Feb 7 2009 eBay: Vampire Killing Kit Perfect For Bedroom

We've featured a couple other vampire killing kits (not to mention zombie killing ones) here on Geekologie, but I particularly like this one because it's nice and discreet. Typically, it just looks like an old art print (lower right in photo), but slide the front off and TA-DOW -- a mirror, cross, garlic, holy water and stake.

So the next time your suspicious friend who only comes over after dark and stares at your neck is in your room, whip out the mirror from this, and if there is no reflection, you'll be glad the rest of what you need is at your fingertips! Yeah!

I've got news for you: if you whip out that mirror and your lady friend doesn't have a reflection, guess what -- you just had sex with a vampire! High-fives all around! Now stake her.

eBay Auction

Thanks to Mike, who's never killed a vampire but has slayed two dragons.

Feb 7 2009 What Should I Eat?: The Bacon Flowchart

If it's too small click HERE for the full-size version.

This has been floating around the intarwebz for a while now, so you may have already seen it. If you have, good for you -- where was the tip earlier, huh? Exactly, you're a jerk. Now buy me a beer. Wait, I want a liquor drink. A pink one.

Bacon Flowchart [ummyeah]

Thanks to Yopoleo, who chose bacon over Beggin' Strips 3 out of 4 times in a blind taste test.

Feb 7 2009 Doctoral Student Furious After University Throws Out His Collection Of Lizard Dung

Typically, you don't want bags of crap hanging around for too long. But not Daniel Bennett -- he loves that shit! Now he's furious that Leeds University custodians threw away part of his doctoral work -- a 77lb bag of Butaan Lizard dung it took him 7 years to collect.

"Whether it was the largest collection of lizard shit in the world is uncertain, but it certainly contained the only dietary sample from that little-known species Varanus olivaceus, and probably the most complete dietary record of any single population of animals in South East Asia. Its loss left me reeling and altered the course of my life forever."

First of all, Daniel, I don't think "shit" is the proper scientific nomenclature. And secondly, if losing a bag of crap can alter the course of your life forever, well, it's time you take a long, hard look at your life anyways. Just saying, tons of birdshit on my car.

University apologises for lizard dung clear-out [wigantoday]

Thanks to RyanThePerson, who is an actual human and not just shit stacked that high.

Feb 6 2009 Wordle Makes Word Clouds With Your Text

Go HERE to see the full-size version, or hit the link at the bottom.

Wordle make pretty little word cloud pictures with the text or URL you provide.

The clouds give greater prominence to words that appear more frequently in the source text. You can tweak your clouds with different fonts, layouts, and color schemes. The images you create with Wordle are yours to use however you like. You can print them out, or save them to the Wordle gallery to share with your friends.

Nothing super special, but Geekologie loyalist Tangelax was kind enough to make one out of a bunch of recent Geekologie articles. As you can see, it's depressing.

Wordle

Thanks to Tangelax, who once made a word cloud rain letters simply by doing a little dance. Amazing!

Feb 6 2009 True Love: Guy Wakes Up After One Night Stand, Woman Carved Her Name Into His Arm

Oh wow, I thought this sort of thing only happened in romance novels. Apparently Wayne Robinson, went over to Dominque Fisher's house for a little sex after a night of drinking and Valium, and woke up the next morning with her name carved into his arm and a bunch of other cuts. Valium: sleep through anything.

When I woke I was covered in blood. Dominique was snoring. I just had to get out of there. I didn't even wake her to ask what she'd done.'

'I'm scarred for life,' he told The Sun. 'I wish I'd never met her.'

He said: 'I went to her place for sex, not to be tattoed. I can't believe she did this to me and I hate her.

Haha, that's what you get, Wayne. Getting cut is the non-collegiate equivalent of waking up with a giant Sharpie penis on your cheek. That said, don't lie -- you'd hit it again.

Hit the jump for a picture of the couple (both very good looking) and another of the rest of the damage.

Continue Reading " True Love: Guy Wakes Up After One Night Stand, Woman Carved Her Name Into His Arm "

Feb 6 2009 Google Maps Spots God, God Loves Hugs

This is a Google Street View of what is undeniably God reaching out to give a cornfield and 2320 600th Avenue, Hartsburg, Illinois a big, loving hug. Beautiful, God. Now not to criticize or anything, but you want to join me at the gym tonight? I'm doing arms.

God Caught on Google Street View Giving the World a Hug [gizmodo]

Feb 6 2009 9-Year Old Writes Finger Painting iPhone App

Lim Ding Wen is a 9-year old Chinese boy. But not just any Chinese boy, Ding Wen wrote a finger painting iPhone app for his younger siblings.

