This is a Cadbury chocolate commercial featuring two kids with crazy freaking eyebrows. Allegedly the eyebrowery is all real. Is there a gene for that? And, if so, can you clone my childhood dog, I miss her. I'll tell you one thing though, I want to have talented kids like that. The little tykes will make me a small fortune in the freak show.... | More →

This isn't just any ring, it's a special one -- for your penis. Makes the perfect engagement ring for when your member decides to finally tie the knot with Ms. Hand. A stretchy, orgasm-enhancing ring that actually counts your BPM - otherwise known as Bonks Per Minute! Slide the ring over your penis and enjoy a longer, harder erection as well as the fun... | More →

Chia Obama comes in both "determined" and "happy" poses, costs $20, and is probably the worst way to "honor" a president I can think of. Hit the jump for a comparison of the two poses. | More →

First we discovered Lotus Exiges are standard issue for Imperial Stormtroopers, and now that Vader blasts around in a little Ariel Atom. What next, JarJar in a septic truck? Or maybe an Ewok in a fur-covered Caddy with fuzzy dice hanging from the rearview? Oooh -- and a Princess Leia hula girl dancing in the back window. Which, be honest, the thought of just... | More →

I'm pretty sure this is the most homoerotically beautiful thing I've ever seen. WATCH TO THE END. Youtube Thanks to francisco, who once threw his partner 30 feet while tango dancing. She hit a chandelier. And never came down. | More →

Holly Crawford is a 34-year old sadistic dog groomer that decided to pierce the ears, necks, and tails of some cats and sell them as "gothic cats" on the interwebs. After being tipped off by PETA, her home was raided and she was arrested. She defended herself saying that she did not see any difference between piercing a cat and piercing a human. She... | More →

Wow, wait till somebody beats their dog in the head or throws one of these through the TV. Introducing riiflex, a weighted attachment designed for the the Wiiâ„¢ remote. Soon gamers and fitness enthusiasts alike will be able to turn their Wiimote into a weighted dumbbell. Be among the first to receive this innovative product by submitting your reservation for preorder today. * Designed... | More →

Oh God, please don't shoot -- with your iPhone! BWHAHHAHAH! Let me guess -- you failed the police academy entrance exam again. The fashionable e-Volveâ„¢ Gadget Shoulder Holster is a new "carry all" shoulder holster that allows you to get all of your personal electronic gadgets off your belt, out of your pockets and into a comfortable shoulder holster. The e-Volve Gadget Shoulder Holster... | More →

Mmmm, bento: artsy AND delicious. Throw some Zelda up in the mix and, hello, side of lust! This particular box was made by anna the red, who was also responsible for some of the other ridiculous bento we've seen in the past. I first thought of making Link on his boat, but there was too much blue... so I gave up. I love when... | More →

Did I mention it was in the Great Chicago Fire? It was. 2005 Mercedes SLR McLaren, extensive fire damage. It has a lot of usable parts, including: * ENGINE *TRANSMISION *EXHAUST SYSTEM *MOST OF THE FRONT SUSPENSION L+R * FRONT WHEELS * AND MANY OTHER MISCELANIOUS PARTS. Screw it, I'm welding a patio chair to that sucker and calling myself Richy McMoney Burntride. So,... | More →

I remember being super freaking excited about the release of Little Big Planet, but I ended up never buying it because I made my own Sack Boy out of a potpourri sachet and he's about as much fun and odoriferous as I can stand. Well Geekologie reader Kelli made her own Sack Boy as well -- in cake form! I made the cake for... | More →

This video is chock-full of slanderous lies and half-truths about the dangers of texting in an attempt to sell you little plastic thimbles to slip on your thumbs when using your cell phone. I'm only posting it because 1. I can't believe these pieces of shit and 2. I just love hearing the guy say "AWETHUMB!", particularly at 0:22 and the very end. $11.50... | More →

'The Generic Escape Capsule' was fashioned by Australian artist Adam Norton out of an old wardrobe after he discovered it wouldn't transport him to a magical land where he could f*** lions and witches and goat-people. Basically, Adam included everything a person would need to survive a couple days away from the world, should one get tired of their nagging wife/girlfriend or get buried... | More →

This is a picture of an Imperial Stormtrooper driving a Lotus Exige. And you know, it really got me thinking -- why am I hanging with this ragtag bag of dicks in the Rebel Alliance -- these guys don't pay shit. I mean, Jesus, I have to use public transportation. Just saying, I look good in white. Storm Trooper Trades In Speeder Bike For... | More →

