Dec 15 2008Dubai Resort Building Air-Conditioned Beach
A new Versace hotel in Dubai is going to feature an air-conditioned beach. Ha, and all this time I thought beaches were supposed to be hot.
A system of heat-absorbing pipes and giant wind blowers will "keep tourists cool in the searing 40-50C (104-122F) heat." Soheil Abedian, president of Palazzo Versace hotel that will be home to the refrigerated beach, said: "We will suck the heat out of the sand to keep it cool enough to lie on. This is the kind of luxury that top people want."
Top people? What the f*** is a top person? And, more importantly, how do I become one? Unfortunately, this opulence comes at a cost. Namely, mother nature's ass.
The city's continued expansion will also add to its huge carbon footprint. Each person living in Dubai has a carbon footprint of more than 44 tons of CO2 a year.
A 44-ton footprint -- that's bigger than Bigfoot's! But seriously, Satan, how about a little AC down here, it's freaking hot.
Versace hotel to refrigerate beach [news.au]
Thanks Natalie and jumpin_j, now listen: don't sin lest you want a burning coal jammed up your ass for eternity. And *TSSSSSSSSSS* OH MOTHER OF MELTING ASS TRUST ME YOU DOOOOOOON'T!
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Reader Comments
1. Paulie - December 15, 2008 2:02 PM
I never thought I'd see this day....... FIRST!!!
2. Clifurd - December 15, 2008 2:06 PM
man you guys must sit and wait to get first huh 2nd as far as i know
3. Moose Knuckle - December 15, 2008 2:06 PM
Are the people in Dubai so rich the poop diamonds? And is it Dubaiians? Dubaites?
4. GINORMAGANTUAN - December 15, 2008 2:09 PM
Hmmm..... well, I have been to dupai and it is f***ing really really hot, so I guess it makes sense. but still........ it's like:
Hey what pollution? what? nonsense! if river goes to shit! we make new one! this dubai we got oil and stuff!
5. jumpin_J - December 15, 2008 2:10 PM
As I said in my mention of this to Mr. Geek writer, my alternative is hire a bunch of Victoria Secret and Sports Illustrated models to walk along the beck with fans and ice cubes. It's eco-friendly and likely cheaper than this project. Thank you. I'll accept my Nobel prize now... for awesomeness.
6. GINORMAGANTUAN - December 15, 2008 2:12 PM
dubai is so hot dude that place rocks! but the hotels we stayed in were f***ing expensive! and the only thing i could afford was the size of my closet! the hookers were superb though my nikka! hmm! they had every flavor and shit! man...... if only they had THUMPERCHICCA flavor, i would do anythang for that shit, hmm! i loves me some big whaite lady's ass!!
7. LSDiesel - December 15, 2008 2:17 PM
Only the top people in hell get AC, cooling it down to a comfortable 400 degrees. I hear Hitler even has room service.
8. Riposte101 - December 15, 2008 2:18 PM
"searing 40-50C (104-122F) heat"
That is far too hot to stay on the beach. AC is a great idea imo.
9. wtf - December 15, 2008 2:19 PM
@5 Another alternative would be to learn how to write a f***ing sentence.
10. Thumperchica - December 15, 2008 2:20 PM
This seems, retarded. It's supposed to be hot there...
@7 - I prefer the idea of a pinapple up Hilter's ass every day at 3pm.
11. Daisy - December 15, 2008 2:20 PM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like the scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max and Baja were over Max's house on a saturday afternoon. They came inside for meat cake with bacon ice cream, and then went outside. Max left the door open and his dad yelled out the door - "What?!!?!?!, Am I paying to air Condition the outside????" He then slammed the door, and muttered something about no good kids to himself.
12. Sharla - December 15, 2008 2:21 PM
You live in a freaking desert... and it's HOT??!?!?!?!? How about you just buy a freaking island closer to one of the poles? Or better yet, just take Louisiana for free... We'll even throw in a collectors edition of the spears family, ALL OF THEM.
http://internetmiscellanea.blogspot.com/
13. Lunchbox - December 15, 2008 2:26 PM
i want to hump on that beach
14. Thumperchica - December 15, 2008 2:27 PM
and by "pinapple" I meant pineapple...
15. Pew³ - December 15, 2008 2:58 PM
Dubai is where the money is right now. The rest of the worlds economy is going down the toilet.
I thought someone from Dubai was called a doobie.
16. George Bush - December 15, 2008 2:59 PM
I was just there. It was nice. But when it was time to leave, someone threw their shoes at me and said, "This is your kiss goodbye!"
Weird customs.
17. George Bush - December 15, 2008 3:00 PM
All I can comment on it was, "I know they were a size 10"
18. Mike - December 15, 2008 3:04 PM
@16 - you probably just have a foot fetish. It wasn't an insult, they were trying to accomodate you.
19. Hannukah Montana - December 15, 2008 3:06 PM
I fried my balls once in the Gobi desert and thought about "AC-ing" this desolate wasteland. Then there's Antarctica, I went there once and burned me some of the wood that I brought 'cause I know it's gonna be freakin cold. What do we get? Global _f***ing_ warming.
The moral is to not f***ing change the climate. IT"S THE WAY IT IS.
These so called ARISTOCRATS can be so stupid sometimes.
20. George Bush - December 15, 2008 3:22 PM
@18. That's what I said. He even called me his "dawg".
That's cool dawg! Maybe I should walk a mile in your shoes before I judge you. That way, if I still don't like you, I'll be a mile away, and I'll have your shoes!
21. TetterkeT - December 15, 2008 3:40 PM
"We have top men working on it right now."
"Who?"
"Top... men."
22. Elovitz - December 15, 2008 3:52 PM
@19
That makes no sense, the gobi desert is COLD. Apparently you can be just as stupid as the aristocrats
23. LSDiesel - December 15, 2008 3:59 PM
@14, and by Hitler, you meant Uncle John.
24. Hannukah Montana - December 15, 2008 4:14 PM
@22 Oh my bad. And for that matter, I'm changing it to Sahara then. Jeez, dude. You're making me more stupid than I already am.
25. SmokingGirl - December 15, 2008 5:09 PM
Those silly Dubians...Dubians? Dubiees? Dubs? Whatever; and this just goes to show that those overseas could give a flying fig about Global Warming and Al Gore's ridiculous shenanigans. As we shackle ourselves to the whims of the wisest of world leaders, Dubiees will be enjoying their air-conditioned beach.
*puts up double thumbs, closes eyes, and smiles* Good for you! Now where are my paper water bottles so I can look uber eco-friendly as I drive around in my powder blue Prius with a baby seal, a whale, and some trees that I just saved in the backseat. And do you think this baby uses gasoline? F*** no, dude, I put some solar panels on it as well as a windmill. I'm so environmentally safe, I don't even need carbon credits...oh no, a Hummer! AGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH! * I, the eco-warrior, die in a horrible SUV related accident; all the while the Hummer driver thinks "What did I just hit?"*