Lim, who is now fluent in six programming languages, first started using a computer when he was two-years-old, discovered programming aged seven, and has since completed more than 20 programming projects.

His latest application, Doodle Kids, allows users to draw pictures using their fingers and then clear the screen by shaking the iPhone.

Pretty impressive, huh? Not to his father!

"Ding Wen is an above average boy with an interest in computers, especially Apple IIGS and Macs, likes to do programming, and that's it. Doodle Kids is an extremely simple program that can be done by anybody. Everybody can program - if Ding Wen can, so can you," he wrote.

Wow, dad, don't be too proud. "Who, Din Wen? Eh, he's nothing special. And just between you and me -- I think he's retarded. Mother's side of course."

Nine-year-old writes iPhone code [bbcnews]

Thanks to Lisa, who was programming VCRs at four.

Feb 6 2009 Geekologie Reader's Bacon Beerito Recipe

Loyal Geekologie Reader Sheniferous decided to share his Beer Burrito with me. And, since caring means sharing, I decided to pass along the coronary infarction to you. No need to thank me folks, just dig in.

We start off with the secret filling (Geekologie Writer's note: appears to be a rice and vegetable mixture -- Sheniferious, I'm thinking sausage and pepperoni next time), that's swimming in an All-Malt Porter. Then we bake porter-marinated bacon and not only chop it up in to bits for the beerito filling, but then lay two strips in the beerito. The beerito is then wrapped in porter-soaked tortillas, wrapped with two thicker porter-marinated strips of bacon. It's then dipped in beer batter and deep fried. Mmmm...mmm delicious!!!

My goodness, that sounds delectable. I've been living off Kid Cuisines and gin for the better part of a year now, and I've got to admit: marathon runs.

Hit the jump for a couple more and a link to the Flickr gallery.

Continue Reading " Geekologie Reader's Bacon Beerito Recipe "

Feb 6 2009 Moon, Here I Come!: Scientists Succeed In Teleporting Matter A Whole Three Feet

That's right folks, I estimate in a few short months we'll all be able to teleport ourselves to our favorite vacation spots. Or inside a bank vault -- or the women's locker room! The possibilities I'm imagining are staggering, and, for the most part, illegal. Awh yeah -- breaking the law with science!

No one is galaxy-hopping, or even beaming people around, but for the first time, information has been teleported between two separate atoms across a distance of a meter -- about a yard.

In the Jan. 23 issue of the journal Science, the scientists report that, by using their protocol, atom-to-atom teleported information can be recovered with perfect accuracy about 90 percent of the time -- and that figure can be improved.

Well I would hope that figure can be improved. If 1 out of 10 teleporters winds up with their penis for an arm, well, I want a penis arm! Seriously though, I think we can all agree: this is one small step for man, one ironically giant leap for me never having to move again. Tele-beer me!

Hit the link for a much more in-depth article that better explains the science behind teleportation (read: transfer of quantum information).

Scientist Teleport Matter More Than Three Feet [foxnews]

Thanks to Chuck Nunchuck, Marc and Pete, who once teleported themselves to China to ride in a rickshaw.

Feb 6 2009 Joker Ski Masks Perfect For Armed Robbery

This is a $17 ski mask from Amazon that makes you look like the Joker from The Dark Knight. Wear one to scare the hell out of people. Or barbecue in the cold. Perfect for all occasions!*

*Banking Excluded

Hit the jump to see a different, more traditional version that's available.

Continue Reading " Joker Ski Masks Perfect For Armed Robbery "

Feb 6 2009 Whee, More Non-Newtonian Speaker Fun!

I swear, I never get tired of watching non-Newtonian fluid fun. In this case, another 2:1 cornstarch to water concoction (aka oobleck) on a speaker. I really liked it when some of the pieces started diving out of the pool. Screw this sausage pool party, I'm outta heeeeeeeeeere!!

Amazing cornstarch speaker monster: Not as easy at looks [dvice]

Feb 5 2009 Want A Mini-Robot Version Of Yourself?

If you answered yes, I want you to leave your name and address in the comments section, as I'd like to send you some anthrax literature. You will not be saved. But, for the sake of my Pulitzer, I'll report on these devilish little bastards anyway. Available from Little Island for a little over $2,000, the little creeps serve as a VoIP phone so you can talk "face to face" to you family or pets while you're away. But wait, there's a little more!

Unfortunately, the "robot" doesn't appear to actually have many true robot abilities, although it does have a built-in camera to let you check out its surroundings via a connected computer, and it's apparently able to do a few basic tasks like read your RSS feeds or check the weather. The bot is also essentially just a plush PC itself (complete with a 500MHz Geode processor), so there's certainly plenty of opportunity to expand its capabilities for those so inclined.

