Jan 17 2009Stop Confusing Me, Damnit: The TOFU Robot
TOFU is a meat-free robot that looks and acts like a penguin crossed with a Furby crossed with my ex-girlfriend's muff (which I DID see once when I walked in on her in the shower -- score!) Developed at the MIT Media Lab, the little bastard dances to music and has OLED eyes that look eerily sexy. "He's a "squash and stretch" robot, one that uses techniques of social expression employed by 2D animators to give himself some personality." I have no idea what that means but I've killed my fair share of Furbys and, by God, I'll kill a battalion of these little robotic bitches too. But....those eyes....
UPDATE: Humankind, please forgive me, for I have sinned in the most I had-sex-with-a-robot way possible. And, I still have some more reading to do on the subject, but I think I might be pregnant.
Reader Comments
1. shalan - January 17, 2009 4:08 PM
First Bitches... i hate tofu!!
2. Jennaiii - January 17, 2009 4:08 PM
FIIIIIIRST!!!!
3. notsober - January 17, 2009 4:25 PM
Jennaiii: you FAIL ))
4. Daisy - January 17, 2009 4:33 PM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max makes some sausages, and wraps bacon around them. He then deep fries them and dips them in beer batter and deep fries them again.
He serves them with bacon stuffed pork chops, and a small salad.
5. DJ Tough Tofu - January 17, 2009 4:34 PM
For anyone who thinks Tofu is good... YOU are out of your damn mind.
That shit don't taste like nothing. Pweh!
Soy and paper... That's what it is.
6. me - January 17, 2009 5:30 PM
If you want to truly apply the rules of "Squash and Stretch" from animation principles. You would have had to also include the eyes at the very least.
The fact that this thing does a little bit of a squat and a tiny bit of a stretch doesn't do it for me.
7. Thumperchica - January 17, 2009 5:52 PM
OoooEEEEOoooEEEEOooo Killer TOFU!!!
This is... odd... and not all that cool...
8. Pat - January 17, 2009 7:19 PM
It's like he's looking into my soul...
9. DJ Tyrannosaur - January 17, 2009 7:51 PM
OMG GW IS YOUR HAND AS BIG AS YOUR FACE?!?!?1?!?!??!?!?!
That means you're pregnant.
10. lynz - January 18, 2009 1:28 AM
I can't stop watching.
When it looks at the camera I pause it and.... *cries*
11. known - January 18, 2009 10:26 AM
I've mentally recorded this video so the next time I get constipated I can press play, push, squeeze (!?) drop, wipe & run away happy
12. known - January 18, 2009 10:27 AM
I've mentally recorded this video so the next time I get constipated I can press play, push, squeeze (!?) drop, wipe & run away happy
13. Spam Artist - January 18, 2009 12:49 PM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is extremely similar to a scene in the movie Tender Dracula where Dracula's wife runs out of fresh blood and has to create a villagers from tins of powdered tofu.
Leave everything to me!
14. RACY - January 19, 2009 9:32 PM
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15. bob - November 20, 2009 7:44 PM
LAST!