MUST WATCH! Not only will one-year-old Melodie grow up to break your son's heart, she'll beat all his high scores in the process. Cutest Game Video of 2008 will Melt Any Gamer's Heart [gizmodo] | More →

Mercedes, in their unending quest to save the lives of the rich, is installing a new feature in its E class automobiles (sorry, you C class peasants are still f***ed). Mercedes studied the brain waves of sleepy drivers, and matched those up with lackadaisical steering tendencies, resulting in a car that can sense if you're spacing out. Attention Assist uses precision sensors on the... | More →

Remember the cell phone gun that Italian police found in a raid on the mafia? Turns out they're mad popular in Europe. And, I've got to tell ya, I'd almost be fooled if it looked like a Blackberry and not a phone from the 90's -- the 1890's (note to self: fact check 19th century cell phone technology). Some guy ranting about the pieces... | More →

High school students in Montgomery County, Maryland (where, incidentally, I used to live -- go Q.O.!) are Photoshopping pictures of their enemy's license plates, taping them to another car, and then speeding through areas with those automatic ticketing cameras. Interesting.... The Speed Camera Program was implemented in March of this year and used for the purpose of reducing traffic and pedestrian collisions in the... | More →

This is a video of Macs and PCs transforming into little robot people and battling to the death. Who wins? You'll have to watch to find out! Read: I stopped watching halfway through to go scavenge for food. Well sandwiches don't make themselves! *ahem* Ladies, that was a hint. Crunchy PB, boysenberry jelly -- cut into triangles. Youtube Thanks to *nix and Bustani, who... | More →

Want to add some delicious flair to any website? Then just type http://bacolicio.us/ before a site's URL (e.g. http://bacolicio.us/http://www.geekologie.com/), and presto, you're licking fingerprints off your monitor. Right now the bacon is wearing a Santa hat in the spirit of the holidays, but I believe typically the delectable strip is naked. Oh, and esurance -- you're being charged for the extra ad in the... | More →

I'm not saying wearing a $110 Star Wars themed sports jersey is going to hinder my chances of rounding third base and heading home with a female, but it might. And let's face it, I need all the help I can get. But just in case -- ladies? Who wants to do it while I wear a Jedi jersey? Any takers? No? Okay, fine,... | More →

Well we've already seen a $15,000 full-sized vampire killing kit. But what if you want something smaller? You know, a little vampire protection that'll fit in your pocket or man-purse? Enter the Vintage Pocket Sized Vampire Slaying Kit. This is a Vampire killing kit that will travel with you, cause you never know when you may need it. It measures 6 5/8 inches long,... | More →

8-Bit Jesus is an 18 track album featuring everyone's favorite Christmas tunes, but created using the music from classic NES games. It was all amazingly well made by Doctor Octoroc. I particularly enjoyed "We Three Konami", "8 Days of Master Robots", "Joy to Commando", "Super Jingle Bros.", "Bubbles We Have Heard On Bobble", "What Guardian is Legend?", "Icarus! The Angels Sing", "O Come, All... | More →

Well folks, we've all somehow managed to survive another year and make it to Jesus' B-day Extravaganza, 2008. I imagine you're all enjoying time with friends and family, opening wrapped boxes containing the things you've always wanted. And, if you're not, hopefully you at least know a bar that's open. Merry Christmas to you and yours, from the Geekologie Writer and his (dog). Flickr... | More →

No need to thank me folks, just spreading some holiday, um, nipple-stache. And remember, it's not too late to add "new eyes" to your last minute Christmas list. The nipple mustache [iosoup] Thanks to Kevin, who allegedly grew a crotch-stache for his senior prom. | More →

iBoobs, undeniably the best iPhone application to date, has been denied the right to be sold in the iTunes store, because Apple claims the app is pornographic. Which, I think we can all agree, is utterly ridiculous. And by "utterly ridiculous" I mean I popped like 16 boners. Youtube Thanks to Dylan, who agrees that Apple wouldn't be where they are today if it... | More →

Sex chips. My God, what if they come in honey bbq flavor? The chip works by sending tiny shocks from implanted electrodes in the brain. Neurosurgery professor Tipu Aziz, said: "There is evidence that this chip will work. A few years ago a scientist implanted such a device into the brain of a woman with a low sex drive and turned her into a... | More →

