Jan 21 2009Beer Hoodie: Look, Bartender -- No Hands!
I've got the feeling this has existed forever, but just in case it hasn't, here it is -- the $36 Beer Pouch Sweatshirt with Hood.
Finally! You can carry around a beer while leaving your hands free to high five a complete stranger in the stands, carry more beer, or operate your hands-free cellphone. The Beer Pouch Sweatshirt is perfect for sporting events, picnics, and really boring offices.
Features a 30 square inch pouch with elastic band and an insulating liner to keep your beer ice cold. The pouch can stretch to accommodate soda cans, bottled water, and even cans of soup and bottles of whipped cream.
Wow, I think that effectively convinced me not to buy one after all. Not that I was going to anyways -- I've already got a beer carrier. Isn't that right, wench? Wench?
NOTICE: Now hiring new beer wench. Must be able to lift 20 lbs, support 190. Large breasts a plus, penis a minus.
Product Page
Thanks to pirhan, who hand-frees beer the old fashioned way, with one of those beer helmets.
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Reader Comments
1. me - January 21, 2009 2:01 PM
first and now own one
2. Ollie Williams - January 21, 2009 2:02 PM
I don't even know how to respond to this, it's that stupid of an idea.
3. First fuck cunt - January 21, 2009 2:06 PM
me, the f***wit who posted first, clearly just sits there pressing refresh. such a sad f***er. Go and suck your dads dick for a change instead of tossing it off in front of this site.
4. Dr.Known - January 21, 2009 2:07 PM
Nice, but it needs to be fitted with a bottle of vodka not beer
5. LSDiesel - January 21, 2009 2:07 PM
I betcha the guy who invented this stole the idea from an alcoholic kangaroo.
6. Douche McAllister - January 21, 2009 2:19 PM
What's with the firsties hate today? It seems every post today has involved some sort of firsties verbal mutilation. Jeez louise guys, give it a rest. They'll never stop. Now.....on to the topic at hand.
WHERE ARE THE FAT f*** SIZES??!!!!?!?!?!?! I like to drink too. Alot. I guess thats why I'm so fat. And drunk. This would be the perfect shirt for me if it only came in whale XXXXLT. I'm tall too. So it really sucks. *sobs*
7. Cameron - January 21, 2009 2:21 PM
"or operate your hands-free cellphone"
Why would you need to have your hands freed up from your beer to operate a HANDS FREE cellphone? That doesn't make a bit of f***ing sense.
If they would have said:
"Fit a beer in each cup holder and one in your beer pouch while operating a vehicle"
it would have made sense.
8. Douche Bag - January 21, 2009 2:27 PM
I'll tell you what's up with the first haters today - they are the reason why forums and comment areas like this are f***ed up. They suck at life and so site in front of their PC all day hitting refresh and annoying people. Stupid f***ers.
9. Hannukah Montana - January 21, 2009 2:27 PM
It probably should come with a long bendy straw or a tube you can suck on to. Just to add from all the laziness. f*** it, I'm getting one.
This is a really brilliant idea, I suppose.
Hmm, I've never thought of that.
10. Dr.Known - January 21, 2009 2:28 PM
^ ^ ^
Good point. The drink holder on this hoodie should be up a little higher too, so when you fall backwards like I do so often from barstools, you can still drink while lying on your back IF the beer isn't already dumping itself down your throat
11. bar room hero - January 21, 2009 2:30 PM
I don't know about this one...
Eh, why not?
12. LSDiesel - January 21, 2009 2:34 PM
@7, Either you're really bad at being sarcastic, or just f***ing stupid.
13. catch22 - January 21, 2009 2:38 PM
not as cool as the good ol' double barrel can holder caps from way back when
14. Cameron - January 21, 2009 3:34 PM
@12. LSDiesel - Probably a little bit of both, but you really didn't have to rub it in.
15. Daisy - January 21, 2009 3:37 PM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake bnecause the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max and Baja got framed for killing a rival gang member. They had to make their way across the city to their home turf or risk being killed by the other gang members.
16. swamp - January 21, 2009 3:49 PM
@5 - lol.
@ 15 - ILU. <3
17. che-che - January 21, 2009 4:21 PM
so if you go to a bar with this you wont be the biggest loser there?
daisy, i love you. i wanna f*** you all night long!
18. no 3 is gay - January 21, 2009 5:02 PM
wow no 3 do you have daddy issues did daddy never let you suck his dick ahhh isn't that cute or maybe just upset to settle for third not first, your the sad f***er mate now run along and play with traffic end your sad little life CUNT
19. Thumperchica - January 21, 2009 5:09 PM
My hands-free beer holder = the guy who bought it... They work as cig lighters too... and if it's cold and things work out right... boob warmers... So, my vote, this hoodie is lame...
20. Lee Frank - January 21, 2009 5:28 PM
I will definitely wear this to family occasions. Need more pockets tho.
21. Dr.Known - January 21, 2009 6:03 PM
#18 hahah that was great, especially when reading it to myself with an enraged UK(?) accent. 1 megabold GFY point for you sir, that bloody wankah had it comin
22. bust it - January 21, 2009 6:04 PM
i bought 'em for the whole fam, party at the double wide! wait'll the rest of the trailer park see's these...
eat your heart out Snuggie!
23. NekoNeko - January 21, 2009 11:41 PM
Those hoodies will be fantastic... until one of the drinkers stumbles and falls directly on top of the bottle, smashing it into their tender midsection. But hey, people dig scars, right?
24. Henrietta - January 22, 2009 6:40 AM
That comes in very handy but they should make 2 pockets in front for wine drinker like myself. One for the glass, another one for the bottle. Yuppie!
25. David - January 22, 2009 10:40 AM
THIS WOULD BE GREAT FOR A FOOTBALL GAME OR CONCERT. GOOD WHEN YOU HAVE TO PULL OUT AND SHOW YOUR TICKET, GOOD WHEN USING YOUR BINOCULARS.
26. Not Me - January 22, 2009 10:46 AM
My sister got me one of these from the miller brewing company a few years ago. I actually use it more as an extra pocket for my cigarettes than actually holding beer, as I'm usually drinking it and not taking it for a walk.
27. Ms. + - January 22, 2009 2:09 PM
|:-V
28. Drunken Heathen - January 23, 2009 6:52 AM
Thumper, I'd love to buy you a beer, light your cigs, and warm your boobs.