Dec 9 2008The End Is Nigh!: Hovering Robot Of Death

Wonder how you're gonna die? By this thing, the Missile Agency's Multiple Kill Vehicle-L (MKV-L).

The MKV-L mission is to destroy medium through intercontinental-range ballistic missiles equipped with multiple warheads or countermeasures by using a single interceptor missile. During an actual hostile ballistic missile attack, the carrier vehicle with its cargo of small kill vehicles will maneuver into the path of an enemy missile. Using tracking data from the Ballistic Missile Defense System and its own seeker, the carrier vehicle will dispense and guide the kill vehicles to destroy any warheads or countermeasures.

Missile destroyer my ass, we're all freaking dead. Game over man, game over!

The hovering Multiple Kill Vehicle is simply a waking nightmare [engadget]

Thanks to Mike, Jake and Leigh, who know I love thinking about the robot apocalypse almost as much as I love things being jammed in my pee-hole.

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Reader Comments

First!!

ZOMG

I thought it was done, but it came back to life!
WE IN TROUBLE

Damn that is cool, and by cool I mean, I just ruined my underwear.

YES!!!!!

I want one, the kids will love this

FAKE!!!!

This is an obvious photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.

This is exactly like the scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max calls kirk herbert, but calls spock one.

Okay, now just apply that technology to a board of some sort that I can ride on. Hover board of death, we're one step closer!

I'm with Daisy. Except for all that NBD crap. This is a rendering, not a test of an actual product. Look at it scientifically and you'll find that the motion of the device defies physics. Plus, how many rounds are housed in that little cylinder? Quite a lot I'd say. Fuel enough to keep it aloft? There's just not enough mass. I'm not convinced.

That's it! I'm capturing a terminator that looks like Summer Glau and reprogramming her to be my sex sla-, I mean, cyborg bodyguard. I'm a freakin' genius!!!

@7 - If you were to analyze the power utilizatation curves you would see the vessel was designed for a suicide mission. Since they never intend
to return to their home base, they can use 100% power on their attacks.

@9
Don't need to analyze power curves to determine mission orientation. Duration of flight and fuel consumption necessary to keep this device aloft and manuverable is off balance. And, don't you think it odd that such an important "test" should be conducted in a dark room? What about equal and opposite reaction? This device is firing enough ammo to shake the cameras quite a lot, yet the device remains very stable. Gyros? Electronic systems for stabilization? These take up lots of room. Ample ammo & firing system? Takes up lots of room. Still not convinced.

@8

Sharing is caring.

My favorite part is in the description, "During an actual hostile ballistic missile attack..." Hostile attack? As apposed to a friendly attack? "Hi, I'm the missille next door. Would you have a cup of sugar I can borrow? Thanks. Pew-pew!!!".

Aw f***! Not another apocalyptic device! How much more do we really need these things? F***, we are f***ed.

As you can see, #9 is being a total idiot right now. How the hell could it possibly be a suicide mission when it's got its own carrier vehicle? It's not like a device that soldiers use, hands-on.

ITS A F***ING ROBOT! I think it can possibly handle itself, pretty much.

It's not firing rounds, it's using small controlled explosions to keep itself steady, just like how your car uses small controlled explosions of liquid fuel to give itself momentum. THERE IS NO AMMO IN THERE.

I don't know if you've been keeping up with current events but we just got our ASSES kicked in there, pal!

@10... everything used to take up a lot of room. cameras, tvs, computers. i'm sure with the billions of dollars spent on developmental research there's bound to be smaller versions of equipment that hasn't been brought to the public eye yet? just a thought. but i think its fake too. as fake as UFOs.

oh yea, and this is totally just hanging on a string that is being masterfully and gingerly manouvered by Miguel A. Núñez, Jr.

@14
So, it manuvers into the path of the missile and steadily waits for the collision? The collision with an object traveling at how many hundreds of miles per hour? You are saying there is no munition on board? Hmmm. Still not convinced.

@10 Normally I would agree that firing that much ammo would destabilize the device and make it tumble all over the place.

However if you actually paid attention to the bursts of light (flame) on the sides and top... it's NOT gun fire, there are no guns on this. Those are stabilizers for flight just like on a space shuttle or satellite, full 360 degree stabilization for the large engine underneath.

The dark room, obviously it's because those engines would fry the engineers like chicken at a Mississippi wedding.

Not saying this is real, but when you take into account the lack of pew pew and realize those are not guns, it's actually more physics friendly.