The $25 Rocket Launcher Alarm Clock is phallic as hell and I want one really badly. When it's time to wake up the rocket ship blasts off -- and you have to retrieve said rocket and replace it on the base for the beeping to stop. Alternatively, you can break the base. And while this certainly isn't the worst way to wake up, it... | More →

The F-Bomb is a little $10 plushie with a sensor inside that, when thrown to the ground, says everyone's favorite f word. Which, I can only assume, is fingerbangarang. drop as many f-bombs as you want [technabob] | More →

That's right folks: according to the cannibals of Papua New Guinea, the Japanese are delicious. Anthropologist Olga Ammann describes it more succinctly in the book. She quotes people who have eaten other humans: "The meat of white people smells too strongly and is too salty." The Japanese are meant to taste the best, according to her study - the only thing that beats it... | More →

It's a well known fact that Santa hates my guts because I caught him boning a reindeer one foggy Christmas Eve while I was trying to piss my name in the snow (not Rudolph though, it was dark). So I'm probably not gonna get anything, but I figured I'd try anyways. Santa, Just writing to inform you of a last minute gift idea for... | More →

Definitely watch this to the very end. It's a bunch of kids running around with real-life Thor hammers. I have no idea if this is some kind of religious celebration or what, but if it is, I'm converting. My sex -- I want a vagina. Youtube Thanks to Yo poleo, who once made an explosive chainsaw and lived to tell about it.... | More →

With meat instead of gingerbread! And not just any meat -- deliciously processed meat. Mmmm! The whole abode is held together with a delectable mortar, which you can make yourself using the following recipe: Wifezilla's Low carb "Meat House" Mortar 2 8oz packages of cream cheese 1/4 cup palm oil 1 package onion soup mix Blend all ingredients together until smooth and creamy. All... | More →

If you're ever in a plane crash, what's the first thing you should do? Of course -- Twitter about it! That's exactly what Mike Wilson did after Continental flight 1404 veered off the runway at Denver International Airport and caught fire. "Holy f*cking sh*t I was just in a plane crash," he wrote in a text message shortly after Continental Flight 1404 burst into... | More →

The Cabestan Winch Tourbillion Vertical Watch is utterly ridiculous and has 1,352 parts (in comparison, my sundial has two). It's "driven by a 450 link chain and nickel silver drums" and looks like it'll break just putting it on. The base model will set you back $275,000, but if you want that shit to have platinum and diamonds and a set of grillz it'll... | More →

I vow to be the guy who puts up the ridiculous Christmas lights every year. But no inflatable decorations. Those things are freaking classless. Unless you have them in your yard, in which case, good looking. But we're talking lights here. We're talking serious exterior illumination. We're talking....Light-O-Rama! Light-O-Rama is an affordable, computerized lighting system designed to control elaborate or simple lighting displays. The... | More →

Sorry for the unusual lack of postage in the past few days, folks. I've been traveling my ass off (read: cover up for male enhancement surgery) and had to post via message in a bottle. But I'm back and ready to Geek the ologie. Look out! Anyway, Mark Borlase went and built himself a wicked Hoth battle diorama out of 60,000 LEGO blocks. Sure... | More →

The Float-A-Pet floating dog collar saves pet lives should God decide to spite us with another flood for all the debauchery. When the collar's sensors detect water -- PFFFFT -- the collar inflates, keeping most tiny-ass dogs and cats afloat by their neck. Also, I'd say it probably works on turtles. But seriously Noah, you could have saved yourself a ton of labor. Floating... | More →

I'm gonna miss you, Dino. Failblog | More →

If there's one thing I hate about Christmas it's that fat bastard Santa and his lack of presentry for yours truly. I swear, you write one too many dirty jokes and the boubon-soaked skeezeball (trust me, I could smell his breath when I sat on his lap at the mall in '85. Also, I'm now spreading a rumor he touched my butt) passes your... | More →

Some guy broke his knee playing Guitar Hero. Well, it wasn't actually the game that did it, he was trying to do a Rockette high-kick or some shit for extra style points. He failed. I was face to face with my Arch Nemesis/Very Good Friend/Roommate Craig. It was time to see who could out rock each other while playing Texas Flood. We were neck... | More →