turns Man Into Ape

Ever wanted to pretend you were an ape? Well you don't need a novelty t-shirt. You just crouch down real low and drag your knuckles on the ground and grunt a whole bunch. That's what I do, and I, my friends, was a gorilla for Halloween one year. The defense rests. Anyway, for a spine-tingling $28 you can get this (probably unlicensed) Donkey Kong t-shirt. And speaking of Donkey Kong, the snow levels in Donkey Kong Country -- ugh! I threw my controller at the TV not once, not twice, but twenty-thrice. SCREW YOU, STUPID SPINNING LAUNCH BARRELS! And, while I'm at it, suck it Zelda II! Wait, was that....blasphemous? Oh my God, what have I done?

Product Site

Thanks to Russell, who needs no excuse to hurl barrels at unsuspecting plumbers.

Feb 12 2009 AaarUrrrhhh, NOM NOM: A Chewbacca Cake

Mădălina went and made her friend a Chewbacca cake for his birthday. As you can see, it looks like a stoned Harry from Harry and the Hendersons caught in the headlights of an oncoming truck. Nice.

Chewbacca Cake [duhlicious]

Thanks to Cap'n Jack, who, despite his name, isn't actually a captain -- he's an admiral.

Feb 11 2009 Different Geeky Takes On The Iconic Obama 'Hope' Poster

Remember the iconic 'Hope' posters used during Obama's presidential campaign? Ha, how could you forget, they're burnt into your retinas the way -- HEY LOOK AT THIS! -- my genitals now are. Well the website obamicon.me has been kicking it for a while, allowing any Tom, Dick, or Jane to make their own inspirational poster and message using a photo they upload. So go make one. Then post a link to it in the comments. But more importantly, hit the jump for a gallery of posters that are way cooler than the one you were going to make. Unless, of course, you were going to make one with a picture of me that says 'DOPE', in which case, yes, I am pretty fly.

Hit it for the galleria.

Continue Reading " Different Geeky Takes On The Iconic Obama 'Hope' Poster "

Feb 11 2009 Oldschool!: Mega Man For The Atari 2600

Is this what Mega Man would look like played on an Atari 2600? Yes, yes it is. And if you doubt it you can take the issue up with my fis--POW! He said you're wrong. What's that? Oh, and that your nose is bleeding.

Youtube

Thanks to Anthony, who claims he beat The Oregon Trail but I suspect he actually died of dysentery.

Feb 11 2009 Chinese Death Bus Kills You, Pilfers Organs

Wow. The bus seen here is one of forty in China used as a mobile execution chamber for criminals sentenced to death. And no, it doesn't run over you.

The buses provide a setup for lethal injections, and the acts are carried out on streaming video so local authorities can observe and ensure that everything is done legally.

Critics say that the buses help the government secretly harvest organs to sell to the west, as there's already a doctor on hand to administer the injection and they never show the bodies between execution and cremation.

The government is secretly harvesting criminal's organs for sale to the west? Wow, that is freaking wrong. China, get with the program, that shit ain't right.

China's Death Buses Deliver Executions, Organ Harvesting On the Go [gizmodo]

Psst. Over here. Looking for a liver.

Thanks to Hector, who doesn't ride the bus because he bought a car. Nice, Hector, wanna scoop me and go to the mall?

Feb 11 2009 Pfft, Stitches, How About A Little PEW PEW?

In an attempt to prove that not all PEWs are bad PEWs, doctors at Tel Aviv University have developed a laser that is capable of sealing wounds safer and more efficiently than traditional stitches.

The laser allows a wound to be welded shut as opposed to sutured, which makes it far more watertight and there's less tearing. It's done by very carefully controlling the temperature of the beam, and Israeli patients treated with the laser have already enjoyed faster healing times and less scarring.

Cool, but can it still blind you if you stare at it too long? And, if not, can you make me one that can? The bully that lives across the street threw a rock at me when we got off the bus yesterday, and I want to burn his eyes out. Also, his older sister is hot. I want to see her naked. PEW PEW?

