Jan 23 2009Concealed Dork Permit: The Gadget Holster
Oh God, please don't shoot -- with your iPhone! BWHAHHAHAH! Let me guess -- you failed the police academy entrance exam again.
The fashionable e-Volve™ Gadget Shoulder Holster is a new "carry all" shoulder holster that allows you to get all of your personal electronic gadgets off your belt, out of your pockets and into a comfortable shoulder holster.
The e-Volve Gadget Shoulder Holster is designed to "evolve" and adapt to the reality of constant state of change in personal electronics by enabling you to wear your present and future gadgets. This evolutionary capability is achieved by a simple, but functional design of this ergonomic shoulder holster.
I bet it's got a place to store Awethumbs! And it's only 70! F*** a fanny-pack, I want an e-Volve Gadget Shoulder Douche Holster! Watch this little trick -- nothing in my hands right.....BOOM, iPhone! Haha, I'd bet you'd you like to know where it came from -- too bad it's called magic. I'm serious, I had to fellate the sorcerer's apprentice.
Thanks to Atlas Thugged, who done crushed that punk bitch to deaf wif the planet, son.
Reader Comments
1. zak - January 23, 2009 1:57 PM
ninth!
2. butter_toast - January 23, 2009 1:59 PM
fristststst!
3. butter_toast - January 23, 2009 2:00 PM
damn!
4. sharpshooter - January 23, 2009 2:04 PM
this is just the pussy way for men to carry stuff.
real men aren't afraid of the manpurse.
5. WJ - January 23, 2009 2:09 PM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Daisy was playing on her brand new computer and she hit the link which took her to another word where everyone wore a Gadget Shoulder Holster. Once there she was crowned the queen of nerdtopia and never could surf the net or make lame posts on Geekologie again.
TRUE STORY
6. Pew³ - January 23, 2009 2:12 PM
@5 Does WJ stand for whack-job?
Why does this site have so many people that like to virtually poke at poisonous snakes with sticks?
7. Douche McAllister - January 23, 2009 2:14 PM
"I but it's got a place to store Awethumbs! "
I think the GW's got butt on his mind. Kinda like shit for brains.
8. WJ - January 23, 2009 2:15 PM
@Pew³ - Its called a joke now take your 20$ you got from your mom for shoveling the snow and buy yourself a sense of humor.
9. Daisy - January 23, 2009 2:16 PM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max's cousin from Philly was a part time teacher who also tended bar. His wife left him and he took the anger with him and tried out for the philadelphia eagles and made the team. Max told him if he just bitched about it in a blog every day he wouldn't have so many bruises, or have to put on clothes every day.
10. McFeely Smackup - January 23, 2009 2:16 PM
Welcome to 1989.
Shoulder holster man-purses were popular among the urban male population literally 20 years ago.
11. Dr.Known - January 23, 2009 2:18 PM
Yup, dorkwear. Let's bring back pocket protectors, floods and all that other cool shit too
12. Timbo - January 23, 2009 2:23 PM
Look it's got a place for your makeup guys!
13. catch22 - January 23, 2009 2:26 PM
perfect for my "cellphone gun"
14. Thumperchica - January 23, 2009 2:29 PM
I would feel a compulsive need to kick the shit out of anyone wearing one of these under the age of 75.
I wonder if GW blowing the apprentice got him the iPhone or the magic to make it appear out of his ass?
15. Cameron - January 23, 2009 2:33 PM
@6. Pew³ - I rather enjoy poking venomous snakes with a stick non-virtually. Would you like to see a picture of my awesome pet Osage Copperhead? Here is a link:
http://www.cpeebles.com/photography/Agkistrodon_contortrix_phaeogaster/001.jpg
There are six pictures, just change the number at the end of the link (my personal favorite is 006.jpg)
I am quite proud of him. I use him to kill people that wear shoulder packs.
16. BK - January 23, 2009 2:34 PM
Yeah, guy in the picture. Put your hands on your hips just like that. It totally makes you look cooler and draws the attention of the viewer away from your gay 1/2 vest and penis head.
And point the pinky. Point the pinky!
