Dec 7 2008Man, AKA The Cheeseburglar, Assaults Girlfriend With Cheesy Deliciousness
Vincent Gonzalez assaulted his girlfriend with a cheeseburger. He's currently in the slammer with charges of battery, domestic violence and destruction of deliciousness.
The victim told sheriff's deputies that she was eating with boyfriend Vincent Gonzales in her car when the two began arguing. When she threw his drink out of the car window, he retaliated by hitting her in the face with a cheeseburger. He then pulled her from the car and struck her with the sandwich several more times.
Vincent, you stupid f***. Hands (and burgers) off women. I swear, I have a good mind to beat you within inches of your life with a footlong meatball sub. Eat fresh, bitch!
Man behind bars after hitting woman in face with cheeseburger [kare11]
Thanks to ...In America!, who once hit ....in Canada! with a chili dog.
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Reader Comments
1. buzz_clik - December 7, 2008 10:09 PM
Would you like a can of whoop ass with that?
2. HA FIRST?! - December 7, 2008 10:09 PM
She blatantly bought the wrong burger for him.
3. Paul Kratunis - December 7, 2008 10:19 PM
Wow epic fail. It's story's like this that make my day-you sir are the best tech blogger in the world. Oh and we definitely have to have a moment of silence for this fallen cheeseburger. On another note; if it was a big mac that could be lethal; those things are so heavy on the grease one hit could do you in!
4. Daisy - December 7, 2008 10:19 PM
FAKE!!!!
This is an obvious photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like the scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max has to work in the Good Burger to fix Mr. Wheat's car.
5. Homsar57 - December 7, 2008 10:27 PM
Oh and one more thing-How does an idiot like that get a girlfriend in the first place? I bet she IS the cheeseburger.
6. formerly SPELLINGNAZI - December 7, 2008 10:49 PM
That must have been one tasty beverage she threw out the window!
7. cd - December 7, 2008 10:53 PM
rofl
struck with a sandwich.....how humiliating
america is the land of guns, why in the modern world does a man have to resort to using a sandwich for friendly light headed domestic violence.
8. eggs - December 7, 2008 10:55 PM
All the more reason to avoid junkfood. If you're not willing to settle for a junk lifestyle, you shouldn't settle for junk food. Now if only I can remember where I stole that line from...
9. Holy Crap! - December 7, 2008 10:57 PM
Well I'm just proud it didn't happen in Florida.
10. kwasny - December 7, 2008 11:51 PM
dude it did happen in florida
11. Melissa - December 8, 2008 12:25 AM
The only way I could accept such behavior is if his GF was Daisy.
12. ...in America! - December 8, 2008 1:27 AM
Why the hell am I so happy about having my tip turned into an entry on an obscure internet blog? Oh well, this story still cracks me up every time.
There was a similar incident to this, unfortunately I could not find it, that said in the official report that, "Police are not releasing the identity of the sandwich."
13. Ginormagantuan - December 8, 2008 1:46 AM
I've been known to beat women with my meat........
14. zomfg mike texas ranger - December 8, 2008 6:32 AM
DEATH PENNALTY !!!
15. austin - December 8, 2008 7:41 AM
first didnt say it. IM STEALING FIRST!
16. austin - December 8, 2008 7:41 AM
first didnt say it. IM STEALING FIRST!
17. My coffee sucks this morning - December 8, 2008 9:07 AM
For a second there I almost jumped off a bridge. The link is a local news channel in my city, but then I noticed it happened in Florida. Good. Let's just keep all the idiots down there in the weener shaped state.
18. OJ's Mom - December 8, 2008 9:11 AM
F*** this guy. You don't hit women. Period.
I wish my son knew that.
Juice!
19. JS - December 8, 2008 9:23 AM
I love this. Obviously he shouldn't beat her with a cheeseburger, but she probably shouldn't be throwing his drink out the window. I smell a cunt.
20. Brian - December 8, 2008 9:54 AM
Poor girl... now she's going to suffer years of post-traumatic cheeseburger disorder. I imagine she'll waking up screaming desperately trying to peel pickles from her face that aren't really there... sad.
21. AJ - December 8, 2008 10:10 AM
I raise your chili dog for a true canadian weapon...POUTINE!
22. ahha - December 8, 2008 10:42 AM
This is all just a simple misunderstanding. This was just foreplay for food erotics. The cops just got there a little too early. A couple minutes later and they would have been treated to a double dose of sloppy seconds and that's not right. It really is all about the timing.
23. I'm a Computer - December 8, 2008 11:15 AM
He hit her once with the cheeseburger... Then got out the car and proceeded to burger-beat her? That is one extremely well-made cheeseburger. This is going to require surveillance footage.
24. Thumperchica - December 8, 2008 11:22 AM
He meat slapped her for tossing his drink... I know I shouldn't laugh, but d00d, that's funny.
25. Derrick - December 8, 2008 11:51 AM
I once had I dream I was a cheeseburger. F***ing pickles wouldn't leave me alone. I was 5, and horribly tormented by this dream for days, f***ing cheeseburgers, they cause nothing but harm!! I'm starting a facebook app.
26. Moose Knuckle - December 8, 2008 12:04 PM
She can haz cheezberger
27. Elmo - December 8, 2008 12:11 PM
He's Lovin it
28. Hawk - December 8, 2008 1:58 PM
F***ING PSYCHO!! Do you realize how many people DIE each year from burger and cheeseburger related deaths!! IDIOT!!
29. known - December 8, 2008 2:11 PM
I can haz cheeseburgah too!
30. Daisy - December 8, 2008 2:23 PM
FAKE!!!!
This is an obvious photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like the scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max has to work in the Good Burger to fix Mr. Wheat's car.
31. bird whisperer - December 8, 2008 3:21 PM
lmao that poor buger
32. guate6 - December 8, 2008 3:28 PM
Haha, this article made me laugh too "eat fresh bitch"
classic.
33. Ben - December 8, 2008 4:11 PM
"Eat Fresh, Bitch!"
That's good. In fact, that's gold.
Nice one GEEKOLOGIE
34. tn11 - December 8, 2008 10:00 PM
wow... dude's got issues. all i gotta say
35. Simply Doe - January 7, 2009 4:30 PM
That my friend, makes me happy.
36. emo 1999 - June 27, 2009 6:54 PM
wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrdddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd lololololol!
37. louis vuitton - September 27, 2009 8:36 PM
She blatantly bought the wrong burger for him.
38. penis enlargement pills - October 5, 2009 12:23 PM
I love the content!