Hit the jump for a video of the PEW in action.

Continue Reading " Pfft, Stitches, How About A Little PEW PEW? "

Feb 11 2009 Finally, Zelda II Has Been Translated To Latin

Somebody went and translated all of Zelda II into Latin for the three people out there that might actually play it that way. They also did the original Zelda and Final Fantasy VI. Whee. As many of you may know, Zelda II is a sore subject for me because it's the only game in the entire series I haven't beat. And believe me, I've tried. I fire that sucker up and play through it at least twice a year AND STILL CAN'T DEFEAT THE LAST PALACE. So, anybody want to come over and beat it for me while I watch? The game too. HIYO!

Hit the jump for some more screenshots of the translated games.

Continue Reading " Finally, Zelda II Has Been Translated To Latin "

Feb 11 2009 Teens Spend Average Of 7.25 Hours Per Month Looking At Adult Content Online

I thought it would be more. Waaaay more.

That equates to 87 hours a year spent surfing for porn. A further hour and 35 minutes is spent looking at dieting and weight loss websites.

The poll revealed teenagers spend at least three hours and 10 minutes a week researching topics for their homework, and another one hour and 40 minutes downloading or listening to music. A further two hours and two minutes is spent looking at clips on YouTube, whilst an hour and 22 minutes is spent scouring NHS direct or other health websites for information about illnesses, puberty and growing pains.

Chat rooms, forums, MSN, and social networking sites such as Facebook also play an important role in the average life of a teenager, who can spend up to nine hours a week chatting to friends and new acquaintances.

Nine hours a week on Facebook? Jesus, what a bunch of rank amateurs. Try nine hours a day. Haha, I just Superpoked you, now Superpoke me back.

Hit the link for a much more in-depth breakdown of how teens piss away their lives online.

Teens spend average of 87 hours a year looking at porn online [dailymail]

Thanks to Skynet, who has apparently become self-aware and is now sending tips. Yikes.

Feb 11 2009 'Invisible' Treehouse Hotel Is Hard To Find

Let's face it, we all want to live in treehouses. Unfortunately, I purchased all the remaining trees on earth, so it looks like you suckers are out of luck. Hey, there's always telephone poles. Also, I will be selling acorns for $1,000 a pop. Anyway, this is a treehouse hotel constructed of mirrored glass by Swedish architectural firm Tham & Videgard Hansson Arkitekter.

It is an old architectural trick used since the invention of mirrored glass: covering buildings with the reflective material and declaring that they blend in with the surroundings. Most architects use it to convince wary citizens that it is OK if their building is tall because it will reflect the sky and nature. The rendering always makes the building disappear, and the reality is always a big clunky mirrored box.

I like it. And not just because I was conceived in a treehouse. Because I wasn't -- I was conceived in the trunk of an Oldsmobile after a drug deal gone horribly wrong. Oh, I'm sorry -- was that too romantic to tell this close to Valentine's?

Hit the jump for schematics of what the inside looks like.

Continue Reading " 'Invisible' Treehouse Hotel Is Hard To Find "

Feb 11 2009 Craft Time: More Custom Painted XBox 360's

We last saw painter ricepuppet's work when he painted the wickedly good looking Domo-kun (that lovable brown man-eating turd) XBox 360. Well now he's back at it, this time with a Hello Kitty 360, and several others. Trying to get your girl into gaming? Try a custom painted XBox 360 from ricepuppet! Trying to get your girl into bed? Try something like "princess, I would rescue you even if it meant searching another castle"*. And, if that doesn't work, "FIRE!!"

Hit the jump for more Kitty, Sonic, Halo, and Chocobo 360's.

*Up to four. Four castles is my limit.