Want to build your own giant Atari 2600 controller lamp? No problem -- all it takes is some power tools, a shit-ton of skill, more patience than my girlfriend, and a month of unemployment. It'll totally be worth it though, right? No, it won't be. And yours will probably look like shit. Hit the jump for several more of the finished product, along with... | More →

Kathy White hit her five-month old miniature Sheltie, Ozzy, in the head with a Wiimote when she was bowling with her daughter. Note: she didn't actually throw the remote, she was still holding it. "We had just got the Wii for Christmas," explained owner Kathy White, "so we were trying it out, and that's when Alexis and I were bowling and Ozzy was standing... | More →

A Yoshimoto Cube is actually two separate cubes nested together. The technical terminology for the change is "the transformation of two stellated rhombic dodecahedrons from a cube". Honestly, I just like listening to this guy's voice. It's soothing, like a homicidal maniac's. Youtube Thanks to OJ's Mom, who once transformed a stellated cylinder in his pants into a dodickahardon IN YO FACE!... | More →

Air Guitar Strings cost $3 plus shipping and are an empty package that reads "Air Guitar Strings". Very clever. if you're thinking about buying them, here's an idea: why don't you give me half the money you were gonna pay, then we'll go out back, I'll kick you in the nuts, and we'll call it a day? Hit the jump for the Vegas Vacation... | More →

It's a well-known scientific fact that aliens have a light fetish. So these columns of light seen above the town of Sigulda, Latvia can only mean one thing: they're here. Needless to say, there's a cover-up in effect. But experts are agreed there may be a more prosaic explanation - ice crystals in the air. The air above the town was notably cold and... | More →

Ever wanted to put your own message on one of those portable road signs along the highway? Well now you can with just a little tampering and a whole lot of illegal! Unfortunately, because many children read this website, you'll have to follow the link after the jump to find out how. I'll admit, I gave it a go myself, and it does actually... | More →

Holy crap somebody went and made the gun from Portal. I have absolutely no shame in telling you all I am going to steal the device, and then use it to rob a bank and escape the po-po. Developed by Aperture Science, this Handheld Portal Device is an extremely limited edition (dare I say, one of a kind?) portal generator. Illuminated with blue ad... | More →

MUST WATCH, UNBELIEVABLE ACTION. Wingsuits: just like being a bird, except no bird is dumb enough to do that shit. UPDATE: A cardinal just flew into the window. Superbowl omen!? Vimeo Thanks to The Jerk, Jim and Phil, who don't need to almost die to have a good time, video games are enough.... | More →

Let's face it, we all want our cars to look more like golf balls. But what's a guy to do? Simple, have FastSkinz applied! Fastskinz look dimply and also improve your vehicle's gas mileage. Now I don't really want to go into details (I'll leave that for the quote), but I think it has something to do with dimples being super-cute and a highly... | More →

I've got the feeling this has existed forever, but just in case it hasn't, here it is -- the $36 Beer Pouch Sweatshirt with Hood. Finally! You can carry around a beer while leaving your hands free to high five a complete stranger in the stands, carry more beer, or operate your hands-free cellphone. The Beer Pouch Sweatshirt is perfect for sporting events, picnics,... | More →

Remember Super Mario Land for the Gameboy? Yeah, that shit was hard. Well Flickr user revolvingdork went and laser etched the top of his Eee PC with the entire freaking game. Everything from the familiar layouts of 1-1 to the climactic battle with Tatanga in the clouds at the end of 4-3 is represented in the etching. This was made possible with the laser... | More →

This wooden Vespa was made by woodmaster Carlos Alberto to show off his skills in the art of woodery. The entire exterior was constructed of laminated hardwood and, I've got to admit, it looks pretty damn amazing. But the question remains: is there a cooler form of transportation than a wooden Vespa? And the answer, of course, is yes, all of them. Including hobbling... | More →

We already discovered cats have a penchant for Roombas, but who knew the little fish-loving shit machines love riding subwoofers as well? Not me. But, as is evident from the video, its like an amusement park ride for the little furballs. Toss some catnip into the mix and it'll be just like that time I got high and puked in Space Mountain. Fun! Cat... | More →

This is a completely unlicensed t-shirt from Fuzzy Ink that features a LEGO minifig trying on different heads. It'll set you back $16 if you want one and comes in three color choices: gray. Which head would you wear? I'm leaning towards the one with the eyepatch or the hooker. Oh, now I can't decide. F*** it, I'm wearing them one on top of... | More →

Now you can shoot things with better accuracy thanks to BulletFlight, a $10 application available for the iPhone and iPod Touch. Users can mount their iPod touch to their rifle, and then use the iPod's touch-screen to tap in details about the wind conditions, ammunition type, distance to the intended target and even the wind speed. "Unlike other apps, BulletFlight does not output information... | More →