17:

No where on the video (or description) does it say it's a complete action ready device. The video is of a flight test, the damn thing is still in testing of course there is no munition.

Eventually the engines will be perfected and the munition added assuming it's not just a target to get in the way of missiles to stop them.

That's the Missile Defense Agency, and at the rate those clowns are going, maybe your grandkids will see something like this fly. Now, if you could shoot down missiles by plastering conference room walls with powerpoint slides, missile defense would have become a reality years ago..

well, i think it's safe it won't be SNEAKING UP on anyone
BLAP BLAP BLAP POP BLAP BLAP POP POP POP BLAP PEW

#14 is correct about stability. The rest is assumption. The sound and the visible fluctuation of the main propulsion are synchronized so I tend to believe that it is an real video footage. Actually it looks like a carbonized jet fuel flame and would have enough fuel and oxygen to keep it aloft for the amount of time it was. Less than 1 liter of jet fuel (kerosene) injected at 120p.s.i. can sustain a mach 7 output for 15 seconds. It would need 1:2.56 oxygen, but being compressed that is easy. According to the PDF, this is the deployed unit from a larger carrier, so it would only need to intercept a missile, easy enough to be in the way, simple Newtonian trajectory physics.
I don't know, I may or may not be a rocket scientist.

And I like Daisy's older comments.

@18
Yes, the heat it would generate would fry the engineers, but not the net used to stop it's inevitable desent? Fishy.
@19
There would have to be a whole hell of a lot of these little turds to create a pattern tight enough to ensure a collision. We're talking about a lot of sky and not much time to intercept. Still not convinced.

Why use propulsion for stabilization when you can use gyros? They are much more energy efficient. Hmmm.

Colonel: So...um...where do the bullets go?
Designer: Bullets? Aw shit!

i could be wrong, but i have a feeling pulse detonation runs at a cooler clip

The side blasts are for stability and movement. I bet the thing has gyros somewhere in there, they just give us engineers woodies.

Where's Sarah Conner and Cameron when you need them the most?!!
Damn you Skynet...why don't you be a good boy and die?!!
Who here will be the next John Conner and lead the human resistence to the machines? Anyone? Free chips and salsa on Wednesday nights...Nom Nom

For those of you who missed it, some of our brethren are demonstrating allusion.
@9 Star Trek: Journey to Babel - favorite line "Got 'im!"

@15 Aliens: Best version of Starship Troopers to date. Still waiting for a good depiction of Heinlein's powered armor. I'd kill to hear the line "I'm a 30-second bomb!"

Thank you for these fine, if aged, or fine-aged references. Sorry so many missed them and carried on with their engineering analyses. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good engineering analysis, but this seems too stupid to be a realistic approach. Better to have long-range UAV's patrolling the skies with shoot down capability - and a fun chance of eradicating unsuspecting technophobes. Pew Pew

@ PLEEEZE!:

shut up man

This is definitely fake, they used a sound clip of my Mitsubishi at a red light

I hate to sound like DAISY, but I have to agree with PLEEEZE... I have a hard time believing this is actually video... there are pieces that make be think it's rendered....

@29
Sorry mate, must call on the constitution and remind you that you are an asshat and tell your mama to shut up! Or, you can give your scientific input if you'd like. If you are just here to wank, try a porn site. Much more satisfying for you less endowed fellows if I understand correctly.

Just sayin'

Yeah, I guess guys with big dicks like to talk physics on geekologie, no wonder chicks like Daisy troll this site

@33
No, Daisy IS a big dick! You are the teeny-weenie. hehehe. I got your pantys in a bunch didn't I?! It's so easy to pick on retards. I mean, after all...you are a retard, no? See, if you are frustrated by intellectual conversation and argument, well, that signals some sort of mental confusion, slowness, and/or lack of comprehension. Be encouraged though, it is probably genetic so there really is nothing you could have done to prevent your stupidity. If you are just ignorant and choose not to change...well, Yes, I'd like fries with that, thank you.

...and, I believe my dick to be rather average, thank you.

You're so smart man, what was I even thinking? I commend you, you totally have me all figured out.

The world's first JAZZ DANCING ROBOT!

Pssshh putaputaputaputaputa PSSSH
Aaah! That's jaaaaaaazz

@36

Pedestrian, so pedestrian.

it's not a robot genius.. it's a test of a new type of propulsion system most likely to be used in future jet fighters and/or UAVs.

Umm... This is technology from the late 70s. JPL has been doing this for decades. I'm sorry to spoil your fun.