Continue Reading " Craft Time: More Custom Painted XBox 360's "

Feb 10 2009 ZOMG, I'm Bidding: Mr. Miyagi's Stuff On eBay

Pat Morita, best known for portraying Mr. Miyagi in the Karate Kid series, passed away in 2005. And somewhere, in heaven, he's still catching flies with chopsticks. And somewhere, here on earth (Las Vegas, Nevada), his widow is selling his personal effects on eBay. This happens to be a Viking pipe puffed on by Mr. Miyagi himself -- I'm bidding!

YOU ARE BIDDING ON A GREAT PIECE FROM THE ESTATE OF LATE ACTOR PAT MORITA. I AM THE WIDOW AND TRUSTEE OF HIS ESTATE. I HAVE BEEN OFFERING FILM MEMORABILIA. AFTER MANY REQUESTS TO LIST SOME OF HIS PERSONAL EFFECTS I HAVE BEEN DOING SO RECENTLY.

OFFERED HERE IS A GENUINE MEERSCHAUM SMOKING PIPE WITH THE ORIGNAL FELT LINED CASE. THE PIPE WAS USED VERY LITTLE BY MR. MORITA. I PURCHASED IT AS A GIFT TO HIM FOR HIS BIRTHDAY ABOUT 10 YEARS AGO. HE ALWAYS USED TO SAY "THIS IS TOO GOOD TO BE USED" BUT HE ENJOYED IT NEVER THE LESS.

Haha, "enjoyed it never the less" is right. She's talking about that reefer. You know, marijuana. And, in honor of Mr. Miyagi, I am buying this pipe, getting high, and waxing my car. Who's with me? Okay good, you bring the weed and elbow grease.

eBay Auction
and
Mr. Miyagi's other auctions

Thanks to Kyle, who allegedly owns Mr. Miyagi's headband. I'll fight you for it!

Feb 10 2009 New York Comic Con 2009 Cosplay Gallery

Well New York Comic Con took place this last weekend and, surprisingly, a bunch of people showed up dressed as their favorite characters. Apparently it's some new phenomenon called cosplay. I have no idea, but I like it. I posted a bunch of my favorites after the jump (pretty much all the ladies) and I've got to sadly admit: it seems like the quality of talent was lacking compared to other shows. Am I wrong? Who went? I demand answers! And also, any free swag you picked up. I wanna pretend I was there!

Hit it for the gallery of women and links to the even more massive Kotaku galleries.

Continue Reading " New York Comic Con 2009 Cosplay Gallery "

Feb 10 2009 I Want One!: Sony Releases Brand New POS

NOTE: VIDEO AFTER THE JUMP IS VERY NSFW DUE TO IT CONTAINING EVERY BAD WORD KNOWN TO MAN AND SOME KNOWN ONLY TO PIRATES.

This is a parody news report by The Onion about some new Sony product. It's really funny if you love hearing people cuss or hate new technology. It's less funny if you have virginal ears or are watching it at full volume at work with your boss standing behind you. And it's not funny at all if you're Sony's CEO. I thought it was okay, but I watched it on the john while eating ice cream. Play on playa, don't hate.

Continue Reading " I Want One!: Sony Releases Brand New POS "

Feb 10 2009 Boredom: Ever Wanted To Scroll A Mile?

Ever wanted to scroll a mile with your computer mouse? Me neither, which is why I just grabbed the sidebar and dragged it. A mile in less than a second! I must be Mercury, the text messenger of the gods. I want gold shoes. Anway, onemilescroll.com is a website where you can scroll for a whole mile and read about objects and their lengths along the way.

The One Mile Scroll transforms virtual space into an actual, physical distance. Take your computer for a scroll. Participate and add heights of things. Please only add the vertical heights. Be sure to check your measurements (with Google or other service). Once submitted entries can only be modified or deleted by site admin.

I give it less than an hour before "The GW's junk" is added right there beneath ant. And, to whoever does it: I'd like to thank you in advance for your generosity.

