Jan 3 2009 Questionable: Fridge Door Can Caddies
What the hell is a Fridge Door Can Caddy? It's a piece of molded plastic that holds four cans vertically in the refrigerator door so you can save space. And, as an added bonus, it comes with a handle so you can grab your brew and run should the cops come to raid your meth lab (I'm on to you!). $10 gets you a set of two. Also, $10 to anyone who can explain why there's a 3:1 soda to beer ratio in the picture. Who the hell only takes one beer somewhere? Well, except the shower.
Beer Can Door Caddy Might Just Save the Environment From Beer Fridges [uberreview]
Jan 3 2009 It's A Trap!: Homemade Star Wars Clocks
Etsy seller YOUgNeek is selling custom-made Star Wars clocks for $90 a pop. I've got the feeling it's a trap, but I can't prove it. Just to be safe, I paid for mine with marked Monopoly money.
This beautiful clear and chrome Sterling and Noble clock boasts 12 vintage classic Action Fleet Micro Machine battleships and vessels. They are finished in a pewter color. Each Star Wars Starships and Fighters clock is YOU gNeek and one-of-a-kind. If you have some favorite ships or vehicles in mind, let me know so I can include them if I have them in stock. Time to do battle! Requires one AA battery (not included - I use to include them but it made shipping more expensive a couple times).
Also the middle Star Wars label in the middle of the clock is optional and can also look different (it is cut out of books or boxes etc and layered with a resin-type coating).
Wow, $90 for a couple Micro Machines and a piece of cereal box glued to a silver wall penis. Talk about a racket. And speaking of rackets: racquetball. I own at that shit. Ha, I did type wall penis up there, didn't I? It's my prerogative! You think nobody gets drunk this early on a Saturday morning but you're wrong! Freud, I slipped! Now gimme kissies you little coke whore you!
Star Wars clock, proof that The Force is not with you [dvice]
Jan 3 2009 WTF Was That!?!: Deep-Sea Siphonophore
This is a video of a deep-sea (770-meters to be exact) siphonophore doing its thing. What the f*** is a siphonophore?
...an eerily fantastic creature that appears to be a single, large organism, but which is actually a colony of numerous individual jellyfish-like animals that behave and function together as a single entity. The individual units, called zooids, all share the same genetic material and each perform a specialized role within the colony. The best-known siphonophore is the poisonous Portuguese Man o' War.
Mmmm, I can almost taste the wasabi and soy sauce from here.
Siphonophore: Deep-sea superorganism [pinktentacle]
Thanks to Jack, a personal friend who knows I'm a sucker for new sushi.
Jan 2 2009 D+Caf Strips Detect Amount Of Caffeine In Your Coffee, Ur+In Strips Coming Soon
Some people drink decaf coffee. These people, given normal coffee, will go apeshit, bouncing off the walls and breaking things. Given espresso, they will spontaneously human combust and create a black (coffee) hole that will smell like fresh roasted beans and suck many an oblivious barista into its odoriferous depths. That's why it's important they never drink regular coffee or a Red Bull. To keep the rest of the world safe from these people, somebody developed D+Caf strips.
D+caf test strips are simply little strips of paper coated with antibodies that tell if you a beverage is properly decaffeinated, turning up blue lines if it's got more than 20mg of caffeine per 6oz serving. Even modern decaffeination procedures can't remove every single trace of caffeine, but between 20 and 30 percent of coffee and tea drinks "contain unacceptably high levels of caffeine" according to the strip's maker, Silver Lakes Research.
A box of 20 strips costs $10 and I really wish they were Roof+e strips instead because the Superficial Writer keeps eyeing me salaciously and encouraging me to chug my Appletini.
D+Caf Detects If You're Drinking Real Coffee Instead of Decaf [gizmodo]
Jan 2 2009 I Believe I Can Fly: Plane Mail Postcards
The Postcard Aeroplane is a $7 balsa wood postcard from suckUK that you can send to a friend or former lover. Then, when they receive it, they can punch out the plane parts and fly your message to the moooooooon. One time my grandpa mailed a coconut. To Saturn! Can you tell I've been huffing? I have. I made resolutions! I broke them!
Balsa wood postcard transforms into flying model glider [dvice]
Jan 2 2009 DIY: Make Your Own SNES Cartridge Wallet
Some guy went and made a wallet out of an old SNES game cartridge (that shit better not have been A Link To The Past). The cartridge comes packed with emergency LEDs, videogame sound effects, and enough room to carry cash, cards, keys and a USB memory stick. Granted, it's not the coolest wallet I've ever seen, but I'm biased since I made one out of an entire Wii console. Plus, if i rock it in a front pocket, it makes my junk look bigger. And rectangular-er. Which, according to my latest poll, 6 out of 5 women on the bus find freaky deaky.