Oh my God, you're actually considering one aren't you? You are sicker than I expected. And let me tell you, I expected at least a 9 of out 10. And to think, your parents said you'd never be a 10 at anything. You showed them!

Little Island promises to craft you in creepy robot form [engadget]

Thanks to Julian, who had a robot version of himself until it drank his last beer and had to be scrapped.

Feb 5 2009 Get Your Stalk On With Google Maps Latitude

Want to know exactly where your "friends" are at all times? Well now you can, thanks to a Google Maps Mobile (and desktop) feature called Latitude. All you have to do is ask to borrow your "friend's" phone briefly, accept the invitation you discreetly send from your own, and presto: access their GPS coordinates at all times (note: stalkee must have a GPS enabled phone)! Simple as that. Not that I actually did that or anything. Ha, no that's not me in the bushes outside. Pfft, you think there's only one person in the whole world with a "GEEKOLOGIE WRITER" t-shirt? Get real. But seriously, isn't it time for you to slip into something a little more comfortable?

Google Maps Mobile Offer Latitude Feature [ubergizmo]

Thanks to Herb, who I strangely keep running into.

Feb 5 2009 The Pocket Shark: Not Mightier Than A Sword, But Could Still Put An Attacker's Eye Out

The Pocket Shark is a $7 pen that doubles as a weapon thanks to its rugged construction.

For starters, it's made from the glass-reinforced plastic, Grivory, the same tough material we use in our NIGHTSHADE SERIES (of knives), and features walls that are 4 times thicker than similar markers. This means it's built for impact and, in a self-defense emergency it can become an efficient Yawara stick for driving off an attacker. Plus, the screw-top cap will stay in place and won't pop off like a regular marker's cap would when you strike a percussion blow, or when obtaining joint locks or submission holds.

ZOMG! One minute I'm thinking, "yes, that marker does looks sturdy", and next thing you know they're talking about "percussion blows" and "submission holds". Well, I guess as long as the cap doesn't come off while I'm braining some poor sap. Hey, Superficial Writer -- come check out this pen trick I just learned!

UPDATE: Jesus, who the hell brings nunchucks to work?

Pocket Shark Isn't Your Average Marker [ohgizmo]

Thanks to Mikey, who may or may not be a pocket pool shark.

Feb 5 2009 Baby Born With 12 Developed Fingers, Toes

Kamani Hubbard was recently born with 12 fully developed (and functional) fingers and toes. I'm jealous -- I was born with a nubbin next to my left pinky and they cut it off at birth. But the nipple on my back is still there. Nice one, doc.

"It's merely an interesting and beautiful variation rather than a worrisome thing," said Dr. Michael Treece and St. Luke's Hospital Pediatrician. "I would be tempted to leave those fingers in place. I realize children would tease each other over the slightest things, and having extra digits on each hand is more than slight. But imagine what sort of a pianist a 12-fingered person would be. Imagine what sort of a flamenco guitarist. If nothing else, think of their typing skills."

"I just want him to see what greatness will be in store for him," said the baby's proud father.

Greatness, huh -- like being an illustrious blogger? I AM TEH L337 P4WNR OF INTERWEBZ!

A couple more pictures of the mad digits after the jump.

Continue Reading " Baby Born With 12 Developed Fingers, Toes "

Feb 5 2009 Have You Ever Wondered How Much It Would Cost To Build Your Own Death Star? Hint: I Didn't Even Know That Was A Real Number

Let's face it, we all want our own Death Star. But how much would it actually cost to build one, today? Well, a lot. Try 15 septillion dollars. That's $15,602,022,489,829,821,422,840,226! Ladies and gentlemen, we may have to settle for the half-sized model.

(The Death Star has) a volume of 17.16 quadrillion cubic meters. At 1/10 volume, we'll need 1.71 Quadrillion cubic meters of steel, weighing in at 134 quadrillion tonnes. In 2008 steel products, from wire to ingots were selling for an average of $962 per tonne, so our cost of steel alone is $12.95 quintillion.

Now, how about getting that into space? According to the numbers I could find on the internet, it costs around $95 million to ship 1 tonne of materials into space, so that means we'll be cutting NASA a cheque for $12.79 septillion. (Remind me to order larger cheques from the bank please.)

Okay, so if we can cut out NASA we can basically save ourselves $13 septillion, dropping the total cost of a Death Star to a paltry $2 septillion. Now I think that's manageable folks -- so you start sending me your money, and I'll start building a strip club the rocketship.

Check out the first link for a much more in-depth look into all the costs associated with the project.

