Jan 8 2009New Space Toilet Ready To Drop (!) In 2014
The Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency (JAXA) believe they've solved the age-old problem of how to shit in space.
The current ISS toilet is a Russian-built, western-style commode that sucks waste away like a vacuum cleaner. Use of that toilet requires practice before heading to space, particularly because an improperly seated user has the potential to create a messy situation.
Clean and easy to use, the envisioned space toilet is designed to be worn like a diaper around the astronaut's waist at all times. Sensors detect when the user relieves him or herself, automatically activating a rear-mounted suction unit that draws the waste away from the body through tubes into a separate container. In addition to washing and drying the wearer after each use, the next-generation space toilet will incorporate features that eliminate unwanted sound and odor.
No offense, JAXA, but that sounds a little like overkill. Here's a much simpler and cost effective solution: shit yo pants! Then put them in a bag, and throw them out the nearest air-lock. Extra points for hitting a passing UFO.
Next-generation space toilet ready in five years [pinktentacle
Thanks to abovedefault and Praveen, who don't need vacuum-diapers because they digest everything. That's right, everything. Even gum.
Reader Comments
1. me - January 8, 2009 5:52 PM
first
2. known - January 8, 2009 5:52 PM
never back down bitches!!!
3. Atrides - January 8, 2009 6:15 PM
Considering their comprehensive poop-oriented technological superiority over the rest of the world, it was only a matter of time before Japan invented this.
4. Daisy - January 8, 2009 6:18 PM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max and Baja went to space camp. They made friends with the computer, and let it know how much they wanted to go into space, so it faked a failure and shot them into orbit.
5. I'm a Computer - January 8, 2009 6:20 PM
Yes, these guys are truly poop masters. masters of the pooniverse.
6. DeeplyTroubled - January 8, 2009 6:21 PM
No thanks. I'll pass on the electronic pampers. Where the hell is the artificial gravity already!? There going about this all wrong.
7. known - January 8, 2009 6:26 PM
The translucent bellybutton in the picture looks like little mr. hanky
8. (+.[___]-:-) - January 8, 2009 6:31 PM
Wait, what if the sensors go off and the tubes start sucking, and NEVER STOP?!?!
Sounds like a Penis Enlarger to me.
9. Boost - January 8, 2009 6:32 PM
A robotic diaper that sucks the shit out of your ass?
No thanks.
10. Ollie Williams - January 8, 2009 6:35 PM
They should just donate it to 2girls1cup.com
11. Moose Knuckle - January 8, 2009 6:56 PM
Well helllloooo mister fancy pants!
12. Moose Knuckle - January 8, 2009 6:57 PM
What if you wanna do a cleveland steamer?
13. Moose Knuckle - January 8, 2009 7:01 PM
Wait... it washes and dries? Does it have a mini bidet it shoots at your starfish then a little fan blows on it?
Actually... hmm...
14. C-Basstian - January 8, 2009 7:18 PM
man this thing makes want to take a shit soooo bad
15. Giff - January 8, 2009 7:18 PM
Space deuce!
16. Garlic Jim - January 8, 2009 7:23 PM
I shit on a UFO!
17. Neveragain - January 8, 2009 8:31 PM
"Smith! It's imperative that you adjust the thermocouplers and convert the manifold to the appropri....."
*WHRRRRFFFFFOOOOOSSSHHHHH*
"....What was that? I had to drop a load. Say it one more time."
It would be just lovely having everyone know when you relieved yourself.
Well, I mean, they do now, but at least this way I'll be clean afterward.
18. buzz_clik - January 8, 2009 8:59 PM
I swear, raver clothing get stupider every time I see it...
19. known - January 8, 2009 9:04 PM
#17: hehehehe that was great
20. crazygeek - January 8, 2009 10:28 PM
I swear it wasn't me...oh yeah, I did take a crap about an hour ago, but it is sitting safely in the storage box on my lower back. This should also open up the need for a line of poop harness bling accessories! Man, is that a spinner on your crap computer? Sweet!
21. Franchesca - January 8, 2009 10:29 PM
Pañales espaciales!
22. Gizmoduck - January 8, 2009 10:50 PM
are they really having problems with taking a shit in space?
is it non stop explosive diarrhea attacks?
23. known - January 8, 2009 10:58 PM
There's a restaurant I've eaten at before that could use some of these http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fi5PFI3rMTQ
(unless of course Rudy still works there)
24. Gizmoduck - January 8, 2009 11:10 PM
shits not so cash
25. Ginormagantuan - January 9, 2009 1:18 AM
#21 franchesca..... yeah i know you like buttsecks!
26. Praveen - January 9, 2009 1:35 AM
Awe... i digest rox too.
27. miles661ca - January 9, 2009 3:26 AM
my only issue is this: How is the pucker getting wiped clean? Seriously- there is a lot to be said for a clean button. Right?
28. Uberdork - January 9, 2009 3:35 AM
They'll be having a pretty tough time when they get back here...
:))))
29. Cardii - January 9, 2009 4:25 AM
@27
it will obviously include a mechanical tentacle attachment for the "hard to reach" places
30. TetterkeT - January 9, 2009 7:13 AM
You could not pay me enough money to allow a machine anywhere near my asshole.
31. GInormagatuanuosomundo - January 9, 2009 8:26 AM
LMAO at the tentacle comment.... yeah them japanese love anything w/ tentacles going into body cavities......
32. Thumperchica - January 9, 2009 8:41 AM
To be worn at all times - this thing looks like it would hell to sit/lay down while wearing it... between that and the vacuumimg of the asshole are a NO
33. Uncle Eccoli - January 9, 2009 9:12 AM
Nobody's going to want to use this except the Japanese, who are all sick, sick fetishists, by the way.
34. Tricky Ricky - January 9, 2009 9:48 AM
Ok, I think I know why it's going to take another 5 years to develop it..wonder what the female version looks like? and will a tampon clog the unit?
35. Spam Artist - January 9, 2009 11:15 AM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Tender Dracula where Dracula smoked too many blunts and attached the outlet hose on his space nappy to his helmet.
36. Anita Bath - January 9, 2009 11:15 AM
@27: I concur with 31—watched Urotsukidoji one too many times, eh?
37. Anita Bath - January 9, 2009 11:16 AM
Hehe, I meant 29, but youse knew that.
38. elboroto - January 10, 2009 12:27 AM
That's why serious alien cultures don't make contact with us. Our astronauts are still wearing diapers.
39. Dr. Death - January 11, 2009 2:36 AM
finally the world has boxy shorts where i can shit and watch tv at the same time