Hit the link for a picture of the insides and a link to the Instructable.
Continue Reading " DIY: Make Your Own SNES Cartridge Wallet "
Jan 2 2009 Wood + WALL-E = WOOD-E, Hiyo!
This is WALL-E made out of wood. It was very well constructed.
Disney commissioned UK-based sculptors and a group called Morpheus Prototypes to build this wooden sculpture of Wall-E as a gift for Pixar/Disney Chief Creative Officer John Lasseter.
Impressive, but I could have made the same thing out of a bunch of popsicle sticks and some wood glue. Unfortunately, mommy says I'm not allowed to use the glue anymore because I fed some to my turtle and now he's different. Slower. And he was already slow to begin with! ZING!
Hit the jump for a closeup of a tread.
Jan 2 2009 Yaaaaar!, A Custom Davy Jones Munny Figure
This is a custom Davy Jones Munny figure. You might recall Davy from such blockbusters as Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chesticles, and Ass Pirates of the Caribbean: The Geekologie Writer's Cave of Treasure. This particular pirate was made by Mallory Carson of Fullerton, CA.
Mallory is a 21 year old animation major and currently in her senior year at CSU Fullerton. While she's a full-time student, she manages to score some extra cash by selling her artwork.
And to think I sold my soul (and genitals) to pay my way through college. Art -- who would have known? Seriously though Mallory, good lookin'. I mean it -- I'm handsome as hell. We should date casually.
Hit the jump for two more, including one of Davy-in-progress. Also, his peg-leg looks like a summer sausage and is making me hungry.
Continue Reading " Yaaaaar!, A Custom Davy Jones Munny Figure "
Jan 1 2009 Domo-kun XBox 360 May Eat Other Consoles
I actually made it to 2009! Last night when I was writing the Happy New Year post I still had my doubts about the last few hours of 2008 doing me in, but here I am. Suck it, Death! Go sickle some other sorry bastard you skeletal taint!
Anyway, this is a Domo-kun themed XBox 360 made by DeviantARTist Ricepuppet for his sister-in-law. As you can see, it's brown and looks like a turd that wants to eat you. Kind of like that dream you have when you eat fish right before bed. No, not vagina.
domo-kun mod makes a toothy 360 [technabob]
Dec 31 2008 Eff 2008, Bring On 2009: Happy New Year!
Well folks, we survived another year. Amazing, I know. It's been one hell of a time, and I have every reason to believe 2009 is going to rock the track pants and Members Only jacket off 2008.
Happy New Year! See you in 2020! And by 2020 I mean after my Lasik surgery. HIYO!
Dec 31 2008 I Like Cold Beverages: The Cooper Chiller
The $60 Cooper Cooler Rapid Beverage Chiller chills a beer down to 43 °F in sixty seconds. So, at the moderate drinking rate of one beer per 45 seconds, you only have 15 seconds of down time until the next beer is ready. Not too shabby. You just fill the P.O.S. with ice and water, and presto: it rotates your can, all the while hosing the aluminum bastard down with cold water. Of course, if you're looking for something a little more powerful -- something that can cool a beer instantly -- I've got two words for you: witch titties.
One Minute Drink Chiller Works Better Than A Fire Extinguisher [ohgizmo]
Dec 31 2008 All Of Crappy 2008 In A Mere 40 Seconds
This is a time-lapse video made by Eirik Solheim of the year 2008. As you can see, it was an eventful year. The trees started off naked, put on their sexy spring and summer dresses, then stripped down again in the fall. And I imagine there was a botanical orgy of immeasurable proportions in there somewhere as well. You know -- trees humping trees, a couple bushes trying to get in on the action, maybe a lone deer banging a stump. But maybe that shit doesn't really happen the way I imagine -- how the hell should I know, I'm not a freaking Hobbit!
Dec 31 2008 Google Streets: Porsches & People Pissing
This is a Google Maps Street View of what is allegedly a Porsche prototype being tested in Colorado. Hit the jump for another picture of several different cars, all being covered as the Google Street View van rolls by soliciting children with the promise of free Chupa Chups. And, as a special added bonus, there's a Street View image of some woman pissing behind a car in Madrid, Spain. Because, just like the country song, "sangria makes you piss behind subcompacts".
Hit it.