One Mile Scroll

Thanks to Momboelitist, who once scrolled 800 miles in a week and lived to tell about it. Unfortunately, he developed carpal tunnel and had to chew his arm off.

Feb 10 2009 Large Hadron Collider Still Not Colliding

Apparently now that the LHC has Google doing its bidding, it's taking it easy and won't become operational anytime soon. Unless September is considered soon, in which case, shit, I won't live to see the finale of LOST.

The Large Hadron Collider could be switched back on in September - a year after it shut down due to a malfunction and several months later than expected.

An investigation into the LHC's problems concluded the initial malfunction was caused by a faulty electrical connection between two of the accelerator's magnets. Cern had also said new protection systems would be added as part of £14m repairs.

It blamed the shutdown on the failure of a single, badly soldered electrical connection in one of its super-cooled magnet sections.

I applaud you, nameless faulty solderer. I just hope you and the other saboteurs have something planned for September, lest we all get sucked into a worm hole and wind up in some alien's petting zoo. Which, I think we can all agree, would -- wait, you think they have dinosaurs?

Hadron Collider relaunch delayed [bbcnews]

Thanks to Richie-Con-Carne, who tastes delicious with Sriracha hot sauce.

Feb 10 2009 It's About Time: How To Convert Your Natural Joystick Into A Functional Atari Controller

NOTE: VIDEO IS PROBABLY NSFW DEPENDING ON HOW YOUR EMPLOYER FEELS ABOUT A GUY TREATING HIS JUNK LIKE AN ATARI JOYSTICK.

Wow, I've seen it all now. And, quite frankly, I'm surprised I didn't see it earlier.

(The Joydick is) a wearable haptic device for controlling video gameplay based on realtime male masturbation. Through the use of a carefully designed strap-on interface, the user's penis is converted into a joystick capable of moving the character onscreen in all four cardinal directions. For games requiring the fire button, a separate ring can be worn which converts hand-strokes into button presses.

Super, so it can move in all four cardinal directions -- but what about the hummingbird directions, huh? I've heard they can fly backwards. BOOM! That was your head exploding from my profoundness. Take the rest of the day off, GW's orders.

Joydick Atari game controller [boingboing]

Thanks to Amanda, Praveen and Stirling, who don't need this because they have the power to enter video games and have sex with the actual characters. Joust, baby, Joust.

Feb 10 2009 Sorry LHC, Google Beat You To It: Street View Van Rips Hole In Space Time Continuum

Ha, and all along we thought the Large Hadron Collider would be our doomsday machine. Little did we know it would actually come in the form of a free candy van outfitted to take pictures of the world's roads. That's right, as evident from these photos, a Google Street View van operating in Missouri has torn the very space time continuum we depend on to make our clocks work. So, what happens now? Your guess is as good as mine. Unless you guessed 'massive orgy', in which case, okay, yours was better.

Google Maps street view rips hole in space-time fabric [neowin]

Thanks to sean, who runs thetechpit and an illegal casino in his basement.

Feb 10 2009 'Immaculate' Prosthetic Aims To Make Fake Limbs More Attractive, They Totally Succeed

The currently conceptual 'Immaculate' prosthetic was designed by Hans Alexander Huseklepp and looks like a robot's arm. Am I running? No, but I am typing this standing up.

The concept "immaculate" from Hans Alexander Huseklepp explores the idea of turning a handicap into a high-performance, cybernetic fashion statement. The neurological prosthetic is clad in technology-packed corian plates with dome-joints that offer a larger degree of freedom than that motherly-issued arm of yours.

Hey, anything that makes a prosthetic more efficient and those wearing them feel better is alright in my book. I just wish they came with a wood veneer option. What can I say -- I'm a pirate at heart. A really classy one who wears a monocle over his eyepatch. YAAAR, anyone for tea?

Hit the jump for one more picture sans model.