One Death Star for $15 Septillion? What a deal! [rickgold]
via
One Death Star for $15 Septillion?! [starwarsblog]

Thanks to Adam, who the Force is totally with.

Feb 5 2009 Idiot Tries To Strangle Girlfriend With Wiimote

In the latest of video game-themed attacks, a guy tried to strangle his girlfriend with the cord of a Wiimote. And I'll tell you -- he even LOOKS like the kind of guy that'd try to strangle someone with a video game controller. What a quarter-pound of fail.

An Austin man has been accused of trying to choke his girlfriend with the cord of a Wii video game controller after she became angry that he had eaten all of her Girl Scout cookies, according to an arrest affidavit.

The two struggled until they ended up in the living room, where Alvarez grabbed a Wii controller, according to the affidavit. Alvarado was able to free herself and call 911. Alvarez fled the home but was arrested soon after.

First of all, you don't ever try to strangle a woman, that's pathetic. And secondly, if there's one thing I've learned in life, it's that you never, ever, EVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, come between a woman and her Girl Scout Cookies. You're lucky to be alive, Alvarez, now kill yourself.

Man accused of choking girlfriend with Wii controller [statesman]

Thanks to Jordan, who once tried to choke his roommate with a PS3 controller. The plan was doomed from the start.

Feb 5 2009 Verizon Customer Service Reps Fail At Math

This is a call to Verizon in which neither of the two customer service reps that get on the phone can distinguish the difference between $0.002 and 0.002¢. Thank God that wasn't me, because I would have shot a laserbeam out of my eyes and accidentally killed the cat. No, I don't have a cell phone, so I don't have to worry about incompetent customer service reps. But what I do have to worry about is rats gnawing through my land line. I saw one drag a whole loaf of bread behind the refrigerator!

Youtube
via
Failblog

Thanks to Joel, Chad and Ollie Williams, who once killed a 411 operator for giving them the wrong number to a nudey bar.

Feb 5 2009 Remains Of Giant, Prehistoric Snake Found

The fossilized remains of a monster snake that used to eat the hell out of giant crocodiles and other delicious beasts have been found in Colombia. Also, a mountain of coke. Literally, I climbed it.

The newly discovered type of snake, named Titanoboa in honour of its immense size, was for 10 million years the largest land predator on earth. It weighed 1.25 tonnes (~1.4 tons) and with a length of 45 feet or more it would have been able to take on and eat pretty much any other animal it came across.

He added: "Truly enormous snakes really spark people's imagination, but reality has exceeded the fantasies of Hollywood. The snake that tried to eat Jennifer Lopez in the movie Anaconda is not as big as the one we found."

Well thank God he referenced Anaconda, because otherwise I'd have no idea how big this snake really was. So this thing actually could eat Jennifer Lopez. Is she fat? I have no idea. Who do I look like, The Superficial Writer?

Giant Titanoboa snake ruled the earth after the dinosaurs [timesonline]

Thanks to Daniel, who astutely observed: OMFG. And another Daniel, who had this to add: Mommy.

Feb 4 2009 Bill Gates Releases Swarm Of Mosquitos On Smart People. Surprisingly, I Don't Get Bitten

So apparently Bill Gates released a swarm of mosquitoes on an auditorium filled with smart, rich people (myself excluded) during a TED (Technology, Entertainment, and Design) conference.

Ending malaria is a particular passion of Gates's, whose Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation has spent millions fighting the disease. But he apparently didn't feel like TED attendees were taking the threat seriously. "Not only poor people should experience this," Gates said as he let the bugs loose on his audience, according to Facebook manager Dave Morin. (eBay founder Pierre Omidyar and Twitter CEO Ev Williams confirm the report.)

Nice Bill, the only difference between your mosquitoes and the poor folks' is that theirs are carrying malaria. So that's kind of different. You want to cure malaria you got to give the rich people malaria. *shooting poison dart* Okay, that may have been herpes.

Bill Gates Unleashes Mosquito Swarm [valleywag]

Thanks to Chrissy, who once released a swarm of kickass on some jerk for throwing a spider on her.

Feb 4 2009 Man Vows To Eat Only Bacon For A Month

Mike Nelson (of Mystery Science Theater 3000 fame) has vowed to only eat bacon for the month of February. Why? Because it's delicious. And healthy.

Now for the fine print: "Bacon" shall hereafter refer to the cured and smoked fatty cuts of pork, either back, side or belly. In other words "American bacon". No "Canadian bacon", which is really just lunchmeat. No pork chops. No turkey bacon. No "tofacon" or any such horror. Just bacon.

No condiments allowed. No syrups, or hot sauces, or pureed vegetables in the form of ketchup. No sauces at all. Just nature's finest bacon, all by its dignified self.

