Some adbuster in Berlin (that's Germany, for those of you who failed remedial geography) added a touch of flair to some ads in a subway station featuring Britney Spears and some other wankers by making them look like they were a Photoshop interface. And I think I speak for all of us when I say their work really speaks volumes -- about how ugly... | More →

TOFU is a meat-free robot that looks and acts like a penguin crossed with a Furby crossed with my ex-girlfriend's muff (which I DID see once when I walked in on her in the shower -- score!) Developed at the MIT Media Lab, the little bastard dances to music and has OLED eyes that look eerily sexy. "He's a "squash and stretch" robot, one... | More →

This NES Controller Varsity Jacket is available for $200* from 80'sTees and has a giant freaking NES controller on the back, hence the name. It's only being made in a limited edition of 1,000 and allegedly they're already running out of several sizes, so if you want one, you better act quickly. Same goes for if you want some of this. No, I'm serious... | More →

Remember 'Natalie Dylan', the 22-year old strumpet who's claiming to be a virgin so she can auction off her virginity to your dad? Yeah, well in what appears to be the longest-running auction ever (my last post was in early September), Natalie has allegedly received a $3.7 million dollar bid. Which, I want it to be noted, I wouldn't even pay for a virgin... | More →

NOTE: VIDEO IS PROBABLY NSFW DEPENDING ON HOW YOUR EMPLOYER FEELS ABOUT CONDOM ANIMALS HAVING SEX ALL OVER THE PLACE. This is a Durex commercial that may or not have made it to the air (certainly not in this country) that features arguably homosexual condom rabbits doing it. I kept waiting for one to pop until I realized you probably wouldn't want to advertise... | More →

These are flowcharts made by some beer manufacturer that explain, in simple detail, why you should be thankful you're a man. Because apparently being a woman involves much more complicated decisions. Hit the jump for two more charts, including one that has something to do with shoes. Personally, I only own three pairs: sneakers, dress shoes, and flip-flips. Okay, you got me -- and... | More →

Apparently this Mickey Mouse-Transformer mashup was on display at this week's Tokyo Toy Forum and is being manufactured for sale late next month. The morphing mouse will set you back about 40 pieces of cheese and is perfect for both Disney and Transformer fans. Plus, if you know somebody who's both, you can count it as both their birthday AND Christmas presents. Sure that... | More →

Remember the story earlier in the week about the girl that sent 14,528 text messages in a month? Well, it turns out she's not the only daughter I'd lock in the basement. Emilee Cox, a 14 year old from Clermont, Florida, sent and received 35,463 texts in a single month. Which, granted, were probably only half actually sent messages. But still, get a life.... | More →

This is a video of what the opening sequence of an 8-bit Nintendo Dark Knight game may have looked like. I've heard arguments it's more SNES looking, but whatever, I'm not here to argue, I'm here to pick up vulnerable women. I just ran over your cat, wanna grab some coffee? Youtube Thanks to cool-slayer and Dave, both of whom fight crime without the... | More →

The Gelfin Ear Tip is a brass (not even gold!) piece of jewelry made to insert into an ear piercing so you can look like an idiot. And trust me folks, I'm not saying that to be rude -- I freaking love a good looking elf-ear. This just isn't one of them. And especially not for $260 per ear. You're better off just cutting... | More →

The Cadillac WTF is a conceptual car by designer Loren Kulesus that runs on Thorium, a possible alternative nuclear fuel to uranium. You know, because there's nothing like driving a car packed with radioactive metal to keep you under the speed limit. Just kidding, I'd speed anyways. And glow! Did anybody else think that picture was real at first? No? Me neither then. I... | More →

Remember the Zelda theme played by the guy with the hats? Well this isn't him, it's some other Zelda fan (who, it goes without saying, isn't as big a fan, or asshole, as yours truly) playing the theme to Wind Waker on a guitar, accordion, some glasses, a baking pan, a little drum, two different kinds of skinflute, and maybe some other stuff. And... | More →

Artist YaYa Chou made a chandelier by stringing gummi bears together because, dammit, lamps should be functional AND delicious. Hit the jump for a closeup and a gummi bearskin rug. | More →

LEGOLAND California has a new scene on display from now until Memorial Day -- the 56th Presidential Inauguration featuring Barack Obama and a thousand other plastic figurines that only slightly resemble who they're supposed to! More than one-thousand mini-figures have been created out of thousands of LEGO bricks to be a part of the festivities. Mini-figures include President-elect Obama and his family, Vice President-elect... | More →

This is the plot of the original Star Wars trilogy as told by some chick who has never seen them all the way through and has no idea what the f*** is going on. I highly recommend watching it. Joe Nicolosi, the maker of the film, even added some great animations to spice things up a bit. But thankfully, it's still not too spicy... | More →