Continue Reading " 'Immaculate' Prosthetic Aims To Make Fake Limbs More Attractive, They Totally Succeed "

Feb 9 2009 Make Calls In Private With The Isophone

The Isophone may like a giant waterbug banging your brain, but it's actually a device designed to provide uninterrupted peace and quiet while you're making phone calls.

The Isophone is essentially a telecommunications device providing a service that can be described simply as a meeting of the telephone and the floatation tank. The user wears a helmet that blocks out all peripheral sensory distraction whilst keeping the head above the surface of the water... a space is created for providing a pure, distraction free environment for making a telephone call.

I need one. Like yesterday. Ooh, and a pool. This bathtub just isn't cutting it anymore. *knocking* Damnit -- SHUT UP MOM I'M TRYING TO CONCENTRATE! What's that? Fish sticks for dinner? Hot damn, I'll be out in a sec!

Hit the jump for several more shots of this chick using the device.

Continue Reading " Make Calls In Private With The Isophone "

Feb 9 2009 What Happens When Bird Meets Jet Engine

This is a test demonstrating what happens when a foreign object enters a jet engine before buying it dinner first.

Wide Body, Blade-Out Jet Engine Test. Short video showing what happens when a foreign object such as a large bird is ingested in a jet engine. You don't want to be onboard!!!! The joke during training was that you could ingest a 5 lb. bird at 250 kts.......... or a 250 lb bird at 5 kts. They actually have a "chicken gun" they use to fire the chickens into the engines for these tests.

Oh man, just imagine if -- wait, did that just say chicken gun? I want a chicken gun.

UPDATE: So apparently this isn't the chicken gun test after all. Youtube user dknric is a liar! Just like your parents -- you were adopted.

Youtube

Thanks to Ain, who once sucked a mourning dove into his jetpack's engine and had to crash land in a tree, where he befriended a squirrel. Yay for happy endings!

Feb 9 2009 Ties: Because Your Neck Deserves A Flag

These $25 ties are made out of 100% synthetic materials, feature classic video game scenes, and can be purchased from a tribe of warrior women. Plus, they're absolutely perfect for the tech blogger who wants to pretend he's a businessman. I'll admit it: I love playing dress up. I have three older sisters so I spent much of my youth parading around the house in a dress with makeup caked all over me. Ahh, those were the days. Now I lay around the apartment in my boxers and have to wait for my girlfriend to go to work before I can even put one of her bras on. It's stifling -- and, damnit, she wore my favorite pumps to work today.

Stylish Classic Gaming Ties [ohgizmo]

Feb 9 2009 Cake!: Rocking Out With Your (Wedding) Band

Ed (not Norton) and Ursula (not from The Little Mermaid) recently got married and decided to tie the knot with a Rock Band themed wedding cake. As you can see, it's a not very 3D drum set. Wow -- I hope you stoned the baker, because I would have demanded that thing stand up. But seriously, congratulations couple, and Ed -- you can kiss your fantasy about a life of meaningless sex with groupies goodbye. As the tour bus leaves the arena, a guitar pick falls silently to the asphalt.

Rock Band Is Better with Cake and a Partner [gizmodo]

Feb 9 2009 Desecrate My Childhood: He-Man Re-Imagined

Growing up, I thought He-Man was the perfect guy. He was strong, smart, sexy, and hung around a ragtag group of dudes all day. Does it get any better?* So why artists Alex Leighton and Marko Djurdjevic felt it necessary to re-imagine the hunk is beyond me. Alex sells his very lighthearted, cartooon-y acrylic originals for $45 (examples after the jump), while Marko, well, Marko is obviously depressed. That's his He-Man there.

Man-At-Arms: He-Man -- Skeletor approaches, we must attack!
He-Man: He-who? I need a clean needle.

Hit the jump for a bunch more of the two completely different takes on He-Man and the Masters of My Universe.

*Not unless he mixes a good daiquiri.