17. Dr. Death - January 23, 2009 2:39 PM
you could throw the iphone and then you would be deadly
18. Dr.Known - January 23, 2009 2:39 PM
#15 Nice snake Cameron. My wife almost stepped on one of those last summer in West Virginia in the middle of nowhere when we were hitting swimming holes all day
19. bar room hero - January 23, 2009 2:40 PM
this is about as bad as the fanny pack...
20. Cameron - January 23, 2009 2:44 PM
@18. Dr.Known - That would have sucked ass, being in the middle of nowhere is not a good place to get bit by a copperhead. They rarely kill people (unless you hold the snake, sneak up behind someone, and use it to bite them in the neck, which is what I do.), but if you don't get medical attention you run the risk of loosing an extremity, such and a hand or foot. Even if you don't loose anything, it's extremely painful.
21. Anita Bath - January 23, 2009 2:53 PM
Can someone please tell me about this video on the right here, with Andre the Giant's sister in it (the Best Buy/Samsung one)? Why is, like, two thirds of it just a still with their stupid logo and tagline?
22. Cameron - January 23, 2009 2:55 PM
@21. Anita Bath - LOL! Andres the Giant's sister... thats f***in' funny. I don't know, I watched that video and it pissed me the f*** off, just live every other Best Buy commercial on TV where they act like they give a f*** about people.
Yeah, that bitch is huge and also quite fugly if I do say so myself.
23. Dr.Known - January 23, 2009 2:56 PM
Yup, glad it didn't happen & the thing looked identical to yours - same size & pattern. I can't & don't even want to imagine a situation where she'd be bitten
24. Cameron - January 23, 2009 2:59 PM
Yep, that would be no fun. Luckily for you (her, rather) copperheads are pretty placid snakes. They try to stay perfectly still hoping you won't see them. Striking is usually a last resort for them, of course, some copperheads just have a bad personality no matter what.
Had it been a cotton mouth (AKA: water moccasin) you guys would have been in trouble. They are extremely aggressive.
25. naas - January 23, 2009 3:00 PM
If you get 2 of these stupid looking shoulderholsters you could shoelace them together and look like you're trying the bulletproof thing or the suicide bomber look.
26. NutellaonToast - January 23, 2009 3:05 PM
I dunno, put a coat over it so that no one can see it and it's a hellofalot less dorky than the f***ers who put that crap on their belt.
Seriously, I got so much shit to carry around this days and no where to put it, I'm thinking of asking a plastic surgeon to rig me up a pocket outta spare flesh.
27. Dr.Known - January 23, 2009 3:05 PM
Thanks for the 411 Cameron <3
28. Cameron - January 23, 2009 3:07 PM
@27. Dr.Known - My pleasure, I love talking about snakes. Especially the one-eyed variety, I personally own one and I have never gotten more satisfaction out of any other pet. I even used it to kill a dog once, long story, it was actually an accident.
29. Cameron - January 23, 2009 3:08 PM
...killed it instantly, thank god my Penis Honey brought it back to life.
30. Amaranth - January 23, 2009 3:38 PM
Great concept but horrible design, if you ran everything will fall out of the pockets. I can see where he got the idea from making this gun holster type of side bag, but he failed to make the loop strap for the belt. Not to mention that these days isn't the brightest idea to wear something that resembles a holster for guns.
31. scatze - January 23, 2009 3:50 PM
That is so freakin' gay...I think gays will not wear it because it is too gay.
32. Anita Bath - January 23, 2009 4:32 PM
Did someone say fanny pack? Known, d'you think I can get my cycling shorts back please?
33. Big O - January 23, 2009 6:14 PM
British Office, anyone?
34. anon - January 23, 2009 11:30 PM
They've been selling these on Think Geek for a couple of years now. They've even got one that looks like Han Solo's blaster holster that performs the same function as this.
35. Tabion - January 24, 2009 2:40 PM
OH MY GOD!! IT'S A PURSE!! RUN!!!
36. matt - January 25, 2009 4:16 PM
watch the movie "Hook" with robin williams he has one in the office scene they been around for a while
37. Drihscol - January 25, 2009 7:12 PM
why dont you just get your wife to sew pockets in your jackets?
38. Korey - August 28, 2009 1:34 AM
There was one of these in the UK version of the office.