I am making allowances for the following beverages: beer, wine, martinis and water. No juices, no V8, nothing that could be construed as "healthy". This is somewhat arbitrary, I grant you, but one bit of madness at a time, is my reasoning.

So far things are going without a hitch on day four, but he'll be dead by mid-month. RIP in advance, Mike.

Bacon Stupidity [rifftrax]

Thanks to Kevin, who once vowed to only eat pastrami for a month. He made it to brunch.

Feb 4 2009 Scientists Invent Longer-Term Sleeping Pill

I don't get it, I put one in my nightcap before bed and I barely slept a wink. Then, just a few minutes ago, I blew a hole in the urinal during a routine bathroom break. WTF?!

sleep forever pill [szymon]

Thanks to Romeo, who one slept 24-hours straight. God, I want to do that.

Feb 4 2009 Pizza Pro 3000: Finally, A Manlier Pizza Cutter

The Pizza Pro 3000 by Fred is a pizza cutter designed to look like a circular saw. That way, you can feel like a real toughass instead of a guy who just baked a frozen pizza for his Friday night Friends marathon. That Chandler, what a nut.

Pizza Pro 3000 Circular Saw [nerdapproved]

Thanks to Michael, who cuts his pizza the way God intended: with Paul Bunyon's axe.

Continue Reading " Pizza Pro 3000: Finally, A Manlier Pizza Cutter "

Feb 4 2009 Clever: Video Games As Classic Book Covers

This is a bunch of video game covers in the style of classic books. They were very cleverly made. I posted some more of my favorites after the jump, along with the link to an even larger gallery. So go check them out. Then, check me out. Can you tell I'm flexing? Because I'm not, I'm naturally this muscular. Steroids, folks, they made my penis disappear.

Hit it for a bunch more.

Continue Reading " Clever: Video Games As Classic Book Covers "

Feb 4 2009 Lightning Hits Cow, Cow Lives To Moo About It

The cow featured here, who we will refer to as "Well Done", was struck by lightning and lived to chew grass and moo about it, which is apparently rare.

When lightning hits the ground, current flows through the earth in a wide area around the point of impact. This is how a lightning strike can kill a field full of cows - the long wheelbase of the average cow means that a nearby strike induces a significant potential difference across the ground spanned by the cow's front and back legs; current flows through cow, cow dies.

For those of you who aren't science-minded, let me break that down in layman's terms: basically lightning strikes a cow, and makes it delicious. I smell barbecue! Or a cow on fire, same difference.

The path lightning takes through a cow [tywkiwdbi]

Thanks to towhee monster, who attracts lightning like she does men -- with witchcraft.

Feb 4 2009 Klingon Robs 7-11 With Traditional Sword

Klingons: they can't be trusted. Proof positive: some mountain-head has been running around Colorado Springs robbing 7-11's with a BetleH, the traditional Klingon sword.

The first robbery was reported at 1:50 a.m., at 145 N Spruce St. The clerk told police a white male in his 20s, wearing a black jacket, blue jeans and wearing a black mask, entered the store with a sword.

A half hour later, police received a call from a 7-Eleven at 2407 N Union Blvd, where a male matching the previous description entered the store with a sword. He also demanded money from the store clerk. The clerk did not give him any money and the suspect left the store on foot.

Both clerks described the weapon as a Star Trek Klingon type sword, called a "BetleH."

Haha, and that highschool guidance counselor said you couldn't land a job based on extensive Star Trek knowledge. Screw you, Ms. Bench, who's laughing now?!

Man Robs Convenience Stores With Klingon Sword [thedenverchannel]

Thanks to Hector, who once robbed an Exxon station with one of their own pump handles.

Feb 4 2009 Mmmm: Sierra Nevada Is Making Bio-Fuel

There was a time in my life when I drank Sierra Nevada like it was my job. Sadly, I was fired. And now the company is making bio-fuel with beer leftovers.

Sierra Nevada, brewer of delicious beers, has purchased a MicroFueler, a contraption that produces ethanol from water, sugar and yeast. Yeast also happens to be a major byproduct of beer fermentation, allowing them to make fuel out of beer leftovers.

Sierra Nevada powers cars with beer leftovers [dvice]

Feb 3 2009 Cute Little Kid After Drugs At The Dentist

This is a video of David in the car after being gassed to have a tooth pulled. It almost made me want a child of my own until I realized you can't keep the little tykes gassed all the time. Or can you?

UPDATE: You can't. Come back to me little bro!

Youtube

Thanks to Chuck Nunchuck and Aaron, who have never gotten a cavity. Search. Yet.

