Dec 18 2008The Robot Apocalypse Is Upon Us, First Three Victims Claimed. Alternatively, This Month's Darwin Award Recipients
Three people in Japan have died after trying to use a robotic foot massage machine on their necks and shoulders.
In the most recent case, a woman removed the cloth cover of the machine and ended up strangling herself when her shirt collar was caught in its massage rollers. The other two deaths also seem to have occurred in a similar manner. No recall of the product has been issued, but the manufacturer thought it would be a good idea to issue a public warning.
The end is nigh! The rise of the foot massage machines is only the begining. Also, who the f*** tries to use a foot massager on their neck? Nowhere was the thing advertised as a 2-in-1 massager. SO WHY PUT IT ON YOUR NECK? Wu-Tang said it best: Ya best protect ya neck! Jesus, next thing you know some jackass is gonna try sticking his....
UPDATE: Oh God, call the wienerologist!
Three people killed by foot massage machines [japanprobe]
Thanks manwai, Brad and Flavio, you know anything about chiropractics?
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Reader Comments
1. killerabbit - December 18, 2008 6:01 PM
Oh God!!!
2. Armida - December 18, 2008 6:07 PM
Second!!!! I dedicate my second to my boyfriend Alex.
3. pierre - December 18, 2008 6:08 PM
i want this for my penis
4. C-Basstian - December 18, 2008 6:22 PM
@3 you want to strangle your penis??? on second thought that sounds nice
5. Moose Knuckle - December 18, 2008 6:23 PM
I would have all robots destroyed... except the ones that look like Summer Glau(hawt) and Jailbot(personal ass-kicker)
6. I'm a Computer - December 18, 2008 6:35 PM
i wanna see a kill bill style reenactment/dramatization turned awesome fight scene between an old japanese lady and this massager.
7. Gizmoduck - December 18, 2008 6:54 PM
i had one of those.
it was sweet.
butttttt why are they putting it on their necks??
8. Pew³ - December 18, 2008 6:55 PM
Can I wrap in in toilet paper and sit on it after pooping?
9. Gizmoduck - December 18, 2008 6:58 PM
@8
lulzzy
10. Pew³ - December 18, 2008 6:59 PM
strangle my ass!
ba-da-bing.
11. bum master - December 18, 2008 7:01 PM
FAKE!!!
you can see how the guys eyes twitch when he is explaining
come on Geekologie writer, learn how to sift these out
12. Moose Knuckle - December 18, 2008 7:08 PM
Now, is this a foot massager or a "personal massager"... did she put it on her neck or on her "vagina"?
You have to read between the lines GW.
13. Spider - December 18, 2008 7:58 PM
LOL to the article
grow up to the rest of the comments!!
(except 3)
14. Daisy - December 18, 2008 8:42 PM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake bacause the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max and Baja build a robot out of beer cans and bacon. The robot doesn't work for shit but he smells really good.
15. Sharla - December 18, 2008 10:02 PM
Maybe they could life the car up far enough to get the tires on their neck?
Idiots...
http://internetmiscellanea.blogspot.com/
16. Douchie Mc Bagman - December 18, 2008 10:57 PM
3 people have died, how come there isn't any outpouring of sympathy? You asshats joke when there have been people killed, I'm outraged.
17. Joker Boy - December 18, 2008 11:31 PM
The Robots are coming from Oprah! Pass it on...
http://www.blackbeatpress.com
18. Feces Jim - December 19, 2008 1:01 AM
Crazians!
19. Arlo - December 19, 2008 1:06 AM
Am i dead yet?
20. zack - December 19, 2008 1:33 AM
16. never come to the interwebs for sympathy
NEVER!!
so help me GOD if i see u here...
STOP OVERREACTING
wat a psycho AMIRITE!?
yes.
21. Weed - December 19, 2008 4:27 AM
I smoke weed
22. Smoke - December 19, 2008 10:25 AM
I Weed Smoke
23. Groonk - December 19, 2008 5:25 PM
first blood is yours, you silicon fiends.
24. The Seeker - December 19, 2008 11:19 PM
I don't believe a word of it! Moi? Je suis Napoleon! C'est vrai!
25. marrilliondillion - December 21, 2008 4:30 AM
the evil computers that secretly run the world ordered them to do it. using the most foolish means at their disposal. consider it a warning.