There are no munitions ever intended. These are interceptors that are launched on ballistic missiles. There is nothing stationary about them, the kinetic energy is enough to kill the target.

Also, there is no "net" for just one target. One interceptor per target. This is a test of a mkv designed to overcome mirv ballistic missiles. It kills decoys and multiple warheads with only one interceptor rocket., but multiple kill vehicles in the package.

I actually know someone who worked on this. Oddly enough, the company made hats and sweatshirts that say "MKV" on them. I never saw any footagge of it until now, and I'm really considering asking my friend why she'd contribute to this monstrous robot that's gonna kill us all. :P

Never thought i would say this but yep...looked fake.

Gx

Are we all dead yet ?? Pew pew peeeeeww !

SHIT We're SCREWED

Finally some intelectuall comments, i thought da world was going stupid for a moment, first of all i would have to disagree with Pleeeze because, it does not use ammo, and i dont think it can be constant thrust simply because it would burn through the fuel faster than just having small powerful explosions to keep it aloft and stable, second of all to whoever wrote da comment about the net, chances are its made of a flame and heat resistant matterial, lastly it only need to carry enough fuel to last maby a few minutes, besides its got a carrier vehicle to take it to the kill zone

Missile destroyer my ass, we're all f***ing dead. Game over man, game over!

game over man game over !!! zoey L4d....

:D

SKY NET must be destroyed !!!

@9&7 Those aren't weapons that are firing. They're akin to vernier thrusters. Course correction and flight stabilization. I imagine this is a kinetic kill vehicle (it crashes into its target, destroying both). My logic for this is as follows:

1) If those were weapons, it wouldn't make for a very safe test demo, as the whole thing is encased in a net. The risks involved would be unacceptably high.

2) And if they were blanks, it wouldn't be a very good test of fuel-to-weight either, as blanks have no slugs.

3) If they were weapons, where are the spent cartridges?

4) without some kind of flight stabilization, the vehicle would have gone into a roll that, given the position of the main thruster, would have spelled EPIC FAIL for the vehicle.

@17 You are correct (sort of), the vehicle travels at a ridiculous speed towards another vehicle that is basically falling at a ridiculous speed. So they'll collide at a doubly ridiculous speed. No explosives, no ammunition. Just sheer Newtonian force. Which will either render the warhead useless or cause it to prematurely detonate, dispelling its destructive force safely in mid-flight. We kinda did the same thing when we shot down that satellite with a missile launched from a Navy cruiser.

If it sounds like shooting a bullet at a bullet, that's because aside from the fine print, that's exactly what it is. But we got some really bright guys and gals doing the math for us (thank God, 'cause I suck at it), so I'm pretty confident that if this thing ever gets fielded, it'll work perfectly.

omg it just keeps coming!! 0.o

run and hide!

... Death blossom!

I would guess it's real, if only for that fact of "why fake this"? It's not like it's that impressive. It's cool from a geek standpoint, but that's really about it.

And besides, have you ever seen CG video put out by the government? It looks like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsPKYDcfw4k&eurl=http://www.geekologie.com/2008/12/the_end_is_nigh_hovering_robot.php&feature=player_embedded

I'm most definitely not a rocket scientist (although I have a friend who is), but I do understand a few things about basic physics and everything here seems reasonable.

My guess would be that there was no one in the room not because of heat, but because this thing is basically a small computer wrapped in a cylinder of jet full. Imagine the blast if something went wrong! Besides short bursts like this probably wouldn't generate enough heat to "kill" someone unless they got directly in the path of the flame.

My guess is that's a room with foot-thick concrete walls to contain the explosion, just in case. Not to mention you'd probably need some serious ear protection to be in that room. The way the camera was shaking, that main thruster must have been putting out some massive pulses of air pressure.

I like how it manages not to burn throw the rope below. (?)

ITS NOT FIRING BULLETS.


the sound is from its stabalizers and main rocket, i saw this a while ago on tlc, and i found another clip of that same episode through the related videos on youtube,. its not shooting antything, its merely balancing itself out with thrusters it doesnt defy anything at all, its motions are constantly and gyroscopically detected ad reformed to match its movement.

What a crazy idea. Thats never gonna work in practise. Now, my killbot idea powered by tiny animals trapped inside the robot...thats a winner!!!!

Gx

@5
you're retarded

I think it's as fake as God is.

This man of thinking is nothing new. But it is a good line.
Good Idea! Nice Site.

http://www.u-n-i-v-e-r-s-e.com

YES!!!!!

I want one, the kids will love this

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