Feb 3 2009 Wrong #: Cell Phone Explodes, Killing Man

We reported on a 'death by cell phone explosion' last year, but that one turned out to be some guy trying to cover up accidentally killing a coworker. Maybe this one's real. Or maybe somebody else pushed the wrong lever.

A man has died after his mobile phone exploded, severing a major artery in his neck, according to reports.

The man, thought to be a shop assistant in his twenties at a computer shop in Guangzhou, China, died after he put a new battery in his phone. It was believed that he may have just finished charging the battery and had put the phone in his breast pocket when it exploded.

According to the local Chinese daily Shin Min Daily News, the accident happened on January 30 at 7.30pm. An employee at the shop told Chinese media that she heard a loud bang and saw her colleague lying on the floor of the shop in a pool of blood. The employee said the victim had recently changed the battery in his mobile phone.

Jesus, I'm never charging my phone again. So if you want to talk to me, you better call quick, because yesterday was my last charge. Yep, I'm only yelling from here on out. YOU HEAR ME? HONEY, I'M GOING TO BE LATE FOR DINNER!

Man killed by 'exploding mobile phone' [timesonline]

Thanks to Richie-con-carnie, who once cooked a delicious meal on the heat of a burning cellphone.

NOTE: Picture is not related to story. Except it's a picture of a cell phone that exploded. And caught fire.

Feb 3 2009 Japanese Police Use Wii Miis For Suspect ID

As a guy who actually witnessed a hit and run last night, I've got to admit: I should drive more carefully. Now there's probably a picture of my Wii Mii out there posted next to the carcass. Wonderful.

No, really, that is a wanted poster and that is a Mii on it, and that made me laugh so hard I sprained my epiglottis. The Kanagawa kops (Japan) are searching for the Mii, or a someone who looks like it, anyway. The blogs that have posted about this are inconclusive as to whether that is the actual Mii of the actual suspect (to say nothing of how they might have gotten it) or if the cops used the Mii creator to build their composite.

I've seen her! She beat me on Rainbow Road not even a week ago! I threw my controller. It hit the dog. The dog died. Thankfully, my neighbor resuscitated it. Then demanded "a little something for his time". You know what he got? Wii'ed in the nads.

Mii Sought in Hit and Run [kotaku]

Thanks to Julian, whose Wii Mii doesn't associate with lawbreaking lowlifes.

Feb 3 2009 The Last 867-5309 Number For Sale On eBay

'867-5309/Jenny' is a song by Tommy Tutone that will now be stuck in my head for the rest of the day. Great. And allegedly the last 867-5309 telephone number in the US is up for auction -- with current bidding at almost $500,000! Wow!

Phone: (201) 867-5309

This is one of the LAST remaining 867-5309 numbers in service. Receives between 8,000-10,000 Calls Per Year!!

***Many callers have informed me that I'm one of the only remaining 867-5309 numbers in service after attempting every area code in the US.***

Number is registered with Vonage (internet) phone company and is easily transferred with a simple modem that I will mail to you. All of the account transfer details are done easily online.

Works Anywhere in the US !!

You know what other number works anywhere in the US? Mine. Call me. Or, if you have a raspy man-voice, text.

eBay Auction

Thanks to Jason, who can be reached day or night at (555) 972-6465.

Feb 3 2009 Blinkity Blink Blink: Tokyoflash's Heko

Well folks, Valentine's Day is rapidly approaching, and we all know what that means: sitting home alone, sobbing into the bra you stole from your last girlfriend. Alternatively, going out to the bar with the intention of scoring a lonely lady but getting far too drunk and making out with the touchscreen game. God, has it really been a year? Anyway, Tokyoflash's latest: the Heko. Get one for your girlfriend. Then take it back from her when she doesn't wear it. Ah, love.

Hours are presented on the upper screen. The hours three, six, nine and twelve in the same positions as on a clock face. Hours one and two are in between, a combination of lit LEDs show the hour.

Minutes are presented on the center and lower screens. The lower screen shows zero, fifteen, thirty and forty-five minutes in the same position as on a clock face, the LEDs in between show five minutes each. The central screen presents four single minutes, a combination of lit LEDs show the minutes.

Hekos are available now for $109 and come in blue, white, or multi-colored LEDs. Personally, I like the multi, because I'm funky fresh. Okay, funky ripe. I should shower but I want to build up my natural pheromones to attract the ladies. Ladies? RAWR! Haha, pet panther -- sorry about your face.

Hit the jump for several more shots and a link to the product page.

Continue Reading " Blinkity Blink Blink: Tokyoflash's Heko "

Feb 3 2009 Playmobil Toy Founder Dies At 79

Hans Beck, the founder of the German toy manufacturer Playmobil, has passed away. He was 79.