Continue Reading " Google Streets: Porsches & People Pissing "
Dec 31 2008 Apple Equalizer: These Beats Are So Fresh!
eBay user jetsobox_au is selling a bunch of Apple logo graphic equalizer shirts. You can get one for $20 plus $15 shipping or $35 with free shipping. They light up in all their graphic-equalizing glory when the music is kickin' at the rave and you're rolling your face off, watching some asshat (who may or may not have stuck his pill up his ass with the help of a plastic Wal-Mart bag "glove") swing glowsticks around on showstrings (you know who you are!). Unfortunately, this seems like a bit of, oh I don't know, copyright infringement. Now I'm not saying I'm going to notify Apple to sue the pants off this bastard, but I am going to pose as Apple and "sell" the poor sap the merchandising rights. Suck it, the man!
Hit the jump for a video of the shirt in action and a link to the auctions.
Continue Reading " Apple Equalizer: These Beats Are So Fresh! "
Dec 31 2008 The All New New Years Eve Ball: Now With More Lights, Efficiency And, Uh, Triforces
What you're looking at is the new New Years Eve ball to be dropped (they literally should drop it one year -- after setting it on fire. Fireball Island FTW!) in Times Square tonight.
Last year, the Times Square Ball got an LED makeover for its 100th anniversary. This year that tradition continues, all 32,256 Philips Luxeon Rebel LEDs of it (and don't forget the 2,668 Waterford crystals). The 12-foot-wide, 11,875-pound ball is capable of displaying "16 million vibrant colors and billions of patterns"
The ball is 20% more efficient than last year as well, which means it will only consume enough power to run a handful of towns in the midwest. Oooooh, and what's with the Philips Rebel LEDs? I like the sound of those. "F*** you, we'll light when we want!"
Next year, Rogue LEDs.
The 'New' New Year's Eve Ball: 32,256 LEDs, 11,875 pounds, 20% more efficient [dvice]
Dec 30 2008 Using The Force: Lightsaber Nunchucks
Nice try buddy, but you're no Star Wars kid.
Thanks to Andy, who once beat Bruce Lee at nunchuck ping pong.
Dec 30 2008 Spoiled Brats: The Cloud 9 Radio Flyer
The Cloud 9 by Radio Flyer is thankfully just conceptual at this time because no child, I don't care if they pick platinum boogers, deserves to ride around in such opulence. The questionable Flyer comes complete with two seats, MP3 player, speaker system, 5-point racing harnesses, and a digital display with temperature, odometer, and speedometer readouts. If the Cloud makes production, expect around a $1,000 pricetag. And to think: I spent my youth being pushed around in a wheelbarrow. For shame.
Radio Flyer Cloud 9 Wagon Crushes My Youthful Memories With MP3 Player, Bucket Seats [gizmodo]
Dec 30 2008 Yes Please!: Legend Of Zelda Messenger Bag
Damnit, why didn't I know about this before Christmas?
This ($45) Zelda Messenger Bag features the Zelda map and the Triforce logo. The bag is great for carrying your lap top or just keeping your paper organized for work or class. There are side pockets for easy access as well as an internal cell phone pocket and security pockets. This is a heavy duty messenger bag that will keep you organized but also show your love for LOZ.
It's a messenger bag. It's Zelda themed. Ladies and gentlemen, it's official: I'm hard. Oh -- make that medium. Fluffer!
Legend of Zelda Messenger Bag [uberreview]
Dec 30 2008 Night Gardening With The Flashlight Hose
The Flashlight Nozzle is a garden hose attachment with an integrated LED flashlight that runs off 2 AA batteries. You know, so you can water your grass at night. Perfect for vampires, insomniacs, and rogue pot farmers, the botanical blaster will set you back a paltry $12.50. Or you could tape a flashlight to your existent nozzle. Now, which one of you lucky ladies wants me to water your roses on New Years Eve? Haha, I don't even know what means!
Flashlight Garden Nozzle [ohgizmo]
Dec 29 2008 PEW PEW: Cops' New Non-Lethal Weaponry
That thing doesn't even look real. It looks like a gun out of a video game. Or something cardboard Halo kid would make. But no, it's real (nonlethal) weapon.
Pictured above is the PHaSR, the bad-ass "Personnel Halting and Stimulation Response" rifle that's just about ready for deployment. It puts the hurt on you by dazzling you with laser light, while also burning your skin with an infrared laser.
PHaSR, very clever. I would have gone with PEW! though: Personal Eradication Weapon!. But hey, what do I know? I'm only a guy that practically comes up with acronyms for a living. Anyway, there's another weapon coming too, the ADS, or Active Denial System (which should clearly be the Active Incendiary Denial System), capable of shooting a 6-foot wide microwave beam that makes you feel all hot and bothered, but, on the plus side, can cook a frozen burrito like that.