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Feb 9 2009 'Sixth Sense' Device Created, Sadly Doesn't Capture The Ghost That Lives In My Closet

The brainiacs at MIT have gone and created a 'sixth sense' device, which is basically a smart phone/camera/projector combo small enough to be worn on your face like my fist. KA-POW! Also, it does stuff, and won't leave you bruised.

The device...can turn any surface into a touch-screen for computing, controlled by simple hand gestures. The gadget can even take photographs if a user frames a scene with his or her hands, or project a watch face with the proper time on a wrist if the user makes a circle there with a finger. The device can recognize items on store shelves, retrieving and projecting information about products or even providing quick signals to let users know which choices suit their tastes.

Other than letting some of you live out your fantasy of looking as cool as Tom Cruise in 'Minority Report' it can really let you connect as a sixth sense device with whatever is in front of you," said MIT researcher Patty Maes.

"It is very much a work in progress. Maybe in ten years we will be here with the ultimate sixth-sense brain implant."

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Brain implants -- that's where I draw the line. There may be nothing but cobwebs, The Golden Girls theme song, and a candy bar wrapper up there, but, damnit, this is my brain we're talking about here. That said, I'll saw my own skull open if it gives me x-ray vision.

MIT researchers make 'sixth sense' gadget [physorg]

Thanks to Ain and Icehawg, who created a 7th sense device but their research was muffled because it was too far ahead of its time.

Feb 9 2009 Invading The Real World!: Fake Parking Tickets Used To Spread Computer Viruses

Hackers operating around Grand Forks, North Dakota (not to be confused with Giant Spoons, South Dakota) have been issuing fake parking tickets in order to get their victims to download viruses from a website.

Drivers found the following message on the yellow ticket on their windscreen: "PARKING VIOLATION This vehicle is in violation of standard parking regulations".

The ticket then instructed drivers to visit a website, where drivers could "view pictures with information about your parking preferences".

Anti-virus firm McAfee says the Vundo Trojan then gets users to install a fake anti-virus scanner.

Listen folks, if you don't want to fall victim to this sort of scam, you need to do what I do: not be a senior citizen.

Parking ticket leads to a virus [bbcnews]

Thanks to Bungo, who doesn't pay parking tickets because they're just a sorry attempt by the man to keep him down.

Feb 9 2009 Awwww: Cat Youth Literally NOM NOMs

This is a video of a kitten literally NOM NOM NOMing its chow. Just listen, particularly around 0:10 and 0:55. Was that not cute? It was. Not as cute as the picture I drew of a panther licking a lion with the words 'Interracial Dating' in a heart, but what is?

This post dedicated to the memories of The Little Man, Jimmy, October, and Tiny.

Youtube

Thanks to Gabby, who likes to take her time and savor every NOM.

Feb 8 2009 Bond Would Be Ashamed: A Lighter Spycam

Ever wanted to covertly record six-hours of the inside of your pants pocket? Well now you can thanks to Ajoka's Real Lighter DVR Lighter Camera Hidden Digital Video Recorder Micro Camera. Jesus, hell of a product title there. The thing costs about $150 wholesale and "discreetly records 640 x 480 or QVGA in AVI format at 30 frames per second and supports microSD up to 8GB. It's got a lithium ion battery for 6 hours of filming and is charged via USB." Interesting, but I've tried smoking before and nope: the girls still run screaming from the locker room.

Cigarette lighter camera shows there's nothing more patriotic than espionage [engadget]

Thanks to Justin, who wasn't really that into Miss Moneypenny but double-oh sixty-nine'd her anyways just to spite Mr. Bond.

Feb 8 2009 Do It Yourself: How To Make Pixel Cookies

This is a chunk of cookie dough made by extruding individual "pixel logs" out of a Play-Doh machine and stacking them to form a design. Flickr user SeattleJonman has a little picture tutorial if you want to see the process, it's pretty basic. Now, if they just tasted like Girl Scout Cookies we'd be in business. The hell yeah business. Any guesses what this particular design is? Here, I'll give you a hint: tape your buttcheeks together.
Hit it to find out.

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