"No horror, no superficial violence, not short-lived trends," was Beck's motto, and some 2.2 billion dolls later, the range is the foundation of the company's prosperity and is exported to 70 nations.

The company grew to a payroll of nearly 3,000 and had sales last year of 452 million euros ($588 million).

I definitely played with Playmobil when I was a kid, and may or may not still stage Playmobil vs LEGO battles. So what if I do? Awesome, that's what.

R.I.P. Hans

Hit the jump for a pretty sweet airport-security Playmobil set I've got my eye on.

Continue Reading " Playmobil Toy Founder Dies At 79 "

Feb 3 2009 It's Elemental: A Periodic Table Duvet

This is a duvet cover that a loving woman made for her chemistry major boyfriend. I think this is the first time I've ever typed duvet. Secretly, I liked it.

You may or may not have seen a post I did back in the fall when I was in the planning stages of making a quilt for my boyfriend for Christmas, featuring the "periodic table of the elements", because he is a Chemistry major, and I thought he'd find it totally epic.

Unfortunately, It became a duvet cover instead of a quilt because of a) time constraints and the fact that I still had gifts for 7 or 8 other people that I was making and b) buying the batting for the inside would have put me $50 over budget instead of just $10 over. (shh, don't tell him.)

Haha, he totally just got told. And also, I want one. I'm gonna don an eyepatch and get my argon under that sucker. Know what I'm saying? You bring the parrot.

Hit the jump for several more of the construction.

Continue Reading " It's Elemental: A Periodic Table Duvet "

Feb 3 2009 Dinosaurs Running Loose In Indiana

That's right folks, apparently a truckload of raptors got loose in Hamilton County, Indiana, and drivers are being unsurprisingly stupid.

"It's kind of crazy. I'm totally confused," said one motorist. "I'm kind of expecting ... dinosaurs to run down the road, or something."

Only in my dreams, stupid motorist, only in my dreams.

'Raptors Ahead' Sign Gets Stares, Chuckles [theindychannel]

Thanks to Jeff, who got my hopes up and then crushed them like Piggy under a boulder.

Feb 2 2009 'G.I Joe' Super Bowl Spot

The problem with ninjas is you always want more ninja action. As soon as they gave me a little ninja, I just ended up wanting more ninja, even though it's only a 30-second commercial that already has quite a bit of ninja content. My thinking is, if a film has ninjas, why bother with anything non-ninja? That's why I'm always better off watching Lethal Ninja. But anyway:

Continue Reading "'G.I Joe' Super Bowl Spot"

Feb 2 2009 Some Cable Viewers In Arizona Got A Special Adult Film Surprise During The Superbowl

This is a picture of Jesus at the Superbowl. Hey, the man loves facepaint and funny hats. Since he was at the game, he didn't see the porno somebody inserted into the Comcast broadcast of the game in Tucson, Arizona.

With under three minutes left and just after Larry Fitzgerald's heroic comeback(ish) touchdown for the Cardinals, the video feed abruptly switched to a scene from stablemate channel Club Jenna, treating viewers to the sight of seemingly omnipresent porn guy Evan Stone swinging his junk around like a maniac. This interlude lasted about 30 seconds.

Comcast told the Arizona Daily Star that engineers have been "working throughout the night" to figure out what happened, but haven't yet come up with an explanation.

Yeah, wow, I wonder how that happened, Comcast. Definitely gonna have to put your thinking cap on tight to solve this one. Also, I did not post the NSFW video here, but you can see it if you follow the link. I watched it, and, yeah, you can bet your golden ticket I'll be looking for it the next time I enter the curtained mecca at Video Palace.

Prank of the Year: Comcast Tucson Airs Graphic Porn During Super Bowl (NSFW) [gizmodo]

Thanks to Lauren, Louis, Emi and Kokopure, who won't recognize me because I only visit the video store in costume.

Feb 2 2009 'Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen' Super Bowl Spot

I assume most of you watched the Super Bowl last night--there's obviously a huge cross-over between sports fans and fans of complaining incessantly about the quality of a Dragonball adaptation--but in case you didn't, I'll spend some of the day putting up the movie spots that ran during the game. Here's the ad for Transformers 2, which has definitely raised the bar in terms of robot size and number of Transformers that turn into cycloptic robot dogs:

Continue Reading "'Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen' Super Bowl Spot"

Feb 2 2009 What, Why?: A See-Through Glass Pool Table

I don't get it -- I don't need to see my feet while I'm shooting pool. But if you have a foot fetish and some serious coin ($25,150), you can pick up a G1 Glass Top Pool Table. It's freaking glass covered in some patented (and likely cancerous) material called Vitrik that allegedly plays like felt. I don't believe a word of it, but there's a video after the jump so you can draw your own conclusions. And, while you're at it, how about a unicorn for yours truly?

