Dec 11 2008Geekologie Reader Ingenuity: The Ass Towel


I know not all of you readers are FAKE! asshats. I'm sure some of you are actually good people, who make a valued contribution to society. And some of you are straight pervs. And others, like reader David, are inventors. David developed a towel that helps solve the age-old "did I just wipe my face with ass?" conundrum.

I've had this idea for a while. I've come to the conclusion that I'm never getting around to getting it made, so I at least want it publicized.

An ordinary towel right? Correct.

But, it has a distinct blue square in a not so used area of the towel.

Maybe I'm a slob, but I usually don't get a new towel every single day. And, I've got to dry my entire body. Some of which don't always get 100% clean.

I dry my ass, then the next day I use that same spot on the towel to dry my face. There it is, and it sucks.

The blue square is the designated section of the towel to dry your ass.

Genius, David. This is exactly the kind of ingenuity I expect from Geekologie readers. I really want these made. Then I could finally stop drying my ass with my roommate's toothbrush.

Thanks David, remind me to bring my own towel to the slumber party.

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Reader Comments


gonna get some water




I apologize for the FAKE! post regarding the ToDaLoo, I just couldn't help myself.


This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.

This is exactly like the scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max decided he wanted to be in the army to get chicks and had his uncle buy him a tank which he drove around on the city streets. In another sub plot Baja gave her pet racoon a bath in the cement pond, and later they all had dinner on a pool table.

Why not make the ass section of the towel brown?

I just hang my ass over the space heater for a couple minutes and presto...I have no life

Pure 100% unadulterated awesomenessness

Wouldn't it be easier to just use a different towel to dry your ass?

Instead of a blue square, mine would be a picture of David Duchovny's johnson. Mmmmm boy.

What if you were left handed?? That towel favors the right handed....

I'll take one with Jessica Alba's face. *rimjob* Erm.. I mean *rimshot*. Ha! I was right the first time!

OR how about just wash your ass?! If you soaped it up properly it should be just as clean as your face...or are you cramming towel up your anus when you are drying your ass?

@6. What makes you think this is FAKE? Its a towell. How do yo fake a towell? Actually the picture has NO SHADOWS!!!! Its a white box with some lines and a blue square. It looks pretty f***in' real to me. You are a complete douchebag if you think this is fake. And the movie Never Back Down!?!? You have your movies confused. Im not sure what acid trip movie your talking about, but it isn't Never Back Down. I've watched that piece of shit movie five times now, and I'm going to get a late charge from Blockbuster becuase I haven't returned it yet. Only becuase I tried to make sense of one of your posts! And I don't think your posts make any sense. And how come when someone replies to your comments you never reply back?


what if some people... like the ass smell? You know them, they eat boogers too..

@14, We're clearly talking about the people that take one chunk of the towel, drape it over one finger, and dig in the back-cave until it bleeds. That way, we KNOW it's dry. Nothing worse than chaffing.

UPDATE: My Towel would have #15's face on it.

I could swear I called someone an "Ass Towel" just the other day, if not then I will.


Sorry! It's already been done (and much better, imho):

This is old news. There are already towels like that out there, and they're better labeled ASS/FACE

@15. You have been fooled by Daisy. Your'e not supposed to take her comments literally. Actually, I'm not sure you're supposed to read her comments.

@15 Goddamn noob, what the f*** is your problem?!?!!? I've seen you post a few times, you can't figure out Daisy posts the same shit everytime? What, are you a f***ing retard? Go grow yourself a f***ing brain, or better yet, hang yourself in your closet and spare us your stupidity!

hey, here's an idea. How about you just wash your ass and never worry about it again?

Ok, I realize 21 and 22 already told us it's already been done... but i already copied the url and so ima use it

I own it, it works


What if I need to dry my ever so big cock? Maybe they should put another section for it to and then the world would be perfect.

I like to tie a knot in one corner and stick that up my ass and pretend i have a tail, just so i know its super dry. Is it patented or anything? or can i just go a head and mass produce these myself?

It's already been done! :( sorry David, your ideas, like everyone elses, have already been done.

In the meantime... that towel is awesome, and is way more attractive, with the poo color and all :)


With that said, I somehow get a picture of a superhero with, instead of on their neck, they have a cape trailing out their ass as they fly away into the sunset. I giggled. Thank you.

This is easily gotten around for girls. I use one towell for my body, one for my hair, I simply dry my face with the towell I use for my hair...

@24. What is MY problem. What is YOUR problem? If Daisy is pulling these pranks all the time, why is everyone so upset at me? Becuase I'm smart enough not to fall for her prank? And why does everyone keep calling me a noob? That's not even a word. It ryhmes with boob, are you calling me some kind of boob? Maybe you should see a therapist about your anger issues, and see your elementary school teacher about your vocabulary issues.

