Jan 2 2009D+Caf Strips Detect Amount Of Caffeine In Your Coffee, Ur+In Strips Coming Soon
Some people drink decaf coffee. These people, given normal coffee, will go apeshit, bouncing off the walls and breaking things. Given espresso, they will spontaneously human combust and create a black (coffee) hole that will smell like fresh roasted beans and suck many an oblivious barista into its odoriferous depths. That's why it's important they never drink regular coffee or a Red Bull. To keep the rest of the world safe from these people, somebody developed D+Caf strips.
D+caf test strips are simply little strips of paper coated with antibodies that tell if you a beverage is properly decaffeinated, turning up blue lines if it's got more than 20mg of caffeine per 6oz serving. Even modern decaffeination procedures can't remove every single trace of caffeine, but between 20 and 30 percent of coffee and tea drinks "contain unacceptably high levels of caffeine" according to the strip's maker, Silver Lakes Research.
A box of 20 strips costs $10 and I really wish they were Roof+e strips instead because the Superficial Writer keeps eyeing me salaciously and encouraging me to chug my Appletini.
D+Caf Detects If You're Drinking Real Coffee Instead of Decaf [gizmodo]
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Reader Comments
1. known - January 2, 2009 5:25 PM
roofie strips hehehe..... uh oh
2. Daisy - January 2, 2009 5:46 PM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like the scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max developed bacon test strips in his chenistry class. He sewed them into the drapes in Baja's room, and after sex he wiped his junk off on the drapes. The bacon test strips registered a high pork content. But Max already knew that.
3. Jake - January 2, 2009 6:07 PM
I bought these for my wife who is pregnant and enjoys coffee out occasionally and people still manage to serve her regular coffee (not recommended for pregnant women, esp. any prone to premature birth).
They work fine, the strips can be a little ambiguous at times, but when its fully caffeinated coffee you know pretty quick.
P.S. The picture is funny since they SPECIFICALLY say not to put the strips in anything your going to actually consume (chemicals in the strips are NOT necessarily safe to consume).
4. the Commish - January 2, 2009 6:58 PM
FAIL! This post fails on so many levels. $10 for 20 strips? What a brilliant time to introduce something virtually useless to the population. The economy is in the crapper and unemployment is at record highs.
This is exactly like that time in X-Men when Wolverine had to get Storm to create a tsunami to destroy Magneto's lair so that he could get to the top-secret vault that held the secret to Juan Valdez's coffee that the Professor needed to complete the mutations required to create a new breed of mutant bean farmer that can withstand the strenuous working conditions of the bean fields. Run-on, much?
5. 25 - January 2, 2009 7:58 PM
I FREAKING LOVE YOU, GEEKOLOGIE WRITER!
6. James - January 2, 2009 9:50 PM
"Unacceptably high levels of caffeine" is blasphemous. But that aside, if it's THAT important that you're throwing around words like unacceptable, then just drink something else. I mean if you're THAT caffeine sensitive then you really shouldn't be risking it at all by f***ing around with coffee right?
Drink juice. It's better for you anyway.
7. ...in America! - January 2, 2009 10:28 PM
#3: Well. That's sort of stupid. I thought they were just strips you would dunk to double-check. So I guess you have to put a little bit of the coffee in a creamer container or something and test it from there if you intend to drink it(assuming it's decaf after all.) That's pretty inconvenient ._.
8. lolcat - January 2, 2009 11:15 PM
shooped
9. Sadelis - January 2, 2009 11:20 PM
Since when is there an 'unacceptably high level of caffein' in anything? The shit practically runs through my veins so I'd probably better hide from them. The spriteless bastards would probably want to lynch me.
Plus they'd look pretty weird in a cafe putting little pH strip-esque things into every coffee that passes their silly thin lips. And yeah, they all have thin lips, this I know.
10. hollywood_hillbilly - January 3, 2009 12:49 AM
If I put one of these in my coffee it would probably catch on fire. Of course I drink six short pull shots dropped into a 12 ounce clover with a quarter gram of yap, we are talking about 427 cubic inches of pure caffeinated muscle! Hook that shit up to a mcculloch blower, hurst shift kit and a posi trac rear end, it's like a rocket to the moon.
11. DJ Tyrannosaur - January 3, 2009 12:56 AM
Overpriced.
12. eggs - January 3, 2009 2:27 AM
So... where I come from, it costs more than a cup of coffee. Plus the idea of antibodies in bioassays isn't that exciting. We use it practically everyday, in ELISA, pregnancy test kits etc. Sorry new GW guy, but it's kinda mundane.
13. Darrell - January 3, 2009 7:13 AM
There is actually a great deal LESS caffeine in espresso than there is in regular coffee. To get that extra dark, rich espresso flavor and color, they roast the beans longer ... and roast more of the caffeine OUT of the beans.
So, you know, the caffeine phobic people would actually freak out less from espresso than regular coffee. Just sayin'.
14. Bethany - January 3, 2009 11:28 AM
My first comment EVER. I love this site and cant stop laughing ever time I read it. I love the comment about the supeficial writer. (though I thought it was the same person) maybe.
15. Ollie Williams - January 5, 2009 10:18 AM
Looks like the GW got a thesaurus for Christmas.
16. bob - November 2, 2009 8:18 PM
LAST!