Hit the jump for several more pictures and the video.

Continue Reading " What, Why?: A See-Through Glass Pool Table "

Feb 2 2009 Geekologie Reader Makes Zombie Cake

Geekologie reader Kristen went and made her boyfriend a zombie cake. That was nice of you, Kristen.

The hand was crafted out of newspaper, paper mache and tape. The cake is all chocolate with Oreo crumbles to resemble dirt. My boyfriend's name is Jonathan and he's studying Animation. He keeps the hand at the studio on his desk.

I call the ring finger! Mmmm, papery. Fiber, bitches, what?

Hit the jump for several more pictures, including one of the zombie trying to put the move on Jonathan.

Continue Reading " Geekologie Reader Makes Zombie Cake "

Feb 2 2009 I Ain't Afraid Of No Ghostbuster T-Shirt

This is a $26 t-shirt from 80'stees that makes you look like Dr. Peter Venkman, Ghostbuster. Plus, the slime glows so even in a dark bar people will know you just got slimed. Or had sex with an alien. In which case, high five.

Product Page
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Ghostbusters Uniform T-Shirt [uniquedaily]

Thanks to Victoria, who has the sweetest pair of ghosts you've never seen.

Feb 2 2009 Jurassic Park Here I Come!: Scientists Clone Extinct Species, Dinosaurs Hopefully Next

That happy little camper is a Pyrenean ibex. He's from Narnia. And sadly, he's dead. Along with all the other Pyrenean ibexes. But scientists just cloned one from frozen cells but then it died too. So there aren't any more. Which is a real shame, they look delicious.

Using DNA taken from these skin samples, the scientists were able to replace the genetic material in eggs from domestic goats, to clone a female Pyrenean ibex, or bucardo as they are known. It is the first time an extinct animal has been cloned.

Sadly, the newborn ibex kid died shortly after birth due to physical defects in its lungs. Other cloned animals, including sheep, have been born with similar lung defects.

t has also increased the possibility that it will one day be possible to reproduce long-dead species such as woolly mammoths and even dinosaurs.

Did you read that last bit? I didn't make that up, somebody actually wrote that. Dinosaurs, baby, get excited. Speaking of which, The Geekologie Writer's Heavy-Petting Zoo is currently seeking financial investors. Facebook message me if you're rich. Or want to exchange naked pictures.

Extinct ibex is resurrected by cloning [telegraph]

Thanks to Adam and Mark, who will each receive a free Woolly Mammoth ride.

Feb 2 2009 Good Times: G4's Olivia Munn Jumping Into Chocolate Pie With French Maid Outfit On

Have you always wanted to see Olivia Munn jump into a chocolate pie while dressed like a French maid? Me neither, that's why this video did nothing for me. Especially not at 2:30 and 5:00-5:30.

'AOTS' Hosts, Olivia Munn And Kevin Pereira Dive Into Gigantic Pie! [g4tv]

Thanks to jigga and Barry, who broke into the studio and ate some.

Feb 2 2009 Hey, That's Not A Cube!: Rubik's Balls

Remember the guy that took 26 years to solve a Rubik's cube? Yeah, what a loser. Whenever I'm feeling down I pop in Cheers To You! and think of him. Then I get even more depressed and start binge drinking. Anyway, Professor Erno Rubik is dropping another toy bomb on the world -- the Rubik 360. It looks like it could be fun if it was a little bigger and I was hamster.

Basically, players must get a number of colored balls from a clear inner sphere into their matching slots on the outer sphere. You'll do this by shaking the balls through a middle sphere that has only two holes.

Said Professor Rubik himself on the new puzzle that bears his name: "I feel that the 360 is one of the most innovative and exciting puzzles we've developed since the Cube - adopting elements of my original design, challenging the solver to use skill, dexterity and logic."

I don't get it. Of course, I don't get a lot of things anymore. Like your affection. I thought we had something special :,(

Rubik 360 Will Probably Take That One Guy Another 26 Years to Solve [gizmodo]

Feb 2 2009 Fat Face: Face Slimmer Allegedy Slims Faces

First of all, I predicted the Steelers would win the Super Bowl in a post a couple weeks ago. So I am officially magic. And also, I have a fat face. So thank God for this Japanese face slimmer. It's basically a rubber mask you wear to pretend you're a homicidal cannibal and scare your family. It's similar to binding your feet, except it won't work. If you really want a slim face just man up and use a vice. It works -- I'm so handsome now the dog will play with me.

Japanese face slimmer will definitely not work as advertised [dvice]