Ricardo Montalban and Patrick McGoohan have both passed away. Ricardo was best known for his roles as Mr. Roarke on television's Fantasy Island and as Khan, the best Star Trek villain ever. He was 88. Patrick McGoohan played Number 6 in the 1960's spy/trippy-ass show, The Prisoner. He was 80. Thankfully, I was raised by parents that exposed me to such movies and shows... | More →

It doesn't even have to be 'A Link To The Past' themed. It could be any Zelda, I don't care. I love them all. It took stitcher Servotron four long months to complete this map of the overworld from the SNES classic. As you can see, it's awesome and belongs in a museum. Or shrine -- the Geekologie Writer's Shrine to Zelda And The... | More →

Own a Famicom? Want to own all 1,051 officially released games for less than $7 a pop? Well head on down to the Mandarake Complex in Japan and pick those suckers up for only 650,000 yen ($6,500). Many people who pass by the Mandarake Complex stop for a few minutes, especially with friends or loved ones to reminisce about games they used to own... | More →

I really don't have too much more information on these except they're USB powered boob burners. I think they cost this much: 1,980円. I dunno, they freaking heat your hoo-hoo's, what more do you want from me? Wait a....also, they're a fire hazard. Yes, very dangerous. Funny story, ladies -- I was born with naturally warm hands. And also, a nipple on my back.... | More →

NOTE: VIDEO IS SLIGHTLY NSFW, DUE TO LANGUAGE. This video is so full of win I don't even know where to start. But I'll try. First of all, beating the shit out of a TV with a baseball bat is just awesome. Also, humping it against the wall is cool too. And to make matters even more rad, there's a pair of chicks with... | More →

Want to make sure nobody in the office steals your keyboard? Well how about a Klingon one? This exclusive Klingon language keyboard is based on the best selling G83-6000 series keyboards from Cherry. It is a good quality keyboard with 105 keys, PS/2 connection and is available currently in black. This keyboard will be available for delivery from mid November, but demand for this... | More →

Remember Heath and Deborah Campbell, the two failures at life that named their children Adolph Hitler, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation, and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie? Well, unsurprisingly, they've had their kids removed from the household by the New Jersey's Division of Youth and Family Services because they're freaking idiots and shouldn't have been allowed to breed in the first place. No reason was given for why... | More →

Want to jam out on the guitar and look like you're stroking a giant member at the same time? Yeah, me neither. Unless you said yes first, in which case, DO I! Wangcaster via Time to dumb down the guitar [splicetoday] Thanks to Andrew, who had a Gibson Flying Vagina but set it on fire at a concert.... | More →

You ever wonder what an underground ant colony looks like but were always too afraid the rascally bastards would escape if you bought an ant farm? Well fear not, little girl, that's what nature shows were made for. In this episode, a bunch of assholes pour 10 tons of cement down an ant hole and then dig in the ground around it to show... | More →

It took Graham Parker 26 years to finally solve the Rubik's Cube he bought back in 1983. If you can't tell by the picture, he's really proud of himself. Kind of reminds me of the first time I ate a 72-oz steak and got my picture on the wall. 'I cannot tell you what a relief it was to finally solve it,' the 45-year-old... | More →

The Hamburger bed (which is actually a cheeseburger) is a round bed that looks like a hamburger and has a Facebook fan page. I was going to become a fan, but decided I'd probably end up stalking that delicious bitch and that would bad. So, instead, I'm going to make my own taco bed. UPDATE: So I had this weird dream about being a... | More →

Australia's Queensland state is looking to hire a "Great Barrier Reef Island Caretaker" at a rate of $105,000 (US) for six-months of service. What kind of service? The "island caretaker" would be expected to stroll the white sands, soak up the sun, snorkel the reef, "maybe clean the pool" -- and report to a global audience via weekly blogs, photo diaries and video updates.... | More →

Zelda: I want to do her. And her video games are one of the few reasons I wake up every morning (that and writing for all you lovely people). Anyway, this is an a capella and violin version of the Zelda theme by a guy named Diwa de Leon. This is my own rendition of the themes from Legend of Zelda game composed by... | More →

The UK's Office of Government Commerce (OGC) was recently rebranded by London design firm FHD because governments love pissing away money on things that don't really matter that much. Except this rebranding (and subsequent new logo) was totally worth it! "The proposed version, which you have sent over, has been shared with staff, and is now going through final technical stages. It is true... | More →