Especially you LSDiesel. If you have nothing nice to say, why don't you go rent a gun and buy a bullet. Do the rest of us a favor and clean out your ears with it.
You don't even know what my face looks like. Why would you want it on your towell? So you have something to masterbate to?

At least Daisy keeps to her goddamn self!


It's not because your smart enough to not fall for "her prank", it's because you're too stupid to know that she does it on EVERY GOD DAMN POST and you keep wasting your time commenting on it.

I thought it too. but it´s still a genious project

At the risk of pissing everyone off... Did anyone notice the name "You Got Trolled"... Ever think that his response to Daisy's trolling, is to troll back with "NOT FAKE"?

34. And you too Ollie..

It's not that your smart enough to realize that you have called me a noob on more than one occasion, it's that you are stupid to not realize that YOU sir have been TROLLED!!! Who's the noob now, troll bitch!!!


I always new Thumperchica was the smart one around here.


It's not really being trolled when you're attempting to make a valid argument.

"I do not think that means what you think it means."

@12 In that case, turn the damn thing over. It has two sides.

If it is enough to matter, it would be really damn obvious where I wiped my ass.

is it possible daisy and trolled are the same asshat?

39. My "valid" argument is only a commentary about the recent flaming people have gotten lately when arguing with Daisy. And you are being trolled because you just don't get it. It's over your head.

41. Dirty Paul. Sorry I'm not Daisy. As a matter of fact, this is my feeble attempt at hoping it would make Daisy stop. But also enjoying the asshats that need to point me out, becuase they think I have somehow been fooled. I do in fact post as a different name here, and have been here quite a while in fact. But made up this name just for responding to Daisy's lame shit.

Some people around here are smart enough they didnt need that spelled out. But I understand some people need their hands held.

Hint of the day:

Hahahaha, I can't believe this got featured.

Thanks GW!!

what a spectacular idea. some manufacturer really ought to pick this idea up.

Win goes to 'Trolled'. Ollie hoisted by is own petard.

I've always circumvented this issue by not being a plebeian and using a fresh towel each time. I even use soap, too. Might want to give that a shot, Davey-boy.

"what a spectacular idea. some manufacturer really ought to pick this idea up."

They have. I have a novelty towel - brown on one side with "arse" written on it in white, and white on the other with "face" written in brown.

37 sounds like a get-out clause used in case someone gets rumbled being an invalid. It's all to easy to say "HAHA YEAH I WASN'T BEING SERIOUS".

Yep, gotta go with 49 - if you truly think that Daisy's posts are annoying, why would you possibly think that your post isn't equally annoying. (It is, if not more so!)

@26 - ha ha, best comment

This is a rip off of an old idea. I got for a present like 4 years ago that half the towel was white and the other half Brown. You do the math. I think the brown works better anyways.

@ You got Trolled... Nice.

I'll admit it, you got me for about 2 posts then I started to catch on...

@Ollie Williams...Shouldn't you just be screaming 3 word phrases such as It's gon' rain!", or "Wasn't really dead!"?



.49 I see where you are coming from. That's why I took the time to make up a name that would give some people the hint that I wasnt serious in the first place. Note my screen name isn't "Ted".

You Got Trolled... Provided me with my "laugh at the idiot" moment of the day.

I thought I was the only one worried about this


This is actually a really good idea. Make it.

if u think about it your cheeks are actually really clean its in pants and undies all the time unless u get up in your actual hole with your towel and that's just strange

oh ho ho, toupé indeed number 58, but if you DON'T wipe dry your butt loop, the moisture could provide necessary and delicious life-sustaining nourishment for the fecal bacterias. do YOU want to play host to a colony of ass mold? (Only if you're going for the guinness record or charging admission)

second, just look for the tag on the towel! use that side, and more specifically, the portion between the edge of the towel and whatever you call the lines going across the towel - red in this picture. this system has kept my Butt Mold Park free of face grease for years

Man, if you don't patent this I will. Seriously this is an excellent idea, although drying off afterward will be awkward because you'll never want the blue square to touch you. Even so.... good idea.

uhm.... why not a second towel? Why not a bidet WITH a second towel?

Jesus, I moved in Netherlands two years ago and I miss so much a bidet!

I just dry my ass with my wife's towel.

Problem solved.

Ow god, i really laugh my ass of in this one.

There is already a Butt/Face Towel on the market - has been for years:

I don't mind wiping my face with ass. If I just came out of the shower, it's all equally clean.

yo whats with the 2nd lunchbox?

there can only be one lunchbox around here! and thats me!

You know... they made this before. It's a dark brown/light brown towel. One end says face (or body..can't remember) and the other says butt...

Or you could just dry your face first...


i can help find a manufacturer if you what.

I think I'll what.


They already make this. My roomate got one for x-mas last year. One side is The top is white and says Face, and the bottom is brown and says butt Butt.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but the face/ass towel has existed for quite some time now, and there are actually many variations of it in the market today.

Hahaha~ It's funny!!

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