Jan 20 2009Guy Gets Arm Replaced Luke Skywalker Style
Evan Reynolds, 19, got his hand and part of his arm ripped off in a car accident and has since been fitted with an i-LIMB, a robotic hand developed by an Apple/Star Wars fanboy.
The i-Limb was developed by a Scottish company, Touch Bionics, and has won awards for its innovative technology. The total cost including the hand itself and the fitting is about £30,000.
"It's so sensitive I can grip a bottle of water or a paper cup without crushing it, and even swing a racket. All I have to so is imagine picking something up or gripping it and the fingers and thumb move automatically."Mr Reynolds said his disability has not stopped him playing sport, his greatest passion, nor has it crushed his spirit.
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for fake arms and shit, but I'd still be pissed if Evan could throw the ball better than me. And that, dear reader, is only one of the thousands of reasons why I'm going to spend eternity in hell with a piece of glowing charcoal in my ass.
Bionic hand gives student new lease of life [telegraph]
Thanks to MoMan, who fears the day his robotic prosthetic turns on him and rips his penis off.
Reader Comments
1. known - January 20, 2009 3:54 PM
I am.... you father
2. known - January 20, 2009 3:55 PM
Amazing technology, stupid name for it
3. Cameron - January 20, 2009 3:59 PM
GOD DAMN YOU, KNOWN
4. Thumperchica - January 20, 2009 4:06 PM
Known, LMAO - I do so enjoy you taking the first spot =)
This is amazing technology.
But will the arm turn on him and choke him to death?
Is his screenname DocOc? Because that would be filled with winnage.
5. Cameron - January 20, 2009 4:11 PM
@4. Thumperchica - Enjoy it while it lasts, because I am going to be FIRST next time.
6. Boing - January 20, 2009 4:15 PM
known, you're making my day!
and I agree with the GW, cyborgs should not be allowed to play competitive sports.
Hey, at least he can give himself a "stranger" whenever he wants, its sensitive enough to avoid crushing his junk!
7. Pepe la PEWPEW - January 20, 2009 4:15 PM
I want one !!! here take my feet I want wheels or pogosticks to replace them .....
8. Elmo - January 20, 2009 4:17 PM
that's the coolest thing ever but.. they call it an i-Limb?? wtf?
9. Jimmy - January 20, 2009 4:23 PM
I'm a little disapointed this is the first time "hand job" has been used as a tag
10. known - January 20, 2009 4:29 PM
#3 I'm tellin you man it's soo easy
#4 Thumper =)
#6 Haha a stranger... Damn I miss those
#7 Rollershoes fused together with antigravity boots
#8 Ditto
#9 I agree
#10 Hi
11. lol - January 20, 2009 4:32 PM
so evan or nathan?
12. Cameron - January 20, 2009 4:37 PM
@10 known - I would have TOTALLY been FIRST!!!! if I hadn't been distracted by the article about the jack hammer at the Inauguration on Onion Network News.
13. Daisy - January 20, 2009 4:41 PM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tel its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max and Baja went to the Del Tacos and tried to grab a taco off the taco makes station befor ehe was done. He chopped their arms off and used the meat to make the new soylant green bacon cheese roll.
14. known - January 20, 2009 4:43 PM
Well Cameron, that's what you get for reading an entire article from the ONN
15. Cameron - January 20, 2009 4:44 PM
@14 known -
Indeed :'-(
16. V - January 20, 2009 4:44 PM
Damn! I want one of those arms... All the things I could do....amazing...
17. Ollie Williams - January 20, 2009 4:45 PM
Can't see the video at work. Does he go on a rampage and tear shit up?
18. known - January 20, 2009 4:46 PM
Daisy I love the bacon cheeseroll almost as much as I love you
19. known - January 20, 2009 4:48 PM
#17 Ollie they took the PC away at Taco Bell? You'll just have to wait until you get home to see
20. Ginormagantuan - January 20, 2009 4:48 PM
But can he jack off into thumperchica's gaping asshole? no he cannot! and since I have the ability to do such thing I say she should let me do that!!!!! Or I will sue SOMEONE!!!!!!!
21. squeehunter - January 20, 2009 4:50 PM
The arm actually called the Luke Arm is far more impressive http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4X_l2XOz8g
22. troygalluzzi - January 20, 2009 4:52 PM
That's awesome, holy crap. FUTUREOMGMOAR!
23. known - January 20, 2009 4:52 PM
#21 ...and doesn't sounds as dorky as the eye-limb
24. Mr. Stratford - January 20, 2009 4:59 PM
Now if I can just think of a way to remove my useless left arm, in a less horrific way than he did.
25. Thumperchica - January 20, 2009 5:27 PM
20 - Please refrain from referring to my asshole as "gaping".
If at all possible for you, please refrain from referring to my... well... anything. *bleh*
thankyouverymuch.
26. Joey Butters - January 20, 2009 6:02 PM
speak english, f***ing foreigner
27. neophile - January 20, 2009 7:32 PM
am I alone in being pissed off at how every bloody invention is now named "i" whatever the f***? seriously, good job apple, it was cool as their thing; but someone has got to come up with another naming device, this is so f***ing lazy!!!!
28. eron - January 20, 2009 8:23 PM
Great... is it suitable for Guitar Hero??
29. Douchie Mc Bagman - January 20, 2009 9:18 PM
It hasn't crushed his spirit, but it will crush his peepee eventually.
30. Jorge - January 20, 2009 9:31 PM
@ 1 known
I'm your father is missing the "whooshhhhhhhhh" That makes the final effect :)
31. formerly SPELLINGNAZI© - January 20, 2009 9:51 PM
If I lose an arm in combat, I want my shit to look like Arnold's in T2...Terminator style! Screw that scrawny pale skin looking stuff, I want shiny endoskeleton one with pistons and servos!
http://machineslikeus.com/images/terminatorArm.jpg
32. avsky - January 20, 2009 10:56 PM
That's awesome! Now every time he masturbates, it'll feel like someone else's hand! Someone give me £30,000 NOW!!
33. matt - January 20, 2009 11:13 PM
best pick up line "it has rotating joints that are replacable." go get em tiger. Now with Nu Skin!
34. weaponx - January 21, 2009 12:46 AM
Hey now, I was born a parapeligic, so I have no leg control. But I still don't like cybernetics.... ROBOT APOCALYPSE.... Give me genetic, human body growth anyday.
35. geluid - January 21, 2009 5:28 AM
Nobody has yet said "What did you expect, mother? I'm a monster!"?
36. Anita Bath - January 21, 2009 5:48 AM
*switches to german Peter Sellers accent* "ze point of ze doomsday device is lost if you don't tell anyvun aboud it—VY YOU KEEP IT A SECRET, EH?!"
37. Pat - January 21, 2009 8:50 AM
Very, very impressive.
38. Goya - January 21, 2009 10:11 AM
Does everything that involves electronics nowadays need to have "i" before it? The i-limb? Are they f***ing serious? At least he put a douchey rubber bracelet around his fake arm!
39. guate6 - January 21, 2009 11:59 AM
Amazing. That looks awesome! Oh the medical breakthroughs...
40. blanket - March 26, 2009 3:50 PM
I ROCK
you suck
i have a fake brain
im a cyborg
i win
you all lost the game