Jan 16 2009Finally, Some Flowcharts I Can Understand: Thank God I'm A Man (And Love Booze)

FIIIRST!

This is funny shyt!

Ha, thank god.

Now my drunken behavior makes sense to me, it was all such a blur until I saw that layout.

Dammit Anita Bath I was starting to like you, don't go firstarded on me

Having said that, what the hell is going on in the toilet with the purple briefs in that third poster?!

Holy crap, these are fairly accurate...

@5 - That's a purse, not panties.

FAKE!!!!

This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.

This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max started coming down from the LSD Pat Sajack slipped into the bacon cheese roll, and started looking for his Moped. As he wandered around town he realized his clothes were terribly stained and his head was full of bruises. He passed a yard where a bacon tuxedo was hanging ont he line and he changed into it. He then hopped onto the back of a flatbed that was driving around a Denny's ad, and finally saw his Moped behind Del Tacos, surrounded by police. He jumped off the truck, and snuck up to the moped under a cardboard box. He yelled out a porthole - Look there he goes, and while the cops were trying to figure out who said it he hopped onto the specially souped up moped and made his way back to Bajas.

@ #5 Having said that, what the hell is going on in the toilet with the purple briefs in that third poster?!

thats her hand bag... Come on men don't you know what women have to do when they have to pee in a dirty bar toilet?

this is priceless..

NBD

the purple parts refer to the problem of where to put your bag. if you hang it, it could get stolen or if you put it on the back of the toilet it could fall in. the middle one would be to try and hold it.

@4: Are you suggesting that you've got the willpower to resist being seduced by the dark side of the first?

Oooo-kay, geez, now I get it. Shows you how accurate these things are…

But how about the one for men on that poster? "Man drinks beer, beer goes into catheter?"

For the pissing diagram they should really have more than one option for the man. For example, when I get drunk I might piss:

- behind/on a building
- on the side of the road
- behind a tree
- in my pants
- on a stranger
- during my field sobriety test
- in the bed
- on a couch
- in a cup
- etc....

Seduced? You mean buttraped by it! Finding the opportunity to hit the 1st comment is easy on this site, especially once you know GW's posting schedule.

SAYING IT tells me you wear a fanny pack & biker shorts, and I don't want to picture that. So - see the light & get that saber labeled '1st' out of your ass before WE stop all this friendly cuddling like Ollie and I have

NBD

@4.... It's a known fact that the number of firsts you get is equal to the size of your penis. I have TONS of firsts. You not so much I guess.... I suppose I can see why you'd be bitter.

.

13- Ok, I'm assuming you're trolling now... That's a urinal you monkey.

Okay, never mind. It's a urinal. I've been at work for 12 hours already, have mercy… never use those damn things anyway, especially the 5-in-a-row ones (shudder).

They should hang these everywhere.

shut up Brian, it's a known fact that your crapping in your pants right now. I'm not bitter sheitzenhozen & I don't care about your boner for your firsts

I love this program btw...

NBD

"Fanny pack"? Ha ha, we call them "moon bags", which sounds absurd now that I've typed it. To borrow a line from Borat: "in my country, fanny means vagina".

Am I the only man alive that thinks beer tastes like pennies dipped in ass?

known has resisted the dark side of the first plenty of times in the last few days. I'm grateful.

And I'm pretty sure the number of firsts you proclaim is more indicative of how big of a dick you ARE, not how big of a dick you HAVE.

@23: Yup, but you need to learn the way of the boilermaker, sunshine. Nice glass of bitters, drop a double shot of bourbon in there, and set the catheter to warp 9…

#23 Only if you frequent eating pennies from your ass. Bah I had to say it sorry. I'm more of a liquor drinker than a beer drinker if that's where you're going, and when it has to be beer it's usually mexican beer

¡nunca atrás hacia abajo!

@26, Liquor does it quicker.
Although, I must say I'm more of a fan of the...illegal substances.

It's also a known fact that I like to drink urine from goats while beating off to pictures of Clay Aiken

haha yeah LSDiesel? I bet you are, but I certainly wouldn't kick you out of my garden if you started chasing the white rabbits around. I can never catch them

Siempre bebalo cerveza de Bélgica, compay. 23, If you dip the penny in the ass, do you get to make a wish?

@29, I don't bother chasing the white rabbits because I know that as the trip progresses, the purple dragon ALWAYS ends up killing them and giving their bodies to the pedophile clergymen.

Set and setting....

#28 The clay aiken part of that is funny, because a lot of people beat off to his picture & that just came outta nowhere hehe

You forgot the geekologie link in my name, and of course to conclude with never back down

@30, only if the Genie has had his coffee. Otherwise, I start to just feel like a piggy bank whore.

All I know is after the last few months of reading Daisy's ridculous and obvious cries for attention had let me to two conclusions...

1> If No Way Out is anything Dasy's as explained it to be I want to see this movie.

2> Daisy... shut the f*** up...

NEVER back down #34. No way out is a fecalfetish porno about Brian, his constipation vs his incontinence AND his inability to not talk about his penis when he posts. While I've only heard disgusting things don't get those 2 mixed up

It's hard not to talk about my penis.... it's a thing of glory to behold. Here's a picture of me laying behind a pile of rocks to prove it:

http://tinyurl.com/7p4cvp

Glorious....

I'm afraid to click the link Brian, but in a completely non-bicurious way I wonder what you've put up there for us to see with all this pride. After that goatse link someone posted yesterday I'm trying to be cautious, you know? Geekologie isn't always this polluted with this sort of smu.... wait yes it is nevermind.

Well since you didn't fight back Brian I'm not going to fight you now, I am sorry about calling you shitpants in german & saying you had a poopyporn out there. I still think saying FIRST is ghey but alas if you must say it you must..

BFF?

24's comment suggests that some of you are sitting in the same office as the GW perhaps. If so, what does he smell like?

Love you, kitten.... we make spoons now?

.

#38 booze, aftershave, dirty bedsheets & on Tuesdays and Thursdays - The dining room of an inner city Subway.

#39 One of my favorite pet names, cuddles

Hell yeah! I love sexism!

Oh man, that bathroom one is priceless...

@13: Ah, if only we could be so lucky...and if only catheters didn't burn so much on the way in! (Don't ask)

lol - i never realized all men drink naked before. puts a new meaning on going out to grab a beer with the guys....

Huh? Men never make complicated decisions? Is that what it's trying to say?

I am a woman and i am disgusted by said chart's choices LOL
seriously, always showed to be so darn pathetic and boring in these sort of jokes.
actually, scratch that... they are stupid everywhere.

@23:no my friend youre not alone.......it's horrible =r