This is a water faucet with a shifter. Because, let's face it, regular faucets just aren't fast enough. The shifter controls the volume of water flowing, and is completely unnecessary. Still, it looks cool. It's just not practical. Now put a sink in a car -- THEN we'd be talking. That reminds me, did I ever tell you the one about the hooker I... | More →

A couple of Danish gamers (Danishers), got the SWAT team called because they were playing a first person shooter too loud one night. Thankfully, they weren't rocking any Wiimote-gun mods. As far as we can make out from this report, two young men from Valby near Copenhagen were giving it some stick on a large flatscreen telly with the volume cranked up, prompting residents... | More →

This is a piece of Japanese black theater in which people dressed in all black do a bunch of crazy shit that looks awesome. In this case, reenact some Super Mario action. I highly recommend checking it out. And for those of you that can't watch at videos at work, well, freaking quit already. You're under appreciated anyways. Youtube Thanks to Arran, who did... | More →

Modular plastic god LEGO has "teamed with Digital Blue to bring out a line of digital cameras, PMPs (portable media players), and walkie talkies for children". Dropping sometime this summer, the devices will run $19 - $60 and not be made of actual LEGO blocks. They'll look like it though. And looking, my friends, is half the battle. Touching is the other, trickier half.... | More →

That's right folks, the soon-to-be president is rocking a Wii. And thank goodness too, because in an earlier interview Barack claimed the last video game he'd played was Pong. So yeah, whew. Barack Obama reportedly said he's better at the Wii version of bowling than he was at the real thing while on the campaign trail in Pennsylvania last year. This knowledge is courtesy... | More →

And that, my friends, is why I never leave the house. Youtube Thanks to The free faller, who took one wrong step. | More →

The Real Touch may look like a torture device (and may, in fact, BE a torture device), but is allegedly the latest advancement in solitary male pleasure. Just look at that thing -- reminds me of the time my penis got run over by a Sherman tank. I'm sure it's safe though. After all, it was designed and "thoroughly tested" by a NASA engineer.... | More →

Reina Hardesty, 13, sent 14,528 text messages last month alone. That's a lot. I wonder if she has carpal tunnel. Or really swollen thumbs. The online AT&T statement ran 440 pages. "First, I laughed. I thought, 'That's insane, that's impossible,' " the 45-year-old dad said. "And I immediately whipped out (my junk and) the calculator to see if it was humanly possible." He found... | More →

HIT THE JUMP TO SEE THE DELICIOUS BACON-EXPLOSION MAKING PROCESS! If you thought the bacon-cheese roll was bad, you need to check out the Bacon Explosion. This bacon-y treat is so dangerously delicious it'll make your freaking heart explode and still have your corpse begging for a second helping. It's basically a bacon weave made out of a pound of bacon, filled with 2... | More →

BaR2D2 is a mobile robot bartender complete with everything you need to get crunknasty and puke on yourself and everyone around you. BaR2D2 is a radio-controlled, mobile bar that features a motorized beer elevator, motorized ice/mixer drawer, six-bottle shot dispenser, and sound activated neon lighting. The robot is driveable so you can take the party on the road! It was created in my garage... | More →

You a Stargate SG-1 fan? Want a LEGO replica of the Asgard Beliskner Battle Ship? Got $3,500? Live in or around Highland Park, Illinois? Willing to drive there? If so you're in luck because eBay user fentonhardy is selling the ship of your dreams! AFTER THREE MONTHS OF HARD WORK AND TENS OF THOUSANDS OF PIECES MY BELISKNER IS FINALLY FINISHED. FANS OF THE... | More →

The Chrono-Shredder is a wall calendar designed by Susanna Hertrich that shreds the days as they pass. It takes a full 24-hours to shred a date, but only 10 minutes to run a dead hooker through a wood-chipper. The Chrono-Shredder is a device that reminds us of the preciousness of our lifetime. It represents the passing of time by shredding the days of the... | More →

NOTE: GALLERY PROBABLY NSFW. This is a gallery of probably NSFW pixelated naked chicks by artist/photographer Jean-Yves Lemoigne. Hit the jump for an uncensored version of this pic, as well as several others. And I must say: Yow yow! They look like super sexy naked LEGO chicks, don't they? This handkerchief says yes! And also, "For The Superficial Writer's tears only". Woopsie. Hit the... | More →

This is a picture of a Mercedes Benz that's been Bedazzled. It's a "customized Mercedes-Benz SL600, Luxury Crystal Benz, studded with 300,000 Swarovski crystal glass." It was on display at the recent Tokyo Auto Salon 2009 by auto-modder Garson/D.A.D. Oh, did I mention it's a monster piece of gaudy crap? It's true. Fun fact: if you squeeze a Swarovski crystal between your buttcheeks hard... | More →