Two fearsome non-lethal weapons on their way to cops' hands [dvice]
Dec 29 2008 Mmmm, Gutsy: A Thorax Cake
Damn that looks delicious. I just want to eat it up. Then slather the leftovers on a naked chick, take some moderately tasteful(!) erotic photographs, and sneak out a window while she cleans up.
The plan was for each organ to be made out of a different kind of cake and to secrete a different color of fluid when it was cut into. Previous heart cakes have bled fresh, homemade raspberry sauce. Sadly, the organs didn't bleed as well as I had hoped when I cut the cake, as each organ was relatively small and couldn't hold much sauce. Also all the moving around after filling the organs made it hard to keep the sauce contained in the little cavities I hollowed out. The heart bled pretty well, but the other organ fluids weren't very dramatic.
Heart - orange cake with raspberry sauce
Lungs - apple spice cake with strawberry sauce
Kidneys - orange cake with blueberry sauce
Stomach - ginger cake with mango sauce
Liver - chocolate cake with kiwi sauce
Small Intestine - jelly roll with red currant jelly
My God does that sound good. And I'm not even a big fan of purification organs. Now pipe organs -- that's another story. DOOT DOO DOO DOO DOO -- DOOT DOOT DOOT DOOT DOOT!! Anybody? Phantom of the Opera!
Hit the jump for a ton more of the construction and final product.
Dec 29 2008 Welp, This Is What 'Street Fighter' Looks Like
Are you ready for some intense street fighting action? How about some fairly lame street fighting action of a quality that will have you continually asking when Steven Seagal is going to show up? Because that's what I have for you with the teaser trailer for Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li. The voice-over is all Japanese, but I'm pretty sure it's just someone repeatedly saying, "What were you expecting?"
And Bison has a goatee:
Continue Reading "Welp, This Is What 'Street Fighter' Looks Like"
Dec 29 2008 Sexy Kinetic Dresses Respond To Stimuli
Walking City is a fashion collection by designer Ying Gao that includes three dresses that respond to different stimuli. The one in this video has a proximity detector. So when you get near it starts opening its little flower-looking accouterments. Pretty freaky looking. There's another video after the jump of a dress that blows itself up whenever a wind sensor is set off. The third one sucks so I'm not going to mention it. Sadly, none are as cool as the dress that turns into a naked woman. Which, as far as fashion goes, is the boner.
Hit it for the other one.
Continue Reading " Sexy Kinetic Dresses Respond To Stimuli "
Dec 29 2008 Custom Made Tusken Raider Munny Doll
This is a custom Munny doll made by artist Squapper. As you might notice as result of your above-average intellect and love of Star Wars, it's a Tusken Raider.
For the body, I simply sewed clothes by hand, soaked them in water, painted with watercolor to add dirt, messed up the edges and then put them on the Munny and let the dry in place to fit to the shape.For the bandages, I cut cloth into strips, soaked them and painted them, messed up the edges while wet and then let dry. Fitting them to the head was then simply a matter of using spray glue to make it adhere like tape and wrapping them on...
Not too shabby. Although, I must admit, I'm not really big into the Munny scene. I own a few of my favorites, but I'm not a diehard collector like some folks I know. Nope, I save my bookshelves for other collectibles -- namely seashells. Now, who wants to see my bivalves? Conch!
Hit the jump for several more, including a nice closeup of its sexy face.
Dec 29 2008 50-Foot Asimo To Lead Rose Bowl Parade
Honda is rocking out with their robot out January 1st at the Tournament of Roses on January 1st in Pasadena, California. That's right, a 50-foot likeness of Asimo, the harbinger of our destruction, will lead the parade along with a Honda FCX Clarity (fuel cell car). Be sure to tune in and watch the giant robotic bastard go rogue and start stomping dancers and bystanders. Which, I think we can all agree, will make for some awesome freaking television.
Hit the jump for two more pictures, including one of construction.
Dec 29 2008 PEWtastic: Sweet Looking Wiimote-Gun Mod
Yep, somehow this WeeP5 is actually a fully functional Wiimote. Alternatively, a great way to miss a flight.
In case you're wondering: B button is the trigger, A button is under the foregrip, 1 and 2 are on opposite sides near the front, the D-pad and Wii remote are jutting out of the left side, and the +, -, and home buttons are on the top just above the ammo clip.
You'd think somebody with the technological savvy to mod an MP5-looking Wiimote would own a DVD player. I mean, Amélie on VHS? WTF! Seriously though, I loved the part where she led the blind man around.
Hit the jump for a much more questionable Wiimote-gun mod.
Continue Reading " PEWtastic: Sweet Looking Wiimote-Gun Mod "