One day Dale Lyle got a speeding ticket in the mail issued by one of those automatic ticketing cameras. It claimed he was doing 98MPH in his 14-year old Honda Civic, a car he insisted could only do 85MPH max on a downhill slope with a tailwind. So what did he do? He did what any badass would do -- he stuck it to... | More →

Evan Reynolds, 19, got his hand and part of his arm ripped off in a car accident and has since been fitted with an i-LIMB, a robotic hand developed by an Apple/Star Wars fanboy. The i-Limb was developed by a Scottish company, Touch Bionics, and has won awards for its innovative technology. The total cost including the hand itself and the fitting is about... | More →

And I'm not talking about their mouths either! Or assholes. I'm talking hole holes, like, holy shit(!), that cow has a freaking hole in it! These cows have been given a fistula, a hole directly into the stomach that scientists can reach into and study to see how certain foods get digested. Through this kind of work, better food can be concocted and studies... | More →

I know what you're thinking, "holy shit, we have a new president!" And also, "damnit Geekologie Writer, hit me the latest in time-telling devices". Well you got it, son. The Kisai Keisan is the latest in Tokyoflash's wrist flasherdashery. If you can add, you can tell what time it is on the Keisan. Calculate the time with Keisan. Simply touch the button and digits... | More →

Why you'd need a vending machine for a product that only requires hot water and three minutes to be ready for consumption is beyond me. Yet, here it is, a Cup Noodle (I always thought it was Cup-O-Noodles) vending machine. It's small enough to fit on a counter top, and includes a hot water thermos and storage for up to four Cup Noodle bowls... | More →

Looking for a $95 wooden iPhone holder that looks like a hand? Well look no further, you eccentric bastard you, here she blows! This custom hand carved iPhone Holder is one-of-one worldwide! Wow you Apple loving friend with this ultra-exclusive accessory. The precise carving of this iPhone base realistically replicates the human hand. Compatible with Original iPhone and iPhone 3G for a very snug... | More →

Remember the first ninja cat? That was one stealthy bastard, was he not? He was. Well here comes another feline with killer instincts, this one demonstrating a technique for climbing stairs without detection. Now I'm not saying I wish my cats were more ninja-like, but I do wish they'd learn that just because their two front paws are in the litter box, doesn't mean... | More →

The Wall AG is a Swiss company out to solve the problem of homelessness, particularly in third-world countries, with the Universal World House -- a $5,000 paper house. This isn't mere papercraft--the Universal World House is a $5,000, 390-square-foot modular home, outfitted with plumbing and boarding facilities to support up to eight (eight!) residents each. The secret of its construction is its "paper" shell;... | More →

Ever wondered what a keyboard would look like if it had Scrabble tiles for keys? This. Finally, you can sleep at night. This keyboard was commissioned by a couple of friends of mine from back east (NJ) who are avid Scrabble players. Most of the keys are made from real Scrabble tiles that were all hand-beveled (truly an exercise in patience/masochism!) and built onto... | More →

The latest in a string of culinary assaults, Zachary Moir (now to be known as the taco tosser. Or, if he ends up doing time, the taco salad tosser) assaulted his mother with a delicious, meat-filled tortilla. When he refused to stop playing his X-box and come down for dinner, Dena Moir says she went upstairs and unplugged the game, that's when she says... | More →

The 56" Philips Cinema Widescreen LCD is a 21:9 television hitting the streets of selected countries next month. If you want one you can pay an arm and a kidney and watch movies in the proper 21:9 aspect ratio without black barring it. If you don't want one, forget you ever read this and save that precious brain-space for something useful. Like a tv... | More →

The alien apocalypse is upon us! Those other-worldly asslovers have already started sabotaging our power systems, starting with most crippling -- yes, the wind turbines. The facts: The turbine suffered a catastrophic failure at night around the same time many locals reported "glowing spheres" in the sky. The manufacturer says the turbine was built to withstand extreme conditions. And the blade that snapped off... | More →

We've already featured $19,000 and $300,000 turntables here on Geekologie, but what about something for the average guy -- you know, a mid-range record player? Enter the Angelis Labor Gabrielle Turntable. The Gabriel is made from aluminum, bronze and stainless steel and can be customized with up to four arms. Each arm is made in a Modena, Italy, factory that also builds Ferrari parts.... | More →

I'm assuming the picture is all part of a really shitty hoax, but who knows. On January 14, 2009, in an internal Apple memo, Jobs wrote that in the previous week he had "learned that my health-related issues are more complex than I originally thought" and announced a six-month leave of absence until the end of June 2009 to allow him to better focus... | More →